Broken Bliss: An Mpreg Romance (Hot Alaska Nights Book 2)

by Aiden Bates

  Finally home.

  ***

  The good mood didn’t last long, unfortunately.

  Physical therapy was kicking Raff’s butt. It was necessary to regain full use and strength in his left arm, so that he could avoid another surgery, but it was exhausting and painful.

  Every few days, he would call Sam for encouragement, which took the form of Sam laughing at him for being a “two-hundred pound weakling.” But the humor seemed to help.

  Raff still wasn’t ready to go to work, so he was bored. He stayed home with Elizabeth while Chris worked on building his new practice, but he couldn’t pick her up. He also could no longer sit on the floor and play with her, lest he not be able to get himself back up. Chris moved Elizabeth’s dollhouse to the kitchen table so they could play together more easily, but the changes in Raff’s physical form seemed to depress him. He’d always been the strong, big guy, and he was no longer as strong as he used to be, at least for now.

  Another unexpected change was that, while they had plenty of friends in New York City, they didn’t get together as much as their friends in Stellar did. The sudden lack of a social life was quite jarring after spending half a year with neighbors who stopped by without calling and friends who planned parties for every holiday including Flag Day and Grandparents Day.

  They weren’t lonely—friends and family were a phone call away—but they were a little let-down. It was like the days after Christmas when you were a kid; a little boring, a little disappointing.

  Chris knew that he needed to find a way to perk his husband up.

  There was something that kept running through Chris’s head. Back in Stellar, when Sam saw the press hanging around like vultures, he said that no one cared to truly get to know Raff.

  It seemed that way. But it wasn’t true.

  While they were in Stellar, their Brooklyn mail was forwarded to Chris’s office, and one of the letters was from the anchor of a popular television news magazine. Her name was Beverly Berkin and she was a well-respected veteran in the news industry, trusted by Americans young and old. As she became older, she chose stories that were more uplifting; a change that was appreciated by the nation when so much of the nightly news was distressing. Her letter to Raff said that she was intrigued by his story, as were many Americans, and she wanted to give him a chance to tell the whole tale.

  Chris and Raff often opened each other’s mail. It was no big deal to either of them. Raff was still in the hospital when the letter arrived and, after reading it, Chris decided not to bother Raff with it just then. He needed to get better.

  But what about now?

  As promised, Chris kept his days at the office short. It was easier than expected to keep that promise now that he was getting more and more pregnant each day, and was needed at home as well. He arrived home that night at 5:30 with a big bag of Thai food. Usually that would elicit an expression of appreciation from Raff, but tonight he was just quiet.

  “I got you spicy som tam with shrimp,” Chris said, realizing that he was using the same tempting tone as when he tried to get Elizabeth to try a new food. He opened the container that contained the papaya salad and showed it to Raff.

  Raff half shrugged and took the container with a quiet “Thanks.”

  They ate at the coffee table, with the television on, catching up on the latest season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt while Elizabeth gnawed on a vegetable spring roll.

  The silence was coming back.

  Chris grabbed the remote and turned off the television.

  “So listen, Raff. I’ve got something to tell you. Something big.”

  That got his attention. “Is everything okay? Is it the baby?”

  Chris reassured him that the baby was fine. Then he told Raff about the letter from Beverly Berkin, about how he contacted her when they got back to New York, and how she still wanted to give Raff a platform to clear his name.

  Raff cleared his throat. “Do you think that’s necessary? Does anyone really care?”

  “Necessary? I mean, it’s not going to change our life drastically whether you do or not. But have you seen this?”

  Chris reached into the drawer of the accent table and pulled out a tabloid that he picked up earlier in the week. On the fourth page, in a small one-column article, was a picture of Raff leaving the physical therapist’s office. He was wearing blue sweats instead of signature Levis and black tee, because it was too hard for him to put on anything else these days. His mouth was open and his eyes were half-closed, an intentional shot to try to make him look bad.

  The title read “Brooklyn Beefcake Biker’s Body’s Broken.”

  Raff picked it up. It was obvious that he hadn’t seen it. “That’s one shitty title.”

  Chris snickered. It was nice to hear Raff crack a joke.

  “Well, just so you know, they’re still out there. And they’re still interested. Maybe doing the interview would create some compassion, or at least quell some of the rumors. Because I’ve seen other articles. This is one of the nicer ones.”

  Raff nodded.

  “The other thing is, it pays well. And while I would normally not ask you to pimp yourself out, we do have some bills to catch up on now that I’m working for myself. We can cover your physical therapy or the surgery, if it comes down to it, and whatever’s leftover we can put into Elizabeth’s college fund or donate to charity.” He was using that tempting voice again.

  “How do we know that she will be fair, you know? That she won’t cut out pieces of what I say and make me sound like a criminal. Or an idiot?”

  “That’s not going to happen. You know why?” Chris leaned over and kissed Raff softly while looking into his eyes. “Because you’re married to one of the best lawyers in New York City. And I’m definitely the best lawyer in Stellar, Alaska. I’ll work up an agreement that the show will have to sign. And if they break it, I’ll have them charged with libel so fast, their heads will spin.”

  Raff’s face broke into a grin. “You’re sexy when you’re litigious.”

  “I know.”

  The next morning at breakfast, Raff said he wanted to do it.

  “You’re sure?” Chris was thrilled with the choice, but he also wanted to make sure that Raff was doing it for himself, not because Chris wanted him to and certainly not for a paycheck.

  “I’m sure. Draw up that contract thing and let’s go over it tonight. And, if you don’t mind, I’m in the mood for tacos. I’ll pick them up from Anita’s with Bizzy when you’re on your way home.”

  Much more so than the words, it was Raff’s mood and body language that told Chris that, yes, Raff was sure. He was going to be on Berkin’s Broadcast.

  Chapter Nineteen

  BERKIN’S BROADCAST

  Interview with Rafael Rivera

  Air Date February 4, 2017 – 21:00 ET

  BEVERLY BERKIN, HOST: Tonight, we meet the Sexy Swindler, the Brooklyn Beefcake, the Naughty Hottie, who also happens to be an addiction-recovery specialist, a community activist, and a loving alpha husband and father. Or is he an art thief, an alcoholic, and a former wild child who maimed an innocent man with his motorcycle?

  Good evening. Tonight we are speaking with Rafael ‘Raff’ Rivera, who burst back onto the tabloid scene in 2016 when a former acquaintance tried to re-pin the 2006 theft of the Merelda Mercier painting on him.

  Hello, Raff. May I call you Raff?

  RAFAEL RIVERA: Certainly. May I call you Bev?

  BERKIN: Absolutely not, young man. [laughter] But Beverly will do. Raff, I am not the first person to notice or to tell you this, but you are an exceptionally handsome man.

  RIVERA: Thank you, Beverly.

  BERKIN: Some would say you look like a young Joe Manganiello.

  RIVERA: Oh, well . . . I don’t know about that.

  BERKIN: You’re also very humble. [laughter] Do you think that some of your fame, as a relatively unknown person who suddenly was on the cover of every tabloid in the land, had something to do with y
our looks?

  RIVERA: I don’t really have an opinion on that. And if you think I’m handsome, you should see my husband.

  BERKIN: Raff, you just made every woman and gay man in America swoon. You certainly have caught many people’s attention and imagination. How did you become the man you are today? Tell us about your parents.

  RIVERA: I don’t know much about them, honestly, except that they were a very young alpha and omega couple who weren’t ready to be parents. I’ve never been in contact with them.

  [IMAGE: Two-year-old Rivera, smiling.]

  BERKIN: Young Raff entered the foster care system at the age of one week, after a brief hospitalization for jaundice. His parents were only sixteen years old when the baby was born. Raff’s first foster mother was a nurse who cared for infants on a short-term basis until a more permanent home could be found.

  RIVERA: Alphas can be hard to place, and it was worse in 1985 before the equality movement brought alphas and omegas into the light. People feared that we were difficult, headstrong and violent, even as children.

  BERKIN: How many foster homes do you remember being in, Raff?

  RIVERA: [four-second pause] I remember thirteen, starting from when I was four. My first memories.

  BERKIN: And when was your last placement?

  RIVERA: At twelve, I was placed in a group home for teenagers, so I count that as my thirteenth.

  BERKIN: According to the records, Rivera was actually placed in nineteen homes, six of which were during the first four years of his life.

  [IMAGE: Four-year-old Rivera, smiling.]

  RIVERA: I was lucky. There was never any abuse. You hear about that at times. My foster parents were always kind, if not warm. But there was no security. I was big, and parents were afraid that I would hurt their biological children or younger foster kids. So I kept my bags packed.

  BERKIN: That sounds lonely.

  RIVERA: It was. And then I was assigned to the group home, with all older boys, and suddenly I had a family. A family of teenage boys. It was fun. Smelly. [laughter] They really became my brothers during the four years I was there.

  BERKIN: How so?

  RIVERA: We looked after each other. We celebrated each other’s birthdays, in the little, cheap ways that we could. The older ones taught the younger ones what they knew about life, and then the younger ones passed that along when it was their turn.

  BERKIN: Tell me about the birthday celebrations. That sounds wonderful.

  RIVERA: Nothing fancy, but very meaningful. We had caretakers that stayed with us in shifts; they looked after us and made our meals. The caretakers would make us a box cake with candles, and we would dig through our belongings and choose gifts for the birthday boy. So for my thirteenth birthday, I remember, I got a sheet of stickers, a really nice t-shirt, some handmade cards, a few pieces of candy. It was the best birthday I’d ever had. And since I was a teenager, I got beer.

  BERKIN: How did that happen?

  RIVERA: The older boys who had aged out of the system would bring it to us. We drank it late at night after the caretaker went to sleep.

  BERKIN: Thus, according to Rivera, began four years of alcoholism, when, like many of the boys he lived with, Raff relied on the comforts of alcohol to get him through the day.

  [IMAGE: Rivera and other youth, c. 1999.]

  Did you drink every night, Raff?

  RIVERA: Probably. [laughter] When we had it. I became an emancipated minor when I turned sixteen, and then I had easier access. Guys at work who’d buy beer for me, or stronger stuff.

  BERKIN: In the early morning hours of November 23, 2001, the day after at the age of sixteen, Raff Rivera finished his night of drinking in a bar not far from his home, got on his motorcycle, and headed toward his apartment, two miles away. He didn’t make it.

  [IMAGE: Motorcycle and car wreckage.]

  What do you remember, Raff?

  RIVERA: I remember driving home on my bike. I am certain I was drunk, but I didn’t think I was. The term I would have used back then was “buzzed”. The next thing I remember was waking up in the ambulance, and then being told that I had seriously hurt another man.

  BERKIN: By all accounts, you were a sensitive young man. How did you react to that information?

  RIVERA: Shame; guilt; heartbreak.

  BERKIN: The judge refused to charge Rivera as an adult, even though he was legally emancipated. He considered the fact that Rivera grew up without guidance and decided to seal his records. The judge received harsh criticism and resounding acclaim from the legal community when he sentenced Rivera to community service, AA meetings, and to one year . . . of spending time with the man who was paralyzed in the accident, Samuel Carlyle.

  SAMUEL CARLYLE: I woke up in the hospital. I don’t remember anything from about five days before to five days after the accident. My first thought was, “Where the [CENSORED] am I?” and my second was “What the [CENSORED] is wrong with my legs?” Wait, can I swear?

  [IMAGE: Carlyle and Rivera in hospital, 2001]

  BERKIN: Go for it. How did you feel about Raff’s sentence?

  CARLYLE: I was angry. I felt like I was the one being punished. I had to deal with that little [CENSORED] every [CENSORED] day.

  RIVERA: It was hard, yeah. I wanted to make it better, and I couldn’t. And I was torn between wanting to be damned and wanting to be forgiven.

  BERKIN: Raff’s last drink was the one he took shortly before the accident. He found logic and comfort in the addiction-recovery meetings that the judge assigned, and a new group of friends, fellow motorcycle enthusiasts who supported each other in sobriety.

  RIVERA: I still had my old friends, though. They’d been through thick and thin with me.

  BERKIN: They were your brothers.

  RIVERA: My brothers.

  BERKIN: And some of your brothers were art thieves.

  [VIDEO CLIP: State of New York v. Rivera, 2008.]

  RIVERA: As it turns out, they were. I tried to be a good guy, follow the rules, stay out of trouble, but I also wasn’t about to narc on the men that had my back since I was twelve.

  BERKIN: This became Raff Rivera’s first fifteen-minutes of fame, but you viewers already know that. Rivera was accused and charged with grand larceny; of stealing an oil painting by the French artist Merelda Mercier. He was found not guilty, of course, and soon his handsome form was on the cover of everything from the New York Daily News to the National Enquirer.

  Now Raff, is it true that you dated Lance Bass?

  RIVERA: [laughter] No, I’ve never even met him.

  BERKIN: Ricky Martin?

  RIVERA: Never met Mr. Martin either.

  BERKIN: What about Zachary Quinto?

  RIVERA: [laughter] Never dated Zachary Quinto.

  BERKIN: There were rumors that you dated all these men. Not true?

  RIVERA: Not true. In fact, Chris was my first boyfriend.

  [IMAGE: Rivera and Chris Chambers, wedding photo, 2012]

  BERKIN: In a story that’s not quite straight out of a fairytale, Raff began dating a member of his defense team, Christopher Chambers, just a year after he was acquitted.

  [VIDEO CLIP: Rivera and Chambers in their home, preparing dinner with daughter.]

  Four years after their first date, Raff and Chris were married. Chris, how certain were you that Raff was innocent?

  CHAMBERS: At first? [laughter] Not at all. Not certain. But after I got to know him, there was no doubt in my mind. He’s the best person I know.

  BERKIN: Now with one beautiful little girl and another baby on the way, Raff and Chris seem to have the perfect life. Chris continues to practice law; Raff is a stay-at-home father who works part-time at a Brooklyn rehabilitation facility. They summer in Alaska, where they ride motorcycles and have an active social life. Perfect, right?

  RIVERA: Not exactly. [laughter] When Trick Daniels was on trial for the painting—

  BERKIN: The same painting that you were charged with stealing and then acquitted.
>
  RIVERA: Right. We were in Alaska, and constantly swarmed by paparazzi, and then there was another wreck.

  [IMAGE: Damaged motorcycle]

  I’m good now. Still recovering.

  BERKIN: And Trick Daniels was found guilty. How does it feel to be vindicated? To truly have your name cleared.

  RIVERA: I’m not sure that it has been cleared. Not in the court of public opinion. People will believe what they want to believe, like that I got off on technicalities, that there just wasn’t enough evidence. Some of my relationships have . . . changed.

  BERKIN: What relationships have not changed?

  RIVERA: Chris never doubted me. And there’s Elizabeth, of course. She believes in her Papa. [laughter] My best friend, Sam Carlyle. And the people that I work with at the rehab centers in Brooklyn and Alaska.

  [VIDEO CLIP: Dr. Melnick in Brooklyn Rehab Center]

  DR. IRA MELNICK: I’m Ira Melnick, the head physician at Brooklyn Recovery. We aren’t a fancy center, we’re no Passages, but we’re dedicated to helping as many people as we can overcome their addictions. Our director, Rafael Rivera, uses his firsthand knowledge of the struggle to make sure that our facility meets the patients’ needs. So, for example, over here, we have a small gym and yoga studio so the patients can work on their physical well-being. Sometimes yoga is held in the courtyard, when the weather is nice. We have delicious, healthy food. I eat at the cafeteria every day, myself. And here’s our wall of fame. Former patients who want to can write a note of appreciation or triumph or hope, and stick it up here before they leave.

  BERKIN: How does it feel to know you’ve made a difference in other people’s lives?

  RIVERA: They’re the ones who do the heavy lifting. I’m just there to lend a hand when they need it.

  BERKIN: I’d like to read a few of these letters, if I may.

  RIVERA: Sure.

  BERKIN: I’ll keep them anonymous. This one says, “I felt like a puddle of nothing when I got to Brooklyn Recovery. Raff told me I was wrong, I wasn’t nothing, and I was capable of recovery. He told me that even if I didn’t believe in myself yet, he would believe for me, until I was ready. I’ve been sober for sixty days now, and I believe in myself.” How does that feel?