A Barrel of Whiskey - (An Urban Fantasy Whiskey Witches Novel)

by S. M. Blooding

  “You didn’t ask,” Henry said. “Get me that resume and we’ll talk.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “Are you serious about this, Chief?” Blondie asked, her expression showing exactly what she felt. Disdain.

  Paige knew what was going on here. This was their turf. Working on the strange and occult, that made them special. In comes someone, a big name with nothing else standing behind her, wanting a piece of their action?

  Well, if the cat really was out of the bag, there was no sense in keeping everything a big secret. Was there?

  Taking in shallow breaths, she smiled and called to the air, feeding it with her playfulness. It gobbled it up like a starving child. What do you want us to do? the air asked.

  Play.

  She pointed her attention to Blondie’s hair.

  A wind picked up, flinging papers everywhere. The air tugged on Blondie’s hair, slipping it this way and that.

  Blondie kept her cool, blue gaze settled on Paige.

  How boring. Paige redirected her focus to Mr. Light Eyes.

  His purple tie beat against his face.

  He flung himself back, flailing at the thing as if it was possessed.

  “Enough,” Dexx murmured.

  Paige sighed and released the air.

  The wind died down with an almost audible mew of disappointment.

  Mr. Frumpy sat glued to the back of his chair, his mouth open, his eyes wide, his arms splayed.

  Mr. Light Eyes frowned, brushing his tie back in place, standing behind his chair.

  Ms. Kick-Ass rose from the corner of the desk and faced Paige directly, her head tipped to the side, her long, wavy, luxurious hair flowing over her shoulder.

  Paige was a little jealous of that hair. Holy buckets!

  Ms. Blondie stood and put her hands on her hips, her right hand sliding comfortably on the hilt of her gun.

  Paige raised an eyebrow. “Not bragging or anything, but, uh, I do add a kind of flavor to the investigation you’re all lacking.”

  Blondie raised her chin.

  Kick-Ass pressed her full lips together.

  “Unless one of you is hiding something.” Paige licked her lips. “Shapeshifters? Any of you?”

  Dexx raised his hand.

  Paige rolled her eyes internally. “Witches?”

  He urged her to raise her hand.

  She gave her head a slight shake. “Vampires?”

  Frumpy turned concerned eyes to his partners, a look of confused concern racing along the wrinkles of his expression.

  “No? Are any of you a demon?” Paige dropped her tone on the last word to bring an air of spook to it. “No? Hmm.”

  “Mundanes,” Dexx said, his tone chipper. “That’s so cool.”

  “Look, Detective,” Blondie said, taking a step forward, her arms unfurling. “We were doing just fine before you arrived.”

  “Right. Except you were shredding your victims with an exorcism.”

  “You killed the last guy you exorcised.”

  “He had a heart attack. Big difference.” Not really. The demon she’d faced off with had been powerful. She didn’t want to see what would happen if they’d faced off with him.

  Kick-Ass raised a dark brow, her lips quirked.

  “Look.” Paige squared her shoulders. “You want a pissing contest? Let’s do it.”

  Blondie smirked.

  “I could level this building with lava pulled straight from the mantle of the Earth. I can make plants stab you, killing you softly. I can drown you where you stand. I can strip the oxygen from right in front of your face.”

  Frumpy’s eyes and mouth widened even larger as he pushed his chair as far back as the desk behind him would allow.

  Light Eyes frowned, his lips rounding.

  Blondie licked her lips, her stance relaxing minutely.

  Kick-Ass, though? She took a step forward.

  Paige tipped her head to the side, her nostrils flaring. Something smelled a little different, a little off. She wasn’t entirely human. “What are you?”

  Kick-Ass stopped, her dark eyes wide.

  “What are you? You don’t smell like a shape shifter, or a vampire, or even a reaper. What are you?”

  She blinked, her breath coming in quick and shallow.

  “An elemental?”

  A tree, Cawli whispered. But not like Kris. I believe you would call her a dryad.

  “A dryad?” Paige asked out loud in surprise.

  Kick-Ass took a step back in surprise.

  Dexx’s mouth fell open. “You’ve had a paranormal on your team?” He turned to Henry. “Tell me you knew.”

  Henry’s hand balled up into a fist. “What was the very first thing we discussed when I brought you all on board?”

  Blondie stared at Kick-Ass and took a step away.

  “No secrets!” Henry pounded his fist against the nearest desk. “No fucking secrets! We’re fighting out there every day, risking our lives on things we can’t discuss and you want to keep secrets from us?”

  Time to intervene. “Look, Henry.” Paige swallowed. It felt so weird calling the man who had been her boss for years by his given name, but screw it. She had to show him and his team that she was his equal. “Dryads are a bit different. She couldn’t tell you her secret.”

  Henry clenched his jaw and turned his gaze on her. “What do you mean?”

  She had no idea. She was making it up as she went. “Dryads are easily manipulated by just about everyone in the paranormal society. They’re a plant. Witches, shapeshifters, vampires? We could control her if we knew what she was.”

  “Djinn,” Kick-Ass whispered. “If the djinn found us, my entire grove would be imprisoned.”

  “Gin?” Henry asked, dumfounded.

  “Like genies,” Blondie said.

  “I Dream of Genie?” Light Eyes offered. “Only, I’m pretty sure Gomez is referring to the old demon kind. Arabic, right?”

  Kick-Ass, aka Gomez, nodded. “And we have one, several in fact, right here in Dallas.”

  Henry rolled his tongue behind his front teeth and expelled a breath. “Well, this is what I’d like you to head up. I want you to take this unit. Give it the foundation it needs to succeed.”

  “And if I don’t want it?” She needed a job, yes. But she needed one that took less time, not more.

  His lips clamped shut. He turned his back to the group of detectives and faced Paige directly. “Where else would you go?” he asked softly.

  “I don’t know.” She had to level with him, with them all. If war followed her, they’d be the ones to clean up the mess. “I’m in the middle of a war.”

  “We all are.”

  “A real one, Henry. One that could turn bloody if it’s not mitigated.”

  “Then do that,” he said, his hands wide at his sides.

  She licked her lips.

  Gomez glanced at her team members. “Does it have anything to do with the Eastwoods being in town?”

  Paige had never met a dryad, had never really heard of them except in myths. Was it good to see they weren’t out of touch with the paranormal community? “Yes. And no. That is the issue. They’re not here for me.” Yet.

  Blondie frowned.

  Henry slashed his hand, palm down. “I don’t care. We need you.”

  “So do a lot of other places.”

  “Hell’s Gate is here.”

  She’d have to look into that. “No. Hell’s Gate is here.” She pointed at her chest.

  He leaned in closer. “Pay is doubled. Insurance is covered. And you get a car. Interested?”

  Dexx leaned in. “I am.”

  “We’ll discuss your pay later.”

  “Do I still get insurance?”

  “Yes.”

  “Car?”

  “No.”

  Dexx made a face. “Fine. I like mine better anyway.”

  Paige regarded Henry’s nose because she couldn’t look him in the eye this close. She didn’t need to be distr
acted. But they did need her help. “I’ll think about it. And in the meantime, we’ll review cases. See what information I can impart.”

  Henry paused, then stepped back and pointed to the group. “No more secrets. You hear me?” He left the room.

  Everyone stared at each other in awkward silence.

  Well. Time to meet the team. “Kick-Ass,” Paige called. “Name. Reason you’re here.”

  A frown flickered between Gomez’s dark brows as she glanced around to see who else Paige had referred to. “Michelle Gomez. Dryad, as you now know. Joined this unit because I’m trying to track down the djinn who are hunting my grove.”

  “What kind of grove?”

  “Ash.”

  “Whew.” Paige’s eyebrows shot up. “Ash, you say.” Ash was a wood her family used in certain spells to add power and additional clarity.

  Gomez raised her chin, her shoulders squared. “Yes.”

  “More’n just djinn would like to find you.”

  “You just said she was hunted by everyone,” Blondie said.

  “I was lying.” Paige perched against the edge of the nearest desk. “I wanted to give Henry a reason not to fire her. She’s the first dryad I’ve met, so I really don’t know much about her.”

  “We keep our presence low.” Gomez ducked her head embarrassed. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect my grove.”

  There was no way Paige was getting between this fiercely faced woman-tree and her people. Nuh-uh. She held up her hands in surrender. “Blondie. You’re up.”

  “Blondie? Really? That’s so original.”

  “I didn’t say I was the most original. I said I’m a witch who could kill you instead of listening to you bitch, moan, whine, and complain.”

  Blondie ran her tongue along her teeth. “Andie King.” She glanced at Dexx. “I’m here because my sister was bitten by a shifter and turned. I haven’t seen her since, but she calls sometimes to tell me she’s doing okay.”

  “Was she bitten around here?” Dexx asked.

  King nodded, biting her lip.

  He shrugged. “We have to meet with them anyway,” he said in almost a whisper. “We could ask.”

  Paige nodded. “We should see if they’re going to let us live first,” she whispered back. She cleared her throat and said louder, “It’s likely she is doing fine.”

  “Being held against her will? Like in a cult?”

  “Don’t let your imagination get the better of you, Detective King. Shifters have to stay reclusive for a reason. It takes a while for them to gain control of their shift.”

  Dexx shifted beside her.

  She touched his arm lightly. “And it’s nice to be around people who aren’t going to judge you when you shift into an animal and then shift into a naked human being.”

  “Naked?” Gomez asked, her tone light, a slight smile on her lips as she looked at Dexx.

  “Quite,” he said, clasping his hands in front of him.

  Paige smiled at his discomfort. “Light Eyes. Go.”

  His shoulders twitched, but he stood up straight. “Detective Gary Parris. I, um, just—I saw something I couldn’t explain. A man murdered a woman. He was holding up a gas station. Didn’t know I was a cop. I drew on him. He shot her, then ran off. I chased him and then…he became a shadow and disappeared.”

  Shadow man. That was a new one. “Hmm. Interesting. And you?” She didn’t want to tell him what she’d called him in her mind. Mr. Frumpy wasn’t classy and it wasn’t a confidence booster. “Name and story.”

  “Paul Wrick. Detective Paul Wrick. Anyway, um, my girlfriend and I had been dating for a few years, then I popped the question. She didn’t take it so well.” He clapped his hands together and scooted his chair back to his desk. “She came back about a week later, very apologetic. Said she loved me, that she wanted to get married, but didn’t think I’d understand.”

  Dexx glanced at Paige. “Do we want to know?”

  “She, uh.” Wrick licked his lips. “Apparently, she’s a water wraith. We, uh, tried to make a go of it. She showed me her true face. It’s…it’s not pretty. But then children started disappearing around the river one summer and, uh, you know. I—I did my research. Water wraiths. They, uh, lure people to the water and then they disappear for, you know, ever. So, I asked her one day if she knew any other water wraiths in the area. And she freaked. She disappeared and the kids stopped disappearing. So, I’m pretty sure I was about to marry a murderer. You know? One that killed small children.”

  “You went after her?” Dexx asked.

  “Tracked her to Kansas, but lost her trail after that.” Wrick sucked in his lips, his jaw lowered. “Yeah. Still looking for her. She’s not going to get away with that. There’s nothing there that’s okay. Nothing.”

  “Wow.” Dexx held up his hands. “Water wraith in your bed. How was that?”

  “Kid killer.” Wrick smashed his lips together and nodded, his dark gaze on his desk. “Real hot. Like, very. Very hot.”

  King frowned at him. “I didn’t know that.”

  “Chief did. That’s all that mattered.”

  Dexx raised his hand. “Dexx Colt. Demon hunter and shapeshifter. A few years back, my brother was possessed by a demon. It didn’t go well. He was put in the loony bin for a long stint. He raved about stuff that didn’t make sense. Then he killed himself. After that, I did my research. Discovered demons were real and started chasing after them. Lost my job. Lost my apartment. I now steal identities so I can get credit cards to put gas in my car and to pay for my storage unit. I was bitten a few days ago. Still learning to control my shift.”

  Wrick’s eyes widened and the corners of his lips lowered.

  King frowned at Dexx.

  Parris crossed his arms over his chest, his pale eyes narrowed.

  Gomez chucked her chin in Paige’s direction. “Your turn.”

  “Right.” They needed a mood lifter. Paige clapped her hands. “Born a witch to a long line of witches. We’re one of the strongest lines I know of. We’re also the loudest. My grandmother raised us not to be afraid of who we are, so we never hid it. Made for some very interesting stories growing up, but we got better. I’m also a demon summoner.”

  Wrick’s Adam’s apple bobbed.

  Enough of that. “Let’s take a look at some of your cases. See if we can’t give you a little assistance.”

  No one moved.

  “Who would like to start?”

  King sighed and turned to her desk. “Fine. New case. Just landed on my desk. Heather Blackwell. New mother. Just brought her baby boy home.”

  The air stuck in Paige’s throat. Her ears buzzed.

  “Found dead. She’d been tortured for days, but her baby boy was found in the next room, hidden under the bed with a fresh diaper.”

  Paige’s mouth went dry. She stumbled and grabbed the desk.

  “Ma’am?” King asked.

  Dexx caught her arm. “What’s wrong?”

  “Heather,” Paige gasped. “Leslie just saw her in the hospital. They gave birth together.”

  “Yeah?” Dexx shook his head. “So?”

  “She was my best friend,” Paige whispered.

  “When did this happen?” Paige demanded.

  Wrick tugged at his rumpled shirt. “Her body was just found this morning.”

  “This morning?” Paige fought to breathe. She’d just gotten into town and now her friends were dropping? She hadn’t even had a chance to visit with Heather. Was her family next? “You said she’d been tortured for days. If she was in the hospital with Leslie, then she was just there two days ago.”

  “According to the coroner,” King said, handing the file over, “she’d been tortured a lot longer than two days.”

  “Was there any trace evidence picked up?”

  “Yes, but not much. It’s been sent to the lab.”

  Paige picked up her phone and called a number she’d had memorized since before the days of programmed smart phones.


  “Yeah,” a quippy female voice said. “You’ve reached the number to Super Subs, but we’re super slammed. Leave a message after the beep and we’ll call ya right back.”

  “Ethel.”

  “Paige,” the young woman said, her tone filled with surprise. “Holy shit, Batman. You’re back?”

  “Yes. There’s a case. Heather Blackwell. I need you to process that.”

  “Oh, uh. Yeah. Hello to you, too. But sure. Why? More of the super weird shit?”

  “Possibly.”

  “What am I looking for?”

  “Anything out of the ordinary.”

  “Okay. Hey, how long you been back?”

  “Hours.”

  “Oh. Okay. Then, I won’t jump your shit. Unless you weren’t planning on calling until something came up.”

  Paige hadn’t thought about calling anyone yet. “Was going to give you call later today. Haven’t settled yet.”

  “Stayin’ with Alma?”

  “Yup.”

  “Swing by for dinner?”

  “I’ll let her know.”

  “I’ll bring apples.”

  “She’ll make pie.”

  “This case. What’s special about it? You sound wrecked.”

  She was. “Best friend.”

  “Oh, shit. Your kind of special? You’re sure?”

  “Pretty sure. She had a baby two days ago, but Holmes said she was tortured for days.”

  “Oh. Yeah. Your kind of shit for sure. Okay. I’ll check for sulfur.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem. Call ya later if I have results. If not, see you at seven.”

  “Yup.” Paige pulled the phone away from her ear as the visual on her phone blinked off.

  “Who was that?” Gomez asked.

  “Ethel. She’s a lab tech.” Paige’s head pounded. “She’s going to work on the evidence from Heather’s case.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  Paige scanned the report, but there wasn’t a lot there. “Let’s canvas the scene.” Which she couldn’t do because she was so close to the case. But…she was the only witch and she couldn’t call on Leslie. Or Alma.

  “You think you’ll be able to spot something the cops didn’t?” Wrick asked, standing and pulling his suit jacket on. It didn’t make him look any more professional.