Fringe Benefits

by Sandy James

No, no, no. She couldn’t marry him. Especially not now. There were too many obstacles between them, too many problems that had absolutely no solutions.

  Or were those “problems” actually nothing more than excuses to allow her to blame something other than herself for her current predicament?

  For the first time since she got home, Dani checked her cell phone. There were thirty-six text messages. Not a single one from Nate. Of course, she hadn’t expected him to text. Or call. Or ever talk to her again. Even though she was going to allow him to stay in the basement, he would most likely want to put as much distance between the two of them as he could.

  “Fucked your life up something royal, eh, Dani girl?” she said to herself.

  One by one, she read and deleted the texts. Colleagues were worried about her, and there was no doubt that gossip was burning up the wireless networks in Cloverleaf. Some friends shared sentiments ranging from concern to dismay to amusement. Several offered prayers in support, which probably couldn’t hurt.

  Mallory left a long voice mail and a couple of texts, as did Juliana. Beth left five voice mails and ten increasingly frantic text messages. After firing off quick texts to Mallory and Jules, Dani focused on Beth. If anyone could talk her down off the ledge, it was Beth.

  “Dani!” Beth’s voice buzzed in her ear. “Robert and I have been so worried.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not. Want me to come over?”

  “Why?”

  “So we can talk.”

  “I told you, Beth. I’m fine.”

  Beth snorted. “I know you a heck of a lot better than that.”

  With a weighty sigh, Dani said, “I’m really not in the mood to talk. Besides, what’s done is done.”

  Beth clucked her tongue as though scolding a student. “We both know that’s nonsense. Nothing’s ever done. You and Nate—”

  “After tonight, there is no me and Nate. There’ll never be a me and Nate again.”

  “That’s not true,” Beth insisted. “Look, I know tonight was… rough.”

  A laugh slipped out, one that quickly turned to a sob that Dani bit back.

  “But it’s not the end of the world,” Beth said. “Shoot, it’s not even the end of you being with Nate. He loves you.”

  It wasn’t until she was already shaking her head that Dani realized Beth couldn’t see her. “He loved me. Not loves. Loved.”

  “Love doesn’t die because of a little tiff.”

  “A little tiff? Good God, Beth. You were there tonight. How can you call it a little tiff?” The tears spilled over Dani’s lashes, and if she didn’t end this call quickly, she was going to lose her precious control. “I need to go.”

  “Why the rush? Oh, don’t bother answering that. I know darn well why you want to hang up. If you have to talk about what happened and deal with it, you’re gonna break down and finally cry. Which, I’ll have you know, is probably the best thing in the world for you right now. In case you haven’t figured it out, none of the Ladies knew about the proposal plans. We thought it was just a party. Trust me, had we known, we would have put the kibosh on it before it ever happened.” A long pause was followed by. “Crap. Hang on…”

  At least the sounds of Beth gagging gave Dani something else to think about—something other than how she’d ruined her entire life this evening by acting like a five-year-old. There was some solace in knowing her friends hadn’t been a part of the surprise proposal. “What’s wrong? Are you still morning sick?”

  Slow moments passed, and just about the time Dani was considering jumping in her car and hurrying over to help Beth, Robert’s voice came on the line. “Hey, Dani. Beth’s kinda… indisposed.”

  Dani could hear Beth’s voice shouting from a distance, but she couldn’t understand what her friend was saying.

  “Is she okay?” Dani asked.

  “Just sick. Again. How are you doing?”

  “Fine. I’m more worried about Beth.”

  “She’ll be all right in time. I guess the question is, will you be all right?”

  “Doubt it,” Dani replied. “I fucked up, and I don’t think there’s any way to fix it.”

  “Is that what you want?” Robert asked. “To fix things with Nate?”

  Even though every single problem that had sent Dani running from that reception hall was still an obstacle, her answer came swiftly. “Yes. I do.”

  “Well, then. Tell him that.”

  As if… “It’s not that easy, Robert.”

  “Bullshit. Look, I’ve gotta go take care of my wife. Take a piece of advice, okay?”

  “Spit it out.”

  “That man loves you. I’m pretty sure that despite what happened tonight, you love him, too. Don’t throw that all away just because you’re afraid.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Nate shook Mark’s hand and then hugged his mother. They waited by Mark’s SUV, which was parked next to the curb in front of Dani’s house. He was taking a big chance in having them drop him off without first checking if Dani would allow him to return to living in the basement. Maybe once his parents left, she’d have pity on him and let him stay, at least until he could find a new place.

  “We should wait.” Jackie nodded at the house. “She was looking out of the bay window.”

  “That’s our… um, her bedroom.”

  “Think she’ll let you in?” Mark asked.

  With a lopsided grin, Nate said, “Like I said earlier, I have no idea how she’ll react. But there’s only one way to find out. Besides, I have to talk to her. I can’t give up without a fight.”

  “Remember,” Mark said, “patience and forgiveness—the best things you can give her.”

  Jackie nodded. “This might take a while, Nate. Slow, steady steps should help you win her back.”

  “Or it could be in the blink of an eye,” Mark countered. “Just be ready for anything. It’ll all work out in the wash.”

  Although he wasn’t entirely sure he believed them, Nate nodded. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.” He gave his mother another hug, suffered through Mark cuffing him hard on the shoulder, and then headed to the garage door. He was about to punch in the code when the door began to rise.

  “That’s a good sign,” Jackie called before she slipped into the passenger seat.

  With a smile, Nate ducked under the slowly rising door and headed into the garage. After a bracing breath, he opened the door and stepped inside the mudroom. He shed his jacket and entered the kitchen.

  Dani was waiting for him, leaning back against the island with her arms crossed under her breasts and a forlorn frown on her face.

  He wasn’t sure what to think about that, whether she was angry he’d shown up or was still upset about last night. The strange thing was that his physical response to her closeness was immediate. Devastating. The desire to take her into his arms, to soothe away any hurt he’d inflicted, was almost impossible to resist. He wanted to kiss her senseless. He wanted to strip off both of their clothes. And he wanted to take her now, right there against the wall.

  This was more than trust, more than need.

  This was love, the kind a man never got over.

  Her wary gaze brought him quickly back to his senses. If he did everything he wanted to do, he’d never be able to stay the course the way everyone had advised him. So instead of attacking her as he longed to, he stuck with the game plan he’d formed with his mother and Mark. Steady the course. One step at a time.

  Makes me sound like an alcoholic.

  “Hi.” His voice was deep and gravelly.

  She didn’t erupt as he’d thought she would, although her brows knit in confusion, most likely at his tone, the one he always had when she’d aroused him. Then she simply said, “Hi.”

  Having been prepared to weather an emotional storm, Nate wasn’t sure whether he should breathe a sigh of relief or start to panic. Going on instinct, he addressed his first problem. “I was wondering… should I be talking to Connor
about finding a new place to rent?”

  Thankfully, she shook her head.

  “So I can stay in the basement?”

  She nodded.

  If she’d only say something, anything, maybe then he could gauge her mood. His only clue was an enigmatic frown that told him next to nothing. “For how long?”

  “Pardon?”

  “I mean… can I stay for the rest of the school year? Or only until Connor can find me someplace else to go?”

  “For as long as you want to, although…” She kept talking, but her words became a mumble far too soft for him to hear.

  “What did you say?”

  “Nothing.” Bottom lip quivering, she pushed away from the island. “Never mind.” Then she headed toward the staircase at a brisk pace.

  Whatever she’d said had clearly been important, perhaps even offering him some insight as to whether this battle to win her back would be fruitless.

  He had to know.

  Nate hurried after her, grabbing her upper arm just as she reached the first step. “Wait. Please. I need to know what you said.”

  Dani shook her head, but she didn’t try to jerk her arm away, nor did she give his restraining hand a withering stare. If he judged her reaction correctly—especially when she turned back to face him—she didn’t truly want to leave.

  He tossed the game plan right out the window right then and there. The tension—the same pull that had been there from that very first kiss—practically made the air around them crackle. There could be no slow winning back of her trust, no gentle nudging her back into a relationship. No drawn-out courtship to pull her back to his side. The confrontation was now. His love for her would allow no less.

  “Please, sweetheart.” He inwardly winced at the endearment, but it slipped out of him so casually. So habitually. And it was exactly what she was to him, the best and sweetest part of his heart. “Come sit down and talk to me. Please.”

  Her teeth worried her bottom lip. “I… I…” She dropped her gaze to the stairs. “I can’t.”

  Words crowded in his mind, apologies and pleas and questions flooding his thoughts until he wasn’t at all sure where to begin. The one thought that trumped the rest was simple.

  So Nate spoke that thought aloud. “I love you, Dani.”

  Her head popped up, her eyes wide.

  “I mean it. I love you. I always will.”

  She shook her head as her whole body trembled. “You don’t mean it. Not after last night—”

  “I’m really sorry about that. I should’ve known better. I’d like to at least try to make it up to you.”

  “You’re sorry? You’re sorry?”

  “I sure as hell am,” he replied, hoping she heard the conviction in his voice. “It was wrong of me to pressure you into making that important a decision. I can only hope one day you’ll forgive me for being such an idiot.”

  Her blue eyes searched his. “You’re apologizing? To me?”

  “Well, yeah… At least I’m trying to.”

  Tears spilled over her lashes as she laughed, a haunting sound that hit him like a blow to the chest.

  “I know I hurt you,” Nate said, stroking her upper arms now. “I’ll try to make up for that every day for the rest of our lives. If you’ll let me.”

  * * *

  Dani couldn’t find a single word to utter. She was just so shocked at what Nate was saying.

  He was apologizing to her. After the humiliation she’d put him through last night, he was apologizing to her!

  Her heart suddenly felt full yet also as light as a feather. For the first time since she’d fallen in love with this wonderful man, she truly believed that he loved her in return. There was no other reason he would try to accept responsibility for her mistake.

  Everything inside her was screaming for him, needing to show him the depth of her devotion. She looped her arms around his neck and planted her lips against his.

  Although she’d expected he would stiffen and maybe even push her away, he didn’t. Instead, a low, needful growl rose from his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the stair.

  Dani moaned against his lips before stroking her tongue across his, returning his thrust with a parry that found her tongue in his mouth. She tried to tell him with her body what she simply couldn’t find the words to say. With her kiss, she begged for his forgiveness and let him know that he had hers. And her heart as well.

  There would be time to talk. After. But at that moment, she needed him, needed his touch, his kiss. She needed him deep inside her body.

  Nate turned and pinned her against the door to his basement. In between heated kisses, he jerked her sweater over her head and cast it aside. Then he opened the clasp on her bra and helped her shrug it away. His heated palms covered her breasts as his mouth claimed hers again.

  Slipping her hands between them, she fumbled with Nate’s khakis—the same ones he’d worn the night before. After unbuckling his belt, popping the waistband button, and unzipping him, she shoved the pants and his briefs over his hips. They fell around his ankles. She stopped kissing him long enough to rip open his dress shirt, loving how they both laughed when the buttons rained down on the floor tiles like hailstones.

  Framing his face in her hands, Dani stared into Nate’s eyes as he unfastened her jeans. “I want you.”

  His hands slid over her hips as he pushed her garment down her body. “I want you, too. You’re all I’ll ever need, sweetheart.”

  He kissed her, smiling as she tried to kick her jeans aside. He nibbled the tender skin on her neck, working his way down to her collarbone and then to one breast. When he drew the hardened nipple deep into his mouth, she tunneled her fingers through his hair and arched into him. After torturing her with his tongue and teeth, he moved to her other breast to continue his sweet torment.

  Body on fire, she clung to him, letting him pull her higher and higher. “Nate. Now.”

  As he pressed his body against hers, she marveled in the myriad sensations. The heat of his cock pressing against her lower belly. The cold of the wood on the skin of her back. The taste of his kiss as his tongue slid in and out, mimicking the act she so desperately wanted.

  His actions became less controlled, fiercer. He held her waist as he lifted her so she could wrap her legs around his hips as he slid his erection inside her, a swift thrust that made her gasp in surprise and splendor.

  Dani squeezed Nate hard with her thighs as she held tight to his shoulders. His strength amazed her, the sleek muscles rolling beneath her fingertips. He set a rough cadence, slamming into her again and again as he buried his face against her neck, his breaths every bit as choppy as hers.

  The wave of heat began in her core and spread like wildfire through her entire body. She cried out, calling to him to join her.

  A few more deep thrusts, and he groaned as he buried himself to the hilt, shuddering as he came.

  * * *

  Nate sauntered out of the master bathroom, still gloriously naked. A thrill of delight made Dani smile. That gorgeous body belonged to her, and she’d never be stupid enough to let him go again.

  She lifted the sheet so he could slide into bed beside her. After their spontaneous combustion in the kitchen, he’d carried her to the bedroom. She’d made a hasty trip to the bathroom before he took a turn cleaning up.

  After leaning back against the headboard, he tugged her against his side. She rested her cheek on his shoulder, trying to figure out the best way to start this conversation. If she waited too much longer, the tenderness between them could easily grow awkward.

  “I love you, Nate.”

  “After what just happened, I’d sure as hell hope so,” he teased, sliding his fingers through her loose hair. “I love you, too. And thank you for forgiving me so easily.”

  Dani sat up to look into his eyes. “But I didn’t.”

  “Didn’t what?”

  “Forgive you.”

  The only thing that would have
made him appear more confused was if he’d scratched his head. “You don’t forgive me?”

  “I don’t have to,” she insisted. “What happened last night—”

  “Was entirely my fault. I should never have tried to trap you like that. I knew better. I did. I was just so damned afraid of losing you. I shouldn’t—”

  She stopped him by putting her hand over his mouth. “Stop. Please. Just listen to me for a minute. Okay?”

  Although he took a moment or two to think it over, he nodded. As she pulled her hand back, he grabbed it and pulled her index finger into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it before finally releasing her.

  The action sent the desire inside her soaring, but she still had so much to say to him. While she might wish they could make love again and forget this difficult conversation, there were so many things she needed to tell him.

  Dani took a deep breath and tried to explain all she was feeling. “What you did last night for me was the most romantic thing in the world.”

  “What?”

  “Just listen, Nate.” He nodded, so she pressed on. “It was sweet and romantic and I’m thoroughly ashamed of myself for being such a bitch about it.” She shook her head when he opened his mouth, and he quickly closed it again. “After all the time we’ve had together, I have to admit something to you. Until last night, I always thought in the back of my mind that what we had wasn’t going to be permanent.”

  “I proposed to you, Dani. I wanted to marry you. How could you not think that would last?”

  “Marriage isn’t always forever, and we both know that. And before you ask, it wasn’t because of you. It was my own fears that made me doubt you and kept me from giving you my complete trust.”

  Picking up her hand, he gave it a squeeze. “I hear a but in that statement. Does that mean you trust me now?”

  She nodded. “With all my heart.”

  “Care to tell me what I did to earn that trust?”

  “I wish I knew,” she confessed with a shrug. “It was so strange… I was so angry at you, but not because you sprang that proposal and the hasty wedding plans on me. Because when you did, I realized I’d been doing nothing up to that point but playing house with you.”