Starfall: A Starflight Novel

by Melissa Landers

  Hopefully, an early dinner would accomplish the job.

  He reached for his com-link, then caught himself and strode to the speaker embedded in the wall. He wanted to avoid using the link until he knew it was secure. While balancing a stack of bowls on one hand, he used the other to push the intercom button.

  “Dinner’s ready,” he called.

  Renny was the first to arrive. Kane held his breath and kept watch for Cassia while he set the table. More than anyone, he needed her to stay in the galley. Doran and Solara joined them from the lower level, followed by Arabelle and finally Cassia.

  Kane met her at the threshold and handed her a ladle. “Serve the chili, will you? I have to run to the washroom.”

  Cassia gave him a searching look.

  “I’m fine,” he called, already climbing the stairs. “Don’t wait for me.”

  To complete the ruse, he ducked inside the washroom, where he paused at the door until he heard the scrape of utensils. Once he knew the crew had begun eating, he tiptoed up another flight of stairs to the com-center in the bridge. Quickly, he entered the code and held a finger to his lips when the farmer answered.

  “I need to talk to my mom,” Kane whispered. “Hurry.”

  “She’s not here,” Meichael whispered back.

  Kane’s heart jumped. He was too late. “You have to find her and bring her home. The military’s setting a trap. I don’t know where, but they’re using ammo to lure you in. The whole thing’s going down tonight.”

  He hadn’t expected the farmer to smile. “We know.”

  “What?”

  “Badger wasn’t our only informant. Don’t worry about your mother. She won’t be anywhere near the sting operation tonight.”

  Kane blew out a long breath.

  “She’s at a meeting to form a secondary co-op school. A lot of teenagers dropped out when the war started, and most of them haven’t gone back.”

  “That’s nice,” Kane said, not really listening anymore. His mother was safe. That was all he needed to know. “I have to go before anyone finds me here.”

  “I understand, and thank you. We appreciate the warning.”

  Kane shut down the transmission and crept quietly out of the bridge to the stairs. He had just released the nervous tension from his shoulders when he rounded the corner and came face-to-face with Cassia waiting for him on the upper landing.

  He froze.

  His skin flushed hot and then cold. For an instant, they only stared at each other. He scanned her expression, hoping against all odds that she hadn’t overheard anything, but when her eyes began to water and her chin trembled, he knew better.

  “Cassy, no.” He held a tentative hand toward her. “It’s not what you think.”

  But she was already running down the stairs. He chased after her, following all the way to their quarters because he had to make her understand what he’d done—and more important, what he hadn’t done. He hadn’t spied on her. He hadn’t lied.

  She darted into their room and tried to shut the door. He wedged his boot in the jamb to hold it open. All that earned him was a pillow to the face.

  “Take it,” she shouted. Then she ripped his blanket off the top cot and threw that at him, too. “Take it all, because you don’t bunk here anymore.”

  “Cassy, you have to listen to me. I told the truth when I”—he dodged a handful of clothes—“when I said I wasn’t a spy. This was the only time, I swear. People could’ve been killed. People I care about.”

  That seemed to enrage her even more. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes wild when she planted both palms on his chest and tried to shove him into the hall. He refused to budge. He had to make her listen. “I didn’t have a choice.”

  “Get out!” she screamed.

  “Just let me explain.”

  She clapped both palms over her ears. “Get out.”

  “Cassy, all I want is to talk—”

  “I swear to god, Kane,” she yelled, clenching her eyes shut so she didn’t have to look at him, either. “I know where Solara keeps her stunner, and I will use it on you if you don’t leave me alone!”

  He could tell she meant it, so he staggered back a step, giving her enough leeway to slam the door in his face. The bolt slid into place immediately afterward. He slowly collected his clothes from the floor. Soon Renny appeared, offering a sock he’d picked up from farther down the hall. The captain didn’t ask what had happened, and Kane didn’t volunteer any details. The two of them gathered everything he owned and made their way to the common room, where they assembled a makeshift bed out of chair cushions and extra blankets.

  After the captain returned to supper, Kane folded his clothes and stacked them on the billiard table. When there was nothing left to do, he sat cross-legged on the floor and waited to see if Cassia would calm down enough to leave her room.

  She didn’t.

  When the Banshee touched down on Pesirus, Cassia felt more numb than angry, though not by choice. She preferred anger—to draw fuel from her fire—but she’d had no say in the matter. The change had come gradually, like a slow leak of emotions that her heart hadn’t bothered to patch and fill. Now she was limp inside, empty and tired. She didn’t even want to leave the ship for a mug of hellberry wine, and that was a damned shame.

  “Cassia, report to the bridge,” Renny called through the ship speakers. “You have a transmission.”

  A transmission? She sat up on her cot, then glanced at her naked wrist and realized she’d removed her com-bracelet before her shower that morning. She must’ve left it in the washroom, and Jordan had called the ship after failing to reach her.

  Renny added, “Kane and the crew already left with the cargo.”

  In other words, it was safe to leave her quarters.

  She tried not to look at Kane’s pitiful bed as she crossed the common room, or at the laser blade she’d given him as she searched the shower stall for her bracelet, which wasn’t there. Each reminder of him was a kick to the gut, the only time she didn’t feel numb.

  On her way to the bridge, she nearly collided with Belle, who was feeling her way blindly along the hallway with a scarf tied over her eyes to block the light. Cassia hadn’t left her room much in the last two days, but it seemed Belle’s headaches had intensified far beyond what was normal.

  “You should see a doctor,” Cassia said. “There’s probably one in town.”

  “There is.” Belle’s cherry lips curved in a smile. “Renny called a specialist to come aboard. He negotiated it as payment for the tuna. He’s always been clever like that.”

  “A man of many talents.”

  “I’m going to wait in my room. It’s darker there.”

  “Need any help?”

  “I can manage. Go and answer your call.”

  After watching to make sure Belle found her way to her quarters, Cassia continued up the stairs to the bridge. As predicted, she found Jordan’s hologram there, seated at his desk with one booted ankle resting on his opposite knee. There was nowhere for her to sit in the small area, so she stood in front of him.

  “Sorry,” she said, holding up her bare wrist. “I thought I left my band in the shower, but Acorn must’ve run off with it again. I’m sure I’ll find later it in my coat pocket. That’s where she hides all her treasures.”

  Jordan tipped his head thoughtfully and watched her in the same warm, gentle way she’d grown to depend on. When he grinned, it carried more sympathy than amusement. “You’re sad again. I can see it in your eyes. What’s wrong, Cassia?”

  He’d only used her name once before. Hearing it gave her an unexpected thrill that she tried to hide. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

  His look said they both knew better, but he let it drop. “Should we talk about the sting? And what went wrong?”

  “I know what went wrong. You have a mole in your ranks.”

  “Impossible.”

  “Oh, it’s possible.” She’d heard proof from a rebel, Meichael Stark, who hap
pened to be the boyfriend of Kane’s mom, another rebel. She still couldn’t wrap her head around it.

  “What about a mole in your ranks?” Jordan countered. “Did you say anything to Kane about the raid?”

  “No,” she said, and told herself it wasn’t an outright lie. She didn’t know why she kept protecting Kane. Or maybe she did know, but the truth hurt too much to admit.

  Jordan seemed to sense her struggle. He stood up from his chair and inched toward her. When she didn’t object, he took another step and reached out as if to cradle her face in his hand. Though it was only an illusion, the skin on her cheek flushed at the phantom contact. She was about to take a step backward when Renny strode in from the pilothouse and walked right through Jordan’s hologram.

  “Oops,” Renny said, and then backed up and did it again. “I didn’t hear anyone talking, so I thought the conversation was over.”

  Jordan awkwardly cleared his throat, cheeks coloring as he peered at her over the top of Renny’s head. “Maybe you should call me when you find your band.”

  “I will,” she agreed.

  Then he vanished.

  Cassia whirled on Renny. “What’s your problem?”

  The captain didn’t apologize. Far from it. He wrinkled his nose and fanned a hand in the air as if to dispel any remnants the general had left behind. “I don’t like that guy.”

  “You don’t even know him.”

  “I know enough.” Sabotage complete, Renny turned and made his way back to the pilothouse. “I know he’s overstepping his bounds, and if you let him get away with it, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked so hard to build.”

  “What?” She charged after Renny. “I’m not losing anything. We’re friends. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “There is when he stands to gain an entire planet by getting in your pants.”

  Getting in my pants? She was so thunderstruck by Renny’s logic that she couldn’t speak. She dropped into the copilot’s chair and flung a hand toward the ceiling. Thankfully, her silent frustration was a language he seemed to comprehend.

  “The way I understand it,” he said, “Eturia was formed by four dynasties. Two of them surrendered to Marius during the war, leaving him in control of their lands. Then you married him and merged all those kingdoms into one.” Renny glanced at her. “Am I right so far?”

  She nodded.

  “Okay. So now, if anything happens to Marius, which it probably will, control of the whole planet passes to you—until you share it by taking another husband.”

  “And you think Jordan’s vying for the job?”

  “I think that’s his first choice. But if it doesn’t work, he’s in a perfect position to stage a military coup. It happens all the time.”

  “But you’re missing a huge point. My parents abandoned the throne a long time ago. If Jordan wanted to take over, he could’ve done it already. But he didn’t. He used his influence to put me in charge.”

  “And I promise he had an agenda. Men don’t surrender their power for nothing.”

  Cassia knew the captain’s heart was in the right place, but his conspiracy theory about Jordan was starting to feel like a personal attack. She’d made plenty of mistakes, but trusting Jordan wasn’t one of them. Renny could criticize all he wanted. He hadn’t been there when Marius had locked her in a dungeon cell. Jordan had been there. Renny hadn’t whisked her away from Marius’s suite and then helped her steal and dismantle a dozen enemy missiles. Jordan had done that. Since her return to Eturia, no one had supported her more fiercely than Jordan—not even her best friend.

  She picked at a smudge of dried food on the console. “Is it that hard to believe he likes me for me?” She hadn’t meant for her voice to sound broken. “Not everyone is working an angle.”

  Renny softened, turning to her with a gentle smile. “Of course not. You’re an amazing girl, Cassia. You’re strong and smart and incredibly brave. I’m only trying to open your eyes. This general is shiny and new. He says all the right things and probably gives you butterflies in your stomach. But that’s because you don’t know his flaws. One day the glow will wear off, and I think you’ll look back and regret letting go of the person you really loved.” Renny reached out, covering her hand with his. “The one who was there for so long you stopped noticing his shine.”

  She pulled her hand free and tucked it beneath her thigh. Maybe she had taken Kane for granted once, but her kidnapping had changed all that. She would be with him right now if he hadn’t betrayed her.

  “It’s not that,” she admitted, because she needed to talk to someone, and the words flowed easier around Renny. She told him about all the times the rebels had learned information she’d shared only with Kane, and then about the transmission he’d sent two nights ago. “I caught him in the act. How am I supposed to ignore that?”

  Renny didn’t answer at first. He took the time to clean his glasses and then reposition them on his nose before he said, “Maybe you’re not supposed to ignore it. Maybe you’re supposed to understand it.”

  “Understand that he betrayed me?”

  “Understand that you’re not the center of the universe, Cassia,” he corrected. Despite the gentle delivery, his message heated her cheeks. “There are other people in Kane’s life, too. Did you expect him to put your feelings above the life of his own mother?”

  “I wouldn’t have let anything happen to Rena.”

  Renny slid her a disbelieving look.

  “I wouldn’t have!”

  “How can you guarantee that when you’re in another sector?”

  She opened her mouth to reply, but Renny had stumped her. Even though she’d ordered her soldiers to arrest the rebels, not to kill them, she couldn’t have prevented anything from going wrong. As much as it stung to know that Rena was part of the rebellion, Cassia couldn’t bear the thought of Kane’s mother shot down in the street.

  “All right, fine,” she admitted. “I can’t blame him for not wanting to take that chance with his mom. But what about the other times he passed information to the rebels?”

  “Are you sure that he did?”

  “No, but the evidence points to him.”

  Renny shrugged. “I can’t help you there because I don’t know what happened. But I’ve seen the way Kane looks at you. I believe that boy would cut off his right arm if he thought it would make you happy.” He nudged her. “And I think you’d do the same for him.”

  She stared at her hands. It wasn’t that simple.

  “I want you to realize what you have,” Renny said. “The love of a good partner makes you stronger, not weaker.”

  “It doesn’t always feel that way.”

  “That’s because you mistake vulnerability for weakness. It doesn’t make you powerful to hide your heart. Trust me; love heightens everything decent in life. Most people are lucky to find it once. What you have is even more special because loving your best friend is the cosmic jackpot. So don’t let go of that without a fight. That’s all I’m asking.”

  “That’s all you’re asking?”

  “At least promise you’ll think about it.”

  She hesitated. It felt like he’d dropped a boulder in her lap.

  “I only pester because I care,” he added. Then he went quiet for a few beats, and when he spoke again, he seemed to have gone misty. “I don’t know if Belle and I will ever have children, or if we missed the boat on that. But if I had a daughter, I’d want her to be like you.”

  His words triggered her tear ducts, because in a secret place deep inside, buried beneath years of pain and abuse, existed the ghost of a little girl who wanted to make her parents proud. That girl had nearly starved from neglect, but now she beamed to know that someone as wonderful as Renny would want her for a child.

  Cassia dabbed at her eyes. “You know how to twist a girl’s arm.”

  “They say I’m a pretty slick thief, too.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out her com-bracelet. “By the way, I took this
from the washroom.”

  “You win,” she said, and let him slip the bracelet over her hand. “I promise I’ll think about it.” She peered through a wall of tears at her captain: his long, gangly limbs; boyish hair six months overdue for a trim; glasses held together with medical tape. She was going to miss him something fierce. “And for what it’s worth, I hope you haven’t missed the boat. Any child would be lucky to have you for a father. That would be the cosmic jackpot.”

  Doran groaned and slumped against an empty pallet. “I never want to smell fish again.”

  “Again?” asked Solara. “I still smell it.”

  He scrubbed a hand over his nose. “Yeah, me too. It’s like revenge of the tuna.” He elbowed Kane. “Am I right?”

  “Uh-huh,” Kane said, only half listening. “Tuna.” He gazed across a grassy field at the Banshee’s boarding ramp, which hadn’t seen a boot in the hour since the neurologist had strolled onto the ship.

  “Hey,” Doran called.

  Kane glanced at him.

  “I don’t think she’s coming, man.”

  Neither did Kane, and that was what scared him. Cassia didn’t just love hellberry wine; she lived for it. She must really hate his face if she would rather hide in her quarters than enjoy a mug served fresh from the barrel.

  “I’ll buy a bottle for her,” he said, but then he wondered if she would drink it if she knew the wine was a gift from him. She might pour the whole bottle straight down the commode. “We’ll tell her it’s from you.”

  Solara looped an arm around his and led the way toward a small market beyond the warehouse. “How about this? You’ll buy a bottle for her and save it until you two make up. Then you’ll uncork it and celebrate.”

  “And end up naked on someone’s lawn,” Doran added from behind.

  Kane chuckled. It felt good to laugh. “First I’ll have to convince her to look at me.”