AnglingforLove

by Lea Barrymire

  “You know I love you too. I just don’t want you making another mistake. Can’t you come home and relax for a year or two before you jump into another relationship?” She could hear the pleading in his voice.

  “I understand your concerns. I really do. I mean, I was so stupid about Robert. But these guys are different.”

  “How can you be so sure? Your choice in men has sucked so far. What if they’re just as bad?” He blew out a breath. “Between you and Jason your mother would be fit to be tied.”

  Anger, hot and painful, shot through her. “Don’t you dare bring Mom into this. She’d accept Jason for who he is. A loving, understanding wonderful son who is gay. I don’t know how many times I can apologize for my mistakes. Look, I need to call the Philly PD. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Wait. I’m sorry. Shit. You’re right. I’m just floundering here. I thought I’d get you back for a little bit, but it seems that I’m losing you again already. I haven’t even seen you since you chucked Robert out the door.”

  “I know. Look. Why don’t you head to Philly and stay with me for a couple days? I’d love to see you and could use the company.”

  “Okay. I miss you so much, kiddo. I know you think you’re in love with these guys, but you’re rebounding from Robert. Just don’t lose yourself to them like you did with that asshole.”

  “I won’t. They won’t let me. They really are great to me. You’ll see.”

  “Okay.” She heard the disbelief in his voice. “I love you. Now call the police and call me back later with whatever you find out. And think about me coming out there and flying home with you. If you want me to just let me know.”

  “I will. Talk to you later.”

  Sobs shook her and she dropped her head to her knees. Why had she ever thought that her dad would accept her having a relationship with Brent and Jared? She’d lose him again. The urge to call Jason and talk to him was strong. He’d know what to do about their father and would help to soothe her concerns. But admitting to her brother that she was thinking about a permanent ménage would be hard. He’d be more understanding, hopefully, but he’d see this as a mistake as well. Maybe they were right. Perhaps she was being taken advantage of. Her heart throbbed with the thought.

  She needed to call the police, needed to figure out how to change her flight so she could head home, needed to talk to the guys. None of it was going to be easy. She wanted to just curl up and let it all go away, but it wouldn’t. She tried to get a grip on her tears but the sobs continued to come, shaking her and ripping their way out of her throat.

  “Hey, Arin…take a deep breath. It’ll all be fine.” Brent’s deep voice filtered through her panic. He was squatting in front of her, worry etched on his face. He smiled when she looked up. “There you are. You had me worried for a minute there.”

  She looked around and absently swiped at the moisture on her cheeks. Her hands came away wet. With an irritated rub, she cleaned her face. Hiccups started and anger followed. If she was going to fall apart she’d wait until she could do it in solitude and after she’d handled this chaotic mess.

  “I’m okay. Just having a bit of a meltdown.” She looked around again and took a shuddering breath. “Could we head back to the lodge? I need to call the police back home and I really would like to be near a notepad and pen for that.”

  He studied her for a long time. She feared he’d see her thoughts. He leaned forward and placed a warm palm on her cheek. “Are you sure you’re all right, darlin’? I don’t want you going back without us if you’re upset. If you give me a minute I can come with you.”

  She thought for a moment. Riding back with one of them would be nice, but she wanted to speak to the police and get some decisions made. “I really need to go back. I’m okay, I promise. Just a weak moment.”

  He sighed. “If you say so. Why don’t you take the four-wheeler back? Jared and I will grab the gear and take the other one together.”

  She stood on shaky legs. She smiled and tried to joke with him to lighten the mood. “Okay, but if I ding it up or something, it’s your fault for letting me drive it.”

  He smiled in answer and patted her on the shoulder as he walked past. “Just be careful. We’ll be home in a few.”

  Home. She loved the sound of that. She’d love to always call the lodge that. Climbing onto the red vehicle gave her a quick thrill and a quicker shot of fear. She started the engine and took off, slowly making her way up the hill toward the house. She’d have enough time for that shower-cry and her call before the boys made it back. Then she’d talk them into a nice dinner and some cuddling, because she was in desperate need of some strong arms.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Thanks, Officer Stewart. Please let me know what else I need to do.” Arin hung up the phone and flopped back into the computer chair. “Emotionally wrung out” summed up the empty pit in her stomach. She closed her eyes and pressed her head into the back of the chair. “Wow.”

  “So can you tell us what’s going on now? I’ve been keeping Brent out of your hair but he’s starting to chew through his restraints.” Jared’s adorable dimples flashed as he stuck his head around the door.

  “Yeah, give me a minute. I’ll come out there.” She gathered her notes and stood, running her hand over the smooth wood of Brent’s desk. Her mind was having a tough time processing everything the officer had told her. The feel of something so solid under her palm helped to ground her. She was angry and disappointed with herself for not seeing the truth. Scared—no, terrified of what the future would hold. She pressed her hand down until her skin went white from the pressure. The world is the same, just some of the truths I’d held on to weren’t actually true. Small comfort after the conversation she’d just had.

  When she stepped into the hallway Brent was standing against the wall, silent and still. He looked as strung-out as she felt. He opened his arms and she didn’t even hesitate. She needed to feel him wrapped around her. Walking into his arms was the smartest thing she’d done all day.

  “Come on. Jared’s making you some hot chocolate, we’ve got a fire going in the living room and we’re going to lie around in a pile until you’re either too hungry or too tired to worry anymore.”

  With a nod she let Brent lead her down the short hallway and laughed when she saw what they’d been up to. On the floor was a sea of blankets of every color and type, each one spread out like a picnic blanket. Pillows were scattered in a wide circle and in the middle sat a lounging Jared. At his elbow was a large, steaming cup. She could see miniature marshmallows floating around in the drink and she couldn’t stop the chortle from slipping through her lips even as tears prickled her eyes. These men were so good to her.

  “Come here, babe. Sit with me for a few minutes while Brent gets dinner out of the oven. He did something wonderful with your trout.” He patted the floor next to him and she stepped into the ring of pillows.

  She sat where he indicated and took the mug he offered. The heat infused some strength back into her arms and dispelled some of the chill residing in her chest. She sipped the cocoa and moaned. It was perfect. Sweet, chocolatey and creamy. “This is so good. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Now sit back and relax.” He pulled her against his chest, giving her a place to lean while she sipped the drink. His large, rough hands moved along her arms. The caress bordered on seductive. Soft, feathery trails that brought goose bumps to her skin as he leisurely swept his hand up and down. Concentrating on the deliciousness of the light touches brought a measure of comfort to her and helped to bring her tumultuous thoughts back under her control.

  Flames danced in the fireplace and warmed her face. The guys had put quite a few logs in the hearth and they burned brightly. The smell of wood smoke wafted to her and she sucked it into her lungs. It reminded her of the night they’d spent snuggling in front of the campfire. She smiled against the lip of the cup at the memory. “I love the fire.”

  “We do too. Even in summer we
have fires sometimes.” His answer was low, just above a whisper.

  She leaned back against his chest and closed her eyes. They sat like that for a while. She listened to the pop and crackle of the fire as she drank the cocoa. It was exactly what she needed. The comfort soaked into her bones and drove out the chill of loneliness. Jared’s chest held her up, the fire warmed her and the feel of his hands chased any lingering bad feelings away. Nothing else mattered. She shut down the problems, the anger, the fear of losing her father, the knowledge that her life was about to take a huge fork in the road. For once she wanted to be immersed in the moment. She opened her eyes and took another long drink, staring into the fire. If perfect moments exist, this is one of them.

  “Have you ever burned those hose and copper pipe things so the flames are different colors?” The question came to her lips while she stared into the fire. Jared shook his head, rubbing his chin across the top of her head. “My dad used to make them. If you take a four- or five-inch length of copper pipe and feed it into a piece of garden hose, you know like water hose from outside? Anyway, if you do that and then burn it, the flames are different colors. I’m sure it’s not the best for the environment but it really is a neat thing.”

  “You’ll have to show me sometime. I’m sure the kids who come on tours with their parents would get a kick out of that.”

  She smiled. She used to love those kinds of things when she camped with her dad. A fresh wave of agony washed over her. What would she do if he truly couldn’t accept her relationship with the guys? Would she give them up for her father? She knew the answer was no and that added guilt to her turmoil. If her dad could just meet them, hang out and see that they were nothing like Robert… A thought struck and made her gasp. “Could my dad come here with me sometime? He would love it here.”

  Jared gave her a strange look before scowling. “Babe, your dad is welcome any time he’d like to be here. I know we haven’t talked about it much, but I’d still like to think you’ll be here with us.”

  “I know, and that’s something we’ll have to talk about. But with all this stuff with Robert and my car…” She sighed. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to come back. I’ve got to go home for a while and deal with this mess. Then there’s my job, my apartment, my family.”

  “Shhh, don’t. Don’t start putting up roadblocks. We’ll deal with this as it comes, okay? Tonight we need to find out what happened. Then we’ll take on tomorrow. Nothing more.”

  She wished she could live like that, one day at a time. She nodded though. No need to get him all upset when she was concerned enough for everyone. She sipped her hot chocolate and stared into the flames, letting go of her worries. She’d tell them the story, eat dinner and drag them to bed. That was her plan for the night. She needed to connect with them again. The day had taken forever to come to an end and there were so many emotional loose ends.

  A noise from the kitchen brought her mind back and she turned to watch Brent carrying in a large tray. He set it on the floor near to her and she inhaled the smell of steamed trout and vegetables. Her stomach growled in response.

  “I take it you’re hungry.” Brent smiled down at her. He sat across the circle from them and pulled plates off the tray. “Here. You caught them so you get first pick.”

  She took a plate and slid a steaming fish onto it. She grabbed a piece of the flesh and popped it into her mouth, groaning at the buttery perfection. “Oh Brent, this is fabulous.”

  He seemed pleased with her praise but just waved his fork at her. “You eat up.”

  They sat in relative silence as they ate everything he’d prepared. Arin’s thoughts kept wandering even as the men tried to get her to laugh. Jared even resorted to throwing his baby carrots at Brent’s head, then catching them with an open mouth when they were thrown back. She loved them a little more for trying to make her feel better even though they didn’t know the story. And her heart squeezed a bit when she realized they’d put her need for food and downtime in front of their need for information.

  When she’d eaten all she could, she placed her fork on her plate, crossed her hands in her lap and announced with as much steel in her voice as she could, “Okay. I’m ready to tell you what happened.”

  Brent had been shaking inside from the moment Jared told him about the car. He’d wanted to break something, preferably Robert-the-asshole’s face. Anger and fear coursed through him in alternating waves of searing fire and icy cold. Protecting Arin was a promise he’d made himself, but how could he protect her from the hurt and fear she was feeling? He’d seen it in her eyes at the creek. Felt it in her body when he’d wrapped her in a hug. He waited, digging his fingers into his thigh to stop from fidgeting or shouting his anger.

  “Robert has been arrested. That part we knew already. He was seen by a security guard as he drove around the parking area looking for my car. The guy called the cops when Robert got out and started breaking the windows with a crowbar.” She took a deep breath. “According to the police he then took swings at the guard and at the officers who arrived to check it out. He connected with two of the guys and they had to be treated at the hospital for minor injuries.”

  Brent fought the urge to pull her into his lap when she stopped and took a swig of wine. She continued but her voice was shaky. “He’s being held without bail because he’s a flight risk. Robert had problems during college with a couple of girls and had restraining orders against him. I didn’t even know he was seeing anyone in college other than me. He was cheating on me even then. He…um…he attacked one of the girls and was lucky not to go to jail. He supposedly had to go to counseling.”

  Arin paused for a moment and stared into the fire. “I didn’t know any of that. At the time we’d been attending different schools across the state from each other. He’d often been agitated when we spoke, but he was always like that. I was so clueless. I’d been so blind to his behavior.”

  He couldn’t take it any longer. The pain and confusion that pinched her beautiful face had him moving before he even thought. Brent knelt in front of her, bringing her face to his with a light touch on her chin. When a small smile tilted her lips at the corners, he bent and pressed his mouth to hers. It wasn’t a soul-searing kiss but one of understanding and connection. She wasn’t at fault in this mess and there was no way he’d let her feel like she was.

  When he leaned back from her, the sad little smile she’d had before the kiss had turned into the sensual smile of a siren. God help him, he wanted to take her lips again and push himself so far inside her body that he lost himself. The sexy little grin playing across her lips was so much better than the sadness.

  “You did that on purpose.” She waggled her eyebrows at him and he couldn’t stop his laughter.

  “Yes. I hate seeing you sad. Now. What do you have to do?”

  She took a deep breath but kept her eyes on his. “I have to go back, fill out a report with the police and talk to a lawyer. Robert is being charged with all kinds of things, but the police officer I spoke to suggested I see a lawyer anyway. He said I should make a statement to them and perhaps one here about his behavior.”

  Brent nodded. None of that sounded too bad. His next question was the one that scared him. “What about after all of that?”

  She watched him for a long moment before turning away and staring into the flames. He wasn’t sure she was going to answer, but on a sigh she whispered, “I don’t know.”

  His chest squeezed. She wasn’t planning on coming back. He could see it etched in the wariness on her face. She’d leave the next morning and never return. He’d known. He’d known all along she was wasn’t going to stick around, but to see it on her face after what he’d shared with her was too much.

  Standing quickly, he spun to head upstairs. He didn’t need to sit here and let his pain color the rest of Jared’s last night with Arin. Brent knew, without a doubt, that they’d have sex and whisper long into the night about what they wished could be. But he also knew, deep dow
n, that Arin had never thought to stay. He’d thought her different for a few heartbeats, but she was proving to be like every other female he’d known. Selfish and unwilling to love them.

  “Stop.” He’d made it three steps before her angry voice halted his progress. He turned, ready to let her have it, but came face-to-face with a pissed-off woman. “I’ve seen that look before. Stop lumping me into the same category as the other women you’ve fucked. You don’t have the right to be pissed at me because I have to take care of my life. You don’t have the right to be pissed at me about anything. At this point we’ve discussed me sticking around for a while to see what happens, right? Didn’t I—just today, in fact—tell you that I was falling in love with the two of you? I wasn’t lying. You trusted me enough to tell me your story. Trust me enough to deal with this right now. I didn’t ask for all of this to happen. I would love to ignore the shitstorm brewing, but I have things I have to take care of. I don’t know what I’m going to do beyond tomorrow.” Her voice had dipped as she approached him, a mixture of anger and understanding shining in her eyes. “For Christ’s sake, I’ve just found out that my ex-boyfriend, the only man I’ve ever fucking been with, mind you, is a serial attacker of women. He also beat the shit out of my car badly enough that I may need to replace it. I’ve got too much going on to make a relationship decision. I’m scared—terrified of what I’m going to deal with tomorrow. Give me a break. Trust me just a little, Brent. Just enough not to assume anything.”

  She’d slowly closed the short distance between them and stood waiting. His anger and hurt deflated under her pointed words until all he could see was the sexy vixen standing inches from him, breasts heaving with her emotions. She was right. Trust for him was so difficult. He’d been screwed over by everyone he’d trusted as a child. His parents, teachers—even his Sunday school teacher hadn’t believed him. Spending years in therapy just to have them turn him away after the insurance money ran out. Jared was his rock. If he wanted something with Arin, he needed to loosen the lock on his heart.