Finding a Hart

by Kay Gordon

  “Dr. Struthers is still on board with him going home tomorrow,” Kara noted quietly and I nodded as I looked up at her.

  “I’m so happy for him and his dad and so sad for me.”

  Kara smiled and dropped her head to my shoulder as we both stared down at the perfect bundle in my arms. “You’ll have your own someday, Steph, and you’ll be the best mom.”

  “I hope so.”

  We stood like that for a few more minutes and she left me with the baby so she could attend to a little one who woke up crying. I took my usual spot in a glider and ran my hands down Chris’s cheek. I didn’t say or do anything else for about thirty minutes and I grinned when his little eyes fluttered open. He let out a big yawn and smacked his tiny lips together as his deep blue eyes looked up. I knew he couldn’t focus on my face but I liked to think that he knew who I was.

  “I’m going to miss you, buddy,” I whispered softly. “You’re going to have a great life, though. Your daddy already loves you and he’s going to give you the world.”

  A tear slipped down my cheek and I reached up to wipe it away quickly but more followed anyway. I silently cried while peppering his precious little face with kisses, only then realizing how much I’d come to care about Christopher Hart. I continued speaking to him in a low voice and only stopped when someone said my name.

  I glanced up at Kara and saw that Jared was standing next to her with a small smile on his face. He wasn’t wearing the usual suit I was accustomed to seeing him in and instead had on a pair of jeans and a Michigan Wolverines t-shirt. I stood and turned slightly to remove any signs of my tears from earlier still on my cheeks. Once I was sure my face was clear, I faced Jared and plastered on a smile.

  “Great minds think alike, City Roast.”

  He chuckled and nodded his head. “I guess so. I just wanted a quick visit before you came by.”

  “Well, here. I’ve been hogging him for a bit now.” I offered up the baby and Jared shook his head.

  “You hold him. I don’t mind watching.”

  I stared at him for a moment, unsure of how to reply to that, and only looked away when Chris began to whimper in my arms. I tried to comfort him for a moment but Kara glanced at his clipboard and shook her head.

  “He’s probably hungry. He hasn’t eaten since about six.” She readied a bottle and tried to hand it to me but I gestured to Jared.

  “Come on. Let’s practice while we can.” I held out the baby and gently transferred him from my arms to Jared’s. His face lit up as he stared down at his son and it was truly breathtaking to see. I backed up as the two of them sat in the glider and Jared began to feed him the bottle.

  “What are you doing tonight?” Kara asked, glancing up at me as she changed Jewel’s diaper.

  “I’m on call for a bit longer and then I was thinking about going to bed early.” I sat on a stool next to her and sighed. “I live such an awesome life.”

  Kara started to wrap the little baby back in the blanket and raised her eyebrows. “Honey, you work ten hours day, go out on calls in the middle of the night, and find babies in the garbage. It sounds like your life is kind of complicated.”

  “Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck and laughed softly. “I guess that means I definitely earned the right to go to bed early.”

  I twirled on the stool and sighed tiredly as it came to a stop so I was facing Jared. He smiled when my eyes met his. I returned it with one of my own but didn’t say anything.

  Kara and I supervised while Jared did the diaper changing on his own and she gave him swaddling pointers. Around nine-thirty, he stood from the glider. Just as he moved to hand me the baby, Kara made us stop and pose for the camera.

  “It’s for the graduation wall,” she said, gesturing to the wall of photos behind her. “Now smile, you two.”

  I stood next to Jared, who was still holding Chris, and we both smiled so she could take the picture. Once she had set the camera down, he offered me the baby. I smiled gratefully and held Chris, who was sound asleep, tight.

  “I’ll see you again soon, baby boy. I promise.” I pressed my lips to his forehead and inhaled the clean, baby scent mixed with men’s body wash. “Stay sweet, Christopher.”

  I placed him back in his bed and had to swallow to keep the tears that threatened back. I stepped away so Jared could kiss his son and Kara wrapped me in a hug.

  “I’m going to miss you around here.”

  I hugged her back hard. “Then we just have to see each other outside of the NICU.”

  “Please. You better call me.” She let me go and smiled at Jared. “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, Mr. Hart. Bring your car seat and I’ll have some bags ready for you take home.”

  “Okay.” He thanked Kara and followed me out of the NICU. He grabbed his jacket as I did the same and swung my bag over my shoulder. We didn’t speak as we stepped into the elevator and I fidgeted slightly in the awkward silence.

  “Thank you,” Jared said quietly from where he was standing next to me. I turned my head and raised my brows.

  “For what?”

  His lips turned up into a smile. “For everything you’ve done for him. You saved him. You’ve loved him when he didn’t have anyone. I watched you through the window of the NICU for a bit today… You’re amazing with him.”

  The elevator doors opened and we both stepped out into the parking garage. I shook my head as I began digging through my bag for my keys.

  “I don’t usually get attached to the kids on my caseload for this reason.” I closed my fist around my keys and sighed. “If I’m only temporary in their lives, it’s a good thing. I kind of forgot my rule with your son.” I stopped at my car and forced a smile to my face. “I’ll meet you at your place?”

  I barely had the words out before my phone was ringing. I glanced at the caller ID and gave Jared an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. One second.” I swiped my screen and brought it to my ear. “This is Stephanie.”

  “Stephanie, this is Sam in dispatch. We have a report of domestic incident involving a twelve-year-old boy. He and his mom are currently at St. Helen’s Hospital in Chandler. Can you respond?”

  Chandler was at least thirty minutes away if traffic cooperated and there was no telling how long I’d actually be there once I arrived. I knew right away that I wouldn’t have time to get the home visit done with Jared before Chris went home the next day.

  “I’m on my way. Can you email me all of the information, please?” Same confirmed and I hung up my phone before shaking my head apologetically. “I’m going to have to cancel on you, City Roast.”

  I waited for Jared to get upset but he just smiled. “I understand. Someone needs to save the world, might as well be you.”

  “I’m hardly saving the world,” I replied with a chuckle. “I’m not going to be able to get your home inspection done before tomorrow, though. Did you get a car seat?”

  He nodded and gestured me towards his car where he opened the back door. I bent down and leaned inside so I could inspect the installation of the car seat base, nodding my head in satisfaction as I did.

  “It’s perfect.” I pulled out of the car and Jared’s eyes darted to my face from where they’d been on my ass. He gave me an embarrassed smile and cleared his throat.

  “Thanks to YouTube. I went to the store with that list you gave me the other night. The people of Target hate me because I kept them there after closing but I ended up getting everything you wrote down. I already have the bassinet and rocking chair set up and I’ll do everything else this afternoon.”

  I sighed and folded my arms over my chest. “I wish all of my parents cared a quarter as much as you do.” I glanced back at the car and shook my head. “Can I do the visit later this week?”

  “Of course. I have nowhere to go for the next two months.” He paused and gave me a serious look. “You can come by just to see him, you know. Anytime you want.”

  I stared at him for a moment
as all sorts of emotions ran through me. I was a weird mix of sad, happy, grateful, and something else that I couldn’t place.

  “Thanks, Jared. Really. That means a lot to me.” My phone chimed with the email from dispatch and I held it up. “I have to go, though. You’re going to do great. I promise. Call me anytime.”

  He nodded and held his hand up in a wave. “Thank you, Stephanie.”

  “Of course. I’ll talk to you soon.” I grinned at him before turning to rush back to my car.

  I drove to Chandler and spent almost five hours at the hospital with the battered mother and son. When they both refused to admit that the father was the one who’d hurt the son, the police promised to look into it and I opened a file on the family so we could make multiple home visits in the future.

  I was on my way back home when my phone rang and I pushed a button on the steering wheel to answer it.

  “Hey, Lyss.”

  “Are you working tonight?” Alyssa asked by way of greeting and I smiled.

  “I’m off call in exactly one hour. Why? What’s up?”

  She let out a small cheer. “Good. Get your ass home. I had a shit day. I have the new Baywatch movie that has Zac Efron and The Rock. We’re going to watch those hunky boys while we eat popcorn and gorge on this new wine I bought. I won’t let you say no.”

  “Well, I guess I have no choice, then.” I smiled as I maneuvered my car onto the freeway. “Give me thirty minutes and I’ll stop to grab chocolate on my way.”

  “And that is why we are best friends,” Alyssa said with a laugh. “See you soon.”

  Chapter Ten

  Jared

  I woke up Sunday morning feeling like I was going to throw up.

  It all still felt like a joke. Less than two weeks before, I’d been a certified workaholic and a confirmed bachelor who was slowly trying to woo my coffee buddy. Suddenly, I was a father to a two-week-old baby and asking my boss if I could do some work from home while I figured my shit out.

  Luckily I was damn good at my job and doing it from home wouldn’t be too hard. My boss, who happened to be the CEO, was really understanding when I explained everything that had happened. I would have to go into the office occasionally but I was hoping that Chris and I would have some time alone together before that happened.

  And hopefully time together would help me figure out how to keep him alive.

  I’d spent a lot of time on the internet over the past seven days. I’d googled everything from making bottles to changing diapers and even tried to figure out how to swaddle. I bought everything Stephanie had told me I needed and even caved to some of the gimmicky stuff. I would need to hide the wipes warmer when she came over…

  I read up on SIDs- something I almost wish I hadn’t done-, diaper rashes, infant fevers, and every other ailment I could think of. I just hoped I was ready.

  I traveled down the elevator shortly after eight with the diaper bag in my hand. I’d packed everything in it that the internet had recommended and had no idea if it was enough.

  As I stepped out of the elevator, the friendly doorman smiled at me from behind the counter before rushing around to get the door. No matter how many times I told him I could do it, Howie still insisted on being the one to get it for me.

  “Today’s the big day, isn’t it, Mr. Hart?”

  I nodded and swallowed nervously. “It is. I’m going to go have breakfast with a few guys from work and then pick him up. The hospital said around ten.”

  Howie had been a huge help in everything. I spilled my guts to him the night I’d gone to the hospital for the first time and he had basically talked me down off the ledge. He also helped me figure out how to fold the damn stroller when I moved it out to my car. He had six children of his own, along with eighteen grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. He was a plethora of information.

  “I’m excited to meet the young fellow,” he replied with an encouraging nod. “It will all work out.”

  “I hope so.” I sighed and reached into my pocket for my keys. “Thanks, Howie. See you in a bit.”

  After placing the diaper bag in the backseat, I got in my Subaru and wondered for the tenth time if I should have traded it in for something a bit bigger now that I had a kid. I figured if it was too small, Stephanie would have said something when she checked the car seat.

  I had almost asked her if she would be at the hospital when I picked him up today but I couldn’t be sure that wasn’t crossing some imaginary line. It wasn’t like I hadn’t had female friends before but I had never had a female friend that I wanted so much. On top of the friendly thoughts I had about her, I had many very unfriendly thoughts, too.

  The small diner I was meeting my friends at wasn’t too far from the hospital and both of them were already there when I arrived. Travis waved at me the second I stepped through the door and I smiled at the hostess before heading to the table. I pulled out a chair and sat across from Dave. Both men greeted me and Travis slapped me on the back.

  “How are you feeling, Daddy?”

  I ran a hand down my face and sighed. “Were you this nervous when you brought your girls home from the hospital?”

  “Nah.” He shook his head and opened his menu. “But I had my wife and she knows a hell of a lot more about babies than I did. Hell, than I still do. The only reason all three of them made it past one is because of Liz.”

  Dave leaned forward and knocked the menu out of Travis’s hands. “Shut up. You’re not helping.” He turned his eyes on me and nodded once. “It’s going to be great. Exhausting, but great. You and the kid will have a routine down in no time. It’s hard but worth it, Jare.”

  The two of us had met our freshmen year of college since we both took so many business classes. Our friendship had been easy and permanent and we ended up sharing an apartment for the rest of our college careers. Even after he moved to Arizona, we had kept it touch constantly. I was there for him as his best man at his wedding, when his two kids were born, and stood by his side when his wife had served him with divorce papers because she need ‘more freedom.’

  Since he was the sales manager at Vandines, I had the opportunity to work with him a lot and it had been him who had referred me to the company. He had made the transition to Arizona seamless and now I was soaking up every piece of parenting advice he offered me.

  Travis was one of the leads in our tech department. He was a year younger than us and married with three cute little daughters. He meant well but his playful personality could get irritating sometimes.

  All three of us ordered and talked about anything but kids. Travis had just finished telling us a story about his old fraternity days when I excused myself to use the restroom. On my way out, I took another route back to my table since a group of people were blocking the way I originally came.

  Along the row of booths, I heard a laugh and I knew immediately who it belonged to. Sure enough, seated across from another woman at the end was Stephanie Gibson.

  For the first time since I’d met her, she looked casual rather than professional. With her hair up in a high ponytail, she was wearing a denim jacket and had very little make-up on her face. She smiled at something the woman across from her, a pretty redhead, was saying and I couldn’t help but smile, too.

  As I neared their table, I saw Stephanie freeze even though she hadn’t seen me yet. I came to a stop in front of the table and looked down at her.

  “Vanilla Latte.”

  “City Roast.” She glanced up and the small smile she had on her face transformed into a full on grin. “Can’t handle even a single morning away from me?”

  I shook my head and chuckled at her teasing tone. “Nope. I really can’t.”

  The two of us maintained eye contact for a moment and it was only broken when Stephanie flinched.

  “Ow. I mean- Jared, this is my best friend, Alyssa Hogan. Alyssa, this is Jared Hart.”

  The redhead smiled, focusing her crystal blue eyes
on me as she held out her hand. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard quite a bit about you.”

  “I hope they’re all good things,” I replied, shaking her hand lightly before gesturing to their empty dishes. “Just finishing up?”

  “Yeah, what about you?” Stephanie reached up and subtly ran a hand across her hair. I nodded and glanced behind me even though I couldn’t see my table from where we were.

  “I’m here with a few friends from work. One last meal out before I started having a constant dining companion.”

  “The cutest dining companion, though,” she added with a grin. I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders.

  “Very true. I’m going to go pick him up after this.” I blew out a breath. “I’m nervous as all hell.”

  “You’re going to do great. I’m very rarely wrong.”

  I laughed and kept my eyes on hers. “I don’t doubt that. I’ll let you two get back to breakfast but I’ll talk to you this week?”

  “Definitely.” She nodded and tilted her head slightly as she looked up at me. “We’ll work out a time for me to come over. Give Chris a kiss for me?”

  “I will.” I smiled at her friend. “It was nice meeting you, Alyssa. And Stephanie…” I focused my gaze on her beautiful, pale blue eyes. “It’s always good seeing you.”

  Without waiting for her to reply, I turned to head back to my table. I was only a couple of feet away when Stephanie said, “Ouch! Stop kicking me!

  “That’s your coffee buddy?” It sounded like Alyssa was trying to whisper but it was more like a whisper-yell.

  “You didn’t have to kick me, bitch,” Stephanie grumbled in reply. “That really hurt.”

  I laughed and kept walking, too far away to hear them in the busy diner anymore. It was nice to know that Stephanie was just as affected by me as I was her, though.