by Christina Li
“You’re being ridiculous.” Daniel hastened to follow her. “Your grandparents don’t want you to leave. I don’t want you to leave.” They were at the top of the stairs.
She faced him. “Daniel, I like you. I really do, but a relationship with me is a really bad idea. I’m not a good bet.”
“Vanessa.” He grabbed her shoulders gently and faced off squarely, looking into her eyes. “I don’t bet.”
She didn’t reply.
“You obeyed the Lord in coming home. Did you tell your parents that?”
She shook her head, “but—”
He didn’t let her continue. “Your grandparents love you very much. They don’t want you to leave. The people at church love you. You’re making friends here. Don’t walk away.”
“It’s for the best, Daniel. As soon as I can scrape some money together, I’ll leave. That way I won’t be a burden to anyone.”
“Vanessa, I love you.” Did he say that out loud? So much for taking things slow.
“You haven’t known me long enough to fall in love. You can’t say that.”
He still held her shoulders, but this time there was a tenderness to the touch. “Vanessa, I haven’t ‘fallen in love’ with you, although I admit I find you quite attractive. I miss you when you are gone. I look for you when you are around. I think about you almost every waking moment. But, love isn’t only a feeling. It’s a decision. I choose you.”
“You’re crazy.” But, he could see a glimmer of hope there even as she tried to look away.
He reached his hand up slowly as if to stroke her hair, to caress her cheek. She didn’t resist. Her hand rose as if to meet his.
“Oh, Daniel, I’m home.” Mrs. Bennett called out as she came through the kitchen door carrying some groceries. “I think we’ve got enough food for tonight’s Bible study. Are you ready to teach it?”
Vanessa pulled back quickly, her cheeks red. She flitted her escape down the stairs and helped her grandmother unload. Did he say he loved her?! She must have dreamed the whole thing.
“Uh, yes. I’m doing a lesson on the Man with the Withered Hand,” he said to Mrs. Bennett as he joined them in the kitchen.
“You teach a Bible study?” asked Vanessa as she unloaded commodities into the fridge.
“Daniel’s a great teacher,” said her grandmother. “He’s the one that thought of the idea in the first place. I love having the kids over. Well, they’re really not kids.” She corrected herself. “It’s a Young Professionals Bible study, college age and up to about 35.”
“You didn’t do it last Saturday.” Vanessa spoke from the second shelf of the fridge. She had her head so far in that she could see her breath when she spoke. She became very intent on making sure the condiments on that shelf were arranged in perfect order. Twice.
“No, it’s only twice a month. Join us. I’m sure you’d enjoy it,” he said.
She had cooled down. What would be like to listen to a lesson from him? She looked at him, normal, cool, collected, British. He was simply trying to comfort her earlier, why did she keep reading into everything? She still had to go through more boxes…but they’d be there tomorrow. Why not? “I think I will.”
“Good,” said her grandfather coming through the door. “They’ll be getting here about 7:30 and they stay till we boot them out. It’s a long night, but it’s good. We’ve even had a few newcomers decide to get baptized. We called the pastor and had a baptism around midnight. That was a fun night.” Her grandfather was smiling at the memory.
“Sounds fantastic,” said Vanessa. “I can’t wait.”
Chapter 17
The group was fairly large that night, seven core members and a few guests, about ten in all. Her grandparents’ living room was crowded, but it felt cozy. Vanessa was delighted that Ivy was included in the group. She had wanted the chance to talk to her some more. Among the couples were Violet and Sam and Jesse and Guinevere. Their family friend Will Steel was also a member. Vanessa determined to take another opportunity to thank Violet for the use of her shoes. They certainly added to that unforgettable evening.
Before the Bible study everyone sat around eating and chatting. Each person had brought something to contribute. Vanessa saw at once that it was a good set-up. No one person had the burden of providing food for everyone and each person felt needed.
She also discovered that Daniel didn’t teach every time. Sam, Violet, Jesse, Guinevere, Will, also traded off. Therefore a teacher had to teach only a few times a year, no great burden on any one person as well.
“I wanted to thank you again for letting me borrow your shoes,” said Vanessa to Violet.
“Oh no problem. Did your things finally come in?” she asked.
“Yes. Finally. I still have several boxes to go through.” Of course it wasn’t worth it to unpack completely. She’d soon be removing herself as a burden.
“It’s rough to move. I hate it,” Violet replied.
“How’s your art coming?” asked Ivy, coming over to join their conversation.
“It’s coming. I finished a piece, but it’s nothing,” said Vanessa.
“Are you talking about that painting on your easel?” asked Daniel, overhearing.
Vanessa blushed. “Yes. It’s nothing like real art. Ivy, what you do is important. You work with children and you help people.”
“You should show it. It’s really good,” said Daniel.
“I’d love to see your work. It’s been such a long time and you were really good in the classes we took together,” said Ivy.
“Oh, I don’t think so.” Vanessa hoped her face wasn’t as crimson as it felt.
“Please, now you have to show us,” said Violet. “My curiosity will never be satisfied until I see it.”
“Uh…”
“She’s relentless,” said Sam. “Besides, I’d like to see it too. Violet did a fiction series that centered around art, forgeries, murders, theft, etc. I got dragged to countless art galleries. I’d never admit it to her, but I enjoyed it.”
Everyone laughed.
“Do go get it, Dear,” said her grandmother.
Unable to avoid it without seeming rude, Vanessa went upstairs to get her painting. When she came back down, she hoped they didn’t see all the flaws she did.
When she turned it around so everyone could see, there was complete silence for a few seconds. Oh boy. Was it that awful?
“That’s amazing,” said Ivy slowly, finally breaking the silence. “I mean, I knew you were good, but I didn’t know you were that good.”
“Wow,” said Sam still gazing at the scene. “That could hang with anything in those galleries.”
Daniel sat on one of the couches and grinned at her. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. Her emotions had been so muddled recently. She was supposed to be an artist. The Lord was giving more confirmation. Publically.
“Could you do something similar and render it digitally?” asked Violet.
“Sure.” She would probably need to mess with the colors once it was scanned in, but why would Violet want to know anyway?
“My cover designer is no longer available. She’s on maternity leave,” said Violet, “and I need a designer for a new series, ‘The Coffee House Murders’. Would you be interested?”
Vanessa was stunned. “What do you have in mind?”
“I want a picture similar to this, only of Mom’s Coffee House, on the cover of my next book. I love the feel of this painting with the soft oranges and the way you play with light and color. I’m planning on five to ten books in the series, depending on how sales go. Would you allow me to commission you? I think this sort of thing would be perfect. I’ll pay you well.”
“How could I refuse?” asked Vanessa.
“Great! We can talk more later, okay?” said Violet.
Vanessa went from being practically jobless to being commissioned by a best-selling author. It seemed crazy. But right.
“We should probably get started,” said Guinevere. �
�I can’t wait to hear Daniel’s lesson. He always manages to throw in some interesting archaeology.”
Now, the passionate Professor rose up in him, with a touch of the Spirit, and Daniel took charge. “I’ve been studying the story of the Man with the Withered Hand,” he said. “But let’s pray and sing first.”
They all sat around the family room, Guinevere and Jesse on the smaller couch and Violet in Grandpa’s favorite chair with Sam sitting on the floor, leaning close to her. Ivy, Daniel, and Vanessa sat on the couch with Will on the floor in front, closest to Ivy.
“Maddy couldn’t make it tonight,” said Guinevere. “She’s visiting family this weekend.”
“She’s got it tough, with her mom being so sick. We need to pray for her,” said Sam.
“Jack couldn’t make it either.” Jesse looked disappointed.
“You can’t force him to accept Jesus’ love.” Guinevere leaned against her husband. “He has been praying at the altar at church. The Lord is getting to him.”
“I know. But, I wish he wouldn’t fight it so much.”
“Let’s pray for Jack too,” said Daniel.
After the prayer, Guinevere led the music on her guitar. Ivy leaned over and said, “Guinevere can play anything with strings. She’s amazing.”
Vanessa had to agree. Guinevere had a beautiful alto voice as well. Yet, it wasn’t only the skill that touched her soul. Guinevere sang with an anointing that flowed straight into Vanessa’s heart. With her instrument and voice, she compelled people to worship. Though she led, the focus was on the Lord, not on the performance. Vanessa was sorry when it was over, yet Guinevere made her eager to hear the Word of God as they transitioned into the Bible study.
“Let’s turn in our Bibles to Luke chapter 6.” Daniel gestured to Ivy, sitting on the other side of him on the couch. “Could you read for us verses 6-10?”
“Sure, ‘And it came to pass also on another sabbath, that he entered into the synagogue and taught: and there was a man whose right hand was withered. And the scribes and Pharisees watched him, whether he would heal on the sabbath day; that they might find an accusation against him. But he knew their thoughts, and said to the man which had the withered hand, Rise up, and stand forth in the midst. And he arose and stood forth. Then said Jesus unto them, I will ask you one thing; Is it lawful on the sabbath days to do good, or to do evil? to save life, or to destroy it? And looking round about upon them all, he said unto the man, Stretch forth thy hand. And he did so: and his hand was restored whole as the other.’”
“Thank you, Ivy.” He faced the group and continued. “In ancient Hebrew culture, the right hand symbolized strength and honor. Whereas the left hand symbolized weakness and dishonor. Therefore, the fact that this man’s right hand was useless was very important at that time. When Jesus healed this man’s hand, he healed him not only physically, he healed his sense of self-worth as well. He gave him far more than a new hand. He gave him dignity in the eyes of others.
“Discouragement is probably one of the most debilitating sins there is. It’s easy to see that lying is a sin or stealing or murder. But discouragement? I heard a story in which discouragement is described as the sin with straps that a man puts on his own back. It doesn’t seem like a sin, yet it keeps the peace of God from flowing in your life. It keeps a soul from fully experiencing the joy and hope and love that our Lord freely gives. When you are discouraged, you feel as if you have no value. So, why try? Yet, that goes completely against God’s Word.
“Go to Romans 8. Sam, can you read verse 1?”
“‘There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.’”
Daniel continued. “Satan is quite sly. When he sees an opportunity, he jumps upon it. When something doesn’t go the way expected, he offers that backpack. He whispers things like, ‘You’re no good. You’ll never get it right.’ And we believe him. We pick up that backpack of discouragement and put it on. Then, we’re so weighted down that we can’t see our way out. Rather than running the race with joy, we limp along, barely walking.
“Jesus is the great ‘chin-lifter’. I love that. When I am down and discouraged, I take it to the Lord and give it to Him. He forgives and restores. He gives new hope even as He has made us a new creation. There is now, right now, absolutely no condemnation to them which are in Jesus. If you are feeling condemned, that is not of God. It is Satan trying to take you down. We all have the power to cast him out in Jesus’ name. We simply must do it.”
Everyone was silent for a few moments. Then, Sam said, “I am dealing with a situation. I have a co-worker who is obviously battling discouragement and depression, but rejects everything that may help him. He claims to be a Christian but I can’t get him to change his thinking. He seems to be stuck in a perpetual pity-party and keeps holding onto the lies floating around in his head. What can we do? I know the Word of God is quick and powerful, and will discern our thoughts and intents, transform our thinking, but how can we get it into someone else’s mind?”
“Maybe we can beat him over the head with a King James Bible?” said Jesse. Everyone laughed.
“It can be very frustrating, but knocking them cold, even with the Bible, might be counterproductive,” Daniel quipped with a wry grin, and a momentary thought of his own recent ‘frying pan’ moment. “Probably the best thing is to pray. They don’t see it as a sin. They simply feel like this is some bizarre truth that they have to live with. Pray against that spirit. Pray for their mind to be opened. The other person has to voluntarily take off that backpack, just as they voluntarily put it on. The truth still sets us free. When that person is ready to receive this truth, they’ll hear you. Then, they have to guard themselves to not put it back on!”
“I can see where it could be maddening,” said Guinevere. “Yet, I’m sure we’ve all felt discouraged at one time or another.”
“Yes. Bad things do happen,” said Daniel. “We see it in Scripture with David, Elijah, and even Solomon. ‘There is a time to mourn, a time to laugh.’ The thing is we can’t stay there. We have to deal with the emotions and fight the good fight. We have to let Jesus heal us, our hearts and our souls. He will, if we let him. Time to take the backpack off.”
Vanessa was quiet. This was a lot to take in. Was she allowing herself to remain in discouragement? What were her parents really trying to say? Should she go back to college and get a degree in nursing? As much as she would hate it, it would certainly be more ‘marketable’. But, what did Jesus want her to do with her life? Was she supposed to stay with her grandparents or not? Was she called to be an artist? What should she do?
The rest of the evening passed quickly. After the teaching portion was another time of prayer, more aimed at specific requests, various friends, and people from church. Last was Vision Time, where everyone said something that they’d like to do during the following weeks to grow closer to Jesus and become more like Him. When it came to her, Vanessa said she had some praying to do. She didn’t want to elaborate and was grateful no one pushed her.
It was after midnight when everyone started filing out. Her grandparents had both gone to bed. Vanessa sat in the kitchen her hands wrapped around a mug of hot cocoa. She loved the quiet hum of the refrigerator, the warmth from her cup, the smell of the cocoa. The Lord had ‘lifted up her chin’ through the study and the fellowship and the prayers. She felt His love and peace.
“Did you enjoy the study?” asked Daniel getting a mug off the shelf after the last guest had left. Vanessa rose to serve him, but he waved her back. “I can get it.”
Wearily, she didn’t argue. “Yes, I did enjoy it. I didn’t realize there was so much to the ‘right hand’ of a person back then. I thought it was a simple physical healing. I didn’t know about the emotional ramifications at all.”
“It’s unfortunate how people were judged back then,” he said as he sat down across from her. “But, is it so different now?”
“I s
uppose not.”
“So, have you thought more about staying?”
Vanessa smirked. He was cute when he was relentless. “Yes. I talked to Grandma while we were cleaning up and she told me she’d hunt me down and kidnap me if I tried to move out any time soon. She said my parents didn’t know about Grandpa’s new allergy to the coffee beans and I was part of God’s perfect timing. In fact, it seems that my crazy art stuff is selling more coffee! Who would have thought?”
“Crazy art stuff?” Daniel sounded confused.
“Oh, you wouldn’t know, would you? Sorry. The other night, I was so late because I was messing around with a graphics program at the office. I designed some coffee art for mugs, T-shirts, and such. Apparently, they’re selling really well and drawing more customers for Grandpa’s coffee. Crazy isn’t it?”
“You mean you’re helping your grandparents to generate more revenue?”
Vanessa sat up a little straighter. “I-I guess so.”
“So, let me get this straight, you’re uncertain as to whether or not you’re supposed to be an artist?”
“Um…”
“Vanessa, the Lord is opening doors for you. Moving to California and making a mistake doesn’t mean you aren’t called to be an artist. The Lord kept that door closed for a reason. You are meant to be here, blessing your family and your church. What Violet has asked you to do is huge. Do you realize that?”
“She spoke to me a little more before she left. She named a ridiculous sum for a commission. When I protested, she told me if I could do another like the one I made of the dinner, it would go all over the world. The print would be not only on her book, but on bookmarks, posters, flyers, etc. And that was only the beginning. She said the art itself gave her an idea for future books.” Vanessa rubbed her thumbs on the sides of her mug. “It’s humbling, actually.”
“Have you thought at all about what I said at the top of the stairs earlier?”
Again, he wouldn’t leave things alone. “Um…Do you mean about saying you loved me?” She was glad he couldn’t see her surely cardinal-colored cheeks in the soft light from above the kitchen sink. The refrigerator’s ice-maker crackled, making her jump. She tried to look around, at anything but him.