by Leah Adams
Jay had always seemed so on edge. He always made sure people knew just what he would do to them if they tried to cross a line he didn’t want to be crossed, yet here I was talking to him like I did even care.
But I didn’t care. I thought in my head and looked at him. He may be beautiful, rich, smart, and well perfect, but I wasn’t going to let him walk all over me just like he did the others in school.
“Well I noticed you.” I admitted with a shrug.
“Really?”
“Yeah it’s hard not to.”
“Because I’m tall, dark, and handsome.” He laughed.
“No, because you have an attitude problem, you’re a man whore, and well you miss school all the time.” I reported, but for what every reason he still got all A’s and has never been kicked out of school.
“Well I think I am going to start thinking about going to school more often. It might be more interesting than I thought.” He told me as he pulled up on my block.
I ignored him. “My house is that one.”
“It’s so middle class.” He smiled as he stopped the car looking at my house.
“Thanks.” I told him putting my hand on the door. I decide not to say anything snappy back and just let him have this one. “Well thanks again for the ride and see you in school.” In the back of my mind I thought that I would see him in school, but him talking to me was a whole another issue. He wasn’t going to speak to me after this, but I didn’t care too much.
“How about I see you this weekend?” He asked before I could get out of the car.
I turned to look at him my eyes becoming wide shocked by his question. “Why would you want to see me?”
“I find you interesting, so how about it?”
“I’m babysitting.”
“I can help.”
“No thanks.” I said and got out of his car.
I walked up to my house feeling slightly angry at myself for turning down his offer. I could have said yes just to be noisy and find out more about him and his brothers, I knew no was the best answer for us both.
If I had said yes, then I was going to be nothing more but another girl he used. His interested would soon run out and I would be left with nothing.
Before I walked into my house I turned back to look at him and I saw his eyes on me. He was watching me just like he had before, like he already had me, but I just didn’t realize it yet.
Chapter 3
Attack
I was dreaming. I just knew I was dreaming. This kept running through my head as I looked out into the darkness. I had to be dreaming. There was no way I was awake right now.
“Why do you think that?” Jay asked as his hand ran down my body making me shiver.
It was too dark for me to really see in front of me, but he for whatever reason was as bright as a star.
I had no idea where we were, but I didn’t really care. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him he was to handsome, to perfect.
“Because this can’t be real.” I whispered as he pulled me to him. I felt his body on mine and I nearly shivered, again. I loved the feeling of his touch and I didn’t want it to stop. He kissed me up my neck and I bit my bottom lip.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” He asked and I couldn’t find my voice. “I can’t hear you.” He said as he bit down on my neck.
I shivered and whispered yes. Just as his beautiful lips were about to touch mine, I jumped up. My eyes looked right into big blue ones and I let out a scream. I soon saw that it was Luria and she too was screaming.
“Luria, what is wrong with you?” I asked then fell back on my bed.
“Granny said up with you.” Luria laughed as she shook her blonde hair. “She said you watching me not her.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “Right I am.”
“Well can you get me something to eat.” She said jumping on my bed. “And can we play at the park.”
“I’ll fix you something if you stop.” I yelled.
“And the park.” She yelled back still jumping up and down.
I wanted to call her mother and say I take it back. I am not watching her. I rolled my eyes at her and shook my head yes.
She smiled and stopped jumping on my bed. Luria set on my bed her huge eyes staring at me in wonder. I stared back at her wondering why she was staring at me.
“What?” I asked as she kept looking at me.
“I am hungry.” She laughed and got up from my bed. She stared at me for a few moments than grabbed my hand trying to pull me. “Up now.”
“Fine.” I let out and got up from the bed.
It was a Saturday morning and I had been hoping to sleep in, but no I had to watch the little monster like I promised. I wasn’t at all looking forward to this morning with my niece. I believed it was due to the fact that she was a very demanding little girl who wanted attention at all cost.
As I stared at her I began to wonder why she wasn’t watching cartoons like children did at her age. Then again she probably wasn’t watching cartoons because she liked to brother people more then she liked cartoons.
Honestly I believed it was due to the fact that her mother and father just had a new baby so they didn’t have as much time to spend with her as they used to. No wondered Luria tried to get attention from anyone she felt would give it to her. So in her little four year old head waking me up so I could do something with her was way better than watching anything on TV.
Before I could stop myself Jay came to my mind. I had just had a dream about him and me wanting to kiss him. I licked my lips and hit my head.
Jay was everything I didn’t like in a guy.
Rude, self-centered, and too smart for his own good.
These three facts alone made me not like him one bit. But it was these same facts that made me want to know more about him. The him that he wasn’t showing to anyone. My mind wondered if there was even more to him than he showed to everyone. Maybe he was what you show is what you get. But for some strange reason I didn’t think that.
I hadn’t even talked to him that long to really get to know him and partly didn’t want to get to know him on his terms, but on mine. I knew that I would never go out with him as long as he had that I am better then you attitude and the look that said we have had sex, (like he already knows what sex with you would be like even if you two have even kissed yet), traits.
But that didn’t stop me from thinking about him. This was against my better judgment and I really wouldn’t tell anyone about this, least of all him. Jay is going to keep on thinking that I don’t think about him at all and that I can’t stand him.
“Aunt-t are you coming?” I heard Luria say with a frown.
I shook my head I followed her down the steps and into the kitchen. I could smell something good coming from the kitchen. I was silently hoping that my sister had cooked something for Luria to eat and all I had to do was just placed it in the oven. I sighed when I saw that my mother was in the kitchen fixing something to eat.
She was so busy cooking she didn’t notice the fact that me and Luria had walked into the room. Her long blonde hair was done up in a bun and some of its pale pieces were falling out.
Her black suit hugged her slim frame loosely and showed off her perfections well. She had on black heels. She was moving a mile a minute and I was very surprise that she hadn’t fell in the long slim heels. Then again she always wore heels; I don’t think there was a time when she wore flats when she went to work.
“Hi mom,” I said as I stared at the pancakes that she was cooking.
My mom jumped as if she had been caught doing something that she wasn’t supposed to be doing. Her blue eyes stared at me then she shook her head.
“Hello sweetie.” She smiled and added something in her pancakes that she was cooking. I stared at the green things that she put into the pancake mix and frowned widely. She never would just cook things the way the box said to. “I’m getting ready for work.”
“The food smells good.” I smiled at her.<
br />
It did smell very good but I wasn’t sure if it was going to taste good as well. I didn’t even know what that green stuff was that she had put into the pancake mix.
“Yes, it will taste even better.” My mom laughed.
I heard Luria sigh loudly. This made me turn to look at her. Her blue eyes stared back at me with this annoyance that matched my mother’s same look I almost laughed.
“I’m hungry.” Luria said then stared at me and I stared back at her. She had already sat down at the table and even had a fork in her hand. “I want pancakes, too.”
“Mom, why didn’t you make her something?” I said as I eyed the pancakes that now looked good enough to eat. “Since you where cooking.”
“Because I am not watching her, you are.” My mom said as she started to put the pancakes on a plate. “I told your sister that I was working today so I am not going to do…..”
“Ok mom. I just asked.” I said to her not wanting to hear her go into her little rant about not having any babies. She always said that her children were grown and she didn’t have to look after us like she had to when we were little.
I always wanted to tell her that if that was true, then why she treated me like a little girl and not the quote on quote adult she called me. But I was not stupid enough to ever asked such a question that would have me grounded until my eighteen birthday and that was only if I moved out by then.
My eyes stared at the things that I needed to use to make Luria the pancakes she wanted. I just hoped that I could make the pancakes taste good. She knew I wasn’t any good in the kitchen. Cooking had always been something I had wanted to know how to do, but for whatever reason could never do.
Mary had begun to cook most of the meals just as soon as she was able to be allowed to use the oven. She had gone to her friend’s house and learned how to cook from one of her friend’s mothers.
She had fallen in love with the kitchen when she was a little girl. I still remembered her when she would go around saying she was going to be the best chef in the world and beat all the guys who thought they could cook better than the girls.
The memory made me want to laugh.
Mary had soon lost interest in cooking once she hit sixteen. She had found out boys and make-up had been more fun in her opinion. Once the boy crazy years had passed, she and her now husband had a great relationship she found a new passion, law.
She loved to argue and prove she was right in every way. So when she got into Harvard and turned it down to stay with her boyfriend to raise a family it had shocked our parents, but I think the real reason she stayed –other than her love for her husband-was to show our parents-our mom- that she wasn’t going to listen to their every word anymore.
I grabbed the pancake mix and began to hope that it would come out right. My eyes went to my mom who was sitting eating and drinking some coffee. Her eyes stared at her paper. It made me feel like she wasn’t even paying any attention to the world around her.
This made me upset. She knew I was no good at this yet she was still going to have me cook only to get me upset at watching Luria.
She would have cooked something for my friends if they had stayed the night, but anything dealing with Mary and her choice not to listen to her always made my mom try to remind me just what she would do if I did the same thing.
My mom could be so mean when she wanted. She was still so upset at Mary that she wanted Mary to do all of this on her own. I don’t think my mom would be happy until Mary had a college degree and maybe even went back to listening to what she thought Mary should do.
I began to make the pancakes as I listened to Luria as she hummed a new hit that has been playing all over the radio. The pancakes were almost done when my mother got up and put her dish in the sink.
“Now I want you to clean up after yourself and I don’t want you to be out too late.” She told me as she grabbed her car keys.
“I won’t.”
“Well I will see you later.” She said and left out of the room.
I put Luria food on the plate and placed it on the table. She put whatever it was she wanted on it and began to eat. My eyes watched her and I was about to fix myself something to eat when I remembered Angelica.
Moving my legs from the kitchen went to the phone in the hallway. I dialed the number as I stared at Luria out of the corner of my eyes. I could clearly see her eyes as she glared at me. She must have been upset with me for not paying much attention to her.
“Hello.” I heard what I thought was her mother voice.
“Hi, may I please speak to Angelica.” I asked getting ready to yell at Angelica for not calling last night.
“Oh, she is sick. Is this Bonnie?”
“Yes.” I said now knowing it was her mother. I began to wonder how she had gotten sick; she was fine the other day.
“Bonnie, it’s nice to hear from you dear. Angelica got sick last night. After she came home she was so cold and her eyes looked so….well I think she got the flu from someone while she was out.” Her mother laughed. “I know how kids catch things so easily, but call her tomorrow. I’m sure after she’s had a good day of rest she’ll be fine.”
I shook my head forgetting she couldn’t see me.
“Ok, thank you. Nice talking to you.” I said and then hung up the phone.
How could Angelica be sick? When I talked to her on the phone briefly she seemed fine, besides the fact to how she was acting. I laughed to myself. Being sick could make you act mean.
“I’m done.” I heard Luria as she yelled at me.
“Oh ok.”
I went into the kitchen and cleaned up her plate. I was upset. Angelica was sick and I just couldn’t really shake what was wrong with her. It just didn’t make sense.
She had been with Damon that night and I wondered if he had be sick to. I shook my head at that thought. Damon was not sick, he was just rude. I don’t know why she had even kissed that jerk.
“Aunt-t lets go to the park.” Luria wined and even stomped down her foot. “Some of my friends are going to be there, so I want to go to.”
“Fine.” I said suddenly.
I wasn’t in the mood to argue with her, even if she was slightly getting on my nerves. I could hear Angelica saying that she would never argue with a ‘child’. She was too old for that.
“I’ll go put my shoes on.” Luria said and ran from the room.
My eyes watched after her and I looked out the window in the living room. It looked like it was going to be a nice day. It was sunny and looked like it was hot, something that it wasn’t last night.
Last night the cold air had wrap around me like a blanket. I was surprised I hadn’t gotten sick. Maybe that was how Angelica had gotten sick. She hadn’t had a coat on just like me. Maybe she had stayed outside too long. I wanted to just call her back and tell her mother to just let me talk to her for a moment or so.
“I’m ready aunt-t.” Luria told me pulling me from my thoughts.
“Here I come.”
I put my shoes on and followed her out the door. I had been right. It was nice outside. The heat felt good across my skin, so did the sun. It was like I could feel sunrays already darken my skin.
“Do you want to walk or you want me to drive?” I asked Luria as she stared up at the blue almost cloudless sky.
Luria looked like she was thinking over her answer then shrugged her shoulders. “Walk, I guess.”
I shook my head and grabbed her hand.
“It’s about ten blocks.” I said to her.
“I don’t care.”
“Ok.” I said.
Luria didn’t even seem to mind walking the ten blocks. She hadn’t said anything as we walked hand in hand. I had even thought that something may be wrong with her. She was all ready to talk to bother me only moments ago but now she seemed distance and ready to leave me alone. I hoped I wasn’t the reason for this. I didn’t want her to think I didn’t enjoy spending time with her.
Even though at times sh
e could get on my last nerves, I still loved her and wanted her to know that.
“Are you okay?” I asked her, seeing that we were only a few blocks from the park.
“Yup,” She said, looking up at me.
“Why aren’t you animated anymore?” I asked looking at her. My mind was ready to hear whatever she was going to say. She put a smile on her face and let go of my hand then hugged me.
“I love you Aunt-t Bonnie.” She whispered and I had no idea where that had come from. She pulled away from me and smiled.
I opened my mouth to ask her what was that for but she cut me off.
“Let’s race.” She laughed and took off. My eyes stared at her and I shook my head.
“That’s cheating.” I yelled and started to run after her. I wasn’t trying to run fast or even trying to win. I just wanted to play with her. As I watched her run I thought that maybe that was what she wanted for someone to play with her and not ignore her.
“You can’t catch me.” She yelled back and when we both reached the park we started to laugh. “There are my friends.” She told me pointing at a few kids running around.
I looked around the park, seeing swings, slides, and even seesaws. There were parents sitting over on some benches talking to one another while they laughed and watched the children in front of them.
“I can play?” She asked.
Her voice was telling me something her words weren’t. She was asking for me not to come play with her. Luria didn’t want me-who would be considered a grownup- over there with her friends. She wanted to be with her friends right now and I understood that. I too wanted to be with my friends.
“Go ahead, have fun.” I told her shaking my head. “I’ll be over there.”
I pointed to a bench that was on the other side of the park. I didn’t want to go sit with the parents who were watching their kids. I would feel so out of place, for I knew I was only a year younger then my sister was when she was about to have Luria.
My legs carried me over to the bench and I looked around watching Luria as she played with her friends. I started to remember when I was her age. Life seemed too easy, yet so sweet, and nice. Now it was a different story.