Irreparably Broken

by K J Bell

  She removes her PJ top and slips on a T-shirt. “Tori, no one else was involved. Brady and Tug just beat the shit out of each other. Grab your keys. We need to get them before my parents get home and find out.”

  “Oh, my God, Liv.” I fall back onto the bed. “This is all my fault.”

  “My brothers are grown-ups. You didn’t force them to do anything. They’re idiots.” She grabs my arm and pulls me up.

  We race to my Jeep, the tires screeching as I peel out of the driveway. “Liv, what do we do? Do they need bail?”

  “No, the owner of the bar is a friend of Brady’s. He’s not pressing charges, but they have to be released to a family member.”

  I feel a miniscule amount of relief. “Thank God.”

  Liv pulls a brush from her purse and runs it through her hair. “Tori, I’m sure you never intended for this to happen, but no matter which one of them you choose, the other is going to be hurt. Regardless, you can’t string them along.”

  I frown. I have no idea what to do. How can I choose one of them if it means hurting the other?

  We rush into the police station to find Tug and Brady sitting in the waiting room. Both of them glance up at me and then look away. There’s dried blood on their faces, and Tug’s left eye is swollen shut. Brady has a small cut on his cheek just below his right eye, and I notice bandages wrapped around his midsection.

  Liv goes to the counter and talks with one of the officers. I stand near the door, waiting for Liv, my arms folded in front of my chest, not angrily, just supportively. Liv finishes with the officer, signs a few forms, and turns toward her brothers with a look of complete disappointment on her face. Her expression quickly turns to anger. She’s a woman on a mission as she marches toward her brothers with her hands firmly on her hips.

  “Are you two completely insane? What the hell were you thinking? You’re brothers. You’re family, for Christ’s sake. Start acting like it.”

  Unable to control it, a smirk crawls up the corners of my mouth. Liv is going to make one hell of a mom someday. Even I want to say “yes, ma’am” and bow my head obediently.

  When we reach my Jeep, Liv ask the two of them if they can behave themselves until we get to the house. After agreeing, they climb into the back seat and buckle in. Liv gets in the passenger seat and slams her door. “You’re lucky I answered the phone and not Mom. You better come up with a believable story for all those bruises.”

  The ride home is excruciating, the tension so thick I’m afraid to breathe. The silence is so deafening it hurts. What the hell was I thinking going out with Tug? If the two of them are unable to work this out, I’ll never forgive myself.

  As soon as the tires cross the driveway, Brady and Tug shout in unison, “Let me out.”

  Liv gets out first, and they both jump out of the Jeep on her side. I open my door and watch Brady march through the side yard.

  “Where are you going, Brady?” Liv yells after him.

  “To the shed,” he answers, but doesn’t turn around.

  “The shed? He still plays?” I ask.

  Liv loops her arm through mine. “Only when he’s really pissed.”

  Brady

  I haven’t sat behind a drum kit in a very long time. The other night I felt it was the only way I could channel my rage, and I’ve spent most of the last three days out here, even sleeping on the futon. While the anger has subsided a little, I can’t escape the exhilaration that comes with beating the maple sticks into the Kevlar fabric, syncing the rhythm with my mood. My mother always scoffs at my desire to play, telling me she has other plans for me, and my father thinks if I’m not playing football, I’m wasting my time. Now that their opinion of me no longer means anything, I find much-needed solitude out here in the shed.

  Another reason for my spending time out here is avoiding the inside of my house. I can’t face Tori or Tug. Why did I have to be such an ass? I love Tori, but Tug is my brother. I have to let her go, because I will not lose him.

  I don’t notice Tug until the song is finished. When I look up, he turns away.

  “What’s up?” I ask cautiously.

  His hands are in his pockets, and he’s bouncing on his toes nervously. His eye’s still swollen, yellow and purple, which makes me feel shitty. “You’ve been out here a lot lately, huh?”

  I set the sticks down and wipe sweat from my face with my T-shirt. “Yeah, I guess it’s better than reality.”

  He laughs softly under his breath. “Maybe I should try it.”

  I tilt my head. “That bad, huh?”

  “It’s a little tense.” He shrugs. “I used to love to hang out in here, listening to you play. Do you remember that?”

  I smile, recalling how much I loved it when Tug would come out here to visit me. “How could I forget? I believe you were usually hiding from Liv and Tori because they were annoying you.”

  He laughs, both of us ignoring the elephant in the room. “Yeah, I lived through a whole hell of a lot of makeup and Barbies.”

  Listening to Tug makes me feel like a bigger jerk. It figures he’d be the one to break the ice when I’m the one who messed up. “Look, Tug, I should apologize for losing my cool. You’re my brother, and I love you. I should never have allowed a girl to come between us. It was wrong.”

  Tug smirks, and he steps into the shed. He stands in front of the drums, tapping lightly on the cymbal with his index fingers. “It’s not just a girl, it’s Tori.”

  He’s right about that. She’s… “Yeah, I know how strongly you feel about her. I’ve decided to go back to L.A. and let her go. My life is a mess right now anyway, and if she has to end up with somebody else, it might as well be you.”

  His eyes meet mine, and he slaps his hand on the cymbal. He waits for the vibration to stop before he speaks. “I don’t think you should do that. I’ve thought about it a lot. Tori should decide who she wants to be with. If it’s you, I’ll be okay with it. And if it’s me, I’d like it if you accepted it. What I don’t want is for one of us to make the choice for her by backing away.”

  “When did you become so grown-up?” I ask.

  “Don’t tell anyone.” Tug laughs. “Truthfully, though, you don’t have anything to worry about. That girl, for some unfathomable reason, loves your ugly, pompous ass. She’ll come around.”

  I chuckle. “I take back it back. You’re still an immature little shit.”

  He smiles, but then his expression changes, and he looks distressed. “Just so you know, Brady. I didn’t move in on her like you think. It started out as me dragging her out of the house because watching her mope was seriously depressing.”

  That hurts. It hurts because if I hadn’t fucked up, she wouldn’t have needed Tug to be there for her. “Well, thanks, that makes me feel better.”

  His chin lifts, and suddenly there’s animosity behind his eyes. “Good, you should feel guilty. You were a dick. I don’t even know what happened between you two. I’m sure it has something to do with Vanessa, though. If Tori does take you back, you can’t bail on her and run to Vanessa every time the two of you have an argument.”

  I bite back the f-bomb I want to throw his way. “You’re a presumptive little shit, too. We didn’t have an argument. We had a discussion and it was about Vanessa, but I didn’t run to Vanessa.”

  He scoffs. “I think she believes you did.”

  “And you’d be wrong again. Tori knows I didn’t go to Vanessa’s.”

  He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

  I pick up my sticks and grip them so hard the wood splits, almost snapping them. “I’m absolutely positive. Vanessa is dead. Tori knows.”

  His expression changes from petulant to regretful. “Shit, Brady. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  I wave the sticks in front of me, shaking my head. “It’s fine. I struggle with it, and when Tori got too close, I bailed.”

  “What happened?”

  I tell him she’s gone, but that’s all I’m willing to say. “I�
�m not up for talking about it right now. Maybe someday, but not right now, okay?”

  He nods toward the house. “That’s cool, but you should talk to Tori.”

  “I’ll think about it.” I smile. “Thanks, bro.”

  He starts to leave, and then stops in the doorway and turns around. “What are little brothers good for, if not sticking their nose in your business?”

  Chapter 33

  Tori

  I pour a cup of coffee, and quickly add cream and sugar, desperately needing caffeine. Sleep eluded me most of the night. As I sip the warm liquid, smelling the hazelnut aroma, I smile for the first time in three days, the most difficult days of my life. In a home that has always offered me so much comfort, I now feel nothing but stress.

  Liv is hardly speaking to me, other than to remind me I need to make a choice, and if I hurt one of her brothers she may not be able to forgive me. Neither Tug nor Brady will even look at me. All my brief interactions with Mr. and Mrs. Hunter usually involve a three-second standoff while trying to get a cup of coffee or something from the fridge.

  I considered moving out. It’s probably the right thing to do. I can’t afford a place on my own, and I’ve answered a few roommate ads. Most of the people I’ve contacted scare the crap out of me. After speaking with them, I clearly understand why they don’t currently have a roommate. My only other option is to pack up and move to Minn-e-fuckin-sota. I’ve decided against that because I hate Ugg boots and anything fleece, and down feathers make me sneeze.

  Spending the night tossing and turning helped me to realize, I never had a choice to make between Tug and Brady. I do love them both, but very differently. My time with Tug was a distraction from the one person who has always owned my heart.

  Fear of the unknown causes of Brady’s current behavior are what led me to Tug, but I’m not in love with Tug. I care deeply for him, but I will always belong with Brady, to Brady. It hit me when I reflected on my time with Brady while we were in Mexico, his hands roaming my body, and the promise I made to forgive him when he messed up. I agreed, yet when I was faced with the first obstacle, I failed to keep my word, and I hate myself for it.

  Now that I’ve decided, the only way it will work between us is if he makes me a promise in return. An open and honest conversation about the relationship he now has with his mother, what happened to Vanessa, and where the money he has comes from. The only obstacle I’m unable to hurdle will be if he’s into something illegal. Such activities will stop me in my tracks.

  “Nutty buddy, up to your old tricks, are you?” Tug sounds surprisingly friendly this morning, and he’s nearly scared me to death. “You know that mug can’t answer you right.”

  “Funny,” I reply, rolling my eyes. “You have to quit doing that. Scaring people is not nice.”

  He gives me a sidelong glance wrapped in a warm smile. “I’ll assume the discussion between you and Mr. Coffee involves me and my handsome older brother?”

  “Tug, I…”

  He lounges against the counter next to me. It’s the closest we’ve been to each other in three days. “You don’t want to talk about it.”

  I frown and sip more coffee. I set the mug on the counter and glance around the kitchen. Nerves have my knees knocking together. I take a deep breath for courage and look pointedly at Tug. “I do. I just don’t want to hurt you.”

  His lips twist into a frown, and he studies my face. “So you chose Brady?”

  Before I can talk myself out of it, I grab Tug’s hand, holding it against my chest, and explain. “Tug, it’s not like that. I didn’t have to make a choice. I’ve been in love with Brady for as long as I can remember. I love you, too, but it’s not the same. I can’t explain it, but someday you’ll feel this way about someone, too, and maybe then you’ll understand.” My tears swell. I’ve hurt him, and now I’ve lost him.

  The smile that lifts his cheeks is reassuring, but it doesn’t stop me from squirming in the silence between us. After a couple of painfully tense minutes, he finally speaks. “It’s okay.” He pulls me to his chest and hugs me. “I already understand.”

  I’m not sure if he means he understands because he knows I’m right or because he feels that way about me. Right now, I’m just grateful for any compassion he offers and desperate to salvage our friendship. “I’m sorry. Can we still be friends? You mean so much to me, and I hate the thought of things being awkward between us. I miss my Tug.”

  “Of course we can still be friends.” He lifts a brow, giving away the next question, which has me elated. “I guess this means you won’t be going out with me this weekend, huh?”

  “I’d rather eat a bowl full of mushed-up worms.” I smile, taking it easy on him. I appreciate the sentiment.

  “I’m glad we had this talk.” He hugs me again. “So…how have you been?” he asks, casually teasing me.

  I roll my eyes. “You’re too much, Tug. Truthfully, I’ve been miserable, but things are looking up.”

  “That they are. Someone else has been miserable, too.” He nods his head toward the glass doors. “He’s in the shed.”

  “Have you spoken to him, since, well, you know…since the other night?” I ask hesitantly.

  “No!” he instantly responds, then shrugs. “Just a guess. We’ll work it out. He’s my favorite brother.”

  “He’s your only brother, Tug.”

  “Eh, that, too,” he replies, and then his face loses all humor. “I think he wants to see you.”

  My stomach flip-flops as I think about talking to Brady. “You know, I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

  “Oh, jeez,” he snorts. “You remember when we went to the movies the first time, and I told you that people in romance movies are stubborn because they’re always running from each other and the girls are always whining?”

  I remember. I compared it to my books. “Yes, I believe I agreed with you.”

  He grabs my arms and yells, “You’re being a stubborn whiner!”

  He’s right, and I chuckle. “Oh, my God, I’m whiny romance girl.”

  He nods, smiling crookedly. “You might even be worse.”

  I want to argue with him, but at the moment he’s right. “Thank you, Tug. I don’t deserve you, but I’m glad we’re on our way back to being friends.”

  “We’re not on our way. We’re there. Come here.” He wraps me in another hug. Tug forgives so easily, and it’s why I both adore and worry about him. I’m afraid he’ll meet a girl someday, and be so taken by her that he’ll allow her to walk all over him.

  He releases me. I pick up my mug of coffee and lean against the counter, drinking it.

  Tug digs around in the fridge. “Oh, by the way, Jake’s been calling the house.”

  I was afraid of that – he’s been calling my cell, too, and I’ve been ignoring him.

  Tug closes the fridge door, cup of yogurt in hand. “I get the impression Jake wants you back.” His pointer finger touches the corner of his mouth and he says, “So many choices, Miss Preston.”

  “Ugh! Jake is not up for consideration! I’d rather be a slave to Jabba the Hutt than ever go there with him again.”

  “That may be your best one yet, Tor.” He laughs. “The last time he called, I finally answered. He asked if he could come by and talk to you.” He grins. “Don’t worry, I told him if he liked his pretty face, I’d advise him against it.”

  “Thanks, Tug.” I laugh.

  Tug stretches his arm, resting his hand on my shoulder. “Go talk to Brady.”

  I kiss him on the cheek and walk out the sliding glass door. As I walk barefoot through the grass to the shed, I’m full of nerves, and butterflies flail around in my chest.

  Just as Brady slams his stick into the snare, he looks up and sees me. We exchange nervous glances. He smiles, and I swear I stop breathing. God, I’ve missed him. Drops of sweat roll down the sides of his face. The cut on his cheek is almost healed. He hasn’t shaved, and his face is shadowed with dark stubble. He looks hot, exceptionally h
ot.

  “Hi.” I smile impishly, my heart thundering against my ribs.

  He smiles a familiar beautiful smile that makes me want to run to him and kiss him all over. “You’re the second visitor to startle me today, though I must say you’re much prettier than Tug.”

  That little brat. I knew he was up to something. He needs to add matchmaker to his list of annoying attributes. “Tug came to see you?”

  His gaze rakes up and down my body, drinking me in, and I blush. “Yeah, just a little while ago.”

  “And how did that go?” I ask anxiously. I don’t see any new bruises, and Tug didn’t have any, so I guess it couldn’t have been too bad.

  He nods understandingly. “Pretty good, actually.”

  I hold my hands together in front of me, taking a few steps toward him, twisting my hips and bouncing on the balls of my feet. “Yeah, he came to see me, too.”

  Brady’s eyebrows lift. “He did, did he? And what did he say?”

  I nibble on my lower lip before I answer. “He asked if I’d made a choice.”

  His nostrils flare as he sucks in air through his nose. “And what did you tell him?”

  “I told him I did,” I reply, holding back.

  He swallows hard and clears his throat. “And?”

  I take another step closer to him. “And…I told him, I chose him.”

  Brady’s drumsticks fall to the floor. “I understand, but I…”

  Acutely aware of his profound disappointment, I cut him off before he finishes. “I told him I chose his friendship, Brady. When it comes to my love, it’s always been yours.” I walk the rest of the way to him, and sit on his lap, facing him. My index finger traces over his cut and I press my lips to it, gently kissing it. He winds his arms around my waist and locks his fingers. I brush sweaty hair from his forehead, revealing his enchanting green eyes. They meet mine, a glint of desire behind them. “I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time,” I whisper.