Breaking His Rules

by Aliza Mann

  “I love this. I love you, Ash.” I realized in that moment the response had never been true before. The men I’d been with had been only my lovers. None like this. No one like Ash. “I do…Ash, I love you,” I whispered amid all the sounds of sex, a contrast so stark it would have been out of place at any other time.

  “I love you, Terra.”

  His mouth clamped down over mine and we connected, mouth to mouth. Heart to heart. Our skin slick with sweat and moving against each other in silken motion, each glide adding to the growing tension deep inside my body.

  His kiss was rough, then soft. His hands gripped my thighs and maneuvered them over his shoulders with only the briefest interruption of his lips on mine. Then his hands were in my hair, pulling at the strands in a grip that bordered on pain but was mostly pleasure.

  I cried out, the powerful surge of orgasm coming fast and hard in a wave that started at the very top of my head and ran rampant through me, leaving a trail of tremors that wracked my body. My sex tightened and released, tightened and released, as if it was massaging his cock in order to drain every ounce of nectar from his body.

  He stiffened, his body pulsing inside mine as the bed responded the force of his powerful tempo. The scratching of the legs across the floor and the banging of the headboard against the wall tapped out in staccato across the room.

  “Terra, I’m going to come. Just tell me and I’m letting go. Did you? Huh, baby? Did you come?” His voice was rushed and came in bursts between the panting.

  “Yes, it’s coming…I’m coming,” I breathed, just squeaks of words, since I had nothing left to give. Not even the sound of my voice.

  Ashton drilled his cock into me, his hips attaining lightning speed as I exclaimed a near-silent cry, the ripple of yet another orgasm building inside me. A coolness took hold and washed over my hot flesh.

  “Bloody hell,” Ashton exclaimed, his body shuddering and jerking as he poured his seed inside me. Heated liquid filled me, and I ground against him, allowing one of the most powerful waves of eroticism I’d ever experienced to pulse from my body.

  As our powerless bodies jerked to a stop, we lay on each other’s arms until our breathing stabilized. Until the involuntary spasms ended. Until sweat ceased to pour from our skin. In silence and postcoital bliss, we held each other with hearts beating as one.

  “What is it about sex that makes you want to run through a meadow with your arms wide open, becoming one with the world?” I laughed into the crook of his neck, his warm scent only adding to the aura.

  “First,” he said, raising to look at me, “not all sex has that effect. Second, I don’t get that image. I feel like I’m floating above the clouds.” A quick peck on the lips and he rolled from my body, gathered me into his embrace, and pulled me close from behind.

  “Tomorrow we’re going to the gym. All we do is have sex and eat. It’s becoming a vicious cycle,” I said.

  “Outside is overrated. I figure we can live in here for years without ever going outside. What do you say we give it a go?”

  “An awesome proposition, but we can’t live off love alone.”

  “Who says?” he said, then pressed his lips to my shoulder, sending another round of shivers throughout my body.

  “You’re so silly,” I responded, pressing my body even closer into his. “You know, I don’t think I would have gotten through today without you behind me. I didn’t even realize what a nightmare my life had become. It was like a really bad odor you just get used to because you’ve been around it for so long. Then one day, you get a breath of fresh air. You can finally breathe again. That’s what it was like.” The sting of tears burned into my eyes, overflowing until they ran the length of my cheeks. “You’re my air, Ash.” The lump in my throat was so strong I struggled to force the rest of the words around it. “You mean the world to me. If you hadn’t been there—” I stopped when I couldn’t go any further. Couldn’t even utter the words that accompanied the horrible vision in my mind.

  “Shhh…You don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here to catch bullets and kill spiders. Anything that ever threatens you. If I’m your air, you are my lungs, my heart, and my soul. You see, I don’t think you understand me when I say I’ve never felt anything quite like this before. It was as if I hadn’t heard sound or seen color until you barged into my life and demanded a seat. I am so glad you did, Terra Elizabeth Ellis. Sometimes, you don’t know what you need until it’s there, just in front of you. Then boom. Your life begins.”

  I was full-on sobbing when I felt his arms tighten around my waist and the warm trail of kisses he left down my shoulder and arm. It felt so good to be held. To be loved. “Thank you, Ash. No one has ever…”

  “Well, that’s good. I pride myself in my creativity. Seems like I should get one get-out-of-jail-free card for the future in case I muck it up.”

  I swiped at the tears, a laugh-sob escaping simultaneously. “Nothing doing, buddy. You’ll have to take your punishment like a man. Scratch that. You’ll have to take it like a woman. With careful regard of your wrongdoing and a sincere apology while acknowledging your commitment to doing better in the future.”

  “It’ll be a stretch, but anything for you, my lady.”

  “Now, when you say that, you don’t sound pompous at all.”

  “That’s because I mean it. With my whole heart. And not because I’m a little afraid of that temper of yours.”

  Ash’s body quaked against mine with his laughter and he kissed me once more. There, in the quiet of the evening, I allowed myself to slip a bit more. The little girl inside dared to crack the door open again, but instead of trepidation, she burst forth with her head high, her arms wide open, and took what she’d always desired without fear. It was a good feeling that. for once, I would not deny myself. Not ever again.

  Chapter 23

  Ashton

  THREE WEEKS LATER

  Terra was the opposite of everything that I’d included in my rules for relationships playbook. She knew my entire family history and I knew hers. She was very much a leader, always the most magnificent woman in the room, and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning with me to talk about every detail of our day. She was a big flashing neon sign with the letters C-A-U-T-I-O-N in bright red.

  The confusing thing was, I’d gone to the jewelry store the week before and bought the ring. I even dragged Gary with me, who was razzing me the whole way. I couldn’t have cared less. Not about his razzing, not about the list, not anything would get in my way. There wasn’t anything that would keep me from spending the rest of my life with her.

  It killed me to keep it a secret. Because there was not a single thing I didn’t want to tell her about my life. Were it not for my chickenshit nerves, I would have asked her a week ago.

  But I had a plan, see. There was a special way that I wanted to do it. Nothing else would do. So there I sat waiting for her as she tried on yet another dress. The first one was too revealing, she’d said. Not to me, I’d replied.

  The next was too springy, and since it was still winter, it needed to be warmer.

  The one after was too short, because it was Michigan after all, and no sense freezing under her coat. “There could be a snowstorm,” she’d said. I said, “We’ll be in a car.” “I have no sense when I comes to women’s clothes, honestly,” she’d said.

  I heard her descending the stairs and tossed up a silent prayer while sitting on my favorite couch in the whole world. Hers. We would have to live at her place when we wed, I thought. Her place was a home. Mine was nothing more than a shack.

  Glancing at my phone, I worried over whether we would be late, but whatever. She was worth the wait.

  “Ready?”

  “Yes, Terra. I’ve been ready for hours now. You really are Terra the Terrible Time Manager, you know that?”

/>   “Okay, weird. Did you know I make up names for people, too?” she asked. I glanced over to the stairs to find her peeking down the landing. I couldn’t fully see her body, only the open-toe black boots she was wearing. She was bent over at the waist, her long curly hair spilling over her shoulders.

  “Really? What’s my name, then? Let’s hear it.”

  “Ashton the Ass Grabber. Okay. Time for the big reveal.”

  “That’s a terrible name, by the way. Now get your butt down here. We’re going to be late. I said we’d be there by four.”

  “Okay.” Terra stood, her shapely legs coming fully into view. She’d put on a remarkable dress, gray with green details, a long silver chain that fell nearly to her waist, and conservative earrings. Little studs that glinted in the sunshine that shone through the living room window. She’d pushed her hair back behind her ears like she always did when she was nervous. Which I loved. “What do you think?”

  “I think that’s the first dress you put on, sweetheart.” I watched as her face dropped and she squinted her eyes at me, my first sign of her being pissed at me.

  “It is. But I changed the accessories. It’s a little less like spring.” She held out the long chain, then stuck her little foot out to show me the open toes.

  “Uh-huh. You look incredible. You always look incredible.”

  “You always say that.”

  “What can I say? I picked the most splendid woman in the world. Now, let’s go. Please. Can we please?”

  She poked her lip out and grabbed the black raincoat from the chair before sliding it on.

  I stood and went over to help her, lifting it over her shoulders and running my hands down her arms after. “Beautiful,” I whispered into her hair from behind before gently kissing her head.

  “Not too much?”

  “Never.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door, picking up her purse and handing it to her before we left.

  We were in my car finally and I made haste getting there. I had said four after all.

  I pulled into the parking lot, worn already from rock salt to combat the snow and ice. Potholes were forming everywhere, so I slowly guided my car into one of the spots near the front. Before getting out of the car, I looked over at her. “You sure about this? I mean, it’s not one of the happiest things to do. It’s not quite Disney.” Closing my eyes, I turned my head forward to avoid seeing the hell no I’m sure was written in her eyes.

  “Yes. I absolutely am. Thank you for bringing me. I’m here for whatever you need, Ashton. Especially the hard stuff. Okay?”

  I looked back at her, and none of what I’d expected was there. She was smiling at me, her big hazel eyes locked on mine and a glow on her cheeks. She meant what she said. I felt it stirring in my soul. I couldn’t help but kiss her, full on, pressing my mouth to hers. She pulled me in close, but when my hand went to her breast, she stopped me. “Hey there, mister. It took me a solid hour to get dressed. You want me to look nice or like I got felt up in the car?”

  “Trust me, he won’t even notice,” I said. I fixed my jacket and got out, walking around to her side of the car and opening her door. It’d taken me a month to get her used to me opening her doors. It had never been a big deal for me with any other woman. Just one more thing that set her apart. She made me want to do all the shit that you saw men doing for women they loved. And to think I’d been one of those guys, like Gary, who was starting to do his own romancing for Gloria. We went on couples date nights, for crying out loud.

  “Okay, ready?” I asked, taking her hand and helping her from the car.

  “Yes. Very much so.”

  I held on to her hand, pulling it close to me as I grabbed the door and let her in first. It took only a second to reach the reception desk. A bit longer for the woman working there to acknowledge us. To be fair, she was buried in charts. “Hello, how may I help you folks?” Her voice was heavy with a midwestern accent, much like Gloria’s.

  “Yes, I’m here to see my father, Benton Lyle, please.”

  “Ah yes. Mr. Lyle is in the activities room. He said his son was coming today. He always talks about you, you know.” She was smiling at me in the way that people do when they’d heard good things about you.

  “Really?”

  “Oh yes, he thinks you are awesome. Told me twice where he was so I wouldn’t keep you waiting.”

  I felt Terra’s hand squeeze my arm and she leaned over, giving me a half hug of sorts. “Yes, well…we’d better not keep him waiting,” I said, becoming quite uncomfortable with all the compliments. I’d never actually gotten them before, not since my mother, and no one until Terra, so the warm feeling in my stomach was a bit much.

  We followed the woman in her bright scrubs with penguins on them down the hallway. The wall colors hadn’t changed since my last visit, but for some reason, the place didn’t seem so dismal anymore. Perhaps that had been my own perception in the past. Go figure.

  She led us into a room where tables and couches were set up everywhere. He’d never been there when I’d come before, but there he was. He was sitting in the chair nearest to the window, his salt-and-pepper hair getting a little thin on top. I could tell from the back.

  Before we reached him, I leaned over to Terra to whisper, “She may have been being a little nice. He doesn’t really speak that much, so don’t take it personally.”

  She simply nodded and took a few steps behind me to allow me to reach him first. Even though we’d been talking on the phone about once a week, I hadn’t actually come for a visit. It was still as if he had to practice speaking to me on the phone. I guess a person can’t go for years in silence without some of that hanging on. But he was better. At least he made sounds of agreement or disagreement, even laughing from time to time.

  I walked around his chair and stepped close to my father. “Dad,” I said, in a lower tone than I normally would. I hadn’t wanted to startle him.

  He looked up at me and smiled. He didn’t say anything, but I actually hadn’t expected him to.

  “This is Terra. She’s my…my girlfriend and called you after my accident. Terra, this is my father, Benton.” I stepped aside and watched as she extended her hand and smiled at him.

  “Hello, Mr. Lyle. It is very nice to finally meet you in person.” She leaned forward, taking the hand he’d extended, and then kissed him on the cheek.

  With a motion, he waved at me to sit down, but he didn’t release Terra’s hand. She held his and stared down at him. My father was just…gazing at her. For a moment I grew uncomfortable. What if he didn’t like her? What if the surprise had been too much?

  Instead of sitting, I reached for Terra to get her out of her tight situation.

  “No, no, Ashton. It’s just that for a moment I thought about what your mother would have said. Honey,” he said, pulling on her hand before placing his other on top of it.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “My wife would have absolutely loved you. Please, have a seat. Talk to me for a while,” he said. His accent just as thick as ever, but something was different. He was smiling. I hadn’t seen that in…I couldn’t remember when.

  I regained my composure, handling the choking sensation in my throat by coughing a bit to clear it up. “How are you, Dad?” I said when I could speak. I sat across from them. Terra had sat in the chair that was right beside his. Probably because he hadn’t let go of her hand.

  “I am well, son. I’ve missed you. You know that? I’ve been thinking of you a lot.”

  I leaned forward on my chair, patting my pocket to make sure Terra’s ring was there. “I’ve missed you, too, Dad. I wanted you to meet Terra, because…well, she’s really special to me.”

  “Yeah, she is quite wonderful. And I can tell she has a tremendous heart.”

  Terra beamed, her eyes flashing at me, tears threatening to fall.<
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  “She is. So, um…”

  “Son, you know, you’re a goner when your actions are no longer your own. If there is ever a time you find yourself turning your back on all your friends, changing your ways…wanting to change the world for a woman…you keep her.” My father, whose face seemed somewhat thinner than it had been, said, “You keep her and change her world. Promise me that, son. That’s what happened with your mother. And you know what, Ashton? I missed her more than life itself. So much so, I let you down. That’s been—”

  “I know, Dad.”

  “No. No, you don’t know. That’s been my greatest failure. But you were so strong, you keep right on going. And look at you now. So successful. With a wonderful woman on your arm. I couldn’t be prouder of you.”

  I had to clear my throat again. I wanted to keep it together for the next part, but my heart was exploding in my chest. All these years, so many years later, through all the pain, watching my father die a little more day after day…All of it was gone in the blink of an eye. With his words, I was finally able to let go. All of my anger toward him seemed to melt away.

  It must have been a few minutes that passed before I could even move. But once I could, I stood up and hugged the man. We embraced until I felt his arms go weak. I realized it must have been exhausting holding me like that, but I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed that very thing.

  I took a seat and saw Terra lean over and kiss him on his forehead. She then got up and did the same for me, her lilac-scented perfume lingering after she moved back to her chair. She was crying already.

  “So, Dad…I wanted to tell you something. You see, the thing is, I have found the woman who has taken away…Well, she’s taken my ability to even think on my own. The woman sitting beside you, Terra Elizabeth Ellis, is the best thing to ever barge into my life and demand a seat beside me. The thing is…I love her and I want you to know that if she’ll have me, she will one day be your daughter-in-law.”