Wasted Time

by Mya O'Malley

  She led the way into her room and shut the door behind them. Mike paced the floor, taking in deep breaths.

  “I have always been there for you. I would never lie to you. I’m the one, Morgan, I’m the one who brought you back, made you love again after he lied to you!”

  The constant pounding of her head brought a piercing stress headache; she only got these during times of extreme stress, like when Declan was presumed dead. But he wasn’t dead, was he?

  Standing before her was a good man, a man that had been there for her through thick and thin, who stood by her and true to his word, never lied to her. Her heart cried out for Declan, but she didn’t want to hurt Mike. How could she reject him, like his own mother had?

  “I think we should postpone the wedding,” she stammered, her eyes shut tight so that she didn’t have to see the hurt in his eyes.

  “No,” Mike stated firmly.

  What did he just say? Slowly she pried her eyes open, daring to look at him.

  “What?” Maybe she hadn’t heard him correctly. “What did you say?”

  “I said no. Morgan, we’ve been through worse. I’m not giving up on you now. I love you with all my heart, and I’m not giving up on this fight. If you want to leave me standing at the altar, in front of all our friends and family, that’s a chance I’m willing to take.”

  It was strange. She had expected yelling, pounding, throwing things even, but here he was, crying, but calmly telling her that he wasn’t giving up on her. Why couldn’t he be an ass? A selfish ass? She didn’t want to hurt either man, this was a hopeless situation.

  “I came here to surprise you, Morgan. I wanted it to be romantic, something we would remember well into our married years. The shock has worn off now, and I’m not mad at you, upset yes, but I think I can forgive you for this. Declan’s been manipulating you for years, playing with your fragile emotions.”

  Just moments ago, Morgan had stood by Declan’s side, in love with the man. Her mind was made up; she was meant to be with Declan. How could she give him up, the one her heart had cried for all these years?

  Fatigue coursed through her body. “Mike, I want to leave. I want to go home. I just want to go home.”

  “Good, Morgan, that’s good. We’ll go home.” His eyes were hopeful.

  “Mike, I can’t do this. We can’t get married right now. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone.”

  “But you can’t do this, Morgan, I beg you.”

  It hurt to see the pain in his eyes, but she needed to stop this now. “Mike, if I married you right now, I can guarantee we’d both live to regret it.” She was going to tear his heart apart, but there was no other way. “I need time to sort all of this out. Declan wasn’t manipulating me, he was protecting me.”

  “I don’t want to hear this,” Mike exclaimed, walking away from her. “Lies, everything that man says is a lie. How could you believe him?”

  “Mike, you couldn’t begin to understand this situation between Declan and me. I don’t want to hurt, you. God, it’s the last thing I want…”

  He grabbed her hands in his. “Then don’t, Morgan.”

  Her head throbbed; she needed some aspirin and time alone. “That’s not fair, Mike. I need to go home, and I’m asking for space. Please respect that.”

  Silence filled the room as Mike paced back and forth, clenching his fists.

  “Give me a minute,” Morgan stated, heading toward the door.

  He blocked her way for a moment, studying her face before stepping out of her way to give her space. Bright sunshine only intensified her headache.

  Placing a call to Declan, the rings came across loud, too loud for her raw nerves.

  “Hey beautiful!” Declan exclaimed.

  Through tears, she explained how Mike had been there, waiting in the shadows, determined to take her back home. She could barely get the words out.

  “Stay right there, Morgan, I’m on my way!”

  No, she couldn’t have that. That would be an awful scene.

  “No, don’t come, Declan. I’m leaving. I’m going home,” she managed, her face a teary mess.

  “No, you’re not making sense. You decided that we would be together. Don’t you remember last night, on the Ferris Wheel?” He was desperate, grasping, and she knew it.

  It only made her anxious right now, both men pulling her in opposite directions. She was going to snap; she was ready to break.

  “I need time alone to think, Declan. I feel horrible; I was supposed to marry him in a few days!”

  Silence filled the line and she pictured Declan, his mouth set in a firm, unyielding line. They had fought so many times before, but this time there was finality in the air. Through her wracking sobs, she waited for him, waited for him to say anything.

  “Declan?” She wasn’t even sure he was still on the line. “Declan?”

  “I’m here.”

  Finally.

  “Morgan, I’ll fight to the death for a woman who wants me, but you see, I have to be sure that you want me. I thought you were sure, but now? I’ll be here for you, but I’m not going to beg. I’m not a begging man.”

  She had heard him use those words before; it brought back times of them together. His voice was so calm and clear right now, like he had removed himself from the situation. Declan could be cold at times, but she knew it was his defense mechanism. Bottom line, Declan had a heart of gold.

  “I have to go.” She nearly choked on her words as she gently pressed the button to end the call.

  Within seconds, Mike was beside her. He stood there, just staring at her.

  “I love you, you know.”

  She didn’t want to hear that right now, it was killing her. This was all her fault. If she wasn’t over Declan all those years ago, she should have never pushed it; she should have taken more time to be on her own. Now look at the situation she had on her hands.

  “Did you hear me?”

  He came even closer. Morgan cringed, wanting to crawl up in a ball, just to be by herself.

  “Please.” Morgan closed her eyes, waving him back with her hand. “I’ve had a really tough last couple of days, I need some space.”

  “From where I’m sitting, it didn’t appear to be that tough at all.” Mike sneered.

  She would not engage, nope, she wouldn’t take the bait.

  “I can’t so this right now. I admit what I did was wrong, to both of you.” It was, it was so very wrong. On so many levels. As much as she loved Declan, she had no business being with him until she had sorted out this mess.

  “Well, let’s not forget that you’re the victim here. Declan played you like a fiddle…”

  She started to see red; he was not going to put Declan down. She wouldn’t allow it. Declan wasn’t some criminal here; he was a man who was dealt a really shitty hand and lacked the coping skills to handle the situation properly. As awful as it had been, Declan’s behavior came from an unselfish place and she loved him for it.

  “One more word, one more negative… Scratch that, one more word period, about Declan and I’m going to lose it.” He was crossing boundaries and she wouldn’t allow it anymore.

  “Fine, fine. Let’s check out and get the hell out of here,” Mike blurted, staring at the wall in front of him.

  Morgan wished that Stephen would be on that flight home instead of extending his stay here with Amber. She needed a buffer from Mike, and she wasn’t going to get it.

  She was leaving Florida behind. Last night’s memories seemed like a lifetime ago.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  THE FLIGHT HAD BEEN long and tense. To top it all off, Declan hadn’t even called. No texts, nothing. He had made it abundantly clear that he wouldn’t beg. Stubbornness was not one of his endearing qualities.

  This felt wrong, yes, she loved Mike, but not enough. Not enough to keep her mind from wandering to Declan a thousand times a day.

  Awkwardness filled the air as Morgan grabbed her bags from the car. Mike had used a car service to d
rive him to the airport earlier, so they rode back to her house together, mostly in silence. He would need to leave her here, go back to his place, but he grabbed his bags, along with some of hers and headed to the front door.

  “Mike, I can get my bags, it’s okay.”

  “It’s no problem, come on, let’s head inside and relax for a while.”

  Did he not understand everything she had tried to tell him? He wasn’t going to make this easy for her. “Mike, no. I need time alone to sort everything out.”

  “Morgan? The wedding, the honeymoon. We can’t get our money back, the flight is booked.”

  The aspirin she had taken on the flight had worn off and her head was beginning to throb again. “Mike, the wedding is off…”

  “Postponed, you said it was postponed,” he stated, moving toward her.

  Thoughts of their conversation flooded her mind. Damn, she had said that, but she hadn’t been thinking clearly.

  “Mike, don’t make this harder for both of us. I’ll take care of canceling everything. I think you should grab some of your things and go back to your place for now.”

  Tears filled his eyes and part of her wanted to reach out and hold him, the part of her that felt guilty for causing so much pain.

  “Morgan, I want you to choose me. I can make you happy, give me this last chance.” He pulled her into his arms and lowered his head onto hers. “Don’t leave me.”

  Heartache consumed her as she sobbed along with him. Part of her would miss him, denying it would be useless. They had spent so much time together, even if their relationship had been strained lately, there were definitely good memories to be cherished.

  “Mike, please go.” She broke free from his embrace then watched from the front yard as he let himself in the house with his key.

  It would be easier if she stayed out here until he had finished packing a bag for himself. Before long, he was back outside, approaching her.

  “Good night, Mike. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  If she was acting cold, she was sorry, but she didn’t see any other way. Leading him to believe everything was okay between them was crueler, in her opinion.

  The slam of his car door snapped her out of her thoughts. It was going to be a long night. She had a lot of thinking to do; she had already made up her mind, it was clear, there was only one possible outcome, but her decision would cause so much pain to another. “Oh please forgive me, Mike.”

  Early the next morning, she woke. Sleep hadn’t come easy to her the night before. Thoughts of Declan and Mike prevented her from getting any rest. She needed to call Declan, but she had business to attend to first.

  No matter how she handled this, she was going to hurt Mike. She made some necessary phone calls, which were not pleasant, but after many hours, most of them were out of the way. Her mother had actually offered to call all the relatives on her side, which made it a lot easier for Morgan to handle.

  The honeymoon situation wasn’t as easy. It was too late to get a refund for the trip. Between the airfare and resort, this was going to set her back quite a bit since half of the trip had been paid for out of her bank account. Later she would sit down and figure it all out.

  What she really needed right now was to hear Declan’s voice. Soon, she thought. For now, she needed to prepare for Mike’s visit. After many texts on Mike’s part, she had called him back and asked him to come over and talk. He said he would come that evening. After a stressful day attending to the cancellation of the wedding, she wanted to relax but knew she couldn’t until she and Mike had a conversation.

  Tea was brewing in the kitchen as she heard the knock on the door. The fact that he knocked even seemed strange right now, a result of their strained relationship. He looked exhausted and she was sure she appeared the same.

  “Come on upstairs.” She led the way into the kitchen. “Can I get you anything to drink, water, tea?”

  “I don’t want anything to drink, Morgan. I want you, I want us.” His voice quivered as he faced her.

  “Mike,” she began, her eyes full of sorrow. “I’m so sorry.”

  Whoever said breaking up was easier on the person ending the relationship had never experienced the gut-wrenching pain she felt right now.

  Mike stood, his eyes searching her face.

  “He told you, didn’t he?” It was an accusation and Morgan had no clue what Mike was talking about. His demeanor had shifted from sad to accusatory in a matter of seconds. It was throwing her off, his shift in mood.

  “Mike… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “He told you, of course he told you all about it. That phone call months ago. I knew he would. I knew it!” Mike smashed his hand down on the table beside them.

  What on earth did he mean? What phone call? Confusion clouded her mind, trying to make sense of what Mike said. She grasped his hands.

  “What phone call?”

  Mike’s eyes were wide. “Oh my God, he didn’t tell you, did he? He really didn’t tell you?” Mike pulled away from her grasp, walking around in circles.

  “No he didn’t, but now you’re going to tell me, Mike. Tell me what is going on!” Morgan yelled, causing Mike to stop and stare at her.

  “It doesn’t even matter. Obviously you love him, not me. It was clear right from the start. Dreams of Declan, memories of the perfect Declan, Declan this and Declan that, Declan’s ring, the letter… it was always Declan!” Mike shouted, drawing closer, his fists clenched.

  Morgan had never feared for her safety with this man, but right now he looked like a maniac, his eyes wild.

  “No, stop!” Morgan matched his voice with her strong one. “You know something, don’t you? Declan called for me? He called my house and you never told me? And there was a letter?”

  Her heart hammered away; she had never been so angry before in her life. He had called her; Declan had called her! It had to be what Mike was talking about.

  “When? When did he call?”

  Oh my God. All this time, these past months, he had lied to her. Mike knew that Declan was alive and he had let her suffer. Pieces of the puzzle were starting to come together — Mike driving to the upstate cabin, irritable, tense, proposing to her, losing patience more and more at the mention of Declan’s name.

  “Oh my… you knew when you proposed to me, didn’t you?”

  Silence. Mike’s gaze reached the floor.

  “Didn’t you?” Morgan edged closer to him, ready to wring his neck.

  “Yes, Morgan.” It was barely a whisper.

  “What did you say? Say it louder!” She felt like the lunatic now, raging at him.

  “I said, yes.”

  “Louder!” she demanded, grabbing hold of him and placing pressure on his arms.

  “Yes! Yes, Morgan! I did. To save us, Morgan, I did it for us!” Mike’s tears started. Those crocodile tears of his, each time he lied, watched her suffer. Here she thought he was so honest.

  “How dare you! Get out of here. I never want to lay eyes on you again!”

  She wanted him out, out of her life, out of her house.

  “You get your stuff out of my house. Somebody will be here to oversee it. I’m taking my honeymoon alone. When I get back from Mexico I want you gone. Do you hear me? Gone!”

  It made sense for her to take this trip, what she needed was some time to rest and heal.

  “You’re going without me?”

  Was he kidding?

  “Goodbye, Mike.”

  “Morgan, with time, I hope you’ll see that I did it for us. I love you and I hope you’ll forgive me. I had no choice.”

  “You had a choice, Mike. You could have chosen to be honest with me. Lies always catch up in the end. Remember that.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  MORGAN WOULD BE PREPARING for her wedding now. It had taken every bit of Declan’s restraint to stay here in Florida, especially with Amber and Stephen urging him to go to her, to try to stop the wedding. The fact that she hadn’t call
ed him yet compounded with her tone the last time they spoke. She sounded confused and he feared guilt was tearing her in a different direction.

  Part of him had wished he had told her that he had tried calling months ago, before she was even engaged. Obviously that snake of a man hadn’t told her, and quite frankly it didn’t surprise him. He should have said something, then and now, but he held back because he didn’t wish to interfere.

  Stupid now, he saw that in retrospect, but it was too late. She was getting married and he had no choice but to leave her alone. Witnessing the growing relationship between Stephen and Amber caused mixed feelings. He was happy for them, but their budding romance served to remind him of the love he shared with Morgan. After all those lonely years, she had been in his arms, where she belonged. Now she was the furthest from him that she had ever been.

  Forcing his mind back to that dark day, all those months ago, when he had finally pulled together the courage he needed to place the call, Declan winced.

  His letter had gone unanswered, so it was pretty clear that she didn’t want him in her life anymore. But couldn’t a letter get lost? He’d heard of that happening before. Chances were slim, but wasn’t it at least worth making the call, trying one last attempt?

  His therapist had succeeded in convincing Declan that he was, indeed, a whole man, one who deserved to be happy. Yes, the woman had provided him with the strength to call Morgan, to try one last time to help make himself truly whole.

  Four rings had past and Declan held his cell phone tight, close to his face. For the first time in years, he heard her voice. He hadn’t prepared himself for the gripping feelings that came next — the fear, the elation — it was all too much.

  Like a frightened schoolboy, Declan slapped his cell shut, sweat clinging to his chest. After counting to ten, he released a pent up breath and steadied his shaking hands. He could do it; he was a strong man who had come from the brink of hell and back.

  But when he placed a call again, days later, he was met with a far different voice. This one was distinctly male. Visions of another man consumed him, stealing his breath. But it could be something else, right? One thing he hadn’t thought through was Morgan reaching out to another man.