What Dreams May Lie

by Alana Terry

  “All you need to know is I’ll be back at Seattle by the end of the week. Sorry, but you’ll have to find someone else to help you in the gift shop.”

  “I just wish you’d let me know what ...”

  “I said I don’t want to talk about it.” Jillian clenched her jaw shut, focusing on that instead of the tightness in her throat. Why couldn’t people in this stupid town learn to mind their own business? Why couldn’t they take no for an answer, and why did they have to keep on pushing and pushing and pushing?

  When did no stop meaning no, and how could Jillian convince everyone around her, especially her aunt, that there was no way to force someone into talking about things they didn’t want to talk about? Repeating yourself multiple times or sugaring the questions with that sickeningly sweet tone just made things worse.

  “Well,” Connie finally sighed, “I think at the very least you owe Ricky Fields an apology.” She held her hand up and continued before Jillian could protest. “I’m not saying you have to go out with him. That’s up to you, but I’d be willing to guess you’re the very first girl he’s ever gotten the nerve up to ask out on a proper date, and he did it without wetting his pants or knocking over every single chair in that doctor’s office, and he at least deserves some decency and respect when he gets turned down. And I know it’s none of my business, but like I already said, he’s the kind of man any girl should be proud to call her beau.”

  “Will you please stop using that word?” Jillian snapped. “No matter how hard you people here in this backwards town don’t want to admit it, we’re all the way in the twenty-first century now. A girl doesn’t have to go out with the guy just because he’s got a good reputation or asks nicely. And she certainly doesn’t have to put out just because someone buys her an expensive meal.”

  Connie gasped. “What on earth are you talking about now?”

  Jillian crossed her arms. “Never mind. I just want to get home and get my bags packed and figure out how I’m going to get back to Seattle.”

  “Does this have anything to do with what the doctor told ...”

  “I said it’s none of your business.” Jillian glowered out the window muttering, “When will you people learn to leave others alone?”

  CHAPTER 35

  IT WAS NEARLY DINNERTIME before anyone dared venturing up the attic staircase to knock on Jillian’s door. At least her relatives had shown the decency to give her some space. She would offer up some sort of apology at dinner, Connie would forgive her and wrap her up in a hug, and it would be just like the ending of some cheesy family sitcom from the 90s.

  At least she had a way back to Seattle. Sunday morning, one of her friends from college would be visiting his mom. He could stop by Orchard Grove on his way back to Seattle and take Jillian home.

  About stinking time.

  Another knock. At least back at her own house she had a lock on her door. Not that she planned to stay at her parents’ for much longer. If the failed experiment of this past week in Orchard Grove had taught her anything, it was that she needed to be out on her own, or at least living with people her age. She’d already dropped out of spring semester thanks to her parents’ ingenious plan of hiding her away like a nun in a convent, but she could spend the summer working and save up enough so that by fall she could afford one of the apartments off campus. Anything to get away from her prying family.

  “Can I come in?”

  Jillian was surprised to see Grandma Lucy. Until now, she hadn’t even known her grandmother could still maneuver up the steep and narrow staircase.

  “Sure.”

  Grandma Lucy crossed her arms and scowled. “And what do you think you’re doing, locking yourself up here all day and throwing a pity party for yourself? Is that any way for a king’s daughter to behave?”

  So maybe this wouldn’t turn into a hug fest like on a sappy sitcom after all.

  “I know, Grandma. I wasn’t really thinking ...”

  “I’m not finished,” Grandma Lucy stated tersely. “Your Aunt Connie has spent this past week going dozens of extra miles for you. She’s taught you how to milk and trained you to work in her store so you had some source of income, and she’s taken you to the doctor to make sure you’re healthy, and she stayed up hours later than normal last night worrying about you when you didn’t even have the decency to say you were going to be out late. And maybe you think that just because Connie is a righteous, God-fearing woman that you can take advantage of her like that, but the last I checked, this house is still listed under my name, which means if you’re staying here, you’re doing things by my rules. Whether you like it or not, you’re part of our family, and that means that when you’re hurting or angry or upset about something, you talk with us about it so we can pray with you and encourage you. You don’t sit up here and pout like a spoiled little baby. Do you understand me?”

  Jillian blinked and nodded. She had never seen Grandma Lucy like this and wouldn’t even have guessed that it was possible for her to be anything but a sweet, little, soft-spoken old lady with shock white hair and spectacles who sat around in her rocker all day praying to an invisible God.

  “Well then, if you don’t want to tell your aunt Connie what’s troubling you, you’re going to have to tell me.”

  “I’m really not ready, Grandma.” Jillian wasn’t trying to be sassy anymore. In fact, all her energy was spent on trying to keep her tears from betraying her.

  “Then you better make yourself ready, little missy, because no granddaughter of mine gets to waltz in here and live rent free and hurt her aunt’s feelings and then expect to come downstairs as if nothing at all happened. Bottom line is you tell me why you’re acting like this, or you don’t eat any dinner.”

  “You can’t do that.”

  “Whose house did I just say this is? You may be an adult now, but you’re living here as a guest under my roof, and no guest or granddaughter of mine is going to ...”

  “Fine.” Jillian interrupted before Grandma Lucy had the chance to jump into yet another lecture. Who would have thought a woman that age could have so much attitude packed into her little four-foot-ten frame?

  Grandma Lucy knitted her eyebrows together. “So you’re ready to finally talk?”

  Jillian sighed heavily. No, she wasn’t ready, but it wasn’t as if her grandmother was giving her any other choice.

  Grandma Lucy sat down on the side of the bed and crossed her legs beneath her. Another surprise. Jillian wondered if she would be that agile when she was so old.

  Her grandmother stared at her pointedly. “Well, I’m listening.”

  CHAPTER 36

  WHOEVER SAID THAT CONFESSION was good for the soul was either a lying idiot or had never been in a situation like Jillian’s. After telling Grandma Lucy about her doctor’s visit, she waited expectantly for something to happen. A hug — cheesy as it would be — a word of encouragement, even another lecture.

  Instead, silence.

  Grandma Lucy just sat there with her feet crossed and eyes closed. For a second Jillian was worried that she’d had a heart attack and died sitting up.

  “Grandma?” she asked faintly.

  “Father God,” Grandma Lucy croaked.

  Great. More prayers. Part of her wished that Grandma Lucy would stop wasting her time. If prayer alone really could help, didn’t she think that it would have worked by now?

  “You see how much my granddaughter is suffering, and you know the sorrow and the confusion that are raging war against her soul. You alone know the powers of darkness that are threatening to consume her in bitterness and anger and self-pity. I declare, Father God, in the holy and mighty name of Jesus Christ whose blood takes away the sins of the world, who defeated death, hell, and the grave, that Jillian is not a slave to fear. She is not a slave to bitterness. She is not a slave to anger. All the hurts, all the wrongs that have been done to her, you will avenge them, Lord. You are a just and mighty God, and you repay wickedness, and we rejoice that we have you on o
ur side as a faithful and almighty warrior. We rejoice that one day you will destroy all wickedness with just one word from your mouth. Hallelujah.

  “I don’t pretend to know everything that my granddaughter has gone through or what she must be feeling right now, Lord, but that’s just fine because you are the one who knit her together in her mother’s womb. You are the one who is intimately familiar with all her ways. You are the one who sent your Son to redeem her from the curse of sin and to offer her true and abundant life through Jesus Christ, our precious and merciful Savior.

  “You’ve seen her while she wanders, Lord, and just like the good Shepherd that you are, you are calling her back into your fold once again. And now, God, I pray that all the hurt that she’s experienced at the hands of your children would be healed by the power of the blood of Jesus Christ. I declare that anger and bitterness have no root in my granddaughter’s heart, but all the pain she’s been holding onto for so long is released and washed away in the name of Jesus Christ, and all the mistakes and sins of her past are thrown into the sea of forgetfulness and removed from her as far as the east is from the west, just as your good Word declares.

  “I speak new life over my granddaughter today, joyful life, abundant life. May she be satisfied in you and in you only. May she know the deep and abiding love you have to offer her, and may she never doubt that all your plans for her are good.”

  Jillian blinked back her tears. Ever since she’d been a little girl, she had heard her grandmother pray like this, but tonight something stirred in her spirit like it never had before. If Grandma Lucy experienced even a fraction of this spiritual intensity, this heavenly power when she prayed, it was no wonder she spent so many hours a day crying out to God.

  Jillian had never been all that overly affectionate, but she reached out to take her grandmother’s hand in hers, trying to find words that might convey how special that moment had been for her, how encouraged she was to know that she had someone in her life who would pray for her with that sort of intensity and fervor.

  She gave her grandmother’s hand a squeeze and whispered, “Thanks.”

  Grandma Lucy didn’t answer.

  “Grandma?” Her voice was quiet and trembling. She could hear the fear in it. “Grandma?” she asked again, louder this time.

  Grandma Lucy’s eyes fluttered open. She made a face that looked like she was gasping, but no breath came in.

  “Are you all right?” Jillian asked. “Grandma Lucy?”

  She jumped up from her bed, threw the door open, and hollered down the stairs. “Aunt Connie! Aunt Connie! Come quick. Hurry. Something’s wrong with Grandma.”

  CHAPTER 37

  “DID YOU HEAR ABOUT Grandma Lucy?” Ricky burst through the doorway and into the kitchen where Mom was fixing dinner.

  “Of course I did. Who do you think has been updating the prayer chain? I’ve had so many phone calls I nearly burned the biscuits.”

  “Forget the biscuits. Isn’t there something we can do?”

  “Do? Did you all of a sudden get a medical degree without telling me? Do you know how to cure a woman’s failing heart?”

  “It’s her heart?” Ricky asked. “I didn’t know. I just heard that she was at the hospital again. Dad said there was an ambulance in front of Safe Anchorage, and he saw them carrying her out on a stretcher. What is it? Is it serious?”

  His mother sighed. “The way I see it, that woman’s past her time if you ask me.” She shrugged and focused on chopping her onions. “Far as I can tell, if the doctors can’t help her, there’s nothing to be done.”

  “What about Jillian?” Ricky blurted without thinking.

  Mom’s expression turned icy. “What does that girl have to do with any of this?”

  “It’s her grandmother.”

  Mom pulled out a sharp knife and examined it. “Grandmothers die every day.”

  Ricky reached for the keys he had dropped onto the counter, dragging his sleeve through a bowl of salsa his mom had left out. “I better go see her.”

  “They’re taking her straight to the ER. They’re not going to let you just waltz in for a visit.”

  “Not Grandma Lucy,” Ricky explained as he rammed into a dining room chair in his haste to get out the doorway. “Jillian. Be back later.”

  Mom called out after him, but he didn’t slow down. He was probably Jillian’s only friend right now in Orchard Grove. He wasn’t going to let her go through a struggle like this alone.

  “Hold it right there,” Mom shouted again.

  Ricky stopped with his hand on the doorknob.

  Mom came around the corner, wiping her hands on her apron. “There’s something you need to know before you go chasing after that McAllister girl.”

  Ricky sighed with annoyance. “She has a name, you know.”

  Mom shrugged. “Name or no name, that’s still no excuse for someone in her situation to be pregnant.”

  CHAPTER 38

  PREGNANT? WAS HE HEARING things? Was his brain playing tricks on him?

  “What are you talking about?” He shoved his car keys into his pocket.

  “I said that girl was pregnant. Didn’t I warn you about getting involved with the likes of her?”

  “How do you know?” Ricky asked. “Did someone tell you?”

  “What else would a girl her age be doing at Dr. Morrison’s office? He’s the only one in town who delivers babies.” She crossed her arms against her chest. “So tell me why should she be going to see him if it weren’t about a pregnancy?”

  Ricky shook his head. “No, there’s got to be someone else, because Susannah went up today to the third floor, remember?”

  Mom huffed. “Susannah’s mother was one of those homeopathic nut jobs, and I’m sure Susannah and her husband were going up to see the midwife. Which doesn’t change the fact that Dr. Morrison is the only OB-GYN in town, and it was his nurse who called the McAllister girl back. I’m telling you, son, that girl is pregnant, and she’s trouble. So come in and eat your dinner and be a sensible child for once.”

  Jillian? Pregnant? He tested the thought, turned it around, mulled it over. Maybe it was true, but how did that change the fact that she was alone in a town full of people who hated her because of what her father had done? How did it change the fact that her grandmother was possibly dying of heart trouble or maybe already had, and Ricky was the only person in the entire town of Orchard Grove who might think to offer his support?

  It didn’t.

  He pulled his keys back out of his pocket.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Mom demanded.

  “I already told you. I’m going to check on Jillian. Don’t bother holding dinner for me either.”

  CHAPTER 39

  RICKY WASN’T SURE WHAT he had expected when he rushed out the door and sped to County Hospital. He probably pictured Jillian sitting there sobbing in the waiting room. She’d see him and throw her arms around him, and he’d hold her and let her cry until she started to feel better.

  But when he got to the emergency room, all the nurse could tell him was that Grandma Lucy had been recently admitted, but only family members were allowed to visit.

  “Is Jillian with her?” Ricky asked.

  “I really couldn’t say.”

  “Well, can I just go back and see?”

  The nurse shook her head.

  “Could you check for me?”

  The nurse’s phone rang, and she told Ricky to sit in a chair in the waiting room, which he did.

  Twenty minutes later, he was still sitting.

  What should he do? Had the nurse forgotten about him? Should he remind her that he was waiting to see if Jillian was back there?

  Then again, if Grandma Lucy was in such a serious condition, why would he expect Jillian to come out here when she hardly knew him instead of spending time by her grandmother’s bedside where she belonged?

  He certainly hadn’t thought this through.

  He glanced at the time. He’d wait
twenty more minutes, and if he hadn’t found her yet, he would just head home and face Mom.

  Was it really possible that Jillian was pregnant? Wouldn’t she have said something yesterday? Or maybe that wasn’t the sort of thing you talked about on a first date.

  Not like he would know.

  And if she were pregnant, well ... Ricky still had a lot to learn about the Christian life, but sleeping around was one of the major big deals.

  “Ricky? Is that you?”

  He jumped to his feet, and surprisingly nothing toppled over.

  “Connie,” he exclaimed. “I came by to hear how Grandma Lucy was doing. Is she okay?”

  Connie shook her head. “It’s another spell with her heart. The doctors have her on oxygen and monitors, and they say it could go either way.”

  He stared at his hands. What were you supposed to say to something like that?

  “How’s Jillian?” he finally asked. “I thought she might need someone to talk to.”

  “That’s sweet of you to suggest, hon, but she’s had a pretty hard day. I’m sure you understand.”

  “Oh.” He shuffled from one foot to the other. “Okay, well, maybe you can just tell her I stopped by.”

  “I would love to tell her that, except I can’t. She stayed back at the house, I’m afraid.”

  “She did? Maybe I should go check on her.”

  “I wish you would. I don’t know what it is that got her upset earlier, but she and Grandma Lucy had been chatting for nearly an hour before everything happened, and it upset her so much that when we tried to talk her into coming to the hospital with us, she refused.” Connie shook her head. “I wish I knew how to reach that girl.”

  “It’s all right,” Ricky told her. “I’ll go and see how she’s doing.”

  “I appreciate that, hon.” Connie gave him a smile. Ricky was certain she was about to smother him amply, so he stepped back as quickly as he could, tripping over the heel of his shoe but managing to right himself before he landed in one of the chairs.