by Sandy James
She didn’t want children. Despite what he’d told her, he simply didn’t know if he would be happy if he never had kids of his own.
Connor was a father—of twins. Robert had adopted Beth’s niece and was preparing to welcome his own child into the world. And Ben had a daughter from a first marriage but no children with Mallory. Their plethora of family dynamics could surely make them the right people to give Nate some sound counsel.
He jumped right in. “Dani told me she doesn’t want to have kids.”
“I suppose that’s my fault,” Robert said, a chuckle in his voice. “We left you two with Emma too long. She can be a handful.”
Nate shook his head. “It’s not that. She loves Emma. She just has tons of plans for her life that don’t include kids.” The waitress was back with his beer. After she left, he took a bracing swig so he could spit the rest out. “I always thought I’d have children of my own. I’m not sure how I feel about her shutting the door on that.”
Silence settled between the men as the noise coming from the bar patrons swirled around them. The tension was enough to make Nate wish he’d kept his mouth shut. Clearly he’d overstepped some kind of informal boundary for what friends could talk about.
He was just about to apologize when Ben spoke. “Mallory can’t have kids, not since the chemotherapy. Even if her ovaries still worked, she couldn’t handle the hormonal changes of pregnancy.”
Moments passed, and Nate was ready to ask him to explain when Ben added, “I would’ve loved to have a kid with Mallory, but it wasn’t in the cards. I always thought I’d have another. A son, maybe. But when I married her, I had to let that go.” He shrugged. “Having Amber made it easier. I already got to be a dad. You’ll never have that chance.”
“You know, it doesn’t have to be a done deal,” Robert added. “You and Dani are both so young…”
Nate snorted. “She can’t seem to get past my age, either. Eight years younger. So what?”
“What I meant was that there are years and years ahead to change your minds.”
It’s not my mind that needs changing. “I don’t want to lose her. Not over something like this.”
“I don’t know,” Connor said. “It’s a pretty big issue, and you’re gonna ask her to marry you. If you two can’t find a compromise…”
“What compromise is there?” Nate asked. “I might want to have a kid or two, but she’s adamant that she’ll never be a mom. Where could we possibly meet in the middle?” The more he thought about the impossible situation, the more upset he got.
Ben picked up his nearly empty glass and signaled to the waitress. “The way I see it, either you get her to change her mind…”
“Like that would ever happen with Dani,” Robert teased.
“Or you change yours.”
“Great. Just great.” Nate nursed his beer until the waitress brought his food and Ben’s refill. Although the fries were hot enough to burn his tongue, he ate as a way to keep from talking as the doubts that had been bubbling and brewing below the surface came to a rolling boil.
Despite the assurances he’d given Dani, he wasn’t sure if he had been totally honest. To think that by being with the woman he loved might mean he would never have children—never even have the chance to try for a child—made his emotions churn.
There was anger. Although he loved her, he couldn’t help but think it was selfish of her to make that choice with no thought at all for his wants or needs. The decision to have kids should be something a couple made together, not one either partner should slam the door on so the other person had no say at all.
There was disappointment, the same disappointment he’d felt when Kat had lost their baby. To think he’d never see his own features on a tiny face or hear his son’s first laugh or watch his daughter’s first steps made his heart ache.
And there was fear—the fear that all these things that he might want in his own future could cost him any future with Dani.
“Are you still getting married in Indiana?” Connor asked.
“Yep. Already got things worked out with the judge,” Nate replied. “Thank heavens we have a whole week off for the holiday. The inn I booked wasn’t nearly as expensive as I thought it would be.”
“Well, then”—Robert cuffed him on the shoulder—“you won’t have to get too pissed if she turns you down.”
“Hell, Robert,” Ben said. “That’s why we’re organizing this whole surprise party. Dani’s not going to say no in front of everyone, especially Nate’s family. She might feel like he’s twisting her arm, but she’ll agree to marry him. I know she will.”
Robert thought it over for a moment. “You might be right… but is that what you want, Nate? To have her promise to marry you because she doesn’t want to embarrass you?”
“No,” he admitted. That wasn’t what he wanted at all, a marriage born of obligation.
“If you’re gonna pull the plug on this,” Connor said, “now’s the time.”
“No, I want this. I do.” At least I think I do…
Chomping on some more of his fish and chips, Nate decided he would follow through with the surprise party—and the marriage.
Dani was wrong. People changed their minds about important things all the time. And although she was stubborn, she was also compassionate. If he really wanted a child of his own, he would have to trust that she loved him enough that she wouldn’t deny him something so important.
“Let’s get our plans finalized. It’s time for Dani and me to make it official.”
Chapter Thirty
Getting Dani to the reception hall had been next to impossible, mostly because Nate had such a hard time coming up with a reason they needed to stop by there. Thankfully, Robert had provided him with a false errand, and Dani seemed to go along with the ruse.
Now he walked beside her up the concrete sidewalk, holding her hand and hoping he wasn’t about to make the biggest mistake of his life. His conscience had been nagging him from the moment the plans had been finalized.
This party had seemed like such a great idea when he’d set it up with the guys. But as the days slipped by, drawing him closer and closer to Thanksgiving break, he became less and less sure of himself. With so much at stake, he couldn’t afford to misstep. One slip, and Dani would seize the opportunity to run like the wind.
He couldn’t—wouldn’t—lose her.
The irony of the whole situation was that Nate had begun to understand exactly how her mind worked. The problem wasn’t that she didn’t love him; the trouble was that she loved him too much. She wouldn’t trap him in a marriage that wouldn’t fulfill all his needs, including what she believed was his desire to be a father.
Why couldn’t she understand that without her, he’d never have a life at all?
Right before he opened the door, Nate thought about turning around and hurrying Dani back into the car. Until he got things figured out in his own mind, until he could say with absolute certainty that he wouldn’t regret losing any opportunity to be a dad, any promise he made to her would be hollow.
She’d been correct; he needed to know his own mind first.
And right now, he just… didn’t.
Robert took the choice away from him when he flung open one of the double glass doors and yelled, “Surprise, Dani!”
The grip she had on Nate’s hand tightened like a vise when she stepped inside, probably from seeing the large banner that read: CONGRATULATIONS, DANI AND NATE!
“It’s a surprise party,” he whispered. “For us.” Her brows gathered, so he tried to stammer out a better explanation. “O-our friends are helping us celebrate moving in together.”
She didn’t say anything, instead gaped at the people shouting and clapping as he walked with her into the enormous room, one large enough to hold all the people he’d figured should be there on the big day, including his mother and Mark.
The sound of a microphone squealing pierced the air, making everyone wince and the noise level of t
he numerous conversations drop considerably. “Welcome!” the DJ—one of Robert’s former students who now owned an entertainment service—announced. “We’re here to celebrate with Ms. Bradshaw… um… Danielle Bradshaw and Nate Ryan.”
A cheer rose from the crowd, making Nate’s stomach churn. If he was this nervous about asking her to marry him, how in the hell would he feel tomorrow when he stood before a minister and had to recite vows that would bind him to Dani for the rest of his life?
No. This wasn’t a case of nerves about being Dani’s husband. His concern was that she’d never forgive him for springing all this on her.
God, I’m an idiot. But there was no going back. The printouts of the judge’s instructions and the inn reservations practically sizzled in his pocket, reminding him of all the work he and his friends—and even the Ladies Who Lunch—had put into this shindig. Of course, the Ladies weren’t told about all his plans. They were in for a bombshell every bit as much as Dani.
“Are you surprised?” he asked, wondering if she was ever going to ease her taut grip on his hand.
“Very.” Her voice was breathy.
“Everyone’s here for us.”
“No, really?” she said dryly.
He let the sarcasm pass, figuring she was entitled to a biting remark or two.
Jackie and Mark were standing together next to a table in the far corner as if they were uncomfortable. He could easily understand the feeling. Since the guys drew up the invitation list, there were quite a few people attending that Nate had only seen in passing—if he’d seen them at all.
He should have listened to his conscience.
Too late now, it chided.
“It’ll be fun,” Nate insisted.
She gave him a curt nod.
“Let’s dance,” the DJ announced. “But stay close. In about ten minutes, Nate has another surprise for Dani!” Eighties music blared over the speakers. The song made Nate’s head ache.
“Another surprise?” she asked.
“Um… yeah. You’ll love it.” At least I hope you do.
As the Ladies came to Dani, surrounding her as they all spoke in fast, low voices, the other guests drifted back to the tables scattered throughout the hall. A few people started dancing.
Robert, Connor, and Ben came to stand at his side.
“That didn’t go quite the way I’d hoped,” he admitted, dragging his fingers through his hair.
“She’s just stunned,” Ben insisted. “Wait until you spring your other big surprise on her. She’ll be putty in your hands.”
“Says the carpenter named Carpenter,” Connor teased.
Ben snorted. “I’m a contractor.”
Nate was starting to believe following through with the second salvo of this blitzkrieg might be the last nail in the relationship’s coffin. “Maybe I should leave well enough alone.”
“And waste all that time and money?” Robert shook his head. “You’re already standing on the high dive; you might as well jump in the deep end.”
“I don’t know,” Connor said, his gaze shifting between Nate and Dani. “Dani looked kinda… pissed. You think shoving a ring under her nose might make things worse?”
“Honest to God,” Nate said, “I really don’t know anymore. She’s been acting so different lately.”
With a frown, Robert said, “She’s just nervous—exactly like you are.”
“Then maybe I should back off for a bit.”
“Damn the torpedoes,” Ben said. “Full speed ahead.”
“And here comes the bride.” Robert nodded at the Ladies heading their way.
Dani took Nate’s hand when he held his out to her. “Hey, sweetheart.”
She stared up at him, the concern clear in her eyes. “Are you okay? You look a little… green.” She put the back of her free hand against his forehead. “You don’t feel like you have a fever or anything.”
“I’m fine.”
“If you say so…”
The guys were right; there was no turning back now. He wasn’t about to embarrass her in front of her friends and family by suddenly proclaiming he needed to solve this baby issue in his own mind before he could give Dani the kind of commitment she needed and deserved. No, he was a man who followed through, especially on personal commitments. No way in hell he’d do to Dani what Kat had done to him. They’d drive to Indiana tonight, and tomorrow they would be married.
End of story.
If he could only turn off the stupid and far-too-negative voice in his head telling him that to make a pledge like marriage in haste was a recipe for disaster.
“C’mon.” Nate tugged on her hand. “I have another surprise for you.”
“I can’t wait,” she drawled with enough sarcasm to make him glance back at her.
* * *
Dani was having a difficult time tamping down the urge to turn and run right out the door. Then she’d jump in her car and head straight home. But that wouldn’t solve her problem. Besides, she was the one who hated public gestures of affection, especially surprise parties. He didn’t know that.
Nate had clearly gone to a lot of trouble to plan this party. As she glanced around the room, she took in the faces of family and friends, including Jackie and Mark Brennan. Thankfully, Kat was nowhere in sight.
Where are Mom and Dad?
Duh. They weren’t likely to fly here from the West Coast for a silly party. An engagement? Maybe. A wedding? Certainly. But not this.
Did Nate even invite them?
Of course he did. Beth, Mallory, and Jules were obviously a part of this. And why her friends didn’t at least give her warning was beyond her.
Then she remembered Mallory and what the Ladies Who Lunch had put her through to help Ben win her heart. Nate was every bit as resourceful, but putting together something like this needed allies—the same allies Ben had called forward. This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment event, judging from the size of the crowd and the distance some of the partygoers had to have traveled. The Ladies would have insisted Dani’s parents know what was happening.
She followed him to the dais where the DJ was working. Grabbing her around the waist, he lifted her to the platform, and then he hopped up to join her there. The DJ passed him the microphone.
Nate waited a moment for the murmurs to quiet down, a lot like he did when he had an unruly class. “I’d like to thank everyone for coming. But I’ve got one more thing I’m hoping we can all celebrate tonight.” He handed the microphone back to the DJ and gestured to Robert.
With an enormous grin, Robert plucked a small box from his pocket—a velvet box the perfect size to hold an engagement ring.
Dani’s heart plummeted to her feet, and she started trembling so fiercely, everyone had to notice. “Nate, what’s happening?”
He winked at her. “I’ve got something special for you.”
Her heart pounded like a jackhammer, her palms grew sweaty, and her mouth suddenly went dry. The walls began to press in on her, making her feel like a cornered animal.
Robert handed Nate the black velvet box. “Here you go, friend. Good luck.”
The butterflies fluttering in her stomach went into overdrive. Why in the world would Robert have to wish Nate luck?
Nate took her left hand, gently kissed her knuckles, and then slowly went down on one knee. The women in the audience let out a collective sigh at the romantic gesture, the sound ringing much louder in Dani’s ears than it should have. Funny, but she didn’t even register the men’s reactions, although she imagined there were tons of rolling eyes and a few snorts of masculine disgust.
“I think now is the perfect time to tell you just how much I love you. It’s not often a guy finds the love of his life, and that’s exactly what you are. The love of my life. Which means there’s only one thing left for me to do. I’ve gotta make damn sure she doesn’t get away.”
Tears blurred her vision, both from her fear and from the wonderful things he was saying. “Nate… please…”
/> Nate squeezed her fingers. “Here, in front of all these people, I need to ask you a very important question.” He swallowed hard. “Danielle Bradshaw, will you marry me?” His gruff voice sent shivers up her spine. “Will you promise to spend the rest of your life with me? ’Cause I want to be with you every day from now on.”
Although her mind screamed at her, she couldn’t turn him down. He’d be humiliated, and she’d never forgive herself.
It was a ring. Just an engagement ring. They weren’t married yet. They’d have time to sort things out. And if they couldn’t, they would quietly call off the engagement. People broke engagements all the time.
Since he’d put her back to the wall, Dani let him have his special moment. She loved him too much to do otherwise. “Yes, Nate. I’ll marry you.”
The attendees applauded and cheered while he popped open the velvet box and took out a beautiful engagement ring.
Gripping it between his thumb and index finger, he held it up. “Beth helped me pick it. I hope you like what we chose.”
The diamond was a marquise cut, a small but very lovely stone standing alone on a platinum band. Exactly what Dani would’ve chosen for herself.
“I love it.” Her voice quivered.
Nate slid the ring on her third finger, but he kept a tight hold of her hand. “There’s more, sweetheart.”
She arched an eyebrow, angry at herself for counting her chickens while they were still firmly planted in their shells. If he had something else up his sleeve, another way to twist her arm, she wasn’t sure she could stand it. Only her love for him kept her feet glued to the spot. Any more pressure, and she’d run.
When he pulled a folded paper from his pocket, his hand trembled. Not a good sign at all, and one that tossed her body swiftly back into fight-or-flight.
“Since you’ve agreed to be my wife, I thought we’d avoid one of those long, drawn-out engagements.”
“What are you—”
He handed her the paper.
She unfolded it and tried hard to make herself understand the dates and times before her. “I don’t underst—”