Four

by Tia Fielding

  Kaos spent the day cleaning the house from top to bottom—and still finding feathers in ridiculous places, even upstairs—and doing laundry. Stress-cleaning. That was something he’d gotten from his grandma for sure. Thinking about her made him smile when he finally sat down on the couch to rest after a shower and a snack.

  He grabbed a tattoo art book he’d gotten from Padraig for Christmas, but found himself thinking of his grandma again.

  He often wondered what she’d thought of his gender identity. She was a love-and-let-love kind of person, despite having been raised in a religious household. She’d never really gone to church that Kaos could remember and had always told him to find his own way in everything.

  She’d been disappointed when she’d found out that he’d been selling weed to supplement their income, but she hadn’t been surprised. His art, though, that was one of the things she’d taken very seriously, and always encouraged, whether it was the graffiti or the drawing or the tattooing he wanted to do.

  When he’d told her, at the age of thirteen, that he was pretty sure he had a crush on a boy, she’d smiled and told him that the only right way to love was with respect and with all your heart.

  He remembered her reading him Kahlil Gibran’s poetry, especially his thoughts on love. Now, more than a decade later, he could still remember many verses, and realized he’d used those words to justify the things Trev had done to him.

  Maybe it had been because he’d known his grandma would’ve never let him stay with Trev. She’d known he was abusive, and she’d fixed things somehow, because that had been who she was as a person. So when she was gone by the time he got out of jail, and then things started to go bad almost right away, he’d… made a martyr out of himself. He’d thought if he’d just suffer enough, “willingly and joyfully,” then his grandma would be proud of him for trying to conquer Trev’s hatred with love.

  And now… now he could see where he’d gone wrong in so, so many ways.

  Hestia barked and ran to the front door. Seconds later, after shushing her, Kaos could hear the car outside. He went to open the door just in time to see Padraig walk up the stairs and a car driving off.

  Relief hit Kaos like freight train. He let out a choked sob and held on to Hestia’s collar so she wouldn’t go tackle Padraig, who was smiling sheepishly as he carefully moved to them.

  “Oh God,” Kaos blurted. “Don’t ever do that to me again!”

  Padraig gathered him in his arms, and they stood there in the open doorway, with Hestia bouncing around them, for long minutes.

  “I’ll do my best, love,” Padraig murmured into his hair, over and over again.

  “I love you. You’re not allowed to leave me, you hear that?” Kaos said when he finally pulled back and looked Padraig directly in the eyes.

  “Loud and clear.” Padraig smiled tiredly. “I love you too.” Then he lifted a bag he was carrying. “I grabbed takeout from Woodruff. It’s long cold by now, but….”

  “Yeah, gimme. I’ll reheat it while you go shower the hospital stink off you. And take your princess daughter with you—she’ll whine otherwise.” Kaos grabbed the bag and went to the kitchen, trying to hide how good it felt to have Padraig back. Nobody said falling in love with a good man would be easy, nor had he expected it to be, or even expected to fall for anyone ever again. But there he was, in love. Willingly and joyfully.

  Chapter Sixteen

  PADRAIG WOKE up with a warm, cuddly Kaos pressed to his side, and a warmer, slightly less cuddly Hestia on top of his feet.

  “Down, girl,” he whispered, and she jumped off the bed, then headed to her own.

  The headache was gone, luckily, but Padraig was still shaky. He’d go back to work tomorrow, but he felt jittery about it like he hadn’t since his very first days of owning his own clinic. He knew it was fear, logically. He’d been assaulted inside his workplace by someone they hadn’t caught yet.

  The problem was, he couldn’t remember anything at all. The hit to his head had scrambled his brain enough to cause him to lose everything from that workday to somewhere late in the evening.

  “Good morning,” Kaos murmured, blinking at him sleepily.

  “Morning, love.” Padraig kissed his forehead and got a slow smile in response.

  “Sleep well?”

  “Yeah, it’s good to be home.”

  They didn’t talk for a long time, just stayed in bed like that, soaking in the closeness once more. Eventually, they took turns using the bathroom and wandered back in, and Padraig could tell Kaos wasn’t ready to face the world yet.

  “Get back to bed. I’ll take Hestia out and be right back, okay?” He leaned in to kiss Kaos and tucked him back under the covers.

  “Promise?”

  The vulnerability in Kaos’s tone made Padraig’s heart ache, and for a moment, he entertained the thought of letting Hestia wait. But then reason kicked in, and he looked at the dog, who was giving him the stink-eye already. He looked back at Kaos and smiled.

  “I promise.”

  “Okay.”

  He took Hestia downstairs, pulled some shoes and a jacket on top of his pajamas, and then stepped out the back door. She darted into the backyard, and Padraig… well, he stood there on the porch, stunned at what he was seeing.

  “What on earth?”

  “Epic the Snowman.” Kaos stepped beside him and burrowed himself under his open jacket.

  “Epic the Snowman?”

  “Yes. This is what we did yesterday before you got back. Emil named him.”

  Padraig gathered him close, because he’d just pulled on a sweater. “How in the hell did you manage to make a seven-foot-tall snowman?”

  “We used Makai’s height to our advantage. He’s a strong guy and tall enough. Well, we did use a stepladder on the other side for me, and Emil kept Hestia at bay while we lifted the head on.”

  “It’s….” Padraig was quite at loss with words right then.

  “Epic?” Kaos smirked at him.

  “Yes. That.” Padraig laughed and couldn’t stop for a while. Kaos just held on to him and indulged his laughing fit, smiling at him the whole time.

  Hestia did her business and then sniffed around in the backyard until they called her to them.

  “Do you want to go back to bed?” Padraig asked once they were all safely inside from the snow.

  “Yes, please.”

  They went up the stairs, hand in hand, and slid back under the covers to warm each other up. Hestia followed them, carrying her favorite stuffed toy into her bed and settled down as well.

  “It looks like we all need some more comfort today.” Padraig spoke quietly, as if not to disturb the peace in the room.

  “Yeah,” Kaos whispered, and snuck a still too-cool hand under Padraig’s shirt, making him twitch.

  Hestia sighed audibly in her corner, and they both chuckled.

  “She might’ve saved my life.”

  Kaos hummed in agreement. “She’s the best of all girls.”

  “Yeah, she really is. I’m so happy you agreed to have a baby with me.”

  Kaos laughed. “Same.” Then he lifted his head from Padraig’s chest and looked him in the eyes. “Wanna try making another one?”

  For a second Padraig’s mind went blank, but then he snort-laughed. “A bit cheesy, don’t you think?”

  “I suppose,” Kaos admitted, then thought for a moment. “Let me rephrase, then: would you make love with me?”

  “Why, I think I’d love that,” Padraig responded primly, and they were both smiling as they kissed.

  Maybe it shouldn’t have been that easy, but somehow it just was. They got undressed under the covers in the already-cooled room, and made out, rubbing against each other for what felt like hours.

  When Kaos wrenched himself away, Padraig felt disoriented for a moment, and then immediately worried he’d done something to spook Kaos.

  “W-what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I just almost came.” Kaos pant
ed out the words, making sure his body wasn’t touching Padraig.

  Padraig grinned, relieved and amused as hell. “And that’s a problem… how?”

  “I’d rather come with one of us inside the other. I don’t particularly care—”

  Padraig closed his mouth with a kiss. “Rock paper scissors?” he deadpanned, in dire need to get the show on the road.

  Kaos laughed as he shook his head. “No, whichever way you want it is fine by me.”

  Padraig wanted to insist Kaos decide, but then he just reached for the bedside table, glad about the condoms and lube Kaos had bought one day “just in case.”

  “Condoms?” he asked, and Kaos looked thoughtful. They’d had the discussion that they were both clean and had been tested regularly, even though their sex lives had been what they’d been before.

  “No, we need to shower anyway after, so whichever way we go, I want to feel you.”

  Padraig swallowed hard and nodded. He could agree to that. His brain seemed to come to a decision, and he settled on his back, pushing the comforter aside. “I want you to top. We’ll figure out the next time when we come to it, okay?”

  Kaos nodded, and somehow his whole demeanor changed. He took the lube and settled beside Padraig, kissing him deeply. He was taking control, Padraig realized, and smiled into the kiss.

  Kaos didn’t ask why he was smiling, instead choosing to squirt a puddle of cold lube onto Padraig’s stomach, then spread some to his fingers. Padraig squeaked at the cold stuff, but soon moaned when Kaos wrapped his slick fingers around his cock and gave him a few nice, slippery tugs. Then, teasingly, Kaos added lube to his fingers directly from the puddle, and instead of touching Padraig’s dick, he slid his fingers under his balls and down to his hole, then circled it firmly.

  Padraig tensed momentarily.

  Kaos stopped immediately, but he didn’t lift his fingers away from Padraig’s skin. “Okay?”

  Feeling ever so cared for, Padraig shook his head. “Yes, just… been a while.”

  “I know. I’ll take care of you,” Kaos said quietly, smiling at him, before kissing him soundly.

  The fingers moved again, and soon one slipped inside Padraig, making him moan into Kaos’s mouth. Padraig should’ve probably known that Kaos’s caring nature would show in lovemaking as well, but feeling cherished was new to Padraig. Or maybe not new. Maybe it was just so old, he couldn’t remember feeling like this before.

  By the time Kaos deemed him ready, the lube was mostly gone, but Padraig had made a puddle of his own with precome right next to it.

  “Like this?” Kaos asked while moving between his legs.

  “Yeah, I want to see you.”

  “Me too. Tell me if anything feels uncomfortable. You took a fall, and you have stitches on your head. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Blinking away moisture, Padraig nodded. Kaos looked at him, searching his face for something, then nodded back.

  When Kaos pushed inside, Padraig’s breath caught. It wasn’t painful or too much in any way—more like perfect and more and oh my God and more and….

  “I’ll give you more when you’re ready for more,” Kaos said in a gentle-yet-firm tone that made Padraig realize he’d spoken out loud.

  “Please, Kaos.” His hands were fisting the sheets, and he made them relax and move to touch Kaos wherever he could reach. “Please.”

  And so Kaos moved, his lithe, stronger-than-it-appeared body giving Padraig a pleasure he couldn’t remember feeling. Kaos worked to make sure his cock hit Padraig’s spot over and over again, making him moan continuously.

  “Touch yourself,” Kaos said, reached up to slide a hand behind Padraig’s neck and lifted him.

  For a few seconds, Padraig wasn’t sure what he was doing, but then Kaos rammed into him with purpose, and he hastened to jerk himself in rhythm.

  Padraig came and came and came some more, and then Kaos drove into him and stayed there, his body twitching as he groaned and came inside Padraig.

  Only when Kaos lowered his head back to the pillow did Padraig understand—Kaos had made sure he wouldn’t hurt his head during the more vigorous fucking.

  “Thank you,” he said, then winced when Kaos pulled away and he felt the trickle of come slide out.

  “For what?” Kaos moved back next to him and cuddled up like he had been when they woke.

  “Everything.”

  “Ditto.”

  THEY MANAGED to get up, drive into town, and go to the diner for brunch. As they sat there, everyone who walked in came to ask Padraig how he was doing, and many asked Kaos if he was okay, if he wasn’t too scared and so on, making him part of a couple just like that.

  Eventually people let them be, and they ate in relative silence.

  “I really love the food here,” Kaos said after a bite of sausage.

  “Thanks, sweetie. Glad to hear!” Leah, who was passing their booth right then, told Kaos, who smiled.

  Padraig looked out of the window as Hestia maneuvered herself to the front seat of the car, thinking nobody could see her. They’d taken Kaos’s car because the Land Rover was still across the street at the clinic, and maybe she thought the usual rules didn’t apply or something.

  “She’s being a brat,” Kaos commented as he saw what Padraig was looking at.

  “Yeah, she really is.”

  They chatted for a while, and then got coffee and some chocolate cake for dessert. As they were about to finish up, a young couple who Padraig didn’t recognize walked in and went to a booth in the back. He didn’t think anything of it until he was contemplating another cup of coffee and glanced at Hestia to see if she’d likely be okay to wait for a while longer. She was standing inside the car, and even through the windows, Padraig could see her fur was sticking up and she was staring into the diner. When he followed her line of sight, he realized she was looking toward the couple.

  “Oh shit,” he said quietly. “Uh… don’t move, but I think Hestia knows that couple who just walked in.”

  Kaos, having not seen the newcomers because his back was to that part of the diner, turned his head toward the window to look at Hestia. His eyes widened. “Shit.”

  Padraig forced himself to sip his coffee as he texted the sheriff. He turned the phone to Kaos so he could see the message.

  At the diner. Hestia seems to know people I don’t.

  Two minutes later, a message came through. Armed?

  Not that I could see.

  Where are they sitting?

  Booth close to the back door. They won’t see you if you come in from the garage’s side.

  Good thinking. Five minutes. Don’t alert anyone. Safer that way.

  Okay.

  Leah walked to them with a coffeepot in tow. “Fill you up?”

  “Yeah, thanks. I’ll take a cup,” Kaos said brightly, and Padraig pushed his toward her as well.

  Luckily, she didn’t peer at Hestia, like she had before, and went on her way again.

  They drank their coffees in a tense silence, not looking anywhere but at the phone in between them on the table.

  We’re here.

  The front door opened, and the sheriff walked in, greeting Leah cheerily.

  Padraig kept the couple in his peripheral vision. They edged out of their booth and turned toward the back door. The sheriff unholstered his weapon quietly and walked closer to them. Leah’s eyes widened, and she moved back into the kitchen for cover. The back door opened, and Deputy Jason Goldstein stood in the doorway with his weapon drawn.

  In short order, the couple turned around and froze in their tracks.

  “Somewhere to be?” Sheriff Newman asked, and Deputy Forrest stepped inside through the front as well.

  The rest went like shown in every cop show ever, including the way the young man’s eyes widened as he looked at Padraig when they were led to the front of the diner on the way to the station to answer some questions.

  “See someone you know?” Sheriff Newman asked.

 
The guy vigorously shook his head. “No. Nobody.”

  “Funny, that. I think there’s someone right outside who recognized you from last Saturday evening.”

  “W-what?”

  The sheriff demonstrated his point by taking the guy outside and close to Kaos’s vehicle. Hestia looked like she was going to go through the side window as she raged at the man who had hurt her human.

  “I wonder if she could be a witness?” Kaos asked dryly, making Padraig laugh.

  THERE WERE things to take care of after the couple had been caught, of course. Padraig confirmed that he didn’t remember seeing anyone, as he’d been struck from an angle, but in the end, that didn’t matter. The couple weren’t the most intelligent of criminals, and the things stolen from the clinic were found in their car and at a remote cabin they’d been using as a hideaway.

  Nobody had paid attention to them in town because they simply hadn’t been there for long. They’d scoped the area beforehand—thus the circling of the clinic—on their way south, but then they’d come back to hide near Acker, and the rest was history.

  Padraig went back to work on Tuesday, despite Kaos’s protestations that he should rest more. Padraig used the day doing paperwork only, mostly so he wouldn’t make Kaos worry, but also because he really wasn’t feeling 100 percent yet. He just felt that if he didn’t go immediately, he might begin to fear the place, and while he felt a bit uneasy at first, by the time Francis arrived in town on Wednesday, it wasn’t bad anymore. Miracle in itself, as it had been only a few days by then.

  Francis arrived late in the evening, and since the next day was Valentine’s, while Padraig and Kaos were at work, he had organized a Valentine’s dinner, all romantic with candles and everything, for them. When they asked if he would join them, Francis had laughed and gone up to his room, just to reappear half an hour later in his clubbing gear. He said he was driving until he found a bar that seemed interesting, and not to wait up for him.

  Padraig and Kaos ended up having a very nice and arguably quite romantic meal, and then a bath—because, hey, Francis wasn’t there to use it—and then Padraig made love to Kaos, and they fell asleep together.