December Heat

by MacNeil, Joanie

  “You’ll be sorry you said that,” Jake reaffirmed.

  “No doubt. But you know I didn’t mean it.”

  “Do I, Nic? Sometimes I don’t know what to make of you.” He stopped whisking, took the whisk from the bowl and rinsed it under the tap.

  “Whoever taught you the way around a kitchen taught you well,” Nic remarked. “Most men I know would just leave that on the bench and have the devil of a time getting it clean once the mixture dried.”

  Jake smiled. Natalie had taught him well all right. No way would he disagree with his older sister, at least not when he knew she was right. “I had a good teacher. My sister. She used to say the same thing. ‘One day Jake, you’ll be pleased I’ve taught you the finer points of kitchen etiquette’.”

  Nic smiled back. “Smart lady. That looks yummy.”

  “Here, taste it, tell me what you think.”

  He scooped up a generous amount onto a teaspoon and held it out to her.

  “Uh, uh, let me,” he said, when she went to grasp the spoon. “That’s part of the effect.”

  He caught the wary look in her hazel eyes.

  She dropped her arms and opened her mouth. He moved closer and slipped in the spoon between her lips. Something about the way her mouth sampled the dessert, the way her eyelids drifted downwards, her lashes resting against her cheek, sent Jake’s insides into a tailspin. Perhaps this hadn’t been such a good idea after all.

  Her hand came up to cup his as he withdrew the spoon from her mouth. Her warmth steadied him, slowed down the action. Her eyelids sprang open and their gazes held.

  She swallowed the creamy mixture. “Mmm. You are a true genius in the kitchen. That’s heavenly. Can I have another...?”

  The movement of her mouth was too much for Jake. He tossed the spoon aside and met her mouth with his own, the tip of his tongue licking away the traces of creamy dessert from her lips.

  She melted into him. His arms went around her, bringing her closer, her softness against his hardness. His hands caressed the length of her body, as if recording every sensitive spot until he cupped her bottom, urging her closer. His heart turned over when she rose to her toes and pressed herself against the hard knot at the apex of his thighs.

  “Nic, Nic.” The groan tore from the depths of his chest. “I want you, Nic.”

  He felt devastated when she tore herself away from him.

  “No Jake, this isn’t right. I’m not ready. I can’t just do this for the sake of it. I...I’m sorry. I know, I’m hopeless.”

  He grabbed for her as she tried to run away. “No, Nic,” he said, bringing her nearer to him, careful their bodies didn’t touch. Though his own ached to hold her closer he didn’t want her to feel threatened.

  “You’re not hopeless. One day you’ll be ready to be with a man again. I would like that man to be me. As much as I want you though, I’m not going to coerce you into something you don’t want to do.”

  She closed her eyes for a moment, relief obvious on her face.

  “I...I feel a bit...I don’t know. Like I’ve let you down, I suppose. I like you being here, you have helped me cope much better. But I’m not prepared to give more of myself than I’m ready to. I don’t want a fling, Jake. I couldn’t take that, even though I like you. I like you a lot.”

  He drew her into his arms, his heart heavy. “I like you a lot too, Nic, and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

  Chapter Nine

  “I still can’t believe he’s gone.” Jake flipped through some snapshots that were in the box Nic handed to him. There were rural scenes and cityscapes, some shots of children at a party, and a few of the local scenery. “These are very good. Mark certainly knew how to handle a camera.”

  In spite of her vow not to look, Nic found herself drawn to the contents of the box, and sat beside him on the couch. “Yes, he did.”

  The gentle pressure of his fingers around hers made her feel warm, reassured. “I suppose my presence here is making things worse for you.”

  “No, no, of course it isn’t. I’m glad of your company.” Nic hadn’t realized just how alone she’d felt until Jake stumbled back into her life. And here she’d thought she was getting herself back together. How wrong could a girl be?

  She’d smelled his aftershave lingering on her clothes after he’d kissed her. It was hypnotic. Nic flopped back on the couch and closed her eyes. She’d been with Mark when he’d taken many of the photos and the images implanted themselves beneath her eyelids, memories filling her thoughts.

  She felt Jake lean forward, as if putting something on the coffee table. He whistled through his teeth. “Man, these are some photos!”

  Nicolette suddenly remembered some of the contents that were in the box. Oh Lord! How could she have forgotten? Her worst fears were realized when she opened her eyes to find half a dozen black and white photos of herself spread out on the coffee table.

  “Oh, no. Mark told me he’d destroyed those.” She made a move to gather them up, but Jake’s hand stilled hers.

  “Nic,” he said softly. “There’s nothing wrong with them. They are tastefully done...sensual works of art.”

  Surprised at his comment, she glanced up at him when she thought he wasn’t looking. He was serious. Why had she expected Jake to make some tasteless comment? Wouldn’t the old Jake have done that? She conceded she’d never looked past the bad boy image to get to know what he was really like.

  She glanced down at the display again. “Mark was proud of those.”

  “No wonder he didn’t destroy them. I don’t blame him. You’re a beautiful woman.”

  She wasn’t sure whether to be thrilled or to ignore his words. They seemed to roll so easily from his lips she wondered about the sincerity behind them.

  “They were part of his experimental phase. This was his favorite.” She picked up the closest photo. Her back was to the camera, an inviting glance over her shoulder, a sexy pout on her mouth. A shirt hung from her finger tips, the material partially covering her bottom, shirt ends trailing casually on the ground. She was completely naked.

  “I can understand why. This one is good too.”

  She smiled. “I wore a bikini in that one, though with my arms and legs crossed the way they are, it does look as if I don’t have a stitch on.”

  “Yeah.”

  At the throaty rumble of Jake’s voice, Nic’s body flushed with heat.

  Jake continued to look long and hard at the photos. “What did Mark plan to do with these?”

  “He was putting together a portfolio. I’m not sure that’s the kind of photography he wanted to go into. And I certainly had no intention of being his full time model. I wasn’t that keen to be in his portfolio anyway. I went along with it to help him out, help him get started.”

  “The things we do for love, eh?”

  “Something like that,” she agreed. At the time, she would have done anything to rekindle Mark’s interest in life. Each time she thought he showed an inclination to get himself back on his feet mentally, he’d slip back into the depths of despondency. There were times she just didn’t know what to do, where to turn.

  Jake gathered up the photos and returned them to the box. “At least they are safe tucked away in here.”

  “Thanks,” she said, feeling more vulnerable than ever in Jake’s company. Playing a role, dancing on stage in skimpy costumes was one thing, but having Jake see her in a photo in the altogether in a private viewing, was quite another.

  She rose to her feet and grasped the box to return it to the cupboard where it had remained untouched since before Mark’s death. There were still some possessions she couldn’t quite bring herself to part with.

  She returned to the lounge room to find Jake had moved out onto the verandah. He stood staring out over the bush toward the river. She walked over to stand beside him, feeling small and fragile in his presence.

  * * *

  Nic deserved every happiness. A family of her own. If that was what she wan
ted...eventually. Jake watched as Nic bounced Danny’s baby daughter on her knee. The child, a few months older than the tiny Kylie, giggled for more. Nic looked right at home. Motherhood would suit her.

  Jake shook his head. Such thoughts weren’t like him at all.

  “Must be this hot December sunshine,” he mumbled. “Couldn’t be anything else.”

  “Hey, Jake,” Danny called, distracting him. Out of the corner of his eye, Jake saw Nic raise her head to look in his direction.

  “Another cold one?”

  “Sure.” Jake pushed away from the trunk of the large eucalyptus from where he’d been surveying the goings on around him. Cass had taken the other two little ones into the pool with her. They laughed and splashed with their mother.

  For once in his life, Jake wondered what it would be like to commit to married life, have a family of his own...with Nic. Waking up with her beside him every morning...having babies of their own. It was past time he got back to work and out of this dangerous environment that had him considering things that definitely weren’t for him.

  “Thanks, mate,” he said, retrieving the bottle of lager from Danny.

  “She’s a great lady,” Danny said.

  Jake followed his gaze to Nic.

  “Yeah, she is.” He took a swallow of beer.

  “I’d hate to see her get hurt...again.”

  Danny’s tone was firm, not quite accusatory, but Jake had the distinct impression that Danny was sussing out his honorable intentions...or more to the point, whether he had any.

  “I wouldn’t want to see her get hurt either.”

  “Mark broke her heart.”

  This bald statement took Jake by surprise. He’d picked up a few hints here and there that all was not well between Mark and his wife. Mark was a good friend and Jake didn’t want to entertain the thought Mark hadn’t treated Nic well, now that he wasn’t able to defend himself against accusations.

  “Nic never said anything....”

  “No, she wouldn’t. She’s not the type to spread her personal troubles around, preferring to keep quiet and handle it herself. I know Mark was your best friend, but hell man, he couldn’t see how much he hurt her. Wouldn’t do anything to help himself.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Danny looked at him squarely. “You’ll have to ask Nic. It’s not my place to tell you what went on between them. Or why Nic stuck by him. But I will say this, for Nic’s own protection, don’t make promises you can’t keep. Or worse, have no intention of keeping. It will destroy her.”

  Danny raised the lager bottle to his mouth and took a long drink.

  Mulling over what Danny had said, Jake raised his own bottle and sucked in the cool brown liquid. “I have no intention of hurting her,” Jake reiterated. “Nic and I are worlds apart. We can’t be anything more than just friends.”

  “So long as you keep it that way. No hard feelings?”

  “No. No hard feelings,” Jake agreed.

  Nic appeared beside them. “And what are you two looking so serious about?”

  “Man talk,” Jake said, an abruptness in his voice that he didn’t intend to show.

  She looked from one to the other. “I see. I think that’s a hint to mind my own business.”

  Again she looked at them, but when neither responded, she turned to Danny. “Here Danny, you can take charge of this.” She handed him his daughter. “I’m going for a dip in the pool.” Her gaze rose to meet Jake’s. “Coming?”

  “Sure,” he responded, placing his beer on the small table nearby. How could he not? It was an invitation too good to refuse.

  Cass was still in the pool, being entertained by the other two little ones.

  “When are you coming to live with us, Aunty Nic?”

  “Yeah, when?” a second voice echoed.

  “I’d like to know that too,” Cass said.

  “After Christmas, when you lot are settled back in after your holiday and I’ve managed to organize myself into moving. Exactly when, depends on when Jake leaves.”

  She glanced at him as they paused by the edge of the pool. “I’ve decided not to stay on once you’ve left. There’s not much point.”

  He wanted to ask her why, but shrugged it off. He was reading too much into her statement.

  “We’ll be back from Perth by 10 January, so anytime after that.”

  “I’ll be leaving around then,” Jake informed them.

  “There’s your answer, Cass.”

  Jake shallow-dived into the pool and the children turned their attention to him.

  “Another victim,” Cass said, and laughed softly.

  Nic entered the pool via the steps and Jake was thankful for the cooling effects of the water on his heated skin. More and more she was affecting him.

  “What are you doing for Christmas, Nic?” Cass glanced in Jake’s direction.

  “Spending it here.”

  Jake caught Nic’s gaze but then something behind him stole her attention. An unexplained cold shiver shot through him, until he remembered where he was. No one who meant him harm could sneak up on him here.

  “Hi,” a familiar female voice said, reaffirming his safety. “Hope you don’t mind we let ourselves in.”

  Jake looked around. Magenta. A man accompanied her, a tiny baby resting on his shoulder.

  Kylie.

  “Magenta, Terry, glad you could make it.” Nic greeted them as she climbed out of the pool and grabbed a large towel, wrapping it around herself, sarong style.

  She introduced them to Cass and Danny, then Terry to Jake.

  Terry offered her the baby and Nic took Kylie and cooed softly as she rested the little body against her shoulder.

  Jake watched her instinctively begin to rock gently as she rubbed Kylie’s back. His gut twisted. A part of him longed to be the other party in the vision he’d created in his mind, of Nic nursing their child. But it just wouldn’t work. Nic had her career, he had his. They were worlds apart or would be in a few short weeks.

  “These two little ones aren’t yours?” Magenta asked, breaking into Jake’s fanciful daydream. He glanced downwards, the two little ones clinging to an arm each as he dipped them in and out of the water.

  “No,” he said, glancing at Danny, who was still nursing his youngest. “He’s the guilty party,” he joked and Danny laughed.

  “Danny would like us to have our own dance company,” Cass added, now out of the pool and grabbing up a towel to wrap around herself. “But I’ve told him three’re plenty.”

  She threw Danny a smile and moved to stand beside him. He slid his arm around her waist and drew her a little closer. Their youngest child reached out for her mother and Cass took her. Proudly, Danny looked on.

  Jake felt a touch of envy. Why was it that some men reveled in being a father and others were terrified at the prospect of making such a commitment?

  The question haunted him right through lunch and the rest of the afternoon.

  The best part was when he got to nurse the precious Kylie and imagined the child was his own. He raised his head and caught Nic watching him.

  The edges of her mouth crinkled into a smile and he smiled back, linked by a special awareness that he didn’t quite understand.

  * * *

  After the party, a strange emptiness filled Jake. His restlessness had to be the result of the December heat and all this peace and quiet, allowing strange thoughts to find their way into his head...about family, and having one of his own...with Nic.

  No other woman had made him think these kinds of thoughts before. The sooner Christmas was over and he was on his way back to Europe, the safer he would feel. The idea of commitment scared him more than reporting the news from a war zone. He didn’t like to consider what kind of person that made him.

  He quit pacing the length of the verandah like a caged animal and entered the living room to find Nic tidying up, plumping and rearranging cushions.

  “Hi,” she said. “I wondered where you were.�
�

  “Not too far away.”

  “Did you enjoy yourself today, with the crowd here? I know you find it much quieter than what you’re used to.”

  “Yes, I did enjoy the company, and the little ones.” That had been the biggest shock of all, considering he’d had very little to do with children.

  “Magenta invited us to Christmas drinks.”

  “Where exactly does she live?”

  She stopped, placed her hands on her hips and surveyed her handiwork. A tightness coiled in Jake’s gut as he watched her. Somehow, Nic was drawing him in, weaving him into her domesticity.

  “Just down the road.”

  “Down the road?” Jake thought about how few and far the houses were scattered the further into the hills he’d driven. “How far down the road?”

  “Not far, about five minutes by car.”

  “Do you want to go?”

  “Yes, I’d like to. Very much.” She looked thoughtful. “You know Jake, today was a real milestone for me.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Since Mark’s death, I’ve hardly been out of the house, at least not socially. I’ve kept to myself way too much. The only company I’ve had has been Danny’s occasional visit and Magenta when she’s dropped Kylie off. To be honest, I wondered how I’d manage to perform in front of an audience after being in isolation for so long. I thought it might be a real problem performing when I haven’t felt exactly like socializing these past months. I hoped everything would fall into place, and I think it just might be all right now.”

  She looked relaxed and happy as if her life was beginning to take on a new shape and direction.

  “That’s great, Nic. I’m glad things are working out.”

  Should he ask her now, about Mark? It seemed a pity to dredge up her sorrow and spoil the moment. Jake decided the matter could keep for the time being.

  But he had to know. “What did Danny mean...about Mark?”

  Nic’s expression closed. “I’ve no idea. What did he say?”

  Jake drew closer to her as she plumped one more cushion and placed it on the chair.