A few minutes later Jack arrived, her cheeks flushed pink but her eyes worried. “Sorry I’m late,” she said breathlessly. “The parade went a little longer than I expected and then I had to get the children off to their day home. I didn’t even take time to get them out of their clown costumes.” She smiled. “But it was okay; I didn’t feel quite so inadequate when I got to the day home and half the children there were still wearing their costumes, too.”
“Oh, that’s good,” I said mechanically, then hesitated. “Um, so, they had fun?”
“Oh, yes!” Her eyes sparkled. “Despite Tyler’s dreadful music. Fortunately his enunciation is so poor that his lyrics were completely unintelligible.”
“Good. You didn’t notice anything… unusual?”
“No…” She frowned. “Should I have? I thought I glimpsed you beside the horses before the parade, but when I turned back you were gone. And John was helping with the Little Clowns, but then he disappeared.”
“Yeah, he got called away on an emergency,” I said, giving Spider a warning look. No need to upset Jack.
Spider changed the subject. “Have you had a chance to think about Tammy while we’ve been gone?”
Jack’s brow furrowed. “I’ve thought of little else…” She hesitated. “Well, except Charles’s review. I’m worried about that, too. Their meeting is at three o’clock.”
“Well, there’s nothing we can do about that,” Spider said. “Did you come up with anything for Tammy?”
Jack sighed. “No. I’m afraid we’re searching for a solution that doesn’t exist. Did you have any luck?” She glanced at us each in turn.
Our dispirited ‘no’s plunged the room into gloomy silence.
A moment later the silence was broken by Brock’s spiteful voice as he poked his head in the door. “Well, if it isn’t the Three Stooges; Fairy, Surly, and Slow.” He nodded to Spider, me, and Jack in turn. “Why so glum? Did you just find out your precious Director is going to get shit-canned in an hour?”
Too drained to work up any amount of anger, I said, “Fuck off, Brock” without expression before adding, “At least now I see why you call your band The Flying Turnips. People must throw vegetables at you all the time.”
“It’s The Ballistic Rutabagas,” he hissed. “And I can hardly wait ‘til Dermott takes over. He’ll cut you down to size, bitch.”
I fixed him with a fishy eyeball. “I doubt it. He likes me. I make him laugh. You might want to keep that in mind the next time you’re tongueing his asshole.”
Jack’s hand flew to her lips with a small cry of revulsion, and Spider snickered.
I stood slowly, trying to emulate Kane’s threatening coefficient of expansion. “Now get lost. I’ve been called a bitch one too many times today and it’s starting to affect my sweet nature.”
“The truth hurts,” Brock needled, but at least he left.
I stood staring at the empty doorway, my fingers flexing by my side.
“Aydan…?” Spider inquired cautiously.
“He’ll never know how lucky he is that I’m too goddamn tired to rip his head off,” I muttered, and sat.
Spider sank his head into his hands again. “I should just quit right now. If I do, I won’t be facing disciplinary action and I might still get a good reference for a civilian job. And then I’d never have to see Brock again.”
I reached over to pat him on the shoulder. “No; buck up, Spider. We’ll figure something out. Now that I don’t have to be looking over my shoulder for assassins all the time I won’t be so messed up and tired…”
Oh, God. I’d only get an hour or two of sleep a night, after Kane got up in the mornings.
“…and I’ll be ready to deal with him,” I finished with determination.
Spider raised a hopeless countenance. “But it’s too late for Tammy.” He turned his wristwatch toward us. “It’s time to go to the meeting.”
Chapter 50
As Spider, Jack and I filed out of my office like a procession to the gallows, Jill and Tammy emerged from the elevator at the end of the hall. As usual, Tammy was hugging Jill’s arm and chattering nonstop.
Jill waved and smiled. “Hey, Aydan, you’re looking a lot better.”
“Thanks.” I gave her a grin, relieved all over again at the knowledge that she was unharmed. “Good job at the parade today.”
She shrugged. “All in a day’s work.”
“Not quite-” I began, but Tammy broke in.
“Hi, Aydan, how are you? I’m so glad we ran into you, it’s been ages and I’ve been so looking forward to working with you, but what does Jill mean, ‘you look better’? Were you sick? Oh, I hope not, being sick is just awful, isn’t it?”
For once she actually paused and waited for a reply. Her childlike eagerness wrenched my heart.
“Thanks, Tammy. No, I haven’t been sick,” I said. “But I was pretty funny-looking when Jill saw me earlier. I, um… got caught in a dust-devil and I was completely covered with dirt.”
She giggled. “Oh, that must have been funny! Are there many dust-devils around here?”
“Hardly any, thank goodness…” I began, but she was off and babbling again.
“Dust-devil is such a funny word, don’t you think? There are so many funny words, like brouhaha, isn’t that a funny word? And nincompoop and hoosegow, and flabby, and blubber and skedaddle and-”
“Ms. Mellor.” Stemp’s dry tone cut across her recitation. “Please excuse us, we’re just going into a meeting.”
I twitched violently. I hadn’t heard him coming up behind me.
Tammy beamed. “Oh, hello, Charles! I thought that sounded like your step. Of course I won’t hold you up, but I was just about to say how nice it is to have everybody here; I know Dr. Travers is here because her perfume is so beautiful and of course I’d know Spider anywhere; his shampoo smells like limes and ginger and it’s absolutely yummy, don’t ever change your shampoo, Spider-”
“Come on, Tammy,” Jill interrupted gently. “Let’s go and get started with Tyler.”
“Oh, yes!” Tammy gushed, turning her smile back to Jill. “I’ve been listening and listening to his Ballistic Rutabagas CD and do you know, I think I’m starting to like it just a little bit. And isn’t rutabaga a funny word, too?” Her voice faded as Jill walked her farther down the hall. “Did you know rutabaga is another name for turnip?” Tammy went on. “So Tyler’s band is like the Flying Turnips…”
“You should tell him that, Tammy,” my evil twin called down the hallway. “He’ll get a laugh out of it for sure!”
She turned, beaming. “Oh, do you think so? I’d love to make him laugh, he’s been so grumpy lately…”
“Um, no, maybe you’d better not,” I muttered guiltily. “It might hurt his feelings.”
“Oh.” Tammy looked downcast. “Well, then I won’t. But I thought it was funny, didn’t you?”
“Kelly.” Stemp’s dry tone saved me from replying.
I called, “See you later”, and slunk into the conference room, closing the door behind me. “Sorry,” I added as I took a seat. “I guess I’m overtired.”
Stemp made no comment, just leaned back in his chair and raked us with his flat gaze. “So. Recommendations regarding Ms. Mellor?”
Jack, Spider and I exchanged an unhappy glance. Spider perched at the edge of his chair, his bony fingers tangling in his lap.
Jack spoke up. “Well, Director, we’ve considered several options…”
While she laid out our thought processes and conclusions to date, I blessed her penchant for presenting everything as a scientific analysis.
Stall, Jack, stall…
Come on, brain, get with the program. There had to be something we’d missed; some simple solution…
“…so really,” Jack was concluding, “…our only remaining option is for Aydan to try to extract the relevant memories from Tammy’s mind.”
“And I refuse to do that without her consent,” Spider said tremulously.
>
A great light dawned in my brain.
“…so we have a suggestion,” I took over smoothly from Spider. “We’d like to ask Tammy’s opinion and let her decide. Up to now we haven’t been able to do that because we know she’ll blab anything we tell her, but if she chooses to let me edit her memories I can take away the memories of us explaining this to her, too.”
Spider and Jack stared at me open-mouthed. Stemp’s eyes narrowed. “And if she refuses?”
I sighed. “Then it’ll be one more piece of classified information she’ll take to the secured facility when she goes. We’ll just have to explain it to her so she understands she’s really got no alternative other than being imprisoned.”
“But, Aydan,” Jack said gently, “You don’t know if you can even edit her memories successfully. And in your current condition…” She paused, measuring my frazzled state with a clinical gaze before continuing, “I would strongly recommend against you attempting this.”
I pushed myself straighter in the chair. “If I have to do it, I’ll find a way.”
“Or you’ll destroy yourself trying,” Stemp said softly.
“Aydan, you can’t! Not when you’re so tired!” Spider’s hazel eyes were dark with worry. “Remember how awful it was last time; Kane had to drag you out of the sim and you were all torn up and bleeding…”
“That won’t happen,” I said, trying to convince myself as well as them. “And anyway…” I straightened, remembering Kane’s earlier suggestion. “…it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. I could do it a bit at a time. It wouldn’t be too bad if she just had to be in the secured facility for a little while, until I could be sure I’d gotten all the memories.”
“But with her full consent,” Spider put in, looking more hopeful than I’d seen him all week.
“Right.” I gave him a smile.
The three of us turned toward Stemp.
Stemp leaned back in his chair and eyed us, his expression unreadable as always.
“Very well,” he said at last. He picked up the phone and dialled. “Francis? Please bring Ms. Mellor to the conference room.”
In the silence after he hung up the phone, my mind raced. I should be able to delete the memories. Or better still, only the parts that referenced any classified information. She’d have a few gaps, but it might not be too bad.
But would Stemp make me start today?
It was all I could do to drag my own thoughts into some semblance of order. It would be criminally irresponsible to mess with Tammy’s mind right now.
And I hadn’t needed Spider to remind me of the last time I’d fought this battle in cyberspace. In my current condition, there was a pretty good chance it would kill me…
A tap on the door heralded Tammy’s arrival. Jill guided her in, then hesitated. Stemp nodded at a chair. “Please have a seat, Francis; Ms. Mellor.”
Jill smiled and sat next to Tammy.
Stemp turned to Spider. “Webb, please lay out your proposal to Ms. Mellor.”
Tammy sat forward in her seat, her head turning as though scanning the room. “Who’s here?” she asked. “Charles, and Spider…”
“I’m sorry,” Stemp apologized graciously. “Dr. Travers and Aydan Kelly are here, too. And Jill Francis, of course.”
“Oh, of course!” Tammy turned a beaming face toward Jill. “I can always count on my Jilly-bean!” She turned to face slightly to Spider’s left, apparently identifying him by scent but not certain exactly where he was. “What’s your proposal, Spider? Since you’re getting married in a few months, I’m sure it’s not a marriage proposal.” She giggled. “Isn’t that funny? I always think proposal is such a funny word because whenever you hear somebody say they’re going to propose it means marriage, but-”
“Let’s hear what Spider has to say,” Jill interrupted gently.
“Okey-dokey, Jilly-bean! My lips are zipped!” Tammy mimed zipping her lips.
Spider hesitated as if mistrusting her ability to actually stay silent, but after a moment he spoke. “Tammy, we’ve been thinking. It seems like we’re always bugging you to not tell certain things to people, and you must be tired of it. But it’s really important for you not to tell.” He darted an unhappy glance at Stemp’s impassive features. “In fact, it’s so important that…” Spider hesitated and swallowed. “…that you’re not going to be able to work here anymore unless we change some things. You’d have to go to live and work in a different building, one where it’s safe for you to say whatever you want.”
“Oh!” Tammy clutched Jill’s hand. “Not work here anymore? But I love it here! I love working with you and Tyler and Aydan and my Jilly-bean!”
“We like working with you, too, Tammy,” Spider said. “That’s why we want to try something different, if it’s okay with you. But we’ll need your permission.”
“Oh…” Tammy relaxed into a smile. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Whatever you want me to do, just tell me.”
Her naive trust made my stomach curdle with guilt.
Spider looked as sick as I felt. “This decision isn’t up to us,” he said gently. “It’ll be up to you. I’ll tell you what we have in mind, and you can say yes or no.”
“Okey-dokey!” She turned her radiant smile toward him. “Shoot, Spider.”
“We…” He glanced at me as if for moral support. “If it’s okay with you, we’d like to remove the memories that are classified. Take them out of your mind. That way you’d never have to worry about accidentally saying the wrong thing.”
“Remove…” Her smile dissolved into uncertainty and she reached for Jill’s hand again. “You mean… I wouldn’t remember anymore?”
“You’d still remember everything that’s not classified,” Spider reassured her. “We’d only take out the bits about the network and the work you’ve done here and some things Terry Sherman told you.”
She seemed to shrink in her chair, her arms tucking tight to her body. “You’d take away my Terry?” she quavered.
Spider looked nearly as traumatized as she did. “No, you’d still remember him. But there would just be some memories that-”
“No! Oh, no, I couldn’t let you take away my Terry,” Tammy cried. “I love working here and I love working with all of you, but I can’t let you take away even the tiniest memory of my Terry! He was my one and only, and I never, never, never want to forget him!”
Spider looked utterly miserable, and Stemp spoke into the expanding silence. “The only alternative is for you to be transferred to the secure facility.”
“What…” Tammy looked very small and vulnerable huddled in her chair. “What would that be like?” Her voice came out in a whisper.
“You’d have an apartment of your own,” Stemp said. “It would be quite a bit smaller than the one you have now, and it wouldn’t have a kitchen, just a bed and bathroom and a small sitting room. You’d eat your meals in a cafeteria and you’d go to work the same as you do here. You wouldn’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing to anybody, but you wouldn’t be able to leave the building without an escort.”
“And…” Her grip tightened on Jill’s hand. “What about my Jilly-bean? And Spider and Aydan…?”
My heart twisted. Poor Tammy. Forced to choose between losing precious memories of the man who had been everything to her, or leaving behind the only people she knew in the world.
“Their work is here.” Stemp sounded sympathetic but firm. “You would have to leave them behind, but they could still come and visit you.”
“They could visit?” Hope dawned on Tammy’s face and she sat up. “And I’d live in a safe building where I didn’t have to go out? And I’d never have to worry about saying the wrong thing?”
“That’s correct,” Stemp confirmed.
“Oh…” Tammy’s smile reappeared. “Oh, that would be wonderful!” She squeezed Jill’s hand. “Don’t get me wrong, Jilly-bean, I’ll miss you like crazy and I so appreciate how you’ve been looking after me, but it’s so scary t
o have to go around to all these places and never know who I can talk to and have so much space around me in the apartment, and Charles, you know how thankful I am for everything you’ve done for me, but I’d so love to go and live in your safe building instead!”
Everyone gaped open-mouthed at her except Stemp, who maintained his expressionless façade as always.
“And…” Tammy leaned forward, then hesitated. “What about… would I still work with Tyler?”
“Yes,” Stemp replied. “He would go with you.”
“Really?” Tammy’s smile lit up the room. “That’s super-duper-perfect! I just love-love-love my Tyler! When do we leave?”
Spider and I exchanged a cautious look while my shock faded into slowly-swelling elation.
Stemp said, “Immediately, if you wish.”
“Oh, yes!” Tammy turned to Jill, who looked like a woman glimpsing daylight for the first time after months in a dark dungeon. “Jilly-bean, you don’t mind, do you?” Tammy asked worriedly. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings ‘cause I love working with you, too, but-”
“Tammy, it’s fine with me,” Jill interrupted, and hugged her. “If you’ll be happy there, I’ll be happy, too.”
Well, shit.
It had never occurred to me how overwhelming a normal existence would seem to someone who had spent her entire life sequestered. I’d been fighting the wrong battle all along.
Tammy was going to be safe and happy. And Tyler Brock’s irritating presence would be gone forever, incarcerated along with Tammy.
In the back of my exhausted mind a triumphal chorus began belting out hallelujahs.
“Very well.” Stemp’s dispassionate voice brought me back to the conference room. “Webb, please inform Brock of the change. Francis, please make the arrangements to transfer Ms. Mellor’s belongings.” He rose. “Ms. Mellor, thank you for your service and cooperation. I wish you well in your new position.”
He took her hand and shook it, then transferred it back to Jill’s arm. We all rose, Spider’s eyes gleaming with gleeful anticipation. “Come on, Tammy,” he said. “Let’s go tell Tyler. He’ll be just…” The gleam in his eye took on a wicked glint. “…speechless,” he finished, grinning. “Oh, and…” he turned to me. “Aydan, I’ve finished your new, um…” He glanced at Tammy. “…handheld. Come and see me later and we’ll get it set up.”
Spy Away Home (The Never Say Spy Series Book 10) Page 37