The Storm Within

by Christa Ann

  “Who are you trying to convince: you or me? Maybe you should. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that the last time you dated was over six months ago. Go out, have a one-night stand and live. However, please don’t tell me about the one-night stand, or I will have to hunt him down.” He chuckled.

  “I am not going to talk to you about dating and especially sex. I draw the line. I have to go; I need to eat. I’ll call you all when I get home. Love ya, big brother.”

  “I got it. Talk to you later. Tell Liana we all said hi. Please think about working here. I would love to see you more. Love you too, red bug.” With that, they hung up the phone.

  Skye got up and got her bathing suit out of her suitcase. She wanted to go into the water today and maybe the hot tub after to release the knots in her back. Her friends were either eating, sleeping, or already outside.

  Going outside, she headed to the beach and straight into the water where her friends were. They talked about nothing in particular and joked around. They all turned their heads when they heard the deep voices of the men from next door.

  Skye locked glances with Trevor, and she turned her back toward him. She wrapped one arm around her waist with a hand over her heart to protect her from the pain. This was the first time she noticed the rest of her friends looking at them also. She wasn’t the only one having issues with the men next door.

  Getting out, she headed right for the hot tub. “Skye.” She hadn’t even heard Trevor approach.

  “I can’t right now. I’m here to see my friends, and I want to spend some time with them.” She hoped he wouldn’t push, and when he came closer, she held up her hands. “Please, Trevor. I can’t talk right now. Later.”

  “Skye, you okay?” one of her friends asked.

  Not looking at who asked, she said, “I’m fine.” Trevor left, and it hurt her heart to see him leave. But, that was what she wanted, right?

  It took everything in Trevor to turn and leave. But the agony in her voice nearly took him to his knees. He needed to talk to her; they would all be leaving soon. He had no idea what had changed from last night to now.

  Trevor rejoined his friends but couldn’t seem to stop glancing over his shoulder just to see Skye. Some of his friends were doing the same thing. He was glad he wasn’t the only one having problems.

  He ran the conversation he’d had with his father over and over again. Did his father know about his nightmares? Who would’ve told him? Maybe talking to his father again would be the best thing to do.

  He needed to talk to Skye about everything and what had her so spooked. And he needed to do it soon. Skye left with some of her friends before he was able to talk to her. He went inside to play pool or poker. God, I hope Gannon is cooking. They do not want me cooking or it will be soup and sandwiches.

  The day flew by, and before he knew it, dinner called their names, and they all decided to go out. Thank God, I’m not cooking. Even though he really wanted to see Skye, he had a great time. The others talked about their jobs and family. He wanted to confide in his friends about the failed mission, the informant, and getting shot. He couldn’t tell them, or he would have to admit how he’d screwed up, gotten his informant killed, some of his team and himself shot. He hadn’t gone with his gut and it cost them all, some with their lives.

  No one had blamed him, and his commanding officers confirmed there had been a leak within and canceled the next mission. Commander Ward refused to see another soldier fall. He’d been secretly glad it was canceled, but hadn’t told them that. Fear had no place in a soldier while on a mission.

  Trevor had way too much beer at dinner and didn’t think Skye would appreciate him talking to her reeking of beer. So, he did the only thing he could, he went back to the house and went to bed. He would get with Skye tomorrow.

  Starring up at the ceiling, he wondered if Skye was thinking about him. He wanted her there in bed with him. He would run his hands over her smooth skin and find all her most sensitive spots.

  With Skye on her back, he would roll to his side, his head leaning against his fist. He could almost feel her skin, his fingers trailing down between her breasts, over her stomach and lower. He would lean in, kissing and nipping her neck and inhaling the smell of lavender on her. He wanted to know if it was her shampoo, body wash, or her natural scent.

  I am not going to be able to sleep tonight.

  7

  Skye slept on and off; she needed to talk to Trevor. She also needed to decide what to do about her job. Was she going back? Could she go back? She felt her insides heating up and her stomach getting nauseous. Was it too much stress, alcohol from last night, or hunger? It was probably a little bit of everything.

  By eight she had no choice but to get out of bed and get something to eat. She’d been ignoring the calls and light knocks on the door asking if she was awake. She just curled up in bed and pretended no one was there.

  Skye had stayed in bed for only one reason. She didn’t want to face Trevor and try to explain she wanted to be just friends and that she couldn’t get involved with someone, especially long distance. They would be leaving soon, and she would never see him again. Why start something that would only end sooner rather than later?

  She didn’t care that the thought of leaving and not seeing Trevor’s smile, strong shoulders, and those muscled arms made her heart hurt. She would miss seeing the sun shining off his naked chest. Oh, for the love God. I have to stop imaging him without his clothes on.

  By the time she ate with her friends then left the beach house, it was after eleven. Trevor and some of his friends were outside on the beach talking. They went over to talk to the guys and walked into the ocean. The group talked, waded waist deep in the water, and collected more shells. After a while, burgers and hot dogs were fixed along with chips, salad, fruit and drinks. After eating, Skye went inside to shower and change.

  Going out the front door, she saw Trevor standing by his car on the phone. As soon as he saw her, he got off the phone and headed right for her.

  “Hey, there. I’m glad you’re outside. We need to talk.” There, right to the point.

  Trevor stood only one step away. “Yes, we do.” She glanced around. “Why don’t we sit on the steps?”

  At the bottom step, Skye sat down with her feet and knees together and hands crossed around her stomach. She leaned against the railing to give him enough room so they wouldn’t be touching.

  Both of them just sat there not saying anything. She knew what she had to say, but every time she tried to speak the words out loud, they got stuck in her throat. Why couldn’t she just say, ‘We had a nice time together, but we both know it won’t last’? She just couldn’t get those words out. She rubbed her sweaty hands on her shorts, her nerves getting the best of her.

  “Have you had fun with your friends?” She decided to start small, but she couldn’t bring herself to face him. Instead, she peeked over at him slightly.

  Trevor turned with his back against the railing and stared at her for what seemed like an hour. “Yes. I always enjoy seeing my friends. You?”

  “Oh, yes I enjoy seeing them,” Skye replied, but she still didn’t face him fully. She didn’t understand why it was so damn hard. Maybe if she stood up she would get her confidence.

  Standing up and putting her best therapist mask on, she turned only to notice that Trevor now stood too. “Trevor, we will both be heading back to our own lives in separate states. So, I believe it would be best for both of us to say goodbye now. I had a lovely time, however what’s happened here at the beach… we will just chalk it up to the romantic atmosphere.” Perfect. Please, just say goodbye.

  He didn’t say a word. Just glared at her with wide eyes; she didn’t know if he was stunned or shocked. “I am not clear what you are saying.”

  She knew he was full of shit. Needing to move in order to keep him at a distance, she headed to the side of the house, and he, of course, followed. “We can be friends, but that’s it.”

  “Friends
.” Trevor said the word very slow and in a monotone voice.

  She hated when anyone sounded or talked that way, even herself. “Yes, friends. If you don’t want to be friends, I guess that’s okay too. But, I would really like to keep in touch.”

  Again, he said, “Friends.”

  “Will you say something else besides the word friends in that voice? It’s really starting to piss me off.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she hoped to get him to just give up and leave. Skye didn’t have the strength to move.

  They both stood there facing each other. Not realizing what he planned to do, Trevor reached out and pulled her away from the house. “What are you doing?”

  “Getting us out of sight of your friends and mine. So, no one can hear us.” Trevor moved her toward the front of the guy’s house. He didn’t appear to be happy. His lips were in a firm line, his jaw tensed, and his brows pushed together.

  Skye tried to remove her arm from his hand with no success. “Trevor, let me go. It won’t work between us. We just need to end this.” She panted for breath and tried to keep up with his long strides.

  At that, he abruptly stopped and stared, still holding her arm. She cleared her throat. “This will not work between us, Trevor. I just want to be friends.” It hurt her to say that to him.

  8

  Trevor pinned Skye to the side of the house, placing his hands on each side of her head. He was breathing hard and trying to keep his temper in control. “You need to tell me why this will never work.” When all she did was look into his eyes, he went on. “Now, Skye.”

  “Because it won’t work.” Skye’s voice was so low he almost didn’t hear her.

  “That doesn’t answer the question.” He knew he’d raised his voice, but damn it, he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to lose her. The peace he’d felt when he was with her soothed his soul and kept the storm within him at bay. Skye’s smile and laughter warmed his heart. He wanted to make her happy. She was worth fighting for, and he was planning on winning.

  “Everything okay out here?” One of his buddies must’ve heard his raised voice.

  Keeping his eyes on Skye, he hollered up, “Yeah, I’m good. Everything’s okay here. I’ll be in soon.” Not really, but that was what he said. When he heard the door, Trevor took some deep breaths through the nose and out his mouth to calm his racing pulse. “Talk to me. Please.”

  The tears that formed in her eyes almost crushed his heart. But he waited for her to gather her thoughts or calm herself.

  Patience, have patience, Trevor kept telling himself.

  Then, finally, she continued. “I had a patient that came in to see me a couple of times.” She looked deep into his eyes. “He’s military and came back from Afghanistan and wasn’t doing very well after what he went though. So, I started treating him. I really didn’t think he was truly unstable. I did the best I could to help, but he needed more help than our outpatient care facility.”

  When her voice broke on the last word, he pulled her to him and sat down on the ground with his back resting against the wall. What Skye said next didn’t make any sense to him. “We have a sign that says no weapons. No Weapons. I didn’t know.”

  Pulling her more firmly to him, he said, “Know what? What’s his name?”

  “I can’t tell you his name: patient confidentiality. I’d just finished with my patient files, and I walked out of the building to head home. He came out of nowhere and got mad when I told him to come back the next day. I don’t even know he carried a knife in his boot.” She rushed everything out. He had a bad feeling what she would say next.

  “He pulled the knife and demanded that I stay and talk with him. I did, but tried to slowly back step so the security guard inside would see. He must’ve noticed and went to grab me.” She paused before continuing. “Anyway, by the time I got within sight of the front door, he reached for the knife in his boot. Security rushed out; I attempted to get away and was stabbed; the knife went into my back and cut me to my hip. I fell, which gave the guard a clear shot at him without hitting me.”

  Skye started sobbing, which broke his heart. “It’s my fault. I should’ve told him we could go back to me office and the guard would’ve known something was going on.”

  Shocked beyond belief, he turned her face to look at him, “This is not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for not being able to help him. There are going to be people you can’t help. That doesn’t mean you are at fault if you can’t.”

  Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead and moved his hand up and down her back attempting to soothe her.

  With his other hand, Trevor moved her so she could see him better. “I’ve seen scars. I’ve felt scars. Do you think having scars would make anyone think you did something wrong? Or is there something else you need to say?” He had a feeling what was coming next.

  “You said you were in Afghanistan. What did you do over there?” Skye asked.

  “I can’t tell you that; my missions are classified. But I know what you really want to know.” He caressed her lower back and continued. “Do I suffer from PTSD? To be honest: yes. I am plagued by nightmares of the things I’ve seen and had to do. I don’t have them all the time. Do I regret what I’ve done? Sometimes. We soldiers may not like the things we have to do, but we want to come home. Would I do it again? Yes. These guys – brothers – I came here to see, I would take a bullet for them. They are more than Navy buddies; they are family, brothers. I have their six; they have mine. Does that make me a bad person or dangerous to others? No. I deal with it. My therapist helps, gave me techniques that work. I’m better now than when I first started getting counseling. I get mad and angry easy sometimes, but I would never hurt anyone. That I can promise.”

  Leaning in again to kiss her cheek, he whispered, “It’s my military status that scares you, isn’t it? I see it when you look at my dog tags.”

  By the stunned look on her face, he knew that question surprised her. “Yes, a little. Plus, we live in two different states. I can’t do long distance.”

  “I don’t know what else to say or do to make you believe me. I will say this. After being with you, I won’t be re-enlisting in two weeks. I’m out. I’ve had some job offers, and I want out. I just never had a good reason to leave. But, I want you with me.” Trevor scanned her face to see some kind of reaction.

  Skye laid her head on his shoulder, and he held her. “I do want to see where this might go.”

  For the first time, he prayed that everything would work.

  Skye wasn’t sure what to say or do. Closing her eyes, she couldn’t help but relax in Trevor’s arms as he rocked her back and forth. Her head spun with their conversation. A fifty-pound weight lifted from her shoulders. She couldn’t believe she’d told Trevor what happened. His hand moved over her scar and didn’t find it ugly, even though he only felt part of it. She didn’t want to think. She only wanted to feel his strong arms around her, taking away all the hurt and pain.

  Then she felt his lips on her ear. “Baby, wake up. My legs are going numb.” He was chuckling at the end.

  She looked up at him. “I didn’t fall asleep.”

  “Uhm, yes you did. I quite enjoy the little noises you make in your sleep. You sound like a purring kitten.” He lifted her up slightly to stretch his legs out straight.

  Skye was embarrassed that she’d fallen asleep. “I’m sorry. That conversation drained me mentally. Besides my therapist, I haven’t told anyone but my parents and brother about what happened. Well, I did finally tell my closest friend, Liana. She’s one of girls here.”

  What came next she wasn’t sure she heard right. “Not a problem. Stay with me tonight? I don’t want to leave you this time.”

  “Okay, my place or yours?” she replied without thinking.

  “Mine. If that’s okay. Since we are here,” Trevor said, standing up with her still in his arms. Damn, she hadn’t realized just how strong he really was until now.

  Skye didn’t want to intrude
, but wanted to stay in his arms and feel safe. “As long as your friends won’t mind.”

  “Trust me; they won’t,” he replied as he set Skye on her feet.

  Walking up to the front door, he took her up to his room. “Not too organized? I would’ve thought that being in the Navy, you would be neat freak.”

  “Hey, I’m on vacation, so I don’t care. No one will be coming in for inspections.” Trevor walked over to her with a wide smile. “I can give you a shirt or you can wear nothing.”

  She could feel her face heating up and was probably as red as her hair. Not wanting to seem easy, she said, “Your shirt. Bathroom?”

  Trevor handed her a t-shirt he already had in his hand. “Bathroom is right through that door.”

  When Skye came out of the bathroom, Trevor was only in a pair of running shorts. One light was on, and “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran was playing. She looked up into his hazel eyes as he held out his hand. “Dance with me.”

  Moving into his strong arms, they swayed to the music and held each other tight. Moving around the room, he spun her around, smiling down at her. Skye twirled and pressed up against his hard chest. She wanted to stay in this moment, in this time. In his arms, no one could hurt her; she was safe.

  She moved both hands up his chest to his wide shoulders, loving the feel of muscles bunching under her hands and the way his breathing hitched. She couldn’t resist placing a kiss above his heart as she wrapped her arms around his neck again.

  Looking up at him, she saw he had his eyes closed. He opened them the same time his lips lowered to her forehead, and his hands on her lower back pulled her closer. They were both breathing heavy and stopped moving to the music playing.

  Skye spread her hands on each side of his neck and looked up at him. “We shouldn’t be doing this; I can’t deal with all of this. Yet, I want you.”