Stolen Kisses with Her Boss

by Susan Carlisle

  “Mom, how’re you doing?”

  “We’re well. Lisa and Bill are too. Are you okay?” Her voice sounded concerned.

  “I’m fine.” He was heartbroken but he wouldn’t go into that now. That wasn’t what this call was about. Yet Cynthia had been behind him making it. “I was wondering if I could come visit sometime soon.”

  “You’re welcome any time.” Hope filled her voice.

  “Would this weekend be okay?” Sean would deserve it if they said no.

  “Sure, honey.”

  “Then I’ll see you Saturday afternoon. Around four,” Sean told her.

  His mother sounded sincere when she said, “Your daddy and I can hardly wait.”

  A few days later, Sean pulled into his parents’ drive. He hadn’t climbed out of his car before his mother and father were there to greet him. It reminded him of how eager he’d been to see Cynthia drive up at his house for the first time. Pure delight to see her had driven his actions. Did his parents feel the same way about seeing him?

  His mother hugged him so tightly she almost took his breath. His father patted him on the shoulder at the same time. When his mother released him, she had tears in her eyes. His father shook his hand and pulled him into a hug for a second.

  “Come in. Lisa and Bill are here with their kids,” his mother said as she herded them toward the house.

  He and his father followed more slowly. “It’s good to have you home, Sean. Your mother will be walking on air for weeks after this visit.”

  Guilt washed over Sean for staying away so long.

  Lisa and Bill were equally glad to see him. The family had a talkative dinner with memories and laughter shared. The only time it became uncomfortable was when his father mentioned a new internet deal he was working on. Sean cringed.

  “Let’s not talk business at the dinner table,” his mom quickly said.

  His father moved on to another subject.

  Some things never changed. The difference was that Sean was his own man now. He could live his life the way he wanted to.

  To his amazement his brother and sister and their partners had solid jobs. They had seemed to go along with their parents’ ideas when they had been younger. After dinner, he and Bill went to the den.

  “I’m glad you came. We don’t see enough of you,” Bill said as he took a chair opposite the TV.

  Sean took the other. “I should have done better, I know.”

  “Putting up with Mom and Dad always going after a great deal was hard on you. Not having enough money. Lisa and I were older and took it better, but you were embarrassed. You wanted to play sports and do things we didn’t care anything about. I’m not surprised you’ve stayed away.”

  Sean had had no idea Bill had noticed how he had felt. “I’ve done all right. It took me a while to realize that the way I was brought up might have motivated me.”

  Bill nodded. “I hear you have made a name for yourself in Birmingham.”

  “I’m proud of my work. It’s very satisfying to help people.” Sean only wished his personal life were the same. Was it too late to find happiness with Cynthia? Apparently, she didn’t want him. She hadn’t contacted him. He looked for an email every day. His phone remained nearby all the time. She hadn’t said anything about loving him. Maybe she didn’t.

  His father joined them, taking a seat on the couch. “You’ll stay with us tonight, won’t you, Sean?”

  Sean smiled. He and his parents would probably never agree but despite their differences they still loved him. He loved them too. “That sounds nice, Dad.”

  * * *

  Cynthia still saved Sean’s dictation tapes for last but now it was because it broke her heart to hear his voice when she couldn’t touch him or be loved by him. The days had turned into long and painful weeks. Still, she knew she had done the right thing. He deserved better. She couldn’t be what he needed right now. When she could be would he still want her?

  For so long she had dreamed of him. Built him up in her mind. He was almost too good to be true then, but now she knew him as a man with foibles and issues, which made her love him more. Sean was perfect for her. No one would ever replace him. He was the love of her life. But she couldn’t tell him that.

  She’d spent the first week they had been apart taking care of Rick. He’d been recovering so well he’d got aggravated with her. It was as if he were pushing her away so he could handle his own life. He had gone to his follow-up visit with Sean without her. She wasn’t sure she could have gone anyway but she was relieved when Rick had insisted he could do it himself.

  Mark seemed happier than ever now that he was working and no longer going to college. She still hoped he would return but for now learning the value of being a good employee might be worthwhile.

  His car had been declared dead so they were down to two cars. Instead of throwing a fit and demanding she make all the concessions, he and Rick had worked out sharing Rick’s car, only using hers when it was convenient with her. Mark had matured and she hadn’t even realized it.

  Why hadn’t she noticed how responsible her brothers had become? Had Sean been right? Was she refusing to admit that they didn’t need her as they once had? Maybe she needed them to need her more than they really did. Had she been hiding behind them so she wouldn’t have to move on with her life? Was she postponing her dreams out of fear? Had she pushed Sean away because of that as well?

  When Mark and Rick had asked what had happened between her and Sean she’d said, “We just didn’t work out.”

  They’d given her skeptical looks but said no more.

  The weeks had crawled by and still Sean filled her thoughts during the day and dreams at night. The tears were the worst. There was no telling when they would flow. She was miserable and didn’t know how to change her state. Her plan was to endure until the pain eased.

  Two months after she and Sean had broken up, she asked Rick during family dinner night, “When do you need to sign up for class?”

  “I don’t have to do that for a few more weeks,” Rick said, digging into his potatoes. “I’ve got this.”

  “I just don’t want you to miss that date.”

  Rick put down his fork. “I know what I need to do. You don’t have to tell me everything. I’m grown. I can take care of it. If I don’t that’s my problem.”

  “Uh, Rick and I’ve been talking,” Mark said. “We think it’s time for you to stop treating us like your children and start acting more like our sister. We don’t want to be told what to do all the time.”

  Could a stab in the heart hurt as much? She looked from one to the other. “Really? I didn’t know I was doing that. I thought I was helping you.”

  “You do. But it’s time to stop,” Rick volunteered quietly.

  “We’re tired of it. I’m working and Rick’s finishing high school in a few weeks and going to college. It’s time for you to stop worrying about us all the time.”

  What had brought this on? They’d always gone along with what she said until recently. “How long have you felt this way?”

  “A long time,” Mark said.

  Rick nodded.

  Mark gave her a direct look. “We wanted us to stay together after Mom and Dad died just as much as you. We wanted to make you happy. But we couldn’t move anything in the house. You wanted to keep on having family dinner night because Mom did it. All the calls at nine. At first it worked but it still wasn’t the same because they weren’t here. We think it’s time for all of us to have our own lives. Even you.”

  “We—” Mark nodded toward Rick “—appreciate all you have done for us. Giving up school and working all the time. And being there for us. We want to make our own decisions now. Find our own ways. You should too.”

  “I had no idea you felt this way.” Or had she just not been listen
ing?

  Rick said, “Now you do. Hey, we could be college students together. How cool would that be?”

  “I think that would be nice.” She smiled. It would be wonderful if she could go back to school. Get that nursing degree? “Okay, I’ll make a deal with you. If you help me more around here, then I’ll consider going back to school. You have to also promise to tell me when I’m being too bossy and I’ll promise to stop.”

  “I don’t know if I can agree to the first but I can sure tell you when you’re being too bossy,” Rick said.

  They all laughed.

  “What we really think you should do is use the money that Mom and Dad left us that we know you’ve been saving, to get a place of your own. If you stay here, you’ll always be thinking about us. Buy a condo or a house of your own. Rick and I can live here. Or we could be the ones to move out.”

  Cynthia’s heart tightened. They didn’t want her around any more?

  “I see that look on your face,” Mark said. “We’re not trying to get rid of you per se. We need some space and we think you do too. We can still get together for dinner once a week.”

  It sounded as if her brothers had already moved on. She was the one stuck in the past. Where had she heard that before? Sean had seen something she hadn’t been able to see.

  “Hey, Cyn,” Rick said. “You deserve to have some fun too.”

  It would be tough but she would do what was necessary to make them all happy. Her brothers seemed to have their lives together. It was time she did the same with her own. “I love you guys.” She opened her arms wide. “Group hug.”

  * * *

  A week later Cynthia slipped the last tape on her list into the machine. Her middle tightened at knowing what she would hear next. There was no way she could heal if she continued to listen to Sean’s deep voice regularly so she’d given her notice to his office manager. She could use the money, especially after she’d decided to return to school, but working for Sean wasn’t helping her to move on.

  But was she doing that? Their issues had stemmed from her inability to let go. Now she was trying to make that change. More than once Mark and Rick had given her a look when she’d said something and she’d been able to catch herself a few times before she did.

  She’d already made a step in that direction by enrolling in school. As happy as that would make her, something would always be missing. Sean. She wanted him back in her life in a bigger way than just listening to his voice. All of him was what she needed, wanted.

  He’d told her the door was open when or if she got ready to talk. She knew full well how to get in touch with him. But he’d not tried to approach her in all these weeks. He’d said he loved her. Had she hurt him so badly that he wanted nothing to do with her? He’d accepted her decision without even trying to contact her once. Maybe he had moved on to another woman. The thought made her sick. She’d found happiness but her blinding devotion to her brothers had lost her the man she loved.

  If she did contact Sean could he forgive her for being such an idiot?

  She could continue living as she had for the last couple of months, depressed and lonely, or she could try to do something about it. How could she lose? She would finish his dictation and then compose an email. Try to see if that door was still open.

  Pushing the button, she opened Sean’s dictation. “Hey, Cyn. I hope you’re well. I wanted to let you know I received the grant.”

  Her chest tightened. Moisture filled her eyes. It was the first time Sean had said anything personal during his dictation. It was so little yet so much. Cynthia pushed another button and ran the report back to listen again. Was there a hopeful note in his voice? Had this been his way of reminding her he still cared? She listened once again. Whatever the reason, she was seizing the opportunity and going for it. She was moving forward, grasping what she wanted.

  The transcription could wait. She had an email to write.

  Hi Sean

  I’m well. I’m glad to hear about the grant.

  I owe you an apology. Could we talk sometime?

  Cyn

  The one thing they’d always shared was honesty. If he’d changed his mind about her or found someone else then so be it, but at least she had made a step forward. There would be no regrets. This wasn’t a game. Her heart was at stake.

  Before she could change her mind, with a shaking hand she pushed send.

  * * *

  Sean turned on his computer for the first time after his last patient left. As he glanced at it one email stood out. For a second he just stared at it. He’d taken a chance, couldn’t help himself when he’d spoken to Cynthia directly in his dictation. Somehow he wanted her to know he was still there, caring about her. He wasn’t sure how she would react.

  What if she still didn’t want to have anything to do with him? They’d said some harsh words to each other that day in the hospital. She might still be mad and tell him to leave her alone. He’d read the note from his office manager that Cynthia was no longer going to work for him. Was she cutting all ties?

  There was no way for him to know until he opened her email. With fear gnawing at him like a wild animal, he clicked on her note. He quickly read it. Then read it again. There was nothing there to think what she might say would be any more than a business discussion between employee and employer. Yet that was at least something compared to no contact over the last few months.

  Sean checked the time. It was late to ask if he could meet her but he couldn’t wait. Excitement pushed the fear away. At least she was willing to see him. He wouldn’t let this chance pass him by.

  It’s great to hear from you, Cyn.

  I know it’s late, but would you like to meet me somewhere? A restaurant, maybe?

  Sean

  Seconds later an email dropped into his box.

  I would, but I don’t have a car tonight. I hate to inconvenience you, but could you come to my house?

  He quickly replied.

  I’ll be there in an hour.

  There was just enough time to stop by his place and one more. Finally he had hopes his life would be back to normal. That was, with Cynthia in it.

  * * *

  Cynthia nervously paced the porch watching for Sean’s car to come up the street. She had no idea what would happen between them. What she wished for was a whole other thing.

  Her eyes widened when a late-model luxury car pulled into the drive. Who else was coming to her house? She was shocked to see Sean step out of it. Her heart was in her throat. Would he forgive her?

  He looked at her expectantly, as if he was unsure of his reception. “Hi.”

  She did love his voice. In fact, she loved all of him. No one could look more wonderful. It was all she could do not to run to him. If she did would his arms open wide? She settled for a simple, “Hey.”

  Reaching back into the car, he brought out a spray of spring flowers and a box.

  Who was this person in front of her?

  Sean came up the walk. When he reached her he just stood there looking at her. She did the same. He pulled at everything in her. She wanted to touch him so badly she pushed her hands into the pockets of her knit dress to stop herself. “I, uh, like your new car.” That seemed like a safe place to start.

  “Thanks. I just got it the other day. I decided after I visited my parents that I needed to make some changes. Loosen up a little bit.”

  “You did?” She was so glad to hear he’d been to see them.

  “I did.”

  “So how’re your parents?” More than that, she wanted to know how he was doing after seeing them.

  He shrugged. “They’re the same. But, they’re my parents. I don’t have to like how they run their lives but I can still love them.”

  She nodded. “That’s true. Come on in, or we could sit ou
t here.” She pointed toward the porch swing.

  “I’m good out here if you don’t think you’ll be too cool?” He seemed hesitant to enter the house. What could he be afraid of? She was the one who’d messed up.

  “I’m okay.” Her body was so heated by having him close she felt she’d never get cold again. She took a seat on the swing. He didn’t join her.

  “These are for you.” He handed her the flowers and the box of candy. “They’re a thank-you for helping with the grant. You were the first person I wanted to tell.”

  She accepted the gifts. “Thank you. The flowers are beautiful and I love chocolate.”

  He shifted from one foot to the other. Was Sean nervous? “My office manager says they cover most ills.”

  Had he talked to his office manager about her? He was such a private person she couldn’t imagine what that conversation had been like. “They’re a good starter. I’m so glad you got the grant. You deserved it.”

  “I was happy.”

  “You should be.” They were talking but not really saying anything. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I appreciate you coming over. I owe you an apology for the way I acted when Rick was hurt. You were wonderful and I treated you horribly. More importantly you were right about me and how I was treating my brothers. They’re men and I have to let go. I’ve started to do so.

  “In fact, I’ve signed up for school. I’ll have to repeat a semester but if I pass my test I should enter nursing school in the fall.”

  “Now I’m the one proud of you.” Sean looked genuinely pleased.

  She had no doubt from his tone that he was. He had always encouraged and supported her. “I’m sorry I was so hard on you.”

  Sean sat down beside her, turned to her. “I wasn’t much better. I was so caught up in trying to not be like my parents I had gone completely in the opposite direction. They made me who I am. For that I should be grateful. I’m trying to lighten up some.”

  Cynthia looked at the gifts in her hands. He had certainly let go to buy something so frivolous. “So that’s where these—” she indicated the flowers and candy “—and the car come in?”