by Jennifer Ann
“Fucking peachy.” I turn away from him to gather my clothes, fighting against the urge to slam him to the floor.
“If you weren’t okay with what just happened, you should’ve said something. I would’ve stopped them in a heartbeat. It’s just, Cheyenne said—”
“What the fuck did that bitch say?” I challenge, racing up to him.
Eyes narrowed, he shakes his head slowly, as if confused. “She said the guys at the club were sayin’ how you like bein’ with more than one guy at once.”
Instant heat rises to my face as my hands ball into fists at my sides. Ranger and Colt have been blabbing about sharing me to the other guys at the MC? Does this mean they’ve been playing me all along?
Logan runs his hands through his hair. “Shit, Harley. I’m fuckin’ sorry. I should’ve asked. I didn’t—”
“No, she was right,” I say, reaching up to grab whatever I can of his damp hair at the nape of his neck. “I do like it. I’m just out of sorts tonight.” I crush my mouth down over his, licking the salty taste of sweat from his lips before plunging my tongue inside his mouth. His lips and mouth answer eagerly as his arms enclose around my waist, and his hard length presses against me once again.
I break the kiss, breathing heavily. “I’m in the mood to have some real fun. What would it take for you to blow off work tonight?”
21
Two hours and several shots of whiskey later, Logan parks his decade-old Charger in the club parking lot among twin rows of member bikes and a handful of cars. Though it’s late, the dull thud of music from inside the building drifts in through the car’s open windows, along with a warm breeze. When I stare into the dimly lit windows where shadows of the people stirring inside become visible, anger burns through my veins. Cheyenne is probably inside, fucking celebrating my downfall.
Filled with a warm buzz from the booze, I struggle with all the feelings warring just below the surface, messing with my head. This place was once my sanctuary. Now between my brother and Colt calling it home, I’d almost feel more comfortable in the prison where I can count on things to be just as they appear.
I’m ready to prove I’m not as delicate as everyone thinks. I’m not about to let anyone fuck me over and laugh about it. We’ll see who has the last laugh.
Though Logan didn’t pound quite as many drinks as I did in the packed bar down the street from the strip club, his eyes are glossy when he kills the engine and turns to me. “This is a bad idea. When you said you wanted to have fun, I figured we were goin’ back to your place.”
“Try to keep up, big guy. I’m homeless.” I pat his cheek before reaching for the door handle. “Don’t sweat it. This is just a pit-stop. We won’t be here long.”
With a humorless laugh, he says, “I don’t think you understand how much those guys inside hate my fucking guts.”
I look back at him, smirking. “Aw, don’t worry, baby. I’ll protect you.”
Eyes rolling to the roof of the car, he adds, “My sister’s here.”
“You afraid of her?”
Shrugging, his lips bend with a similar smirk. “She won’t like seeing us together.”
“She’ll get over it.” Rising to my knees, I lean over the shifter to kiss him soft and slow. Urgent hands wrap around me, dragging me into his lap. I stick my fingers in his hair and make a show of sucking on his bottom lip before pulling away. “Trust me, I’ll make this worth your while.”
We pile out of the car together, hands held. By the time we reach the clubhouse door, I’ve tucked myself under his arm. I stop to kiss him again. “Deep breaths, big guy.”
Inside, the music roars full blast as members, their old ladies, and a few old lady wannabes converse in various clusters. Though they’re not in full-on party mode, possibly as Colt may still be in the hospital, they’re still drinking and talking loudly. I even hear a scattered laugh or two. My brother stands among them with Genna draped over him like she’s desperate to win his affection, but failing miserably.
I scan the crowd for Cheyenne, ready to throw her down, but she’s nowhere in sight. Of course it’s Kandi who’s the first to discover us joining the party. I was prepared for her to be angry with the sight of me wrapped about her brother, but her face is a mask of pure rage as she charges at us like a bull. She grabs a handful of my hair by the roots, flinging me down to the floor. The aggression takes me by surprise and I cry out in pain as I land on my hip. It’s a mistake I won’t make again.
“What the fuck?” Logan roars, belatedly helping me off the floor. “You’re outta your fuckin’ mind, Kandi!”
Getting back on my feet, I launch myself at the leather clad vixen. My open hand connects with the side of her petite face, and she spirals down to the floor. Laughing with a dark sound, she hops back onto her feet and comes at me. “You may have done time, but I had to learn how to protect myself on the streets. You’re goin’ down, bitch.”
We slam into each other, becoming a blur of fisted hair and thrusting knees. I take one in the stomach, slowing me as I try to catch my breath. Kandi takes advantage of my weakened state and shoves me down, but I still have a hold of her hair, and take her down with me. There’s an uproar around us as some club members try to intervene and others stop them.
“Let ‘em at it!” a man yells above the ruckus as Kandi and I struggle, rolling around on the floor among cheers of encouragement.
“Stupid bitch!” Kandi screams, her spittle peppering my face. “Colt loves you, and you’re too fucking stubborn to accept it!”
“You don’t know shit!” I scream back at her.
“I know you’re acting like a fucking fool!”
The minute I have the upper hand, arm raised to hit her again, solid arms twin around my wait and lift me into the air. “Knock it the fuck off!” Ranger barks, hauling me away.
“Let me down!” I roar, kicking and flailing my arms. “I’m gonna kick her ass!”
“Better think real hard about what you’re doing, little girl!” Kandi taunts, scrambling to her feet. “Guys like Colt only come along once in a lifetime, and you’re fucking it up!”
“You’re fucking delusional!” I yell, thrashing inside Ranger’s arms. “These guys aren’t loyal to anyone! Your old man’s probably fucking every club whore that comes through here! And so are you!”
“Say that again to my face!” Kandi challenges, bursting forward with her arms extended at her sides. Logan catches her, and pins her arms behind her back, but it doesn’t stop her from trying to still come at me. “Let ‘er down, Ranger! I need to teach the little shit a lesson on respect!”
“I know more about respect than your sorry ass could ever comprehend!” I return.
“Enough!” a leathery voice hollers. The crowd moves back as Remmy steps in between us, gray eyes narrowed. “Whatever this shit’s about, it stops now.” The sharp lines of his face deepen with a dark scowl. “Ranger, take her in the other room to cool off. Kandi, you and me need to have ourselves a word.”
Ranger doesn’t even flinch from my continued assault as he hauls me over his shoulder to carry me through the crowd toward the back of the club, and into the spare bedroom.
Tossing me on the bed, he towers over me with his arms crossed. “You’re outta fuckin’ control! Get your shit together, Harley! Colt’s wondering why the fuck you weren’t there for him today, and half this place was in an uproar when you went missin’! What’s goin’ through that thick head of yours? Where’d you go? You should’ve at least answered your goddamn phone!”
Ignoring his interrogation, I sit to straighten my hair and shirt, sneering. “Did you bring me in here so the other club members could have a turn?”
His scowl morphs into confusion. “What?”
“That’s why you brought me into the bedroom, isn’t it? So you could organize a gang bang with Jawa’s fucked up little girl?” When he looks even more confounded, I shake my head and laugh. “Don’t play stupid. Word got out that you were bragging about sha
ring me with Colt.”
“I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about!” he insists, shaking his head. After blowing out a long breath, he bends to brace his hand on the back of my neck. “I haven’t told a single soul, and neither would Colt. Whoever told you that is full of shit.”
“Liar,” I snap. From the sincere look flashing through his eyes, however, I’d like to think he’s telling me the truth. But how else would Cheyenne know about it?
Ranger continues to shake his head, glaring. “Don’t know where this is comin’ from, but you’re drunk. Sleep it off, and we’ll talk in the mornin’ when you’re making more sense.” He gently presses his lips to my forehead before backing away.
“I saw Colt kissing Cheyenne,” I blurt, my stomaching cramping with the admission. Why is it the minute I’m around Ranger I feel a need to become all feely and girly?
“No fuckin’ way,” he answers, whirling around. “Colt wouldn’t…she’s with Thunder, and he’s only got eyes for you.”
“Last I was told, I have better than twenty/twenty vision, and I know what I saw when I went to his room after the surgery. So either the prison eye doctor is an idiot, or you're wrong. And it wasn’t a ‘hey it’s good to see you’re okay’ kind of kiss. There was tongue, and he fuckin’ liked it.”
“Fuck,” Ranger growls, locking his hands beneath the usual bun secured to the back of his head. His eyes dance between me and a random spot on the wall. “Must be some kind of an explanation. When I talked to him late this afternoon, he was goin’ off about how he was going to check himself out to find you. He was worried sick, Harley. It was a shitty thing to take off without tellin’ him or anyone where you were goin’.”
“I wasn’t gonna stick around and listen to him justify tongue fucking someone else,” I growl. Falling onto my back, I cover my hands over my face. “What the fuck am I doing? Why did I think I had to come back to this place? I should’ve known it would lead to a fucked up mess! Nothing with the club is ever simple. I have to get the fuck out of here!”
Ranger returns to my side, sitting on the bed.“Baby, listen to me. You’re here because it’s where you’re meant to be. Jawa helped get this place going. The club was his life, and the only thing that kept him going while you were away. You know as well as I do that this is your family. It makes perfect sense that you’d fall in love with a member.” A warm hand rests on my belly. “Colt’s a good man…I think your father would’ve been pleased with your choice. He would’ve been proud of you for how far you’ve come.”
“Just proves you don’t know me,” I whisper, though I feel as if I’m lying through my teeth.
Massive arms collect me as his head presses against mine. “You’ve put a wall up between you and the rest of the world. Kind of hard for anyone to know you, babe.”
“I don’t know how to act in the real world,” I admit with a shaky breath, letting his warmth and enticing scent surround me like a warm blanket. “I never know what the hell I’m doing, or why I’m doing it.”
A deep chuckle rumbles against Ranger’s throat. “Pretty sure no one does. But we put ourselves out there, and do the best we can.” His soft lips press to my temple. “Stop fuckin’ thinkin’ about leavin’ the club. We’re your family and you need us. You can’t do this alone and I won’t let you. Pretty sure Kandi won’t at this point either. What just happened was her way of lettin’ you know she cares.”
“I’d hate to see how she treats her enemies.”
“Yeah, you would,” he agrees with a dark laugh. “Last one ended up in the hospital with a broken jaw. She’s definitely someone you want in your corner.”
I finger the snap on the collar of his coat, sighing deeply. “I keep fucking up, Ranger. I want to stop. I want…Jesus, I don’t even know what I want except to be normal and I know that’s not an option. Not in this place.”
“We have our own kind of normal here,” he reminds me. “And it’ll start once you learn to trust again. You have to trust that me an’ Kandi are lookin’ out for you. And Colt.” Drawing back, his brown eyes search mine. “What were you thinkin’ comin’ in here with that dirtbag brother of hers? It would’ve torn Colt apart had he been here tonight.”
I start to argue that Logan isn’t a dirtbag until I really stop to think how having his buddies join us earlier was a dick thing to do without at least checking to see if I was okay with it rather than believing Cheyenne.
I glance down at Ranger’s beautiful lips. “I was pissed at Colt. I wanted to hurt him.”
“I get it…to a point. First thing tomorrow I’m takin’ you back to the hospital so the two of you can duke it out. Tonight you’re stayin’ with me, here in this room. I’ll make sure you don’t ‘fuck things up’ anymore than you already have.”
Like that would be possible. If only he knew just how much fucking I've done since I've seen Colt—giving the club whores some serious competition. I'm the queen of fuck ups right now.
Warm lips brush over mine with reserve, as if he’s merely trying to quiet the swell of anxiety crippling me. The fight’s left me as I curl into the safety of his thick arms and fall into a blissful sleep. Maybe I need to stop running and let the MC—my family—take care of me.
22
After I’m reunited with the shower in Colt’s apartment, and have changed into a fresh set of clothes for the first time in two days, Ranger takes me back to the hospital. For only the second time since we met, he’s not wearing his leather with the club patch. In a plain black t-shirt and tight black jeans, he’s as striking as ever, almost easily mistaken for a hipster with damp hair inside a bun, and small spacers in his ears. More than one female head turns his way as we walk to Colt’s room, reminding me how fortunate I am to have been with the handsome stud. Looking into his gentle brown eyes, I feel unbelievably privileged that we’ve been intimate. The man kisses like a rock star and has a heart of solid gold.
“I’ll wait out here,” he tells me, stopping outside the door. Bending down, his tender lips brush across my temple as his manly scent wraps around me. “You can do this.”
I close my eyes and inhale sharply before taking a step inside the room. The sight of Colt literally steals my breath away. Eyes closed, subtle lips slightly parted, he appears peaceful and as handsome as ever while sleeping soundly despite the bandages, tubes, and deep abrasions to his beautiful face. Machines blink and beep as they monitor his vitals, a stark reminder of how lucky I am to be standing here instead of claiming his body down at the morgue. The thought sends a chill down my spine, and all at once my legs become wobbly. I reach out to steady myself on the door frame.
What the fuck am I doing? It’s become the prominent question of the week, the mantra of my newly acquired freedom. But Kandi was right. Guys like Colt aren’t easy to find, and I’m tossing the chance to be with him away like a piece of worthless garbage. He basically admitted he loved me, then I fucked another man a few hours later. Twice.
For a crippling moment, I see with clarity just how damaged I’ve become. Colt deserves better than what little I can offer. He served this country then joined the MC not because it was family, but because he believed in glory and honor. Things I’m not capable of.
When I spin around and push on the door, I’m met with Ranger standing in the way, arms crossed of his chest, brown eyes threatening to kick my ass if I challenge him.
Sighing, I let the door swing shut again, and turn back to Colt. He stirs in the hospital bed, then his blue eyes find mine, drinking me in. “Harley,” he breathes in relief. Then his eyebrows lower and his upper lip curls. “Where’ve you been?”
“Had some things to sort through,” I answer, tentatively moving toward the bed. The urge to crawl in beside him and fling my arms around his hard, muscular body takes me by surprise. “Heard the bullet didn’t do any damage. How’re you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been shot and dragged across a highway,” he says in a gravely tone. Clearing his throat, he shakes his head. “
Not to mention, worried as fuck ‘bout you. If Ranger hadn’t told me he was keepin’ an eye on you last night, I would’ve gone lookin’ for you m’self.” His beautiful eyes narrow. “You can’t go pullin’ that kind of shit when your brother’s got it out for ya, darlin’. Do you have any idea how fuckin’ out of my mind it made me when you wouldn’t answer your phone?”
“I came to visit you, but you were busy,” I inform him. “Had your tongue jammed down Cheyenne’s throat.”
“Jesus,” he curses, tucking strands of his wild hair—lacking in its usual healthy sheen—behind both ears. “Your timin’ couldn’t have been any shittier. That was fucked-up. She caught me at a vulnerable moment.”
“That’s your excuse?” I huff. “That’s fucking rich.”
“I was comin’ outta anesthesia,” he snarls. “I couldn’t tell you what was goin’ through my head when she came to see me. All I know is it felt good to be kissed. I kicked her out when I knew somethin’ wasn’t right. When the doc came by later, she said it’s common to be a little confused.”
“You didn’t look confused to me.”
“What do you want me to say, Harley?” he yells, lifting his arms from the bed. “It happened! It’s not like I fucked her!” Hard blue eyes burn a whole right through me. “I’ll leave those kind of indiscretions to you.” Oh shit. I guess he knows about Logan.
“We never said we’re exclusive,” I prod, crossing my arms and trying to look tough despite being mortified to hear Cheyenne really did tell him the truth about me and Logan. It’s hard to hold my head high without letting shame weigh it down. “Even though I told you I wasn’t ready for anything, you kept pushing it. I’ve been out for a week, Colt. What’d you think would happen?”
“Guess I had too much faith that you felt what we have was worth goin’ after,” he answers, jaw flexing and nostrils flaring. “I don’t know what to say short of beggin’ you to be my old lady, and you’ve made it clear you don’t want this the way I do, so that’d only be a waste of my breath.”