Warm Springs

by Susan Richards Shreve

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Photos

  A Map to Keep

  GO IN AND OUT THE WINDOW

  Traces

  Warm Springs, 1952

  A Brief History of Warm Springs Polio Hospital

  Memory in Process

  Mid-August 1950, 96 Degrees

  Dr. Nicholson, Sister Kenny, My Mother, and Me

  The Ticket of Admission

  At Home in Second Medical

  Patient Number Three

  WHAT BECOMES AN ORDINARY LIFE

  Negotiating Safety

  The Children’s Ward

  The Body and the Blood

  Thanksgiving Afternoon

  I See the Moon and the Moon Sees Me

  DRESS REHEARSAL

  The Art of the Positive

  March of Dimes Day

  A Changing Friendship

  LEAVING HOME

  Face Forward and Walk in a Straight Line

  Afterword

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Copyright © 2007 by Susan Richards Shreve

  All rights reserved

  For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003.

  www.hmhco.com

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

  Shreve, Susan Richards.

  Warm Springs : traces of a childhood at FDR’s polio haven / Susan Richards Shreve.

  p. cm.

  ISBN 978-0-618-65853-4

  ISBN 978-0-547-05383-7

  1. Shreve, Susan Richards—Health. 2. Poliomyelitis—Patients—United States—Biography. 3. Georgia Warm Springs Foundation. 4. Roosevelt, Franklin D. (Franklin Delano), 1882-1945—Homes and haunts. 5. Health resorts—Georgia—Warm Springs. I. Title.

  RC180.1.55 2007 362.196 8350092—dc22 [B] 2006027595

  eISBN 978-0-547-52604-1

  v3.1214

  Photo credits: Warm Springs pool and boy on crutches, courtesy of the Roosevelt Warm Springs Institute for Rehabilitation. Donald Anderson, © Bettmann/Corbis.

  Author’s note: The incidents, characters, and places in this book are true to my memory of them. I have changed the names of many of the characters.

  For my only brother,

  Jeff Richards

  The author and her mother, Betty Richards

  With mother at Warm Springs, circa 1951

  The author (center) with Warm Springs friends and their mothers

  The indoor pool at Warm Springs, used for physical therapy

  Donald Anderson, the first March of Dimes poster child, 1946

  A boy tries out his new braces and crutches at Warm Springs

  A Map to Keep

  I WAS SITTING with my father on the red-flowered chintz sofa in the living room of our house in Washington, D.C., while he drew on the back of a postcard photograph of downtown Chicago along the lake. I remember the photograph because I kept the postcard folded in my wallet until a few years ago, when it disappeared.

  But my father’s drawing is indelibly etched in my memory.

  It was the winter I was eight, and we sat side by side in front of the fireplace, late afternoon, probably a Sunday. A fire blazing, my father smoking an Old Gold cigarette, a glass of bourbon, straight up, beside him, his feet resting on the coffee table over his sleeping dog, General Beauregard, who lay under his legs.

  I was anxious for no other reason except that on the rare occasions when I was alone with my father, my excitement at his unguarded attention gave me butterflies. And on this particular afternoon I must have done something to capture this attention or to reveal a failure of character sufficient to stir his parental instincts, which were not easily stirred.

  “This dot is you, Susan Lynn Richards,” he began with his inclination to exalt our lives. “Age eight and a half, citizen of the United States of America.”

  He indicated a tiny dot he’d made in the middle of the postcard.

  “And this dot is you in the circle which represents your family,” he went on. “Your mother and me and Jeffrey and General Beauregard and Grandma Richards and the visitors who sometimes spend the night.”

  Visitors often spent the night at our house, and they might or might not be related to us. Sometimes they were people my father took in simply because it was in him to do that, and I didn’t want to consider them part of my family because they were usually drunk, which I told him.

  “When these visitors are in our home, they’re part of our family,” he said, drawing a slightly larger circle. “And this is your neighborhood, called Cleveland Park, in Washington, D.C.” He drew a circle for the city of Washington and then one for the country and another for the continent and then the hemisphere and finally the world.

  The tiny dot seemed smaller and less central as the circles grew in size.

  “What about the stars?” I asked. “Aren’t you doing the universe?”

  “I’m sticking to the places where we know that human beings live,” he said, “and we don’t know about the stars.”

  Then he used a blue pencil to indicate the oceans, and a green one for the land, and handed the postcard to me.

  “Get it?” he asked.

  “I do,” I said.

  But I didn’t get it at all, beyond an understanding that the diminishing dot was me.

  I kept the picture because my father had drawn it for me.

  When I decided to write about the two years, between the ages of eleven and thirteen, when I had lived at the Warm Springs Polio Foundation, thinking how to frame the book, how to imagine a structure that would allow for my memoir to be a detail in an expanding landscape of a person and a place and a certain history, I thought about my father’s drawing.

  This small story of my two years at Warm Springs is told against the larger story of my family, of a time and place, of racism and religion, of the first major public health success in the United States, and of President Franklin Roosevelt, who created the place called Warm Springs, which for a while a lot of us called home.

  I

  GO IN AND OUT THE WINDOW

  Traces

  I’M SITTING WITH my legs straight out on an examining table at the Georgia Warm Springs Polio Foundation, where I have just arrived. Four doctors lean over my legs, their elbows on the table, talking back and forth. The doctors are looking for traces.

  Traces are little whispers of life in muscles destroyed by the polio virus. They promise the possibility of a new future. My part in this examination, not the first in my life with polio, is to concentrate with all my might on each muscle, one at a time, in the hope that with my undivided attention, there will be a shiver of response and the doctors will rise up, smiling, and announce that the audition has been a success and there is reason for hope.

  Muscle to muscle, trace to trace, I am looking for a sign of possibility.

  At Warm Springs, traces is the word for hope.

  When I think of the word “traces” now, it is as a footprint or a shadow or a verb, like “unearth” or “expose” or “reveal.”

  I’ve been looking for traces in my childhood that will bring the years I spent in Warm Springs into some kind of focus. In its intention, the process is very much the same as it was when I lived there and turned my attention to discovering what remained.

  Warm Springs, 1952

  ON THE MORNING Joey Buckley got his wheelchair back, got to leave his bed and move about the hospital grounds alone, I had been up at dawn, before the Georgia sun turned the soft air yellow as butter
. I lived in the eighth bed in a sixteen-bed ward of girls at the Warm Springs Polio Foundation and had been living there, off and mostly on, since I was eleven years old. That morning, at the beginning of April, I was wide awake with plans to slip out of the room without any of the fifteen other girls knowing I was gone until they woke to the rancid smell of grits and eggs to see my empty bed carefully made.

  I was wearing blue jeans, cut up the seam so they’d fit around my leg cast, a starchy white shirt with the collar up, a red bandanna tied around my neck like Dale Evans, my hair shoulder length, in a side part, the June Allyson bangs swept up in a floppy red grosgrain bow. A cowgirl without the hat and horse, a look I cultivated, boy enough to be in any company.

  I wheeled past Avie Crider on the first bed, lying on her left side, her right leg hanging in traction above her hip, a kidney-shaped throw-up pan by her cheek. She’d come out of surgery the day before, screaming all night, but we were used to that in one another and could sleep through noises of pain and sadness, or talk through them, about movies and boyfriends and sex and God, back and forth across the beds. Never pain and sadness.

  I shut the door. The Girls’ Ward (called Ward 8 by the staff), on the second floor of Second Medical, was at one end of a long hall, and the Boys’ Ward was at the other end. The long corridor, with the nurses’ station between the wards, was empty at dawn, too early for the smell of breakfast, for the morning nursing staff to click up and down the corridors with trays of thermometers and medicines, even for the bedpans, which were my responsibility.

  I wanted to go straight to the Boys’ Ward, where Joey Buckley might be waiting for me, but it was too early for that also, too early for mail, which was my other job, or for orderlies to take the surgery patients down to the first-floor pre-op waiting room, or for the domestic staff to begin mopping the linoleum for a new day. Too early for anything but the Babies’ Ward (officially called the Children’s Ward), where I went every afternoon to take the babies in my lap for a wheelchair spin around the walkways, pretending they were mine for keeps, these orphan babies whose parents were off in their own houses in other towns, like my parents three hundred long miles away in Washington. These babies couldn’t do without me.

  But this morning, days away from thirteen, a girl of high temperament and little patience, I was burning with anticipation. I wanted to go as fast as a girl could go, a winged runner with hair on fire, hanging over the side of an open cockpit, a high wind blowing my clothes off.

  I passed Miss Riley, the red-haired head nurse, her long, freckled legs stretched straight out from the chair where she was sleeping, her head thrown back against the wall, her mouth hanging open. My wheelchair was standard issue, made of wood with yellowed wicker on the seat and back, and it was squeaky so I pushed it softly by Miss Riley’s office, down the corridor to the elevator, hoping not to get caught before I carried out my plan.

  When the elevator doors opened onto the first floor, Dr. Iler was rushing out of the Babies’ Ward, and I waved, but he looked right at me without registering who I was or wondering, as he ought to have, what I was doing up and dressed at dawn. Running away? That’s what he would have thought if he’d seen me through his own preoccupations. On bad days, running away was what we talked about doing, as if we had legs for running or anywhere to go, stuck in the Georgia countryside, prisoners of our own limitations.

  “Suzie Richards.” Dr. Iler suddenly stopped and turned around, as if my presence had come to him in memory after he had seen me in person. “What are you doing up at the crack of dawn?”

  “I couldn’t sleep,” I said.

  “Well, be careful,” he said, and I thought to say “Of what?” out here in the middle of mainly nowhere with doctors and nurses and priests and orderlies, no danger here except the invisible one of my own secret desires. But what did I know then about fear of what was inside myself?

  “I will be careful,” I said, and he was gone.

  Outside the front door, the air was New England chilly, fresh with the beginning of spring, and I wheeled my chair through the big door, down the ramp onto the sidewalk, thinking of Joey Buckley’s brown eyes, deep and dark as winter ponds.

  The buildings of the Warm Springs Polio Foundation had a kind of fading beauty. It had been a late-nineteenth-century spa, rebuilt, after Roosevelt purchased the old Meriwether Inn and grounds, with low white buildings in wings around a grassy courtyard with walkways, some covered like porticoes. I thought of myself as living in a hotel. I was grown-up and beautiful and walking without the aid of crutches or braces, walking in high heels, and I had come to this hotel on a holiday to find the man of my dreams.

  I wheeled over to the wing where the Boys’ Ward was located, stopping just below it so Joey Buckley, if he happened to be looking out the window beside his bed, would see me there.

  Behind me, the door to the main building opened and shut, and I kept my back to whoever was coming out, hoping to pass unobserved, but the invader of my private romance was Father James, another recipient of my unguarded affection, and he had seen me. I could feel him headed in my direction.

  “Mary,” he said, coming up behind me, out of breath.

  He called me Mary because I had told him my middle name was Mary and I was called by that name at home, although my middle name was really Lynn. But neither Susan nor Lynn seemed right for a Quaker girl converting to Catholicism, as I had been in the process of doing with Father James, wishing to fill the long empty hours with something commensurate with my desire and because I loved him and believed he would like me better with a name like Mary.

  Much of my free time at Warm Springs was spent figuring out the best way to be liked by the people I wanted to like me. Not everyone. Only the ones who judged me bad for reasons I could never understand, neither the reasons nor the meaning of bad. And the ones I adored, since I was at an age and had an inclination to love without reservation.

  “What are you doing up so early?” Father James gave my wheelchair a gentle push.

  “I couldn’t sleep,” I said. “What about you?”

  He hesitated, and I could tell even before he spoke that he was inventing some excuse for being in the hospital when he normally would be getting ready to serve at the 6 A.M. Mass, generally attended by the staff at Warm Springs either on their way to work or on their way home.

  “Did something happen to one of the babies?” I asked. “I saw Dr. Iler.”

  “Dr. Iler was in the Babies’ Ward,” he said.

  “Were you there for a sick baby?” I asked.

  And I suddenly remembered our recent conversation in catechism class about last rites. I had been fascinated and repelled by the idea of a priest, a man in a stiff white collar and black robe but still a man, ridding the dying of leftover sins so that, fresh as a daisy, as my mother would say, the dead could pass into heaven. I loved the Roman Catholic Church, with the body and blood of Jesus popped into our mouths and incense burning and bells and chanting in Latin. But passing into heaven held no appeal at all.

  “Were you in the Babies’ Ward doing last rites?” I asked, my mind running through the cribs of babies, Eliza Jane, little Maria, Tommy Boy, Rosie, Sue Sue, Violet Blue, Johnny Go-Go, all those babies of mine with the nicknames I had given them.

  “Don’t go into the Babies’ Ward today, Mary.”

  “Can you tell me which baby?” I asked.

  He tousled my hair.

  “Not just now,” he said, and I watched him walk away in his black cassock, his muddy shoes showing below the skirt, his long thinning hair flying above his head in threads.

  Halfway across the courtyard, he turned and, with his cassock blowing behind him, walked back toward me.

  “Mary,” he said, kneeling so we were face to face. “I know you’re thinking you’ll go to the Babies’ Ward as soon as I’m out of sight, but you can’t. This was not a patient you knew.”

  Instinctively I didn’t believe him.

  I watched until he was out of sig
ht and then I crossed the courtyard on a diagonal toward the movie theater—not an actual movie theater but a large room where current Hollywood films were shown to the patients, mostly children, either sitting in wheelchairs or lying on stretchers in body casts, everyone in the hospital who could breathe without an iron lung, in rows of white sheets.

  The next afternoon, a Saturday, I would be going with Joey Buckley to see High Noon—that was the description of my Saturday I would tell my parents during our Sunday telephone call, always just after noon, a ritual of longing and dread.

  “I went to see High Noon with Joey Buckley,” I’d say. “We do everything together lately.”

  I knew it would please them to hear that I had a best and steady friend, a Joey Buckley whom they’d met but didn’t know, filling the gap their absence had left. It would please them to think of me doing the things that normal children in the sixth grade did, like going to movies.

  It wasn’t necessarily true about Joey Buckley. I’d usually be in line with all the girls from the Girls’ Ward in wheelchairs, and we’d follow the stretchers moved by push boys, and behind would be the line of wheelchairs from the Boys’ Ward, and then the grown-ups who had the freedom to move, if they could move, out of the lineup. When I saw Joey, he would be in a line of wheelchairs behind me, several boys away.

  I saved stories for my parents to make them happy, to soften their sadness over not being with me, which I knew they wished they could be, which I wanted to believe they wished they could be. And the stories had some truth, along with the addition of a happy ending. I added the happy ending perhaps by nature, perhaps in my own defense. A child can cover a multitude of sadness simply by inventing happiness, can escape the kind of sympathy that smothers her spirit, and save her fledgling self in its slow and lonely process of definition.