I nodded, too tired to form words, and Jill, Tammy, and Spider hurried out. I was beginning to follow them when Jack’s quiet voice made me stop and turn.
“Director,” she said. “Do you have any inkling…” She hesitated. “Of course I understand you won’t know for sure until after your meeting. But please let us know how your review goes. We’re all hoping you’ll stay.”
“Thank you, Dr. Travers.” Stemp gave her a level look. “It appears I’ll be remaining in the director’s position.”
Guarded hope lit Jack’s eyes. “But… I thought your meeting wasn’t until three…”
Stemp’s shoulder rose and fell in a fractional shrug. “True. But there was only one remaining bone of contention that might have tipped the balance toward Dermott. Now that Ms. Mellor is to be transferred to the secure facility, all issues of concern to my chain of command have been resolved.”
My tired brain slowly ground through the implications. “Wait…” I frowned, putting the pieces together. “You mean if we’d persuaded Tammy to let me try to alter her memories, you’d have been fired?”
“Very probably. Ms. Mellor’s continued freedom has been a major source of friction between my chain of command and myself.”
“But…” I stared at his impassive face. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
He met my gaze without expression. “I gave you my word that you’d be allowed to try. I know how important it was to all of you. And I refuse to ask anyone to compromise their principles. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make arrangements for Ms. Mellor’s transfer.”
He moved toward the door and without thinking I reached to halt him with a hand on his arm.
He stopped, giving me an unreadable look, and I suddenly realized it was the only time I’d ever touched him without violent intent.
“Thank you,” I whispered, and took my hand off him.
“You’re welcome.” For a moment his eyes softened to warm amber and the corner of his mouth turned up. “Take the rest of the day off and get some rest over the long weekend,” he added. “See you Monday.”
His stone-faced façade descended again and he turned and strode out.
Chapter 51
I trailed out of the conference room in a daze, feeling as though a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Tammy safe and happy. Stemp in his rightful position as director. Spider’s and Jack’s jobs secure. Tyler Brock gone.
It seemed too good to be true.
My bemused euphoria lasted all the way down the stairs, but when I stepped into the main-floor reception area my heart plummeted at the sight of Kane and Hellhound leaning against the wall.
They both straightened, their gazes boring into me, and I used every shred of my self-control to keep from bolting back up the stairs and barricading myself in my office.
Instead I forced a smile and strolled over. “Hi, guys. What’s up?”
“We came to take you home,” Kane said. “We didn’t want to risk losing you again.”
I fought off the feeling of being under arrest. “Thanks, but everything’s okay now. There won’t be any more attacks.” They both looked unconvinced, and I added, “Oh, and you’ll be glad to know it looks as though Stemp will be staying on as director. They still have to have the official meeting but it looks as though it’s only a formality. And Tyler Brock is being transferred, effective today.”
“That’s good news,” Kane agreed, but his scrutiny was still uncomfortably intense. As if he was trying to see all my private thoughts…
I shivered.
Trying to hide it in a yawn and stretch, I said, “I’m just going to go and sign out, and then I’ve got the rest of the day off.”
“Good. Me, too,” Kane said.
“That’s good, darlin’,” Hellhound seconded and gave me a smile, but his gaze searched me as well.
When I turned away from signing out a few moments later, Kane and Hellhound fell in beside me, one on each side. They didn’t actually grip my arms, but the sense of being a prisoner intensified.
I was trying to be unobtrusive about drawing deep breaths when Lola bustled into the lobby clutching a small gift bag and a handful of the brightly-coloured inflated condoms on strings. She stopped short at the sight of me.
“There you are!” she exclaimed. She studied my face for a moment before hurrying over to give me a hug. “Honey, you look like death warmed over! What happened?”
Oh, hell.
My worn-out brain punted my bullshit factory into emergency production. “Lola! I’m so sorry, I’ve been trying to call you but my calls weren’t going through. Isn’t your phone working?”
She frowned. “I think it is. I thought your phone was the problem. I’ve been trying to call you, but I just kept getting your voicemail. I finally called Spider and he said you were here. I was so worried about you when you didn’t show up for the parade, honey. Where were you? Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine, and I’m so, so sorry! I did show up for the parade, but when I got out of my car I got caught in the dust-devil from hell. I was dirt from head to toe and something hit me in the face so it was bleeding…” I touched the tender nick on my cheek for corroboration. “…so I ran home for a shower and a change of clothes and I thought I’d still make it back in time but then I had a flat tire. And I couldn’t get you on your phone. I’m so sorry. Did the parade go okay?”
Lola reached up to trace the welt on my chin. “It looks like something nailed you here, too. And on your neck.”
“I think that was a chunk of cardboard,” I lied glibly. “There was all kinds of crap swirling around.”
“Oh, honey, you’ve had the day from hell.” Lola gave me another hug. “And don’t worry, I went with the trench coat and bathing suit and threw the candy myself. It was a hoot! You should have seen people’s faces!”
“Oh, that’s great. I’m glad it went well,” I said absently. “Well, I guess-”
“Here he is!” Lola interrupted, glancing behind me. “The winner of the coveted Up & Coming prize package!”
I turned to see Tyler Brock approaching like a petulant thundercloud.
Lola hurried over to meet him, smiling so widely that I was instantly suspicious. “Young man, congratulations!” she exclaimed, pitching her voice loud enough to make it clear that everyone in the lobby was expected to pay attention. “Your performance in the parade was worthy of my extra-special prize package!” She thrust the bouquet of inflated condoms and the gift bag into his hands. “I love alternative music, and after hearing you play, I just had to give you this!”
Brock held the ‘balloons’ away from his body and glanced into the gift bag, then gave Lola a sour look. “Condoms?”
“Yes, dear!” Lola patted his hand, doing a startlingly convincing sweet-little-old-lady act. “I hope you’ll put them to good use.”
Brock’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but apparently even he wasn’t nasty enough to insult a sweet little old lady. He settled for a jerky nod and we all watched in silence while he signed out at the security wicket and hurried out the door.
As soon as the doors closed behind him, Lola’s deep infectious laugh boomed out. “And good riddance,” she called after him.
I turned a skeptical gaze on her. “Since when are you an alternative music fan?”
“I do like some alternative music,” Lola protested.
“…and…?” I prodded.
She grinned, pure evil in an angelic-looking wrinkled package. “And the kindest thing I can do for alternative music is to make sure that boy never reproduces.”
A shout of laughter rose to the ceiling, and Lola wiggled her fingers in a coquettish goodbye. “See you later, boys,” she said to Kane and Hellhound, then leaned in to give me a hug. “Thanks for trying so hard to get to the parade, honey,” she said. “Go home and get some rest, and I hope your day gets better.”
I blinked away sudden tears. “Thanks, Lola,” I whispered. “I hope
it does, too.”
But that didn’t seem likely.
Kane and Hellhound closed in and we all stepped out onto the sidewalk together.
“We’re takin’ ya home,” Hellhound said. “You’ll ride with me, an’ Kane’ll follow.”
I sagged in defeat, too tired to argue. Handing Kane’s keys back to him, I trudged in silence to Hellhound’s SUV and fell into the passenger seat.
Kane left us with a nod and a significant look at Hellhound, and I stifled a groan. Nearly twenty minutes alone with Arnie. He’d grill me for sure. But maybe if I feigned sleep he’d have mercy…
Only moments later his soft rasp roused me. “Hey, darlin’. Time to wake up. You’re home.”
“Uh?” I swam up out of slumber, blinking stupidly at my house. “We’re…? Oh. I guess I fell asleep.”
“Yeah.” He caressed the hair away from my cheek. “How long since ya slept last, darlin’?”
When I didn’t reply, he added, “I bet ya ain’t slept since ya been at Kane’s.”
I turned away from his worried scrutiny. “Arnie, please don’t start.”
“It’s gonna be okay, darlin’. Come on, let’s get ya inside.”
As we walked to the house he put his arm around me, but I could feel the tension in his body. Kane got out of his Expedition, and the three of us went into the house in silence.
I summoned a smile and turned to them. “Well, thanks for the escort. I’m wiped out, so I’m going to bed.”
“Not so fast, darlin’.” Hellhound shed his boots and jacket and Kane followed suit. “I know you’re bagged,” Hellhound added. “But we got some unfinished business an’ it can’t wait.”
I backed away, desperation driving my voice up to a squeak. “No, please…”
Stop begging, dammit.
I dragged my aching body straighter, trying to hide my trembling and forcing my voice louder and stronger. “No. I’m not doing this with you. Not now; not ever.”
Kane and Hellhound exchanged a glance. Then Kane said, “Aydan, I’m sorry, but we are going to do this. The only way out is to shoot us both.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Or I could just shoot myself,” I muttered, and stooped.
Hard hands seized me, making me yelp with shock. Hellhound barked, “Get her weapons!” and pinned my arms by my sides while Kane frisked me rapidly, confiscating my waist pouch, Glock, and trank pistol.
“Christ, you guys, I was joking!” I protested. “I was just going to untie my boots!”
“Oh.” Hellhound released me. “Sorry, darlin’. But after what ya said earlier I was afraid to take the chance.”
Kane frowned at both of us. “What did she say earlier?”
Hellhound gave him a poker face almost as good as Stemp’s. “My fault. Just a misunderstandin’.”
“Aydan?” Kane’s gaze bored into me.
“Never mind…” I began, but he raised his voice to talk over me.
“Were you talking about harming yourself?”
“No, of course not.”
Hellhound cleared his throat and gave me a look, but I gave him the stink-eye in return and backed away, keeping my voice light. “Hey, do you guys want a beer?”
Kane’s voice rose to a near-shout. “No, goddammit, I don’t want a beer and I don’t want evasions! Why are you keeping secrets from me?”
Cornered, I lashed out. “Because it’s none of your goddamn business, that’s why!”
“SHUT UP!” Hellhound’s bellow was so loud and sudden that we jerked in unison and turned to gape at him. He grinned, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Now that I got your attention…” he said in normal tones, “…let’s get back on track. I ain’t gonna stand here an’ watch the two a’ ya hurt each other anymore. Move it. Into the livin’ room, sit down, an’ shut up.”
Kane looked ready to explode, but to my surprise he gave a short nod and marched into the living room, his shoulders stiff.
“Come on, darlin’. You, too,” Hellhound said gently.
Groaning, I took off my boots and trudged into the living room, where I threw myself into a chair and closed my eyes in despair.
“Okay,” Hellhound rasped. “Now we’re gonna have it out. I’m goin’ first. I ain’t sorry for what I said earlier, but I’m sorry for how I said it.” I opened my eyes to see him perched on the edge of the sofa, leaning forward with elbows on knees. “Aydan; Cap; I’m sorry I lost my temper. It was fuckin’ stupid, an’ it coulda killed Aydan. Cap, I know ya been through hell lately an’ I shoulda cut ya some slack.” His voice softened. “An’ Aydan, darlin’, I never want ya to feel like ya gotta run away from me. I never wanna be like my fuckin’ ol’ man.”
His voice was steady but I could read the anguish in his eyes.
My heart clenched. “Oh, Arnie, you could never be like him! And I wasn’t running away from you, I was…”
I bit off the hurtful truth, ‘running away from John’, and substituted, “…I just couldn’t bear to watch the two of you fight. And anyway…” I reached over to squeeze his hand. “…that sounded like a pretty tough mission you had on Tuesday. Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re still recovering, too.”
“What mission?” Kane demanded.
Hellhound shrugged. “Had a job. Same old, same old.”
Kane looked stricken. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Hell, it ain’t your job to know. Ya ain’t my mother.”
“No,” Kane said. “I’m your brother. I should have asked, and I’m sorry.”
Hellhound shifted uncomfortably. “No sweat, Cap. Shit happens.” His jaw firmed. “An’ that ain’t what I wanna talk about. Aydan…” His gaze searched my face. “D’ya still trust me?”
“Of course.” I reached to squeeze his hand again. “You haven’t given me any reason to stop.”
He smiled, his eyes softening. “Thanks, darlin’.” He turned to Kane. “How ‘bout you, Cap? Ya still trust me?”
Kane’s gaze flicked to our clasped hands and a muscle rippled in his jaw, but his cop face and cop voice were neutral. “You’ve had my back for over forty years. We’re brothers.”
Hellhound gently disengaged my hand and sat up straighter to lock eyes with Kane. “That ain’t what I asked. I wanna know if ya trust me enough to listen to what I got to say.”
Kane met his gaze levelly. “I trust you enough to listen.”
A flicker of pain chased itself across Hellhound’s face, but his voice was steady. “Good. Then listen up, the two a’ ya. I ain’t a shrink, but I know ya both pretty well an’ I got a helluva good bullshit detector. Ya ain’t bein’ straight with each other, an’ it’s time ya were or you’re just gonna end up hurtin’ each other worse.” He gave us a ferocious scowl. “An’ nobody hurts my friends. So I’m gonna sit here an’ referee, an’ you’re gonna start tellin’ the truth.”
Chapter 52
“I’m not doing this,” I said at the same time as Kane snapped, “This is ridiculous.”
Hellhound leaned back on the couch, eyeing us both shrewdly. “Huh. Well, if neither of ya is lyin’, what’ve ya got against hearin’ the truth?”
We began to spout denials and objections, but he silenced us with an outflung palm. “Shut up,” he said mildly. “Here’s the truth. You’re both fucked up right now. Cap, if you’re smart enough to take yourself off active duty, be smart enough to know how dumb it is to make a commitment when ya can’t even get your head straight. I know ya love Aydan, but now ain’t the time to jump into anythin’.”
He turned to me, his voice softening. “An’ Aydan, I know ya made a promise when ya were feelin’ weak. That ain’t anythin’ to be ashamed of; Christ knows anybody’d break after what ya been through. But now you’re forcin’ yourself to keep that promise even if it kills ya. An’ darlin’…” He leaned forward to touch my cheek and look into my eyes. “It’s killin’ ya. Ya gotta sleep sometime.”
“She has been sleeping,” Kane objected. “She had a few nig
htmares the first night but then she settled down, and she didn’t have any nightmares at all last night.”
He looked to me for corroboration, but as I nodded Hellhound said softly, “That’s ‘cause she ain’t been sleepin’ at all. Ain’t that right, darlin’?”
I studied my toes and said nothing.
“Aydan?” Kane sounded anxious. “Is that true?”
Driven to answer, I gave him a bright smile while simultaneously sending ‘shut up’ vibes in Hellhound’s direction. “You’re right, I didn’t have any nightmares last night.”
Kane frowned, obviously seeing through my misdirection. “So you haven’t been sleeping. Why not?”
“I… I didn’t want to hurt you. After those couple of times I kicked you and jumped out of bed, I was afraid that if I had a really bad nightmare I might accidentally shoot you before I woke up completely, so I didn’t dare go to sleep.”
“The whole truth, darlin’,” Hellhound growled softly. “Why were ya havin’ such bad nightmares an’ fightin’ to get outta bed?”
I copped an attitude, tilting my head and pressing my forefinger into my cheek while I did a breathless ditzy voice. “Well, jeepers creepers, I just don’t know. It couldn’t have been all the guys breaking into my house and trying to kill me, could it?”
Hellhound remained unmoved by my sarcasm. “Nope, you’re right, darlin’, it couldn’ta been that. ‘Cause I know when ya wake up from those kinda nightmares, ya need a hug. Ya don’t fight to get outta bed.”
“What are you saying?” Kane rumbled ominously.
“I’m sayin’ she’s doin’ her level best to pretend everythin’s fine and make ya happy. Ya oughta be glad she loves ya enough to do that. An’ ya oughta set her free, ‘cause it’s killin’ her.”
Kane and I both began to protest, but Hellhound snapped his penetrating gaze to Kane. “An’ gettin’ married ain’t what ya really want right now, either. Is it?”
Spy Away Home (The Never Say Spy Series Book 10) Page 38