Private Lives

by Karen Young

  His face sobered. “Are you hurt anywhere else, Jennifer?”

  “I bumped my backside when he tossed me across the deck, but since I’m standing and walking I guess there’s no permanent damage.”

  “And that’s all? Nothing else?”

  She frowned. “What else could—” Her face cleared and her mouth shaped a round O. “Oh, you mean that? Like rape or something.”

  He winced. Was there anything that daunted a teenage girl? “Yeah, that.”

  “No, Dad. I’m still a virgin.”

  God, give me strength. He took her arm. “C’mon, let’s go to the car.”

  “Where’s Jesse?” she asked, realizing the little girl was nowhere in sight.

  “While you were talking to Detective Steele, Liz took her to the yacht club. I got us a couple of rooms there so you can get cleaned up before the drive back to Houston. After you shower, you can put something on that doesn’t smell like fish.”

  She looked down at herself. “Dad, I didn’t exactly get to pack a suitcase for this trip. I don’t have anything else to wear.”

  “Not a problem. Lindsay’s on her way with clothes for you and Jesse.”

  “Wow, okay! She’s like a model, you know?”

  “I know.” With his arm still around her, they started up the long pier to the car. “You really are the hero of the day, Jen,” he said, giving her another quick squeeze. “It was pretty ingenious using a shrimp net to keep warm. And we’re all impressed with your resourcefulness. You’re one smart cookie, sugar.”

  “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.”

  “Like I said, a real smarty-pants.” He tweaked her ear. “But it took pure, raw courage to jump in that cold water. I don’t know many men who would have had the courage to do that, Jen.”

  “It was that or let Jesse drown, Dad. I really didn’t have any choice.”

  “We always have choices. You were presented with a hard one. Austin failed and you didn’t. I’m so proud of you, Jen. I don’t know if I could have measured up in a crisis any better than you did today.”

  “Better than I did the day I drove off and left Rick bruised and hurting on the street, huh?” She was still smiling, but there was an anxious look in her eyes.

  “I’m thinking this cancels that debt, honey. You risked your life today.”

  “It was a second chance to do the right thing,” she said quietly.

  Ryan stopped. There was a piling that made a good place to sit. He urged her over and crouched down in front of her. “That’s an interesting way to look at it. We don’t always get second chances in life. You learned it early.” He paused, looking beyond her to the Gulf, hoping to find the right words. “I’ve had some time to think about second chances myself these past weeks, Jen. It’s been great having you in my house, seeing you every day. I’d like for you to think about staying.”

  “You mean like…forever?”

  He smiled. “As long as forever, yeah, if you’re willing.” His smile faded again. “I haven’t measured up as a father, Jen, and I’d like a second chance. You know the reasons for the divorce. At the time, I wanted to blame your mother. But I’ve been thinking lately about the reasons she was unhappy enough to seek something she didn’t find in our marriage. Maybe if I’d spent as much time being a good husband and father as I spent on furthering my career, there wouldn’t have been a divorce.”

  “Are you thinking you and Mom might get together again?”

  He studied her face, hoping an honest answer wouldn’t dash a secret fantasy. He knew many kids of divorced parents dreamed of the time the family would be whole again. “That’s not going to happen, Jen. I hope you’re not wishing for it.”

  “I might have once, Dad,” his daughter said with insight beyond her years, “but to tell the truth, I don’t see you and Mom making a go of it now. Mom’s not exactly the constant type, you know? I mean, I love her and all that, but she did have an affair while still married and that’s wrong. Then she got married again but that didn’t last, either. Then she found somebody else. I guess I should be glad she didn’t decide to marry him, too. It would have been hubby number three. I could get confused with all those stepfathers. And now it’s Gerald, bald-headed and rich, sure to be number three. When’ll she stop?” She was shaking her head. “No, I think you stand a better chance of a good solid marriage with Liz.”

  “Liz.”

  “You’re in love with her, Dad. I’ve known it for weeks.”

  “Weeks, huh?”

  “You’re not gonna deny it, are you?”

  He stood up, pulled her to her feet, wrapped an arm around her and started once more toward the car. “You’re something else, Miss Jennifer Paxton. Did I ever tell you that?”

  “You’re something else, too, Dad.” She looked up at him with a devil in her blue eyes. “And the next time we talk, you can tell me the facts of life.”

  He laughed, grabbed her head with one hand and ruffled up her hair. “You wish, brat.”

  “If I live with you, it’s your responsibility!” she shrieked, laughing.

  God, he felt great! He glanced up and saw that it was going to be a beautiful day, bright and sunny and warm. Yeah, he had a lot to be grateful for. “I love you, Jen.”

  “I love you, too, Daddy.”

  Jesse lay quiet and still as Elizabeth read the last words in the story. Miss Spider’s Wedding was still Jesse’s favorite. Smiling, Elizabeth closed it. She liked it herself. If the book had been written for adults, it would have been a romance novel. A lady spider looking for Mr. Right. “Okay, that’s it, sweetie. Time to say good-night.”

  “Is the door locked, Aunt Lizzie?”

  Elizabeth sighed, caught the little girl’s hand and held it to her cheek. “Yes, love, the door is locked. You and I are safe in our house.”

  “Because my daddy is locked up, right? He did something bad, so the good policeman took him away in his car with the blue lights.”

  Oh, Lord, what to say that wouldn’t further damage this child? Jessie’d seen it all on the dock: Austin’s meltdown, Elizabeth’s near-hysteria, the divers searching the water. There hadn’t been any way to prevent it in the confusion of those first minutes when Jen and Jesse emerged from the boat. “Yes, your daddy did something bad, Jesse. It’s wrong to kidnap children. It’s a serious crime. And when grown-ups commit a crime, they are punished by being locked away in a special place.”

  “For how long?”

  Until hell freezes over was not an acceptable reply. “For a long, long time, Jess. You will not be seeing your daddy for several years.”

  “I’m not sad.”

  Elizabeth stroked a soft cheek. “That’s okay, too.”

  “I’m sad about Mommy.”

  Elizabeth’s throat went tight. She waited a moment, then spoke huskily. “I’m sad, too, darling. So here’s what we’ll do. We’ll think of ways to always remember your mommy. We have pictures and we have things she’s given us. Best of all, we have so many memories of your mommy.”

  Jesse looked up at the ceiling in deep thought. “I’ll get some paper when I get up tomorrow and I’ll color something and decorate it and I’ll use some of that glue on a stick to put real flowers on it. Papa Louie will let me pick any of his flowers that I want.”

  “Papa Louie is very good to you and that’s because he loves you.” Elizabeth managed a smile. “I love you, too.”

  “You want me to count the people I love?” Jesse asked, preparing to sit up. Elizabeth touched her gently.

  “You can tell me lying down.”

  Jesse held up both hands and counted off the people she loved, one on each finger. “I love you and I love Jennifer and I love Papa Louie and I love Archie.” She wrinkled her nose, thinking. “Is that all?”

  Elizabeth laughed softly. “I don’t know, is it?”

  “I guess I love Ryan, too, because Jennifer says he’s the best daddy in the world. She told me that and I asked if he could be my daddy, to
o, because I didn’t have such a good one.” She looked earnestly into Elizabeth’s eyes. “Do you think Jennifer would share?”

  “I think she just might, love.”

  Once Jesse was asleep, the house seemed too empty and still to Elizabeth. How soon she’d changed from a semi-recluse to a person who welcomed the presence of those she loved. She walked through the den, opened the patio doors and slipped outside. She could hear Jesse if she woke up, but Elizabeth didn’t think that would happen. A miracle really, considering everything yet somehow—incredibly—the whole episode seemed to have brought about much needed closure to Jesse. Odd, that. Rather than trying to puzzle it out, Elizabeth was simply thankful tonight that both Jesse and Jennifer were safe and that Austin was in custody, hopefully no longer a threat to anybody else, ever.

  Night sounds were everywhere around her. Comforting sounds. And the pleasing scent of her flowers, of Louie’s roses. She breathed it all in. But still…

  Across the way, she could see lights in Louie’s house. He had been waiting today when she and Ryan arrived in the SUV with the girls. Both Jen and Jesse had run to him and been gathered in a grandfatherly hug. He was visibly shaken as he met her eyes over their heads. Then afterward, there had been a melancholy look about him and Elizabeth knew that her own joy wouldn’t be complete until she and Louie were reconciled.

  As late as it was, he should be in bed, she thought now, falling naturally into the role of well-meaning friend. But she wasn’t his friend any longer, she reminded herself, or an abandoned child. She was his daughter. And she knew Louie loved her. For the first time since learning his secrets, she let herself test the feeling. Standing there watching his house, she let herself explore the possibilities of that most natural of relationships. It felt right, she admitted with a deep sigh. Just as she’d taken the risk of loving Ryan with rich reward, she would have to let go of her bitterness by forgiving Louie.

  Turning, she went back into the house and hesitated only a heartbeat before going to her office. She was articulate and even eloquent when writing her thoughts on her computer, but what she had to write now—tonight—was best done with a pen in her own hand. She opened a storage closet, reached high on a shelf and took down a stationery box. Clearly old, it had not been used since she’d closed her mind and heart on the memory of her father years ago.

  Sitting at her desk, she clicked her pen and began writing.

  Dear Daddy:

  How familiar that sounds, even after all these years. Funny, but back then when I had something on my mind or in my heart, it felt so natural and right to pour it all out in a letter to you and I guess that’s what I’m doing tonight. So, where to begin?

  I wish that I had behaved more gracefully when I learned who you really were. I wish I had been able to throw my arms around you and tell you that keeping your secrets didn’t matter. I wish you hadn’t had to leave. I wish I had known you were reading my letters. I wish I had had one—just one—in reply. But if all those wishes had been granted, we wouldn’t be where we are today, would we? And so, I’m glad that we now have a second chance and can try to build on the affectionate relationship that has been growing in the five years since we’ve been neighbors.

  I don’t know if I would have been able to get beyond all this at another time, but I have so much in my life to be thankful for now. After denying myself all the things I wanted most, fate literally pushed me into a situation I never anticipated. My life was safe and orderly until Gina and Jesse came. It’s painful to me to know that Jesse is now mine, but at what price? I loved Gina as a sister and a friend and I always will. I will cherish her memory—and her daughter. Then, next thing I knew, there was Ryan and Jennifer, and then Lindsay and then Megan and then you. Suddenly my world wasn’t so safe or so orderly. There was chaos and excitement and energy and ups and downs and…there was love. It was Ryan who urged me to forgive the past and start a real life, one with ups and downs and chaos, yes, but with all the goodness that comes with family, too. He snuck his way past my defenses before I could see it coming—and so did my sisters and you.

  I will try to be the best mother to Gina’s little girl that I can possibly be. And while I work on that, maybe you and I can get beyond the past to enjoy a loving future. I love you, Daddy.

  Thirty

  Standing at the door to her patio, Elizabeth watched Jesse and Jennifer regaling the group outside with the details of their adventure. If there was to be any lingering trauma from their harrowing escape, it wasn’t yet evident. It was she and Ryan who were feeling the aftershocks of what could have been a double tragedy. Austin’s desperation—and his deteriorating mental state—might well have brought about a far different outcome. She sensed Ryan moving up behind her and leaned against him when he slipped his arms around her waist.

  “Counting your blessings?” he asked, following her gaze. Steele stood with Lindsay at the barbecue. Megan and Louie were sitting at the picnic table. Rick Sanchez, who’d rushed over when he heard the girls were rescued, sat beside Jennifer.

  She looked up at him. “Yes, aren’t you?”

  The look on his face answered that. The terror of the long night was slowly receding, but neither would ever forget how it felt fearing the girls had drowned. “You must be so proud of Jennifer,” she said.

  “Yeah. And Jesse’s pretty spunky, too.” He watched his daughter help Jesse fill her plate from the food on the table, then both walked with Rick to the gazebo. “I want Diane to know how Jen behaved in this situation. Maybe it will help smooth over some of their problems.”

  She gave him a quick glance. “You’re not sending her back to her mother?”

  “Not a chance. We’ve talked. She’s here with me as long as she wants to stay. I think she knows now both her mom and I love her, even though we don’t love each other.”

  Elizabeth looked out at the gazebo. It was sweet of Jennifer to indulge Jesse when she must have wished to have Rick to herself. “I don’t think you’ll have any problem keeping Jennifer in Houston,” she said dryly.

  He saw where she was looking and grinned. “So, you think it’s Rick and not me keeping her here.”

  She shrugged. “Two great guys. What female would complain?”

  He shifted so he could look at her face. “You think I’m a great guy?”

  Her lips curved. “Are you fishing for a compliment, Mr. Paxton?”

  “No, I’m asking straight out for one.”

  She laughed openly at that. “Yes, you’re a great guy.”

  “How great?”

  She pretended to be exasperated. “Like on a scale of one to ten?”

  “No, like am I great enough that you’d consider a proposition I’ve got in mind?”

  Her heart made a little skip-beat. “What kind of proposition?”

  “The most meaningful kind—marriage.”

  She felt genuine shock and pressed a hand to her cheek. “Wow, this is…I mean, I didn’t think—”

  “You didn’t think I’d want to marry the woman I love?”

  Of course, he would. And springing his proposal right now was so typical while no less than six pairs of eyes were on them. As she tried to gather her wits, Lindsay called her name. She motioned to them from the patio, waving her arms. “Come out here, you two. Steele’s getting ready to put the chicken on the grill.”

  “In a minute!” Ryan said and caught her before she could open the door. “There’s only one reason you went to bed with me last night, Liz. And it’s not that you got carried away. Or that you needed escape. A woman like you makes love because you feel love. I just need to hear you say it. Isn’t it time to put aside all your bad baggage? You’ve got Jesse now. That’s a battle won, a done deal. But do you want to be just another single mom? You did the right thing with your baby boy, but you’re facing the same thing again.” He held her by her waist, her hands on his forearms. “Marry me and we’ll be a real family, you, me, Jess and Jen.”

  When he slowed to take a breath
, she was smiling gently. “If I could get a word in, please…or is this a filibuster?”

  “I’m not joking, Liz. I’m—”

  She lifted a hand to his cheek and smoothed away his tension. “I won’t marry you just to create a traditional home for Jesse, Ryan. That—”

  “It wouldn’t be—”

  Her hand on his face tightened in a little shake. “Will you let me finish just one sentence?” His response sounded very like a growl, but he subsided. “I’m not silly enough—even with my baggage as you call it—to get married for Jesse’s sake. But yes, I’ll marry you,” she said, rushing on because his mouth was open to argue more. “I’ll marry you for the best reason of all. Not that it’ll surprise you,” she said dryly, “since you practically put the words in my mouth. I do love you, Ryan. How could I not?”

  He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers for a sweet, but brief moment. “Okay. Okay.” After a quick, hot kiss, he reached around her and pushed the door open. As she stepped outside, he said in her ear, “And it’s gonna be soon, ’cause it’s too damn difficult to get you alone around here.”

  Elizabeth was worried she must appear painfully pink in the face to the group on the patio, but they were more interested in discussing Austin than her love life.

  “What will happen to him?” Lindsay asked, setting a platter of grilled chicken and corn on the cob on the patio table.

  “Austin?” Steele helped himself to a juicy drumstick. “His arrest warrant will have a long list of charges. Not only did he violate the restraining order, but he added kidnapping to the crime. Even if his lawyer tries to argue that Jesse is his natural child, Jennifer certainly isn’t.”

  “Don’t forget he caused Gina’s accident,” Elizabeth said, pouring a glass of iced tea. “Now that she’s talking, Jesse is telling more and more details about that night. She says he bumped their car from behind. That’s what made Gina lose control of her car.”

  Steele wiped barbecue sauce off his fingers with a paper napkin. “There may be some difficulty there. Jesse’s only five years old. All of us believe her version of the accident, but it’s hard to convict a man on the testimony of a five-year-old.”