Four

by Tia Fielding

  “They’re not very sensitive, but y-yes, you can touch, but wait,” Kaos said, then quickly moved beside Padraig. “Take off your underwear.”

  Blinking at the almost-command, Padraig lifted his ass to help Kaos when he tugged at the elastic of his boxer briefs. His dick slapped against his stomach, and Kaos honest to God licked his lips.

  That wasn’t what he had in mind, though. Instead, he straddled Padraig, moving until the silk of his underwear was touching Padraig’s balls. Then he did some sort of a little swivel with his hips, rubbing his package against Padraig’s sensitive skin, and Padraig startled at the sound that escaped his own mouth.

  “Good?” Kaos smirked, his expression wicked like never before. “Always wanted to try that.”

  “So fucking good,” Padraig managed to say. He ran his palms from Kaos’s knees up his thighs and his slender form until he could tease his nipples. Even if they weren’t sensitive, when Padraig tugged both at the same time, Kaos whined under his breath, and a dark stain of precome appeared on the silk covering his cock.

  “Can I see you?” he asked, thinking Kaos would take off the lingerie.

  Nodding, Kaos reached into the panties and pulled out his cock, tugging the waistband almost obscenely under his balls.

  Unable to help himself, Padraig ran his fingers along the length of the slender dick. “How are you so pretty everywhere.”

  It must’ve been something Kaos wanted to hear, because he leaned forward and kissed Padraig hard, sucking on his tongue while those artist’s fingers wrapped around his cock. Padraig responded in kind, and soon they were jerking each other off between their bodies. It was awkward as fuck with the way they didn’t seem to be able to stop kissing, but then much too soon, Kaos wrenched his mouth off Padraig’s and sat up again.

  Padraig was about to protest, but then Kaos threw his head back and moaned long and hard, hips twitching with a broken rhythm, as his cock jetted come over Padraig’s hand and stomach. Some of the come landed on Kaos’s own hand, and he swiped Padraig’s stomach for more, then used it as a lube to jerk Padraig off in an uncoordinated way while coming down from his own high.

  Padraig came suddenly, like his body had just remembered how good it could be to have someone else’s hands on him. His back bowed, and the sound he made was distinctly animalistic and awkward. When Kaos let go of his dick and moved carefully to collapse by his side, he smiled widely.

  “So that’s something that worked for both of us,” Kaos said dryly.

  Padraig snorted. “I’d say so.”

  “Five minutes. Then we get up, clean up, and go get Hestia before she gnaws a hole into your walk-in closet door and some more into your shoes.”

  “Uh-huh…,” Padraig mumbled, already sinking into the mattress. A nap would be good, definitely.

  LATER THAT night, they were watching some show on Netflix. The call came around ten.

  It was the emergency line, so Padraig jumped off the couch, where they’d been cuddling with Hestia between them.

  “Dr. Donovan.”

  “Doc, it’s Sheriff Newman. We got a call, a domestic disturbance, about an hour ago. I think we found where your mystery call came from.” The sheriff’s tone was hard to read, probably because he must’ve been in work mode.

  “How bad is it?” Padraig asked, clutching the nearby doorframe with his free hand.

  “It’s…. Fuck. It’s horrible. Worst I’ve ever seen. Mostly dogs and cats. Dozens of them. Farm animals, too, but not that many. I need to contact every possible Humane Society just to get these poor animals somewhere away from here. But—”

  “I’m your first responder. I got it. Text me the address, and I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll call Athena on the way, and every vet in the county and beyond. I’ll raid the clinic for supplies and be right there.”

  “See you then.”

  Padraig turned toward the living room, where Kaos looked at him, obvious worry in his gaze.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Severe animal neglect, it sounds like. Bunch of animals. No idea if it’s hoarding or something else. I need to make calls and get going. I don’t know when I’ll be back. Will probably take until morning at least.”

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  “Coffee in the thermos maybe, while I make the calls?” Padraig jumped as his phone pinged with the address.

  “Yeah, of course.” Kaos got off the couch and went into the kitchen.

  Padraig went to his office and called Athena, who was asleep but promised to meet him at the clinic. Then he dug out the rarely used address book and started to make the calls. He gave himself fifteen minutes, told everyone to either come or make calls of their own, and finally went to his office cupboard to grab his emergency backup gear. It was a huge case of supplies of all kinds, and he had a similar one in the clinic. He rolled the case to the front of the house, scaring Hestia with the sound the rolling wheels.

  “Hey, girl, it’s okay. Nothing to be scared of. Come give Daddy a hug, okay?” He knelt, and once she approached, he gently picked her up and hugged her close.

  “I made sandwiches. Eat at some point if you can. And here’s coffee in the big thermos and in your travel mug.”

  Padraig got up and traded Hestia for the canvas bag Kaos had filled for him. He leaned in and kissed Kaos on the lips. “Thank you. If you don’t hear from me, don’t be worried, okay? It’s going to be fine. I’ll just be busy.”

  “Okay.”

  There was nothing else to say, so Padraig got dressed in his work clothes, took all the gear to the car, and drove to the clinic to meet Athena.

  SOMETIME THE next morning, Padraig stumbled up the stairs of the house, the only thing in his mind to hug his dog, hug his… Kaos, and fall asleep for a few days.

  He was emotionally done, his body was aching in places he didn’t know could ache, and tired enough that the sheriff almost hadn’t let him drive himself home.

  He’d been to places like the mini farm before, but it had been so bad… so…. He sobbed quietly as he unlocked the door, wondering what time it was exactly.

  He needed his dog, Kaos, and bed. In that exact order. Anything else could wait.

  Luckily Hestia was downstairs, and she ran to him as soon as he had the door open. He automatically put his bag on the end table by the door, and then she collided with his legs, almost sent him toppling backward. He managed to just pull himself inside the house and collapse on the floor instead of outside. He cried into her fur while she squirmed like crazy, trying to lick away the tears he was shedding. Eventually the tears stopped, and she’d settled against him quietly, as if realizing he needed her to be right there.

  “Where’s your other daddy?” Padraig asked her.

  “I’m right here, sweetheart.” Kaos stepped into his view and smiled at him sadly. “That bad?”

  Padraig felt a new surge of tears for all the hurt souls on that farm, and nodded, sobbing again as Kaos pulled him up. He was enveloped in a surprisingly strong hug then, and Kaos tensed.

  “What?” Padraig asked, pulling back, confused.

  “Uh, your bag. There’s… there’s blood on it.” Kaos pointed past him, and Padraig turned to look.

  There was, indeed, blood on his bag, in several spots. He hadn’t noticed, hadn’t had time to notice.

  “I’m just a bit squeamish. It’s fine,” Kaos said quickly, but his tone betrayed the fact that it wasn’t fine at all.

  Padraig took the bag and headed to the kitchen. “I’ll clean it. It’s better to clean it right away anyways—”

  “No, I see blood at work when I tattoo. I should be fine,” Kaos insisted, walking after him.

  “It’s different when it’s that kind of blood. This came from misery, Kaos. Of course I’ll—”

  He stopped when he got to the kitchen. The appliances he’d forgotten about—Marcus’s appliances, the cherry-red ones he’d adored—were on the counters. They were almost in the right places too.
Where they had been.

  Slowly, Padraig made himself put the bag down on the island. “Why are those here?” he asked quietly.

  “The toaster let out sparks when I put it on this morning, so then I remembered the appliances in the cupboard and—” Kaos froze when he rounded Padraig and saw his expression.

  “You had no right.”

  “I thought—”

  “Well, you thought wrong!” Padraig roared. He lunged past Kaos to grab the fucking toaster, his mind wanting to get it out of the house right at that moment. What stopped him was the way Kaos let out a whimper, collapsed on the floor, and cowered, shielding his head with his arms.

  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I won’t touch anything, I won’t, don’t, please don’t hurt me, I’m so sorry….”

  The litany of words, pleas, eventually penetrated the haze that had taken over Padraig’s mind. Just as gradually, he let go of the toaster he’d grabbed and made sure it was firmly on the counter. Then he stepped back, away from Kaos, and crouched.

  “Kaos? Honey? I…. Can you look at me?” His heart was going too fast now, the realization of what he’d just done rushing through him like a tidal wave.

  Kaos made another pathetic little noise, but the pleas stopped. The trembling didn’t.

  “Can you look at me, please? I’m not going to hurt you.”

  Tentatively, Hestia rounded the island on the other side and went to Kaos, pushing her nose into his lap, past the arms, until she reached his face. She seemed to be trying to wiggle her way into his arms, and after couple of very long minutes, she managed.

  Padraig’s body decided to give up on staying in a crouch, and he had to lower himself into a sitting position before he crashed.

  “W-what…?” Kaos couldn’t get the question out.

  Padraig let his head thump against the cupboard door behind him and sighed. His voice was monotonic even to his own ears as he started to speak. “Six months or so before he died, I realized Marcus was cheating on me. I… I struggled with it, but I believed him when he said he was done, that he’d be faithful. It’s…. There’s a longer story behind all this. He bought those appliances when I’d finally forgiven him. A new start, he called it. We spent so much time in the kitchen because he loved to cook, so the appliances….”

  “You put them away when he died?” Kaos sniffled.

  “Yeah. I couldn’t…. The reminder was….” Padraig reached up to tear a piece of the paper towel roll from the counter and handed it to Kaos.

  He blew his nose, then nodded. “Okay.”

  “What?”

  “Okay. I’m sorry I put them back without asking you. It didn’t occur to me that they’d have bad memories attached.”

  “I should’ve told you.” Padraig’s brain was flashing warning lights and sirens at him, but he still said, “I would never hurt you, Kaos.”

  The change in Kaos’s demeanor was instant. He sat up and glared at Padraig with such sharp ice in his gaze that Padraig could’ve sworn felt it physically. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard that same exact thing? Or a variation of it? Do you know how quickly the ‘never will’ becomes a ‘won’t again’? Do you?” Kaos got to his feet.

  “Kaos, I—”

  “No. There’s food I made for you in the fridge. Eat and go to bed. We’ll talk when I’m less shaken and angry, and you’ve rested. Take Hestia with you. I tired her out already, so she could nap with you.”

  With that, Kaos walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs, and there was nothing Padraig could do to stop him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  KAOS SHOOK so hard, he banged his fingers on the doorknob of his room while trying to open it. He cursed under his breath and tried again, finally managing to use it correctly. As soon as he was inside, he closed the door and hated himself just a bit for locking it too.

  He stumbled across the room, going toward his bed, but then realized he hadn’t exactly put in new sheets since the previous day and changed course, going to the bathroom and climbing into the tub instead.

  He had to twist this way and that to get his phone out of his pocket, but once he did, he called Makai.

  “Hey, K, what’s up?” Makai sounded pleased to hear from him, and that did Kaos in.

  “Makai,” he whispered, then started to sob.

  “Kaos, what’s wrong? Are you at home?”

  “Uh-huh,” he sobbed out.

  “Do you need me?”

  “Yeah, please.”

  “We’re in town, so fifteen minutes, okay?”

  “Drive carefully,” Kaos added before disconnecting the call just because he couldn’t bring himself to hold the phone anymore. He let it drop onto his lap, curled into a ball, and allowed himself to shake into pieces.

  HESTIA BARKING downstairs snapped him out of his head, and he pulled himself up and out of the tub and wobbled to his room, just in time to hear Makai on the outside of his door.

  “Kaos?”

  “Y-yeah, give me a sec, it’s locked.”

  “Why is it lo—?”

  “Shush,” Emil’s voice snapped, and Makai quieted.

  Kaos flicked the lock and stepped back. Makai opened the door, looking at him and searching his face for any clue of what was going on, it seemed.

  “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s gonna be okay,” Makai said firmly, opening his arms instead of crowding him, and Kaos went to him, sobbing again.

  There was a love seat in the room, and that’s where Makai guided him. They sat down, Kaos pretty much on Makai’s lap. Emil stood nearby but didn’t join them. There wasn’t room, Kaos thought.

  “Emil?” he asked when he could speak again.

  “Yes, honey?” Emil crouched so he could look at Kaos’s face with how he was hiding against Makai’s chest.

  “Can you check up on Padraig? He had a horrible case at work. He’s not stable right now.”

  Emil glanced at Makai, and Kaos felt him nod. “Okay. Just call me if you need me.” Emil smiled at him sadly, then got back to his feet and went out of the room.

  Makai didn’t press him, just held him close until he felt ready to talk.

  “I fucked up, Makai,” Kaos said finally.

  “You need to explain that to me, baby brother.” Makai’s tone was even, his voice deep and calming somehow, like it had always been for Kaos.

  He explained about how close they’d gotten now, about the call and the horrors Padraig had been faced with.

  “Yeah, we know some of it. Emil’s dad called us, asking to borrow our cat carriers.”

  “He was there for twelve hours straight, Makai. He was dead on his feet when he came home.” The sight of Padraig sobbing on the floor with Hestia on his lap made Kaos’s heart hurt like hell. He’d never seen grief like that before, not for animals at least.

  “I can understand that.”

  “I got up early, made some pasta salad for him so he’d have something to eat when he got home. I had no way of knowing when he’d get back, so I did what I could. I took care of Hestia, and I made sure she’d be tired again so he could have her for company when he crashed, and….”

  “Take your time—there’s no rush,” Makai assured him, squeezing him even closer.

  The fact that there was no eye contact made telling it all easier. With a therapist, he’d always felt a bit weird, especially with the one man who had insisted on regular eye contact. Something about “confronting things” or some such. Makai’s long hair had partially escaped his ponytail, so Kaos stared at the closest strand of it and took in a deep breath.

  He told Makai about the broken toaster and Marcus’s infidelity. He explained how he couldn’t remember anything but Padraig’s mask of rage and the way he lunged forward.

  “He didn’t touch you, did he?” Makai’s voice was carefully neutral, but Kaos could feel the way he tensed waiting for the answer.

  “No, no, it wasn’t aggression aimed at me, I don’t think. It was him being exhausted, overwhelmed,
and just… I think he has a bunch of issues when it comes to Marcus, still. I just brought it up in the worst possible time.” Kaos sighed and pulled back to look at Makai. “He didn’t mean to hurt me. I know he wouldn’t hurt me on purpose, okay? You’re here to make me feel better, not to read him the riot act, Makai.”

  “I don’t—”

  “He’s not a violent man. Trust me. I know what that looks like, just like you do.”

  Makai let him get to his feet, then pulled his hair out of the ponytail and retied it before looking at Kaos again. “Do you feel safe here?”

  And that right there was the question, wasn’t it? “I need to talk to him. Then I’ll know.”

  “Do you…?” Makai gnawed on his bottom lip.

  “Do I what?”

  “Have feelings for him?” Makai looked at Kaos, and there was no way to avoid his gaze now.

  “Yes. I think I was well on my way to falling in love with him. It’s…. I mean, I would’ve never….” He gestured helplessly at the bed.

  “Your ex broke you,” Makai said in a careful tone. “Then you put yourself back together. I think coming here reattached some of the last pieces, maybe. This thing that happened today, this is something that tried to jostle those pieces, see if they’d crack or even fall off again, but I don’t think they did.”

  Kaos smiled slowly. “You’re a poet, brother mine.”

  Makai laughed. “No, I just know how it feels to have this town’s help with the healing process. None of us are perfect, will never be. We’ll all have scars, inside and out, but in the end, those scars won’t hurt anymore. They might pull sometimes, when you stretch the wrong way, but you lived through the worst of it and you’re still here.”

  Kaos stepped closer, wrapped his arms around Makai, and clung to his larger form for a few moments. Finally, he stepped back. “Okay, I’m ready. Thank you.”

  “Anytime, Kaos. You know that.” Makai smiled at him, and Kaos returned the expression.

  They went out of the room and to the stairs. Kaos stopped at the top. “Be nice,” he told Makai, who snorted.