by Christina Li
“Still mates?” He stood and held out his hand.
Relieved, she stood and took his hand and shook it. Part of her didn’t want to let go. “Still mates.”
The drive back home was quiet; the only sounds the steady hum that comes from driving and the occasional odd traffic noise. Daniel prayed silently and Vanessa watched the scenery pass by, busy with her own thoughts. Even so, the silence was comfortable.
Though he had been rejected, Daniel knew that the Lord was working. At first, he’d thought he had rushed things, but it was right to tell her his story. In the end, Vanessa hadn’t rejected him, she was still dealing with her forgiving herself. He knew now what and how to pray for her, but he admitted it was difficult to have to wait, not knowing the outcome. He mused that this must be a little of how the Lord feels when He has to wait for us to come to Him.
He hoped she would confide in her grandmother or another woman at church. From experience, he knew that the path to healing would be through opening up to someone she trusted.
He worried about her safety, but he had to give that over to the Lord as well. Like it or not, he could not protect her all the time. His instinct said it all centered around that vase. Who had stolen it and how was Vanessa involved?
Chapter 15
“Vanessa, your parents are going to Skype in about ten minutes. They want to talk to you,” her grandmother said as she put her cell back into her pocket. Her grandparents, Daniel and Vanessa all lingered at the dinner table Friday evenings. It was a way to unwind after a busy week and relax, catch up, reconnect.
Daniel noticed that she didn’t seem to be altogether happy about the call, but she hid it quickly. “I’ve met your parents a couple of times,” he said.
“Yes, I’m sure you were thoroughly vetted before you moved in here,” she replied.
“Of course,” said her grandfather. “Your father ordered a full background check. Standard procedure, Vanessa-Girl.”
“Did you travel with them a lot as a child?” Daniel asked.
“No.” Her answer was short. Somehow, he had said something wrong, but wasn’t sure what.
“They wanted you to be safe, Sweetheart,” said her grandmother. “They were going into some very dangerous territory.”
“Right.”
Daniel’s muscles tensed at all the undercurrents.
“Where are they now?” he asked hoping to relieve some strain by asking a neutral question.
“I don’t know,” Vanessa replied. “Somewhere in South America.”
Mrs. Bennett opened her mouth to say something, but her cell beeped again. “Oh, it’s them. I’ll go get the computer on upstairs.”
She left the room and Mr. Bennett soon followed.
Vanessa and Daniel were left alone. “Why do I get the feeling you would rather avoid talking to your parents?” he asked.
She sighed. “You’re right. I have a really bad attitude. It’s just that I suspect my parents won’t be happy about my job situation at the moment. It’s funny, but I spent more time with my grandparents growing up than my own parents.”
“Vanessa, Dear,” her grandmother called. “Your parents want to speak with you.”
“Okay,” she called back. To Daniel, “I’d better not put it off any longer.”
Mrs. Bennett came back downstairs to clean up after dinner. Daniel got up from the table and helped her, rising dishes before putting them into the dishwasher.
Though the door upstairs was shut, they could hear raised voices. They were muffled, but Vanessa’s distress was clear. The distress on Mrs. Bennett’s face was evident as well. Finally, she excused herself and went back upstairs.
Then, Daniel heard a door slam and Vanessa ran past him out the side door. She was crying.
Vanessa sat on a stone bench along the side of an outside wall, one of her favorite spots because there wasn’t a sensor light. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. It was all another mess and she was the cause. As usual. She hadn’t heard the Lord correctly. She was nothing but a burden to her grandparents.
“Want to talk about it?” Daniel sat down next to her.
“Not really.” She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Why did he have to see her like this? It happened all too often. It had been such a roller coaster day. What a way to end it.
Then, he put something in her hand. “It’s all right. It’s a British thing.”
“So, you’re saying all British men carry around pocket handkerchiefs?”
“Not really, I made that up. My mother always embroiders several for me for Christmas. They’re quite handy.”
“Thank you,” she said and blotted her eyes some more.
She tried to hand it back, but he said, “No, keep it. I’ve lots.”
“I suppose you’re going to hand me chopsticks next?”
“What?”
“I really thought since that first night you made Chinese food, that you always kept a pair of chopsticks in your suit coat pocket.”
“Oh.” He smiled and chuckled.
“You could go back into the house.” She didn’t care that she sounded rude.
“Yes, I could.”
“So why don’t you?”
“Because the Lord told me to stay out here with you.”
“Seriously? Fine.” She scooted as far away from him as she could get without falling off.
“You could talk about it,” he said.
“I could,” she ground out.
“So why don’t you?” It was an echo of their earlier words, only reversed.
Vanessa finally exploded.
“Because I’m a nothing! I don’t matter! My parents think I’m a worthless loser and they’re right!” She knew she was shouting. It didn’t matter. “They think I shouldn’t have quit the job in California. They think I’m being a lazy freeloader. I told them I was helping Grandpa, but they were angry about that too. They said my grandparents weren’t getting any younger and that I shouldn’t take advantage of them. When I said I really couldn’t stay in LA because my pay was cut, they said I should have found a different job or taken a second job rather than this. They told me I should consider going back to school and getting a more marketable degree, perhaps in the medical field. Science or business, those are real degrees, they said. Art is ‘nice’. For ‘fun’. Not a ‘real career’. It’s not ‘marketable’. When they get back next month, they hope to find me either gainfully employed, not working for my grandfather, or back in college with a more useful degree. Why did they even bother having a child? They never wanted me.”
Daniel was quiet for a few moments after that. Then, “Did you know that your grandfather was in hospital a few months ago?”
She faced him directly. “No. Why didn’t anybody tell me?”
“Well, you were out in California, busy. They didn’t want to worry you. I offered to call, but your parents told me not to.”
She winced. “Do they think I wouldn’t want to know? My grandparents practically raised me.” Her voice was hitting a feverish pitch. Who cares? The whole world already knows I’m such a loser! I may as well quit trying to hide it. Rrrrrr!
“Yes, but you spoke to your grandparents a few times a year and your parents less than that. You saw them only at Christmas. You acted like you didn’t want to be bothered. So, they honored that.”
This knocked the wind out of her sails. She had no words to counter back. He was right. Her voice lowered, and in a somewhat repentant tone, she asked, “What was wrong with Grandpa? Is he still sick?”
“They said it was a heart attack. I was the one who found him. He had stayed home from work because he said he wasn’t feeling well. Your grandmother went off to the warehouse thinking it was a touch of the flu and she’d be back later to check on him. When I got home from classes, I discovered him on the floor in the kitchen. I called your grandmother and broke every speed limit between here and hospital. The doctor said I got him just in time.”
�
�So, is he okay now? What should I do to help? Is there anything we should watch for?”
“The doctor said he’s fine. Full recovery. Your father was very upset when he found out. They rushed to hospital the moment we called. Your grandfather had to convince them he’d be fine and that they should still leave for their next trip as planned.”
She leaned back against the wall her hands feeling the hard stone beneath her. That did explain some things. Her parents had seemed almost overprotective of her grandparents. She wished she had never been born. Then, she wouldn’t be a burden to anyone.
“Vanessa,” Daniel touched her chin, gently guiding it so he could see into her eyes. She felt like a nine-year-old, but she welcomed the attention. “Don’t kick yourself over this. You got right with the Lord and you followed His lead. He brought you back here. You weren’t wrong to come home. Your parents can’t blame you for any of this.”
“But I could have called more or e-mailed or something. How could I be so selfish?”
“Take it from someone who knows. You can’t undo the past, but you can live for the Lord and find your future.”
Vanessa nodded. She had a lot to think about.
Chapter 16
Frustrated, Daniel fought with covers all night. Telling Vanessa about her grandfather’s heart attack was supposed to help her understand her parents better. They shouldn’t have lashed out at her, but that explained their behavior. She seemed to understand that. Unfortunately, she still believed she was a burden to everyone. She didn’t see her own value at all. The sadness in her grandmother’s eyes was gone since she had come home. Vanessa lifted burdens; she didn’t add to them. She was a blessing, not a liability. Somehow, she didn’t see that.
He spent most of the night in prayer, for her protection, true reconciliation with her parents, and for a new understanding of God’s mercy and grace.
***
After seeing the police, Denny got rid of his old rental car and went to a different agency. That was a pain because he had to walk someplace and then hire a taxi. At least he had used a false identity he had gotten from Leonard.
Finally, he pulled out of another lot with the biggest, ugliest car they had. It smelled like cigarettes which didn’t help his cravings or foul mood one bit. Forget it, he’d get a pack on the way back to the hotel.
For now at least, he would stay away from Vanessa’s neighborhood. He hoped the police hadn’t seen his face. He had replaced his baseball caps with a cowboy hat. They were a little more expensive, but it made him a little more manly.
He didn’t have that gun yet. Leonard told him he’d have to wait. Something about multiple servers crashing and antivirus diagnostics, which he’d work round the clock to fix but more than likely, if there were hardware problems, he wouldn’t be up and running until Monday. Another weekend.
Oh well. He could have some fun while he waited. He’d get another fix. He deserved it after the time he had had. The vase wasn’t going anywhere and the weekends were less predictable. Who knew when everybody would be home? He hated having to sit around waiting. Maybe that pretty girl would be in that bar he had been in last weekend. She had good stuff. Clean needles. And cigarettes. Exactly the way he liked it.
***
As it happened, Saturday morning, Vanessa’s grandparents had a meeting at church and Daniel had a meeting at the college. Daniel was not happy about leaving her alone, but he didn’t have a choice. At least he hadn’t seen that odd car parked in the center lot recently. He hoped his meeting wouldn’t take too long.
“I’ll be fine,” she said, shooing everyone out the door. “I’ve got my cell in my pocket and it’s a beautiful day. Every kid in the neighborhood is outside playing. No one would try anything today with all these people around. Besides, I’ve got fifteen boxes I need to do something with.”
On his way back home, Daniel kept seeing the sadness in Vanessa’s eyes from the night before. Even that morning before he had left, it seemed she had been ‘putting on a good face’. As he pulled into the little parking lot in the center of the cul-de-sac, he nonchalantly looked up at the house. He reacted at the sight before him and nearly ran over the parking block as the vehicle careened carelessly into place.
“Oh Lord, please, no!” Daniel exclaimed out loud, shook his head, swallowed and blinked hoping he was seeing things, all in the same rush to get out of the now stalled car. He assumed the worst. Vanessa was standing at the edge of the highest point of the roof, deep in thought, arms slightly spread, morbidly looking at the hard concrete walk below. She was edging herself closer and closer to the threshold.
Hoping and praying he could get to her in time, Daniel ran full out to the garage. He pulled the door open and grabbed the extension ladder. “Lord, please don’t let her do something stupid.” He opened the ladder and slammed it against the house. Fear and anger collided in Daniel’s chest as he climbed.
What was she thinking? Could she kill herself from that height? Did she even consider what this would do to her grandparents? Finding her body like that? It was too horrible to even think about.
Finally, climbing onto the roof, he steadied himself as he stood slowly upright. It was only a few steps until he was beside her. She had positioned herself at the very edge, in a sitting position, feet dangling dangerously over the side.
“Vanessa?” His voice was hoarse and the sound barely came out. Why was she ignoring him?
Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Vanessa?”
She still didn’t respond. More agitated than ever, he edged closer to her. Why didn’t she say something? Was she so lost in her own pain she had shut out the world? What on earth had happened? His fear of heights didn’t help him either.
“Vanessa!” This time she turned brushing her hair away from her face.
When she saw him, she smiled a little. Then, she pulled out her ear buds and asked, “Daniel, what are you doing up here?”
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Why does he sound so angry? “This is a good place for thinking. I used to do it all the time as a kid. I could get out here through my window or there was a tree that I climbed, until the branches were trimmed. I noticed it had grown back and took that for a sign,” she said with a smile.
“I saw you up here and was worried.”
Cocking her head to the side, she stared up at him. “I’m not stupid enough to hurt myself. I needed to think away from everyone.”
“There’s nobody else at home. Who were you trying to get away from?” He still sounded agitated.
“I knew whoever was after me probably wouldn’t think about the roof. Nobody ever looks up.” She watched as he carefully sat down next to her. Those weren’t the best shoes to be climbing onto a roof in, but he was so handsome in his khakis and button down shirt. A breeze caught his cowlicky hair and lifted it slightly. It was probably soft and silky to the touch. “I could hide from my parents for hours when I was a kid. I didn’t do it too often because they always punished me when I came back.”
Daniel nodded, seeming to accept her answers. “It is a beautiful view.”
“Yes. I want to paint that tree line over there.” She pointed off towards one of the many nature preserves in the area. “But, I need to make sure I can get the different reds, oranges, yellows, and greens right.”
Daniel exhaled. “When I pulled into the lot and saw you inching your way to the edge of the roof, I really assumed the worst and nearly had a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry. I just needed to…think.”
Daniel rubbed his hand on the roof tiles. “Not the most comfortable place.”
She shrugged. “I don’t mind.”
“So, what were you thinking about?”
She hesitated before answering. “Did you know that the name ‘Vanessa’ means ‘worthless’?”
“What craziness are you talking?” He didn’t try to hide the incredulity in his voice.
“I found it one day on line. ‘Vanessa’ me
ans ‘worthless’. Interesting, isn’t it?”
“You are NOT worthless. Don’t you realize how special you are?” He was reaching the point of exasperation. He dearly wished he could somehow hit her over the head and knock some sense into that beautiful but obviously thick skull that resided under all those flowing locks of auburn hair. Perhaps she needed her own ‘frying pan’ experience.
“Daniel, I still think it was a mistake for me to come live with my grandparents. I’ve been thinking a lot and I’m a danger to the people I love. What if I had driven my car and had someone else with me when those brake lines had been cut? I’m a burden on my grandparents. It would be best if I went somewhere else.” She stood up then effortlessly and walked back toward the tree she had scaled to the rooftop. It looked as if she had done this thousands of times.
“Vanessa! Why are you being so stubborn?” He followed her, paused, then decided the ladder was a better option. Looking down at the ladder made him a bit queasy. Maybe the window was a better option. She reached the bottom, sensed he was waiting for something, disappeared for a few seconds, then reappeared at the window. Relieved, he walked cautiously over to the window and climbed safely into the house. He realized he was standing in her room. Embarrassed, he tried not to be nosy, but then he saw the easel sitting in the corner with a painting. It was of the Archaeological Dinner when they were all in the room eating dessert and listening to the string quartet. He even recognized himself in the picture! And there was Dr. Thomas. Oh, she would actually like this. There was an auction fundraiser coming up in a couple of weeks that this would be perfect for. All he needed to do was get a frame. This could bring in a substantial donation.
“I’m not being stubborn,” she picked up where they had left off. “I’m being honest. My parents think I need to leave. I’ll leave. It’s obvious they don’t want me here. So, I have to figure out something else. Maybe I can take out a loan.” She spoke as she exited.