Spy Away Home (The Never Say Spy Series Book 10)

by Diane Henders

  “Y-Yeah.” Violent shivers shook me. “W-warming up. Sh-shivering like hell now.”

  “That’s a good sign. When the shivering stops you’re in trouble.”

  “Y-yeah.” I clamped my chattering teeth together for a moment before prying them apart to add, “S-sorry I shot at you. I d-didn’t expect you out there.”

  He shot me a worried look. “I can’t believe you missed. I’ve never seen you miss a target.”

  “I realized it w-was you at the last s-second.” I clamped my arms around myself as a particularly fierce shivering fit seized me. “T-too late to stop f-firing, b-but I p-pulled the shot. Wh-wh…” I stopped and shivered some more. “Wh-what the h-hell were you d-doing out there?”

  “Hellhound called me.” Kane turned onto the highway and accelerated toward Silverside. “He’d been trying to call you but couldn’t get an answer on either of your phones. He was afraid something had happened. I called Sirius but…” He grimaced. “They wouldn’t tell me if they’d seen anything on your surveillance cameras because I’m suspended. So I drove out to see if your car was home, but all the windows were covered in your garage. I was just getting ready to pick the lock when I heard screaming. I thought you were being attacked. I got to you as fast as I could.”

  He glanced over, his frown accusing. “What were you doing out there? Why were you screaming? And why didn’t you answer your phone?”

  I sighed. “L-Like I said; long s-story.” I drew a long breath and fought my chattering teeth to a standstill. “May I borrow your phone? I’ll call Hellhound and you can listen in. That way I’ll only have to tell it once.”

  Kane nodded and punched in his passcode one-handed before handing me the phone. When I dialled Hellhound’s number he answered on the first ring.

  “Did ya find her?”

  “Hi, Arnie, it’s me.”

  “Aydan! Jesus Christ, ya scared the shit outta me! Are ya okay? Where were ya? How come ya didn’t answer your phones?”

  “I’m sorry you were worried, Arnie. I’m okay.” I slumped in the seat, certain I should be feeling guilty but too tired to feel anything. My ears still pulsed with the din of gunshots and thunder, and everything felt distant. “Another guy tried to abduct me from my garage tonight. I… He… d-died.” I drew a breath. “I had to wait for the cleanup crew. I’d taken off my waist pouch so I didn’t have my phone on me. And then I… d-decided to sleep in the woods… but…” My voice faded.

  Words were so cumbersome. And I was so damn tired.

  “Aydan?” Hellhound still sounded worried. “Come on, darlin’, talk to me.”

  “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I’m just cold and tired. Be okay tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” His rasp softened to a gentle rumble. “That’s okay, Aydan, don’t worry about it. Is Kane there with ya?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Put him on, would ya, darlin’? An’ just take it easy. Everythin’s gonna be okay.”

  I slumped deeper in the seat, my eyelids drooping. “Thanks, Arnie. ‘Bye.” I held the phone in Kane’s direction without looking up. “He wants to talk to you.”

  Kane appropriated the phone. “Hello?” He listened for a moment, then replied, “No, nothing more than what she just told you.” A pause. “I think she will be. She was borderline hypothermic when I found her but she’s warming up now… Yes, out in the woods. She had a shelter but it was in tatters and her sleeping bag was soaked…” His voice was beginning to fade as sleep overcame me.

  “Aydan!”

  I jerked upright. “Christ! What?”

  “Don’t go to sleep,” Kane warned.

  “Not sleeping.” I patted my racing heart, and the momentary adrenaline jolt dissipated quickly. Kane’s voice faded again as my eyelids drooped. I fought slumber, his words blurring together until his ‘goodbye’ roused me.

  A moment later the drumming of the rain on the vehicle cut off as we rolled into Kane’s garage. I drew a breath of relief, the sound loud in the sudden silence. Or maybe that was just my hearing coming back.

  “Can you make it to the house?” Kane asked.

  “Yeah. I’m okay.” I unbuckled the seat belt with cold clumsy hands and dragged myself out of the SUV to balance on legs that felt too weak to hold my weight.

  Tottering out into the rain again felt even worse after fifteen minutes of comparative warmth, and Kane’s arm around me did nothing to ease my shivering.

  Inside, I stooped to remove my boots and nearly toppled over.

  “Come on,” Kane urged, half carrying me down the hall.

  “W-wait, I’m d-dripping all over…”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He propelled me around the corner into the bathroom and turned on the shower. “Take off your weapons,” he commanded, and after a moment of dull incomprehension I fumbled my Glock and trank pistol out and laid them on the vanity. Kane did the same with his Sig while I stood shivering dumbly. Then he dipped his hand under the spray and gave a satisfied nod. Wrapping his arms around me, he stepped us both under the hot spray and swung the door shut behind us.

  I yelped and tried to jump out of range as the water seared my scalp, but Kane held me fast.

  “It’s not that hot,” he comforted. “You’re just that cold.”

  He pulled me closer, tucking his head down beside mine so the water ran over both of us. He was still shivering, too, and I tightened my arms around him.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled into his soggy T-shirt. “Thanks for finding me.”

  “You’re welcome. Now,” he said against my cheek, “Do you want to tell me what really happened?”

  Defensive caution levelled my voice. “Just what I told you. Some guy attacked me. By the time it was all cleaned up I was exhausted and I didn’t want to sleep with one ear open so I moved out to where I knew nobody would look.” I grimaced into his shoulder. “It would have been a better hiding place if I hadn’t had a screaming nightmare. And it would have been a lot more comfortable if the weather gods hadn’t decided to take a shit on me.”

  Kane pulled away far enough to give me a searching look while he worked the jackets off my shoulders to drop with a splat to the floor of the shower. “Why didn’t you call me if you were afraid to be alone?” he asked. “You could have stayed here, or I would have come out to stay with you.”

  I was saved from an immediate reply when he lifted the hem of my sweatshirt and pulled it over my head. Sputtering, I emerged from its sodden confines and back into the spray from the shower head.

  “I thought…” I began, but my brain short-circuited when he pulled off his T-shirt, revealing that spectacular upper body. I was fighting the urge to lick the water droplets off his bulging pecs and work my way down to the corrugated abs below when he reached for the hem of my T-shirt and lifted it off.

  “… uh…” I added not-too-usefully as I emerged from the dripping fabric.

  His gaze stayed above my shoulders. “You thought what?”

  Sweet Jesus, he was undoing his jeans.

  “…uh…” I repeated. “I thought, um…”

  He peeled off the jeans and stepped out of them, pushing them into the corner of the shower with one foot.

  Nothing left but those hip-hugging black briefs.

  His hips weren’t the only thing they were hugging. I wrenched my gaze back up to his face, but not before noting that he was packing some serious hardware. Ready for immediate use, according to my hasty but gratifying assessment.

  “You were saying…?” he inquired as he reached for the button on my jeans.

  “Uh…”

  He knelt in front of me, working the wet clinging fabric down my legs. The spray blasted off the broad expanse of his back, water running in rivulets down the muscled groove of his backbone. The medium-grade sandpaper of his five o’clock shadow brushed my thigh, and my breath short-circuited right along with my brain.

  Suddenly it seemed extra hot and steamy in the shower. I shivered for a different reason.

&n
bsp; Kane stood again, holding eye contact, but I was pretty sure he’d noticed my leopard-print bra and thong. He seemed to be breathing pretty rapidly for a guy in top physical condition.

  Exerting every ounce of my willpower, I managed not to turn around and bend over to pick up some non-existent soap.

  I cleared my throat. “Uh, I didn’t want to bother you.”

  He made a gesture of frustration, his hand clenching on air before dropping to his side. “Dammit, Aydan, we’re friends! At least trust me enough to ask for help when you need it!”

  Fighting the memory of how safe I’d felt with his hand on my cheek while the storm roared around us, I snapped, “I didn’t need help. I’d have made it on my own.”

  He stared down at me for a moment. “Well, let me know if you ever want it,” he said quietly. “Help yourself to the soap and shampoo. I’ll leave clean towels outside the door.”

  He stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist, and closed the bathroom door behind him, leaving me alone with mounds of soggy clothing and a large helping of regret.

  Chapter 33

  By the time I emerged from Kane’s shower I was barely functional. Somewhere between the soap and the shampoo my arousal had dissolved and gurgled down the drain, leaving nothing but an empty husk. If I had still been capable of feeling anything at all, I would have been grateful for the absence of emotion.

  Wringing out the sodden clothes was more effort than I could muster, so I heaped them in the shower and trod all over them to squeeze out as much water as possible.

  A couple of folded towels lay on the floor outside the door as promised, and I dried off and wrapped my hair and body in them before padding barefoot down the hall.

  Kane stepped out of his den fully dressed, still keeping his gaze on my face. “Better?” he inquired.

  “Yes. Thanks.”

  Talking was so much work. I just wanted to sink into the silence inside my soul.

  I forced myself to make the effort. “I squeezed out our clothes as much as I could, but they’re still in the shower stall, soaking wet.”

  “I’ll put them in the dryer.” He made no move toward the bathroom. “I made you a cup of hot chocolate. It’s on the island in the kitchen.”

  “Thanks.” Even the thought of hot chocolate didn’t appeal. I pushed more words out of my mouth. “Do you have sweats and a T-shirt I can borrow? If you’ll just drop me at home, I’ll wash your clothes and bring them back tomorrow.”

  “No.”

  I blinked stupidly. “What do you mean, no? I know you have sweats.”

  Kane frowned down at me. “I meant, no; I’m not going to take you home. If you’re afraid to sleep in your house and your campsite is wrecked, what are you planning to do?”

  “I… I don’t know. I’ll figure something out…”

  “Aydan, for God’s sake!” His sudden bark startled me despite my lethargy. “Why won’t you just let me protect you? Just once? Why do you have to be so goddamn bull-headed?”

  His raised voice did it.

  I had always imagined that when I finally broke, it would be a violent shattering.

  It wasn’t.

  It was small and quiet, the barely audible ping of a single glass filament snapping. I reached for my usual anger and found nothing. Only the sound of distant screams fading into oblivion.

  I stood frozen for a long moment while everything crumbled to dust inside me.

  Nothing left.

  Empty.

  I spoke in the voice of a stranger.

  “Okay.”

  Kane was getting ready to speak again, and my single quiet word obviously threw him. He blinked. “What?”

  “Okay. You win.”

  “Wh…?” He blinked again, visibly shifting gears. “All right. Good. You’ll stay here tonight then?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right…” He sounded tentative, thrown off-balance by my lack of resistance. “Uh… you can have the bed, and I’ll sleep on the couch…”

  Too tired to fight the inevitable. Just give in.

  My voice came out steady but still not quite my own. “I’d rather share the bed with you.”

  His eyes dilated, his hot gaze sweeping up my legs and lingering on my towel.

  “Aydan…” He jerked his gaze up to my face again. “No, I’m sorry. For my own sanity I can’t. I need to get my head straight, and the only way I can do that is to keep things platonic between us until you’re ready to discuss commitment.”

  Give him what he wants. Don’t be a cold selfish bitch.

  “I’m ready.”

  My words hung in the heavy silence. Kane’s jaw-dangling stare would have been comical if I’d been capable of feeling anything.

  The terrified screaming started again in the back of my brain. No-no-no-no…

  Shut up. Too late for that.

  After a long silence, Kane cleared his throat. “Aydan… I don’t want you to rush into this. You’ve been through a lot lately…”

  Now or later; it didn’t matter. It would end the same.

  I smothered the screamer. Shoved a pillow over her face until she choked into silence, then jammed her corpse down into the cold abyss that held the last shards of my heart.

  “I’ve decided.” My voice was firm and emotionless. “I’ll commit to you. We can get married if you want. Or not, it’s up to you.”

  “Uh…”

  I’d never seen Kane at a loss for words before. Too bad I couldn’t enjoy it.

  He squared his shoulders, a cautious smile lighting his face. “All right. But we should talk about this…”

  Please, no more talking. Just let the silence take me.

  “In the morning.” I dropped my towel.

  “Aydan…”

  I stepped against him and silenced his protest with my mouth. His arms closed around me, tight and possessive, and I nearly jerked away in claustrophobic terror.

  No. Too late for that.

  I let my body melt against his hard contours.

  He broke the kiss to run hot hands down my back, pulling me closer still as if to merge our bodies into one.

  “Aydan,” he said hoarsely. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” the stranger replied with my mouth, and it was true.

  But not the truth.

  Kane’s lips met mine again, and I turned off all thoughts and fell into the safe mindlessness of sensation.

  His hands were gentle on my body, his kisses slow and tender. After a while he drew back to look down into my eyes. “I want you, Aydan,” he whispered. “God help me, I want you tonight, but I know you must be exhausted. You can just go to sleep if you want.” He smiled. “We have all the time in the world.”

  My heart twisted, one final feeble protest.

  I pulled him down so he couldn’t look into my eyes and whispered against his lips, “I want you, too. Take me to bed.”

  Hand in hand, we turned for the bedroom. Inside, he pulled me to him again, weaving his fingers through my hair while he kissed me softly and slowly. His grip tightened and I let him position my mouth where he wanted it, opening for his tongue and trying to lose myself in his skillful touch.

  He drew away a fraction, and I glimpsed a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes.

  Of course, dammit, he was used to me ripping his clothes off and flinging myself at him.

  Give him what he wants.

  I summoned the last of the strength in my aching body and sprang, pushing him onto the bed. When he landed on his back, grinning up at me, I swung astride and leaned down to kiss him with as much hunger as I could fake.

  He growled and flipped us over, pinning me to the bed with his weight. Smiling down at me, he rumbled, “Well, Ms. Kelly, I seem to have gained the upper hand here.”

  “You always do,” I said quietly. The uncertainty flickered in his eyes again, and I pushed a smile onto my face and bounced my hips playfully under him. “But that doesn’t mean you’re the boss. Stri
p for me, big fella.”

  A wicked grin lit his face. “Yes, ma’am.”

  He rose slowly, trailing his fingertips lightly down my body. I squirmed up in the bed to prop myself against the pillows, watching his eyes ignite when I tucked my arms behind my head and wriggled my hips into a more comfortable position.

  His gaze burning on mine, he ran a hand down his chest, bumping over his abs to find the hem of his T-shirt. His hips circled slowly and sensuously, raw power schooled into savage grace.

  Despite my exhaustion, slow heat kindled in my belly. I mirrored his gesture, gliding my hands over my breasts and down my thighs.

  His lips parted, his breath coming faster.

  He peeled off his T-shirt and tossed it into the corner of the bedroom, his gaze still devouring me.

  Licking my lips, I took in every perfectly-sculpted contour of his arms and torso. His washboard abs rippled with the movement of his hips, more forceful now; suggestion giving way to promise.

  His hands moved down to pop the button of his jeans, then to the zipper. Unhurriedly easing it down, he let his jeans fall open as he stretched toward the ceiling, a slow sexy flex and release of each muscle. The jeans rode lower on his circling hips and my breath caught at the first glimpse of black briefs.

  Grinning, he pushed the jeans down and stepped out of them in a move so swift and graceful I gasped all over again.

  As he straightened, my gaze snagged and held on the giant erection barely contained by thin black fabric.

  My heart gave a hard contraction and other muscles lower down followed suit.

  When I dragged my attention back up to Kane’s face, he was smiling, his eyes blazing hunger. “Ms. Kelly,” he rumbled. “The help wants to know… what do you want me to do next?”

  “Take them off,” I croaked.

  His hands slid down to his hips.

  His thumbs hooked under the elastic.

  My heart stopped beating as he teased down first one side, then the other.

  Then the briefs gave up the struggle and all that premium hardware sprang free. After a single light-headed moment I remembered to breathe again.

  He was magnificent. Even in the soft light of the bedside lamp, every muscle was chiseled to perfection. But the muscles faded to a pleasing backdrop as my gaze locked onto his most outstanding feature.