Racing For Freedom

by Bec Botefuhr

  My mother was the kind of beautiful that stopped people in their tracks. Not only that, but she had this personality to go with it. Her laugh was infectious, her voice like a song. She was beautiful inside and out. She had the same blonde hair as me, only her eyes were blue. I got my brown eyes from my dad, it’s about all I got from him. The rest of me is all her, and there are days, I’m sure, it pains my father to look at me.

  I wash my face with some cool water, and then I turn and head out of my room. When I’m down the stairs, my father is standing in the kitchen, pulling a packet of potato crisps out of the pantry. Oh dad. I wish he would take better care of himself. I wish he would just pick himself up and move on. I know it’s hard, it’s always hard to move on and pick yourself back up again, but eventually you have to do it. My father doesn’t want to do it. He doesn’t even want to try. He lets guilt swallow him and lead him further and further into darkness.

  “Dad, that’s not healthy.” I chastise, gripping my keys off the counter top.

  He looks up at me, his mouth is moving slowly as he crunches away. He swallows and then smiles. “You don’t worry about me Dash, go and have fun.”

  “Dad, you know I do worry about you. I don’t want you eating foods that will make you…sick.”

  “Or fat.” He points out with a smile.

  “Dad…”

  “Sorry Dash, I’ll go easy. How are you feeling about the race this afternoon?”

  I shrug. “As good as can be expected.”

  “You just remember what I taught you and don’t let Slade taunt you, he is doing it to hit you where it hurts.”

  “I know dad.”

  I hear a car pull up out the front and I’m grateful Lucas is here already. I quickly kiss dad on the cheek and then rush out before he can say anymore. I leap down the front steps two at a time and grin when Lucas slides out of the car. He’s gorgeous really, with blonde hair, blue eyes and that light olive skin. Today he’s dressed in a tight fitting white shirt and blue jeans, a pair of sun glasses cover his eyes. I smile and rush over, tucking my arms around his waist.

  “Hey Dash, I’ve missed you.”

  I pull back and peer up at him with a smile. Part of me wants so much to love Lucas the way he loves me, but the other part of me is stuck in the past and I don’t want to be the girl that plays with a man’s heart. Until I can give my entire heart to him, then I won’t give him any at all. Well, to a point anyway, he knows I love him to death, in the friendship way. Lucas has been with me for two years now and he’s been my rock during many hard times.

  “I’ve missed you too Luke, thanks for taking me today.”

  “Always, how are you feeling about racing Slade again?”

  Lucas knows about Slade and me, he’s probably the only person who does. I frown and rest my cheek against his chest.

  “I’m ok with it, I have to be, I guess.”

  “Just keep your head in the game and forget he’s even there.”

  “He makes that kind of hard.”

  Lucas snorts. “Yeah, well, I’ll be there. Just focus on me.”

  I beam up at him. “Thanks Lucas, you’re the best.”

  He kisses my forehead. “Always.”

  Chapter Three

  The race track is fairly empty when we arrive. It’s not a scheduled race, more of a practice to gather our best times, so only the sponsors and VIP’s come down. When Lucas pulls up, I slide out of the car and pull my sunglasses down over my eyes. Lucas takes my hand and we begin walking towards the group of people standing by the four cars that are ready to race. When I see my manager and friend, John, I smile. He walks over smiling at me.

  “How are you feeling today, Dash?”

  “Good, ready to kick Slade’s ass.”

  He chuckles and stares back over at the group of people. “He’s got a cheer squad.”

  I peer over and see Slade standing in a pair of jeans and a black and white racing shirt. He’s surrounded by women and one in particular catches my eye. She’s blonde, skinny and has boobs that are pretty much busting out of her tiny red top. She’s holding his hand and running her hands all over him. Slade has a girl now? Why is my chest clenching? I hate that after three years, he still makes my heart feel like it’s being wrenched from my chest.

  “Well, let’s get this over with.” I mutter.

  We walk across the dirt track and stop at the group of people. Slade looks over at me and his eyes scan my body, causing shivers to run up my spine. I hate when he looks at me like that, and then runs his tongue over his bottom lip. It gives me tingles right to my core.

  “Dashy, you made it.”

  “Yes, I did. How’s your groin?” I smirk.

  The blonde girl grips his arm and slides her hand over his chest. “Oh, his groin is just fine.”

  I glare at her. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

  “Dashy, this is my girlfriend Kandee.”

  “That’s Kandee with a K and EE,” she adds in with a smile.

  I snort. “It doesn’t matter how you spell it, you’re still named after a sweet treat.”

  “Well, I think it’s wicked that she’s named after something sweet, firm and fuckin’ yummy.” Slade grins, sliding his tongue over his bottom lip and grinning down at her. Ugh, mega jerk.

  “Depends how you look at it,” I add, “I think of it more like something that tastes nice for a moment, but then it turns to shit and gets disposed of like old trash. The thrill is really only there for what? Two minutes?”

  Kandee gapes at me and Slade’s grin widens. Lucas snorts a laugh and John chuckles, but attempts to cover it with a cough.

  Slade takes the taunt with a grin, like he always does. “I look forward to racing my hot headed little mate once more.”

  “I hope you look forward to losing too,” I scoff.

  “Oh, I won’t lose baby and you know it.”

  I glare at him, he simply smiles that charming smile at me. I shake my head and look away.

  “What, no witty comeback?”

  I turn and my eyes narrow. “I don’t want to waste my breath on someone like you, Slade, it’s not worth my time.”

  I turn and walk off, heading towards my car with a new determination. I won’t let him beat me, not this time.

  “Dash!”

  Lucas is calling me, but I’m not listening. I get to my car, it’s red and white, my favorite colours. The number along the side is ‘77’, also a favorite of mine and my father’s. My car has a blown engine, which in the racing world, means supercharged. It’s the only advantage I have. Slade’s car is top notch and has handy little things that mine doesn’t. He can take me easily in the first ¼ mile, but I usually catch him once my car kicks to life.

  I get into the car and Lucas grips my hand just as I’m pulling on my helmet. “Dash, you’re mad, it’s not safe to race when you’re so angry.”

  I look up at him. “I’m fine, I have to do this Luke.”

  He looks at me painfully. “Don’t let him get to you.”

  I force a smile on my face. “I’m ok, thank you.”

  John appears in the open door space when Lucas steps back, and stares down at me. “Dash, are you sure you’re up for this?”

  “I’m fine, John.”

  “I know I can’t stop you, but think with your head and not your heart out there today. Slade’s in a mood now, and he’s as determined as you are. Let him take the first ¼ mile, you know he takes off quickly and it’s his weakness. Let him get cocky, let him think he’s won and then you plant it.”

  I nod, pulling my helmet down. They shut the door and I start the car. It rumbles beneath me and I sigh, feeling my body relax. It’s the only thing that ever makes me feel ok. The three other drivers, including Slade, are all lined up and ready to go. I focus on the three lights in front of me, not bothering to look anywhere else but where I have to go. My fingers are curled around the steering wheel and I’m ready to prove that I can do this.

  John gives the
go ahead and we each begin the warm up laps. John and Slade’s manager Leo, take all the times to find out where we are set up on the starting grid. I release the clutch and my car surges forward, purring, wanting to be let go. Ah, I love the big girl. I change the gears quickly, picking up speed. I don’t focus on any of the other cars around me unless they come too close, I focus on driving. I pull around a corner, remembering my father’s words. Always focus on where you’re going, look at the end of the corner, not at the start and the car will go with you.

  I pick up speed and I feel that surge of adrenaline run through me. I take her for six good laps, and then we begin our preparation lap where we warm up the tires on the car, to give them better traction for the final race. We surge forward and backwards, the cars hopping like little frogs as we heat the tires. When they’re heated and the race is ready to go, we get lined up on the grid. I’m behind Slade, he’s first as always. I swallow and stare at the back of his blue and white car. Number ‘57’ and well known in the racing world.

  I hold down the clutch and rev the engine, readying myself for take-off. Everyone clears off the track and my eyes focus solely on the road in front of me. I grip the steering wheel at three and nine, which I find gives me better control, and I prepare myself for the lights to change. I watch one light come on the set, then two and then three. I release the clutch and the car surges forward, the back tires skidding just a touch.

  I’m off and am second on the inside, Slade holds the inside lane and my car soon moves up next to his. I watch the corners ahead, changing gears and picking up speed. Slade is good with corners, and it’s definitely his advantage. He knows how to take them at high speeds, where as I haven’t got that down yet. When we come to the first bend, I lay off the accelerator and begin turning the corner. Then I focus on the end of the corner and put my foot back on the gas and the car slides out of the corner with ease. Slade is just up ahead, so I kick the car down a gear and bring it up next to his. We remain side by side until the third corner and the one I can’t seem to get right.

  Slade slides around it with ease, his car clearly taking the bend. Not wanting to lose the race, and letting my pride get the better of me, I don’t slow down. The first part I manage, but then I realize I have gone too far out. I begin losing traction and make the fatal mistake of slamming the breaks on, when I nearly take out the car beside me. My car spins out of control, doing a full three sixty and skidding to a stop on the grass beside the race track. I slam my hands on the wheel and curse, idiot! I’m an idiot!

  John rushes over and soon my door is being flung open. I get out and pull my helmet off, tossing it on the ground beside me with a curse. The paramedics check me over, but I’m so dammed ashamed, I shove them away. After a lot of arguing, they get me to sit down while they check me over. How could I be so dammed stupid? I was trying to be better than him and I flunked out. If I don’t get my act together, I won’t even make it into the championships.

  “Are you hurt?” John asks.

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “Come on, the boys will get your car. Come and sit down.”

  John leads me across the track to where everyone is standing. Lucas rushes over and grips my face, turning it from side to side as he inspects my skin for damage. Then he sighs and pulls me into his arms.

  “Are you ok, Dash?”

  I nod into his shoulder. “I’m ok, just a little shaken up.”

  I notice Slade staring at me when I look over Lucas’ shoulder. Our eyes meet and he doesn’t look cocky, even though I was sure he would. He looks worried.

  “Are you hurt, Dash?” he asks.

  I hold Slade’s gaze, but before I can answer anything, I hear another voice that has me shuddering. I let go of Lucas and take a deep breath.

  “Ah, Dasha, I see nothing has changed. Still hot headed?”

  I turn to see Slade’s father Michael grinning at me. I hate him. I’ve always hated him. He never liked Slade and I getting along when we were younger, even though he never knew the extent of our friendship. A few glances and giggles on the track, was enough for him to build a hate against me and make sure I struggled to ever have a win. He’s evil, in its purest form.

  “Where’s Colby? What? Doesn’t he even come to watch his own daughter race anymore? Is that how important you are to him? You could die out here but he’s too busy drinking himself into a stupor.”

  I flinch and turn my eyes to the ground, don’t let him get to you Dash. Don’t let him in.

  “Dad!” Slade snaps.

  I hear Michael curse silently at him, and then turn back to me. I still haven’t looked up.

  “Nothing to say Dasha? That’s ok, a loser knows when it’s all over. Best you walk away now.”

  I snap my head up and my words seethe from my lips. “I will never give up, he might have given up and I might be on my own, but it will take more than a few cruel words to get me off this track, Mr. Devaroe. Good day.”

  I take Lucas’ hand and I walk off, not looking back. God, this is going to be a long…long few months.

  Chapter Four

  “You should wear red Dash, it’s cute on you.” My best friend Payton says, later that night, as we prepare for her boyfriend’s party.

  “Red? I don’t know.”

  “Come on, you rock red with that blonde hair.”

  I smile at her and she holds up a little red number, wiggling it around and giving me a grin. Payton is quite stunning herself, with dark red hair, light blue eyes and skin like satin. She presses the dress to her body and wiggles seductively and I can’t help but laugh.

  “Come on, it’ll cheer you up.”

  I shake my head and snatch the dress from her hands, sliding it over my head and onto my body. I’m only in my bra and panties. I adjust it and then stare down at the material clinging to my skin. Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve worn anything but jeans and tank tops or racing tops. Payton whistles and I do a twirl. The dress doesn’t move as I spin, it’s that tight. It’s a low v cut and has little tiny diamonds in a diagonal line across my stomach, making the dress shine.

  Payton squeals and pulls out a red pair of shoes. Some fancy title, I wouldn’t know, I don’t own fancy shoes. She shoves me down onto the bed and slips them on my feet. “Ah, the perfect fit, for the perfect Cinderella.”

  I smile and shake my head. “You’re far too romantic.”

  She grins. “I can’t help it, I’m in love!”

  I sigh and roll my eyes. “Uh oh!”

  She’s been with her boyfriend Dean now for six months and she’s head over heels. I’m happy for her, because he really is a nice person. One of those men that adores his lady, and is proud of everything she does. He can never say enough nice things about her. She sits beside me and takes my hand smiling at me.

  “I’m so happy Dash.”

  I beam at her. “I’m happy for you, Pay.”

  “Alright, it’s time for us to kick this party. Do I look ok?”

  I nod my head enthusiastically, she would look good in a garbage bag. “You look amazing, Dean will melt and snatch you away for a quickie as soon as he sees you.”

  She giggles and flushes as though that’s a possibility. Good images for my mind. We stand and both stare at ourselves in the mirror. Payton looks gorgeous in her tight black dress, her hair swept over her shoulder. I take her hand, clutch my purse and we head out the door, shouting goodbye to her dad and mum as we do.

  “Have fun girls, don’t be home too late Payton.”

  “Yes mum, bye!”

  We head out the front door and the air is warm, but slowly beginning to cool down. I love this time of year in Brisbane, it’s always warm.

  “Ready?” Payton asks as we get into her car.

  “Hell yeah, I need a break.”

  “I hear Slade is back in town.”

  I sigh, Payton knows Slade and I don’t like one another, but she doesn’t know why. “Yeah, he’s back and causing problems, but he won’t be there to
night, so I’m just going to enjoy a night without his taunting.”

  “What about Lucas?”

  “Lucas isn’t my boyfriend, Pay.”

  She frowns. “I know, but I wish he was.”

  I sigh. “You know why he’s not. I don’t want to hurt him. After that night we had together, I cut all ties romantically. I don’t want to break his heart Pay, he’s such a beautiful person…and I’m not.”

  “You are honey, you just don’t believe it. Don’t you have any feelings for him at all?”

  “It would be a lie if I said I didn’t have feelings for Lucas, but they’re just not enough. Would I be jealous if he moved on? Sure, but I also want his happiness more. I won’t give myself to someone until I know I’m fully there.”

  “You’re a good person Dash, you really are.”

  I take her hand and smile over at her. “Right back at you, Pay.”

  We arrive at Dean’s house and I smile as we get out of the car and the warm salty wind whips my face. Dean lives right on the beach, his house literally hits the sand. He’s well off, his parents have set him up with everything anyone could ever want and more. Payton takes my hand and leads me up the front steps and into the house. It’s already packed with people. Dean often pulls out some of the best parties.

  We walk into the living area, which is large, open and filled with people. There are couples kissing on the couch, people feeling each other up against walls, girls and guys sitting on the kitchen bench, chatting and drinking. I smile and walk in further, when I hear something that makes my skin crawl and my hand tighten so hard around Payton’s that she squeals and yanks it from my grips.

  “Dashy, who knew you were coming…”

  Slade’s voice curls over me and I shudder, god dammit, where is my luck? I turn slowly, gathering myself enough to make out like him being here doesn’t worry me in the slightest. When I set eyes on him, his gaze has dropped to my dress. Slowly, he drags his eyes up my body and meets my eyes. I’m flushed now and I can feel my lips parting slightly. God, he looks good, why does someone, that’s such an asshole, have to be so god dammed attractive? He’s wearing a V cut racing shirt with short sleeves. His muscles bulge out the side and tense when he moves. He has a dragon tattoo running down one arm, and a racing flag on the other. How original.