Binding the Shadows

by Jenn Bennett

  “A goddess? Do I have a god inside me? Is there such a thing in the Æthyr?”

  “Not in the Æthyr, but maybe on anther plane.”

  My occult order believed in a multitude of planes, many without names. The Æthyr was merely the nearest one to ours, metaphysically speaking.

  Priya exhaled loudly through his nose. “But from the way your mother speaks, I believe that you are something altogether new. She has not invoked the spirit of an old god inside you. She has worked like a surgeon to piece together magicks and create a new being.”

  It took several moments to sink in. “So I don’t have another being inside me?”

  “You are something new that has never been seen.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut in despair.

  “My concern is for your immediate safety,” Priya said. “If the Moonchild part of you is strengthening, and your mother’s control over you with it, then you need to find a way to stop it from developing. Or a way to unmake it.”

  I thought of what I saw when I was poking around inside Yvonne. “If the spell she used to create me is like the spell to create Earthbounds, it is impossible. Demon souls are fused inside human bodies. I can’t get rid of the Moonchild part of me unless I kill myself.”

  He grasped my shoulders firmly. “You are not like the Kerubs. You are something very different. All magick can be unmade, or at least lessened. Start with the ritual your parents used to conceive you and work backwards.”

  “I don’t know the spell! No one in my order knows it. They kept it secret. The only person who knew about it is dead. It’s lost—gone.”

  “They did not invent the ritual,” Priya said softly. “They found it somewhere. Go to your order. Trace their path. Find the ritual. Once you have it, I am certain that we can uncover a way to undo what has been done or, at the very least, cut her bond to you.”

  A growing hopelessness weighed me down. I wanted it all to go away. I wanted the small life I’d built. I wanted to be me.

  I just didn’t know who that was anymore.

  “This is impossible,” I whispered.

  “Nothing is impossible, especially for you. You will find a way. And I will help you. I will be your scout, and I will help to protect those you love. The demon boy that is bound to you, I can feel his bond. I can appear to him as I appear to you. If he is in danger, I will cross the veil to protect him. Show him my sigil. He can call me.”

  “Oh, God.”

  “But you must act quickly. She has bragged that her connection to you may be strong enough in a matter of days or weeks.”

  “Strong enough for what?”

  Priya’s bare torso crackled.

  “No, no, no!” I cried. “Don’t leave me. I need you.”

  “I cannot stay.”

  “What if she finds you? She’ll hurt you, too.”

  “I am careful. At the moment she does not know I am alive or that we have bonded again. I have a new body. It is serving me well. But it does not serve me here, and I must leave.” His wings snapped open, blocking out the filtered moonlight. All I could see were two glossy eyes and the silver glint of his teeth. “Sleep in the daytime only. Do not relax your guard at night. Steel your emotions. Learn to hide your thoughts and create lies in your head—if she manages to connect with you again, you will need that skill before you find the Moonchild ritual.”

  “Priya!”

  “You need magical protection from her,” he insisted. “Go to your order. If they cannot help you solve the problem, their magicians can shield you until we can find a solution. I will return.” Without another word, he snapped away, disappearing in front of my face. Leaving me alone.

  Alone and faced with the abysmal thought of going into hiding again.

  I was a fool to think I could ever stop running.

  I could never have a normal life. Everything I had was lost before I ever found it.

  I didn’t go back to sleep that night. Instead, I walked the meandering road down Lon’s cliff, past Mr. and Mrs. Holiday’s cabin, to the beach. Foxglove kindly escorted me. I watched her sleek Labrador body exploring the driftwood-strewn sand as I sat on some big rocks where Lon and Jupe and I had once built a small bonfire. And I thought.

  And thought.

  I remembered my parents talking about some old grimoires they’d found in France that contained the ritual they used to conceive me. God only knew where those books were now. Destroyed, maybe. Brought over to the states? My occult order had taken over my parents’ house in Florida after I’d let Nivella take them to the Æthyr. Maybe the Caliph had found something in the house that could be helpful.

  It was all such a fucking long shot.

  But what else could I do? Sit around until I eventually hurt someone I cared about?

  Then I thought of Dare. I couldn’t just run off to Florida and leave Lon and Jupe unprotected when that man was going around killing people who’ve looked at him crooked.

  Couldn’t stay. Couldn’t leave. I didn’t know what I was going to do.

  I sat thinking for hours. At some point before dawn, Foxglove ran back up the beach path toward the house and returned a couple of minutes later with Lon. I watched his fiery halo flickering across the dark beach as he approached. When he caught up to me, he sat down on the rock next to me. He didn’t ask me why I was out there. He merely pulled me into his arms and said, “Show me what’s wrong and we will fix it.”

  • • •

  Daylight crept over the beach. Feeling fairly confident I was out of my mom’s foul reach, Lon and I made the trek back up to the house. We hadn’t solved my problem, but at least Lon knew everything. And at that point I was exhausted and spent, and knew I needed to force myself to get rest sometime that day if I was going to stay up all night. I’d watched enough Freddy Krueger movies with Jupe to know that sleep depravation always came back to bite you on the ass.

  “Get in bed and sleep,” Lon said. “Rose and Adella will be back from the hospital in a few hours. I need to get some work done, but I’ll come upstairs and wake you when they come.”

  I rummaged in my pocket and handed him the medicinal I’d given Jupe. “If he’s got a hangover, give him another drop of this in some water. Or crushed ice, if he’s throwing up.”

  He kissed my forehead. “I’ll handle him. Go to sleep.”

  Amazingly enough, I eventually did.

  I woke on my own around three. Rose and Adella showed up as I was getting out of the shower. Mr. and Mrs. Holiday were buzzing around the house as well—I could hear Mr. Holiday teasing Jupe in the living room about making him some disgusting hair of the dog drink with raw eggs.

  Normalcy had never sounded so good.

  Once I rejoined the group, I found out Yvonne would be released from the hospital that afternoon. Her concussion was okay. No permanent damage. A small relief to the lingering guilt I harbored. Rose and Adella were flying Yvonne back home with them to Portland. She was going to stay with her mother for a few weeks. As long as Rose had the Solomon ring, I supposed she was safe from Yvonne’s knack, or what remained of it. I spoke to her alone while Lon was helping Adella pack.

  “You good?” I asked her. “Need any help?”

  Rose pushed her glasses higher on her nose. The Solomon ring was loose around her index finger. “We’re going to retrieve Yvonne’s clothes from the hotel, then pick her up from the hospital on the way to the Morella airport.”

  “Doctor says it’s okay for her to fly after the concussion?”

  “Mick did some healing on her this morning. Scans look fine, so he said it’s okay. Will you be riding out to the city with us?”

  Yvonne was the last person I wanted to see right now. “Probably not. My business partner’s coming over, and I’ve got some things to take care of.”

  She nodded. “I wanted to thank you for what you did. Lon told me that you put yourself in danger by doing that to Yvonne. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have asked you if I knew.”

  After the dre
am talk with my mother, I now wondered if she was tapped into me during my metaphysical surgery on Yvonne, but what was done, was done. “I just hope you don’t regret asking.”

  “Not one bit.” She grasped my hands. Her fingers were firm around mine. “I still don’t know if Yvonne can be saved, but you improved her chances, and I’ll always be grateful for that, no matter what happens. And if there’s ever anything I can do to repay you, please tell me. Because if you’re Lon’s family, you’re my family.”

  If I hadn’t spent half the night emptying myself of tears, I would’ve cried. But as it was, all I could manage was a “thank you.” My early impressions of her had completely faded. I saw her as Lon did now, I supposed: strong, stubborn, beautiful, and utterly dedicated to her family. She was a good mom. I’d trade her for mine in a heartbeat.

  Jupe appeared on the back patio and came inside through sliding glass doors.

  “How you feeling?” I asked.

  “Stupid.”

  I smiled at him.

  “When are we leaving for the airport, Gramma?”

  “Soon. Need to be there in a couple of hours.”

  Which didn’t give me much time—a little over an hour before the sun would set, and I had things to do. I stopped Jupe on his way upstairs. “Can I talk to you? In private.”

  Rose held up her hands. “Don’t let me stop you.”

  I mumbled my thanks and led Jupe to the front door. “Here,” I said, snagging his army green field coat off a hook on the way out. “It’s cold.”

  He slipped it on as we marched down the driveway under a dreary afternoon sky. I counted our steps as we went. “You’re already way out of her range, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jupe said.

  “Just making sure.”

  “Is this about last night?” Jupe said in a low voice.

  I shook my head as the sound of a car drew our attention to the side gate. “Crap. Kar Yee.”

  “Kar Yee?” he said, but his excitement soon sputtered. “Does she know about last night? You didn’t tell her, did you?”

  “I didn’t tell her, don’t worry.”

  She sped down the side road and pulled into the circular driveway behind the Giovanni’s rental car. When she spotted us, she waved a hand and headed our way. “Nice digs, future boyfriend. I almost got lost on the mountain trying to find your secret back road.”

  He grinned goofily. “I’m glad you’re all healed up now.”

  “Me too. Good as gold,” she said, pinging her collarbone with her fingers. She reached into her jacket and pulled out a red envelope. “This is for you,” she said, handing it to Jupe.

  “Me?”

  “It’s movie passes,” she said before he even had a chance to open it. “No big deal.” She was mildly embarrassed. “You did that stuff for the Tambuku website, and I really liked that opera figure. It was sweet. You’re a good kid.”

  Jupe’s breath came a little faster through his open mouth. “Oh, man. That’s cool. Thanks.”

  “No big deal,” she insisted again. “What’s up with you, by the way? Your halo looks sick.”

  Jupe’s mouth twisted. “Uh . . .”

  “Probably just a getting a cold or something,” I offered.

  “Yeah,” he said, sneaking me a grateful look. “Probably just that.”

  She nodded and tilted her chin my way. “You’ve got news about that Telly kid?”

  I waffled.

  “You want me to leave?” Jupe asked me. “I will if you want, but whatever it is, I won’t freak out. Dad said you guys had a terrible night.”

  “We did. But actually, I want to tell you both something that’s more important than that, and now’s as good a time as any.” The tears I didn’t think I had anymore were already brimming.

  “What’s wrong?” Kar Yee asked.

  “I need to confess something important.”

  Jupe looked at Kar Yee, confused. She shrugged her shoulders in answer.

  Here goes nothing, I thought. “It’s a secret I’ve been keeping.” I looked at Jupe. “Only your dad knows, and a couple of other people.”

  “As many secrets as you’ve got, this should be good,” Kar Yee said. “I’m all ears.”

  Jupe pushed curls away from his face, an awkward movement. I was making him nervous. Hell, I was making myself nervous. This was so much easier when I’d first told Lon. Then again, he’d drugged me into spilling the beans. I wished I could drug myself now.

  “You know how I’ve told you that my parents were bad people?” I said to Jupe.

  He nodded.

  “They were way worse than your mom could ever dream of being. And I need to tell you both who they really were.”

  “Okay.” He was definitely nervous now. Kar Yee, too.

  “Are you familiar with the Black Lodge Slayings?”

  Jupe’s face twisted. “Uh . . . what? Oh!” Something clicked in his head. “The serial killers. The satanic murders of those occultists, or whatever. The Duvets or something.”

  “Duval. Enola and Alexander Duval.”

  “Yeah,” Jupe said, brightening. “They were on the news a few months ago. They’re supposed to be dead, but they were on that parking garage footage.”

  “Oh, that’s right,” Kar Yee said. “I know who you’re talking about. The murders were all over talk shows back when we were in college.”

  I waited for them to start piecing things together.

  “No,” Kar Yee said, her jaw dropping in shock.

  Jupe shifted uncomfortably. His mouth tightened to a thin line. Breath quickened through his nostrils. “Your parents . . .”

  “Were killers. I didn’t know at the time. I thought they were innocent. We all faked our deaths and separated. I’ve been living on my own since I was seventeen under this name.” I looked at Kar Yee. “I met you about a year after it happened.”

  She said nothing. Just stared at me, frozen.

  “I only saw them a few times all those years. And I believed they’d been framed. But then they got spotted on that parking tape and made the news.” I nodded toward Jupe. “That’s when I met your dad.”

  “That’s why he was helping you?” His voice wavered.

  Even then, at that moment, I wanted to lie to him. Tell him I was kidding. Tell him everything was fine and that there was no cause for alarm. But I pushed past it and said, “Yeah. I thought he was going to help me prove their innocence, but we ended up finding out they were guilty.”

  Kar Yee still said nothing. Jupe shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Arcadia Bell is a fake name?”

  “An alias. I’ve been using it since I was a teenager.”

  “What’s your real name?”

  “It’s Cady,” I insisted as a hot tear fell down my cheek. “I don’t want you to ever think of me as anyone but Cady. No one calls me by my old name. I hate it. I wish I could erase everything from my old life.”

  A slow breeze fluttered his curls. “How long has my dad known?”

  “Since before I came over that first night and met you.”

  “He knew, and he still let you come over here?”

  I nodded.

  “If he trusted you and he barely even knew you,” Jupe reasoned, “then he could tell you were okay.”

  “I suppose.”

  “You told me your parents were dead in college,” Kar Yee said. “Then you told me a few months ago that they’d died when you went to San Diego. Now you’re telling me that they faked their deaths?”

  “I really did think they were dead a few months ago,” I argued. “A powerful Æthyric demon took them into the Æthyr. I thought it was safe to assume she’d kill both of them. She killed my dad, but my mom is still alive. Alive there.”

  “Alive on the demon plane?” Jupe said.

  “Yes. And there’s more, unfortunately.”

  I told them everything about the Moonchild powers. The things I could do. About the tail. Jupe listened earnestly, elbows pressed tig
ht against his ribs, every muscle in his jaw flexing. Kar Yee was silent and unreadable at first, but became increasingly distressed. I didn’t stop talking until I’d spilled everything. And then I waited for their reaction.

  No one said anything for a long moment.

  Kar Yee stared at the ground, unable to meet my gaze. “You lied to me all these years. I gave you a million chances to tell me the truth, but you jump into bed with some guy and tell him?”

  “Lon’s not ‘some guy,’ and—”

  “I don’t want to hear it,” she shouted, finally looking me in the eye. “I don’t need your excuses.”

  My chest tightened. “I know.”

  “You could’ve trusted me. Why didn’t you trust me?”

  “I’m sorry. It was hard for me to trust anyone. I thought I was protecting them. Me. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

  She threw up her hands and paced in a circle. “You are living with an illegal name? We share a business! If you get in trouble with the law—”

  “I’ve been careful.”

  “I don’t care.” Tears brimmed. Hers hands were fists. “Partners don’t lie to each other. If you can’t trust me enough to confide in me, then you shouldn’t be running a business with me.”

  “Kar Yee—”

  “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” She spun around and marched back toward her car.

  “Please stay,” I called after her. “I need to talk to you about it.”

  “And I need to go to Tambuku, because one of us has to get it running again.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  “Don’t bother.” She got in her car and slammed the door.

  That didn’t go well. Not that I thought it would, but it still stung. And it wasn’t over. Jupe stood silent, staring at the dust Kar Yee’s wheels kicked up as she sped away. When he turned to look at me, he wore a pained expression. He almost looked like he was about to cry.

  “Please don’t be scared of me,” I said. “I’m still me. I still care about you as much as I did yesterday.”

  “I’m not scared,” he said.

  I nodded, hoping that was true.