by Mya O'Malley
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“MAYBE IT TRULY ISN’T meant to be.”
Elle was trying to help, but her words only upset Morgan more. Elle had come over in a flash for Morgan when she had called her, sobbing into the phone. Now, Morgan wasn’t so sure that Elle being here was the best thing. Some time alone to think may have been a better call.
Elle had made it no secret that she was slowly coming to dislike Mike. Her friend had never voiced her feelings aloud, but judging from the decline in double dates that used to fill her calendar, Morgan knew.
“You don’t like him anymore, do you?” She sniffled, grabbing a tissue from the kitchen.
“It’s not that I don’t like him, honey. It’s just that I don’t think he’s being fair to you, asking you to hide your feelings all the time, making you feel guilty,” Elle stammered.
Perhaps she should feel guilty; maybe she had put this poor man through the ringer with all her nightmares and placing Declan on a pedestal. Surely enough time had gone by that she should be able to rein in her feelings better than this.
“Elle, don’t take this the wrong way, but I need you to leave, please.” There were some things that she must attend to.
Confusion was etched on Elle’s face. “But… I just got here.”
“I have to take care of something. I’m heading out. I’ll walk you to the door.” Morgan could feel the tension coming from her friend. After gathering her keys and bag, Morgan ushered her friend to the front door.
“What are you going to do? Are you going to break it off with Mike?” A spark of hope filled her gaze.
“I need to talk to him, and, no, I don’t plan on breaking it off.” A definitive line was set on her mouth. Yes, she would head over to the apartment that he shared with the guys and tell him to come back.
Elle steeled her, placing her hands on Morgan’s shoulders. “Morgan, are you serious? I mean, I think that you have every right to your feelings about Declan.”
Blowing out a fierce breath, Morgan’s patience was thinning. “Okay, yes, that may be true, but this has got to be very difficult for Mike.”
“Don’t you see? If he truly loved you he would understand and accept your feelings…”
Elle was crossing boundaries here, ones that she should be treading carefully.
“Elle, with all due respect, I am going to pretend that you never said that. Are you actually telling me that Mike doesn’t love me?” The pitch of her voice rose higher, a clear indication that her patience was waning.
Elle shook her head and quickly clamped her mouth shut. This time, neither said a word as they headed out to the driveway. Elle turned to face her friend before getting into her own car.
“Listen, I appreciate your concern, but could you please just let me handle this without judging Mike?”
“Fine, Morgan. If that’s what you want,” Elle replied as she opened the door to her car. Morgan waited for Elle to pull out of the driveway before heading out herself.
For the length of the car ride over to Mike’s place, Morgan’s mind was reeling with thoughts of Mike, Declan, and Elle. It was too much to sort out, but she knew that Mike was her first priority.
Upon approaching his driveway, Morgan practiced breathing calm, steady breaths. She would need to be relaxed for this conversation. Luckily Mike’s car was in the driveway, and it appeared that his roommates were not home. Steadying herself, Morgan stepped out of her car and walked to the front steps. Smoothing her top, she took one more breath and pressed the doorbell. Seconds passed before she heard the telltale footsteps signaling that Mike was coming to the door.
It appeared that he had been losing sleep; shadows played across his face. Her heart went out to him. Deciding that too many words would just muddy the waters, Morgan blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Hi, Mike.”
He stood, hands planted on his hips, his eyes giving nothing away. She leaned closer to him. At first he resisted, pulling back slightly, until she pressed her lips to his.
“Damn you, Morgan. Damn you,” he breathed in her ear, pulling her inside the door and leading her upstairs.
Six Months Later
The past months had been all about getting to know each other again, this time without the drama and disagreements. They went ahead with plans to marry in a way that would make Morgan happy; she could have her bridesmaids and reception. The big day was coming up, in a little over a week to be exact.
Her dress was a stunning bright white that set off her skin tone. The neckline enhanced her figure while the train was a traditional puffy but tasteful complement. She could have spent countless hours searching for a dress that she considered perfect. It wasn’t as if she had settled on the dress, not really, because the type of dress she had envisioned for herself wasn’t easy to find, therefore she chose one that was more conventional. Morgan was happy with her choice now and that was fine.
They were to have 125 guests, more people than she had expected to invite, but it was difficult to cross people off her list; she wanted everyone to celebrate their special day.
Morgan had wanted an outdoor ceremony, perhaps on the beach or somewhere in a romantic meadow, but Mike had insisted that it just wasn’t practical because the weather couldn’t be predicted. Inside it was, where she could plan regardless the weather. She supposed it made sense.
She and Declan had spoken of going to Costa Rica, so she wanted to pick someplace different, although Costa Rica was right up there with favorite destinations. Mike stated several times that he would love to see Cozumel, so Morgan decided that Mexico it was. Ten long, romantic days in Mexico sounded like heaven.
It was a good feeling, putting her trust in her relationship with Mike. For the first time in years, she felt settled in her life with Mike. He was a good, solid, honest man, and she was a lucky woman to have him. Each day with him, she treated him well and tried her best to be upbeat and positive. The nightmares and thoughts continued, and maybe they always would. Perhaps it was a way that she would always remain connected with Declan, and so be it. This time, she had perspective and would hold Declan in a private space in her heart.
Even Elle seemed to be coming around, basking in her role as maid of honor. Morgan was excited to get started on the rest of her life with Mike. They spoke of their dreams together, including having children. Morgan had always dreamed of taking a few years off from work, holding her tenure, and then returning to work to continue her career. It seemed the perfect balance.
Morgan was due at the dress shop for one of her final fittings in about a half hour when she received a text message. Smiling to herself, she figured it would be Mike, wishing her luck, telling her how beautiful she would look in the dress.
Her heart stilled when she saw the message was from Stephen. What on Earth could he possibly want now? Did he want to wish her happiness with her upcoming wedding?
It’s Stephen. Call me when you get a chance.
How odd. Seconds later, Mike’s text came through, wishing her luck with the fitting, telling her how stunning she would look. Morgan typed back a quick response to Mike while pondering over the Stephen dilemma. Of course she should call him back, but what if just speaking to him set her back, letting her mind free to think about all things Declan? But that was silly, of course. She was a grown woman, in control of her own mind and emotions. Stealing a glance at her kitchen clock, Morgan saw that she had a few minutes to give him a call before Mike was due back from getting his car serviced. It would have to be a quick conversation otherwise she would be late for her appointment.
The pounding of her heart told Morgan that this would be a difficult conversation. She glanced at the text and hit the button to respond to call him. After only one ring, Stephen picked up.
“Morgan!” He sounded excited or maybe nervous to hear from her. Butterflies flitted around her own insides as she found her voice.
“Hi Stephen,” she squeaked.
Her heart raced in her chest. Funny, Declan h
ad always joked that if something were to happen to him, she should date Stephen. The idea was absurd; Stephen was like a brother to her. After some preliminary chatter, he got down to business.
“Morgan, I have some bad news I thought you should know.” His voice frightened Morgan and at once she figured it out. Oh my God, it has to be Declan’s mom.
“No! Please don’t tell me that something happened to Mrs. Blake.”
But she already knew it in her heart, and his silence only confirmed her fears. A tear spilled down her cheek; she would always consider that woman to be like a mother to her.
“I’m sorry. It’s very sad, but she’ll be in a better place. You know that.”
She did, and for that she was relieved.
He continued on, “I just figured that you might want to pay your respects, I mean if you can’t…”
Was he kidding? Of course she did. That woman meant the world to her. Come hell or high water, she would find a way to attend her services. But how could she without Mike becoming upset? She could pretend that she was going on a pre-wedding trip with Elle, but that would be starting married life off on a lie, and they had promised each other that there would be no more lies. Tough, Mike would just have to deal with it. She wasn’t compromising when it came to Mrs. Blake.
“No, I’m going. Where will the services be held, Florida?” She heard silence and then hesitation.
“Yes, the services will be held in Florida. Are you sure about this?” Stephen sputtered.
“Absolutely. I’m going. As a matter of fact, we can catch a flight together.” She was firm about her beliefs. This was the right thing to do, the only thing to do.
“But, there’s something…” His voice drifted as Morgan thought she heard the door to her house opening. Shoot, Mike was back already? What was Stephen mumbling about?
“Stephen, I have to go. Book the flight and I’ll pay you later.”
She slammed her cell down, wiped her cheeks, and prepared to face Mike. He wouldn’t like this, not one little bit. Bracing herself for the impending argument, Morgan fidgeted in her spot at the counter.
“How did it go?” Mike was all smiles, meandering into the kitchen.
Shoot! Her fitting! There was no way she could make it now, she would have to call and reschedule.
“Um, I didn’t go,” Morgan mumbled, glancing down at the granite counter.
“What? Why not?” Mike’s face registered worry.
Here goes. Pressing her lips together, Morgan wished there was another way.
“Sit down, please. We need to talk about something.”
Mike did as he was asked, moving his seat close to Morgan.
“Morgan, what is it? Is everything okay?” He placed his hands on her cheeks, gazing into her eyes with concern.
“It’s Mrs. Blake, Declan’s mom. You know how close we were.” She needed to just spit it out, get it out in the open.
Mike shook his head, sitting back. “I don’t understand. What does this have to do with your fitting?” His eyes darted across her face. “Talk to me, Morgan, for God’s sake, talk to me.”
No, this wouldn’t go well, not at all. “Mike, I love you very much, but I have to go to the services.”
There. She said it. Daring a look at his face, it was worse than she had expected. She cringed, waiting for him to blow.
He pounded his fist on the counter, rising at once. “What? Are you serious?” he shouted, pacing the floor. “No way! No way am I letting you go!”
What was this? Who did he think he was, ordering her around like this?
“Mike, you’d better calm down, or I swear right here and now, you’re going to lose me. You’re being completely irrational.”
“I said no!”
Morgan shrunk back, witnessing the scene before her. Mike smashed his fist at the wall, causing the wall to crumble.
“Oh my God, Mike!” she shrieked, jumping from the kitchen stool. She was prepared to tell him to leave, to cool off, when suddenly he turned and clenched his fists to his sides.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t go. I forbid it.” Steely eyes met hers.
Did he just say that he forbid it?
“I’m sorry, but what did you just say to me?” Her voice was dangerously low.
Mike stepped back at bit, as if realizing, too late, the mistake he’d made. He gulped loudly, raking his hands through his hair.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.” He pleaded with his eyes. “Please don’t go. I beg you.”
My God, the man was begging; his face registered panic. But it was time to stand her ground.
“Take it or leave it, Mike. I’m going and there’s nothing that you can say or do to change my mind, so deal with it.”
In the back of her mind, she felt a strange feeling of triumph. This was maybe that scene in a movie where the audience clapped loudly for their heroine. He stared at her for the longest moment and then nodded his head, as if accepting the situation.
“Okay, okay… fine. But I want to go with you.”
Was he kidding? Why on earth would he possibly want to torture himself with going? Was this a sense of control that he was trying to exercise over her? What was with him?
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Don’t get upset, but I’m planning on going with Stephen, Declan’s friend.”
Mike’s face visibly went from red to a strange shade of purple. He waited moments before speaking. “If we’re going to be fair about this, I want to go.”
“Fine, but this is really ridiculous. You won’t even know anybody there, but fine! Now, I’m going to clear my head.”
Morgan swooped up her bag and grabbed the keys from above the doorway. Mike didn’t try to stop her.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
HE WAS JUST COMING in from the dog park with D when he got the news. Betty, his favorite nurse from Sunset Pines had called him. D was all over him, smothering him with kisses as he hung up his phone. Instead of reprimanding the dog, he clung to her for all he was worth. He knew this was coming, but it didn’t soften the blow.
Memories of his mom and dad flooded his mind. D seemed to understand, as she clung tightly by Declan’s side. How could he mange without his mom? It wouldn’t be the same, not ever. Betty quietly instructed him to plan for the service. His first thoughts went instantly to Morgan. She should be there, for she loved his mother almost as much as he did. But that could never happen. Next, his thoughts went to Amber. He needed a friend right now. He placed the call and didn’t wait long for her to arrive at his door.
“Sweetie, come here.” She pulled him in, kissing him gingerly on the cheek.
He sobbed into her shoulder for what seemed like hours. Amber said that she would help him take care of everything, including calling the few relatives he had left and Stephen. She was something else; he didn’t know how he would have made it through this without her by his side.
“Do you need me to stay?” Amber inquired softly when it grew dark outside.
Asking her to stay would mean trouble; he wasn’t in his right mind and didn’t think it would be appropriate.
“You’re an angel. Thank you, but no.” Was it disappointment on her face or just sadness for him?
“Okay, I’m going to get going.”
Amber hesitated for a moment by the door. She looked so innocent and beautiful standing there. For a second, he wished to scoop her up and give himself to her. It wasn’t right, though, and it never would be.
“Declan?”
“Hmm?” His trance was broken.
“Are you going to let her know?” Hope filled Amber’s eyes as tears misted over.
“No.”
She seemed to accept his answer as she turned and walked out the door and into the warm, dark night air.
It wouldn’t do her any good if she knew. As a matter of fact, it would only make her life more difficult. Stephen had informed him that Morgan was due to marry any day now, so what was the point? B
esides, just seeing her again, well, he couldn’t predict what kind of reaction she would draw from him.
For a moment he was lost in her — her face, hair, her very being. He could almost smell her baby powder-scented perfume. His heart ached for her. This was nonsense, there was no way he would put himself or her through undeniable torture.
Suddenly another thought was upon him. What if one day they crossed paths, for whatever reason? What would she think of him? She would have every right to be angry, to never speak to him again. He didn’t want their relationship flawed; funny as it sounded, their love stayed pure and innocent right where it was now.
It took Amber mere seconds to text him. He should have known that the woman was relentless, that she wouldn’t give up easily.
We need to talk about this. I think the time has come to make things right.
Was she out of her mind?
No way, he texted right back.
His phone remained silent after that.
Morgan couldn’t get him to change his mind, no matter what she said, so Mike would be joining her in Florida. What was the difference anyway? She just didn’t understand why that man was being so stubborn, so difficult about this. He was acting as if their very relationship depended upon him joining her, like he would lose her otherwise.
Ever since she had received that call from Stephen, Mike was acting desperate, peculiar.
Stephen would go down on his own; Morgan wasn’t in the mood for this trip to be more awkward than it needed to be. Imagine that, Mike, Stephen, and her, the happy friends traveling together. Even she had to laugh at that.