by Sarah Noffke
“You hadn’t completed the blueprints for the emotional modifier before you were abducted, correct?” Trey asks.
“I had, but they weren’t perfected and Amber was well aware of the status of the project.”
“You didn’t give them anything, did you?” Trey asks, worry in his voice.
“Well, I withstood the torture both mentally and physically, but wasn’t able to resist the powerful drugs they gave me. It made me a slave to their will.”
Color drains out of Trey’s face. “So they have the blueprints for the emotional modifier,” he says. It isn’t a question.
“They have flawed blueprints.” Aiden smiles mischievously. “The drug forced me to do as they commanded, but I was able to resist enough to botch up a few critical pieces.”
“Do you think they will be able to build it and fix the errors?”
“Honestly, I’m not certain,” Aiden says.
“Why did they have to resort to the drug? Didn’t they try to remove your protective charm?” Ren asks, irritated skepticism narrowing his eyes.
“They did, well, they thought they did.” Aiden peers down at his chest, remorse marking his features briefly. “They took my father’s dog tags which used to be my protective charm. But thanks to something I did a month ago I thwarted their plans. I had recently tested a new technology on myself, as many scientists tend to do.” He flashes us the underside of his forearm. “You see, I’d perfected an internal charm that’s embedded under the skin. I thought it was going to be pretty funny when Chase removed my dog tags and still couldn’t get into my head. Boy was I wrong.” Aiden laughs darkly. “It wasn’t funny at all. Whatever Chase wants the emotional modifier for, he wants it desperately.” Anguish wisps between Aiden’s words and echos in his breath, despite his attempts to hide it. A long burn runs down the length of his arm. It’s deep, like a branding mark made from red-hot iron.
It’s Trey who pulls my attention away from the dull aching in my chest. “I realize you faced excruciating circumstances to protect all of us. Thank you.”
Aiden waves him off. “I didn’t do anything anyone here wouldn’t have done. And I realize now that if Chase wants the emotional modifier that much then…well, whatever he wants it for can’t be good. I should have never started the project. Emotions are sacred.” For the first time all morning his eyes meet mine, a sad smile on his face. I’m suddenly short of breath, like I’ve just sprinted a long distance. Can everyone in the room hear the pulsing in my head?
“What’s done is done,” Shuman says from the back of the room, her voice so quiet it startles me. All eyes jerk in her direction. “Regret swallows broken men whole. Acceptance builds them anew.”
Trey nods before turning back to Aiden. “She’s right. We made the decisions we thought were right at the time.”
Aiden shrugs. “That’s really all that happened. The rest is blurry at best and not of much interest.”
“Thank you. It’s good to have you back. Now let’s give Dr. Livingston a chance to relax while the team tells us about their experiences in the Grotte.”
I start off the recap telling everything until after we encountered Allouette. “Trent is probably in a better position to recount this part.”
Trent revolves his gaze around the room as he describes what happened. He makes it sound more like a ghost story than a battle. “If it wasn’t for me George would be dead,” he informs us with zero humility.
I narrate our battle with the birds and how they stole Pearl’s protective charm. “I had ordered her to return, but then George came through the hole severely wounded. The plan was she would heal him and then return. I realize now that I should have sent them both back.”
“Don’t.” George cuts me off, a reassuring glint in his eyes. “Don’t doubt those decisions. I wouldn’t have been strong enough to dream travel. I was already experiencing shock.”
“So Chase now has trained birds to go after our charms?” Trey rubs his chin, thinking. “That’s bizarre and terrifying.”
“Try being in the same room with one,” I say. Then I explain the hypnosis. “When blood began seeping out of Trent’s and George’s noses I knew time was running out. And then Samara and Joseph were lost too and I was alone.” My voice falters as the memory rushes back to me, a tender knot cutting off my air supply. “I-I-I—”
“How?” Ren interrupts, sounding especially hateful. He looks at me for a long minute, then tightens his eyes. “How could you so easily look at Chase’s illusion and resist?”
“It was difficult, but still I did. I don’t know how or why,” I say.
“Hmmm.” He looks at me suspiciously.
“Yeah, well, if you don’t believe that part then leave now, because you sure as hell won’t believe what I’m going to tell you next,” I say, throwing him a vile look. Then I launch into the shortest explanation I can manage regarding the crazy wind that saved us all.
“Wow,” Joseph says. “When were you going to tell me you could control the wind?”
“Bob just told me right before we left for the Grotte. I didn’t believe him though, but when all of you were lost in that hypnotic state I didn’t really have any other options. And still, thinking back about it, maybe I can’t really control wind. Maybe it only appeared like I could,” I say, looking at the far wall. “No, it must have been another illusion,” I decide at once. “I just thought I could control the wind. I can’t. There’s—”
“It was you, Roya,” Trey interrupts. “You were the one controlling the wind.” He fingers his blue and yellow amulet, looking down at the ground in intense concentration. His turquoise eyes rise and meet mine. Somehow he looks older than even a moment ago. “Go ahead. Continue.”
I shake my head and point at Joseph. He describes the projection of Chase. “Honestly, I was kind of feeling sorry for the guy,” Joseph says at last.
“That was the point, you prat,” Ren says.
“Whatever.” Joseph dismisses his insult with a wave. “Anyway, Stark sliced him in two and then the real Chase showed up; at least we think he was the real one.”
“How about I help you figure it out?” Ren tilts his head to the side, the overhead light reflecting off his slick red hair. “Was he so attractive, Joseph, that you started to question your own sexuality?”
Joseph laughs. “Well, yeah. He was ’bout the dreamiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
“Yes, that’s Chase,” Ren says, leaning back on the wall again. “Sorry, forgot to mention that bit in training.”
Joseph rolls his eyes. “So Chase was all trying to seduce Stark, and from the looks of it he was kind of succeeding.”
“He did what?!” Trey stands suddenly, pushing his chair back with a screech.
I shoot Joseph a scowl. “He’s exaggerating.”
“I’m not. I have witnesses.” He gestures to the team.
“Joseph, this isn’t the time for jokes,” Trey says, pursing his lips, folding his arms.
“It’s not a joke. Chase actually offered to let us all go if Stark stayed.” Joseph turns and grins at me. “For a moment there I thought you were gonna take Casanova up on his offer.”
“Joseph!” I scold. “What are you talking about?” Mortification burns my cheeks.
“Don’t worry, you’re not the first gal to get tricked by a dashing, young guy.”
“It wasn’t a trick,” Samara speaks for the first time, her gaze not leaving the floor. “He thinks they’re soul mates.”
I sink into my bed, pulling my covers up over my chest, which is suddenly cold.
“Samara, are you sure?” Trey asks. “Maybe he was feeding you what he wanted you to know. Maybe—”
“She got it right,” George interrupts, bitterness lacing his tone. “Chase wants Roya. Intensely.”
What?! It can’t be true. The dream which shouldn’t be fresh anymore suddenly washes over me, Chase’s electric blue eyes swimming in my head. A shiver zips down my spine. When I look up from my fi
dgeting hands I find every eye on me.
“How long has Chase had blueprints for the emotional modifier?” Ren says to Aiden.
“A few days.”
“Is it possible that Amber could have built the emotional modifier by the time the team rescued you?”
“She could have had a prototype. It wouldn’t have worked very well.”
“And would the protective charms guard against it?” Trey asks.
“No, they wouldn’t,” Aiden says.
“What? What’s going on?” I ask, past the verge of disturbed.
“Roya, your team makes it sounds like Chase was trying to seduce you. This doesn’t reflect on you at all—but honestly, was it difficult to resist his advances?” Trey asks.
Heat rises in my head. Anything is better than staring at these faces and answering this question. “Maybe.” I gulp. “But I was tired and pressured and worried and still I was able to…resist.” The word sounds wrong in my mouth, like I don’t mean it.
“Like you were resisting something programmed in your emotions?” Aiden asks.
This conversation can’t be happening. Not like this, in front of everyone. “I don’t know.”
“Roya,” Trey says, “specifically, when you were in the Grotte how did you feel about Chase?”
My eyes flick up to Joseph’s. He’s stone, relentless to the persuasion issuing from my gaze. I need to be rescued from this line of questioning. I need help.
To my horror George says, “Roya, why don’t you tell everyone how you feel about Chase? The truth.” Embarrassment crashes down on me like a thousand bricks.
“George!” I scold.
“Just tell them. Maybe it will help,” he says.
Focusing only on my fingertips, gripped tightly around my covers, I say, “It was peculiar. I felt a strange draw to him, one I still can’t explain.”
“What?” Aiden says in an exasperated hush. “Can you describe it?”
“I just tried,” I say through clenched teeth, my eyes still fixed on the tan wool of my blanket.
“Maybe it would be more helpful if you didn’t describe the emotions,” Trey says. “Maybe it would be easier to determine whether they seemed abrupt and foreign to you.”
“I don’t know. It was all so confusing. I was trying to protect the team, guard them and I…”
“Were you possessed by an emotion?” Trey asks.
“No,” I say. “How I felt was within me.”
“And how did you feel?” Aiden asks.
I ignore him. “I wasn’t under hypnosis. I know that much.”
“I believe you,” Trey says gently. “Just tell me anything that you think will help. Anything that was odd, against your usual way.”
“Well…” I say slowly. “I was aware of the draw. Felt petrified in a weird way. I knew Chase was dangerous and also when my best opportunities were to attack him.”
“Did you attack him?” Trey asks.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want to hurt him,” I say too fast.
“Why didn’t you want to hurt him?” Trey asks, sensitivity in his voice, one I suddenly trust.
“Because I love him.” With a force that sends my head back my hand slams over my mouth. Astonishment stretches my eyes wide. I can’t believe the words I’ve just said. Meant. Faces mirror mine. A sea of surprise. Bang. Bang. Bang. A hammer beats in my chest, driving a sharp nail into my heart. “Wait, no!” I say, shaking my head forcefully. “I don’t feel that way. I don’t know where that came from.”
“Oh, fuck!” Aiden buries his head in his hands, clawing at his hair. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” he says, slapping his hands against his head with each profanity. “Now we know why Chase wanted the emotional embedder.”
Chapter Forty
“No! I’m not in love with Chase! I misspoke. I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t love him,” I say.
“Of course you don’t,” Trey says, stepping closer to me, the delicate therapist tone back in his voice. “You’ve been embedded. None of this is your fault. Chase is just trying to use you.”
A trespassing I never thought possible rips through my consciousness. Nothing I know feels real anymore. “No. No. No,” I say between hyperventilated breaths.
“Relax,” Trey says, pressing his hands down, like he’s trying to suppress my hysteria. “Chase wants you for some reason, but it’s all right. Calm down. We’ll figure it out.”
“No, this isn’t all right,” I say, stifling tears. Did I just profess love I didn’t know I had for a psychopath? In front of everyone in this room? “This isn’t happening. This has to be a mistake. He must have been testing the emotional modifier on me. I’m not the reason he wanted it.” The words I’ve threaded together out of desperation actually melt away some of the fear. Yes, I’m a part of the experiment. Not the reason. Again, just a pawn.
Trey shakes his head. “After everything the team has told me I must disagree. Chase is calculated. He doesn’t experiment.”
I hadn’t said the word experiment out loud. Masking my paranoia I study Trey, who’s regarding me with a new intensity. Did he read my thoughts? Damn, nothing is sacred anymore.
“It still doesn’t make sense,” Joseph says, breaking the staring contest between Trey and me. “Why would Chase go to all this trouble to make Stark love him?”
“Exactly. Thank you, Joseph.” I exhale, relieved to finally have an ally. “Chase didn’t even know about me until I entered the Grotte. There’s no way I’m a part of whatever evil plan he’s working toward.”
Trey’s already shaking his head before I’m done speaking. “He’s known about you for quite some time.” His hands glide through his hair once. Twice. Three times. It looks as though he’s trying to comb something foreign out of the silver strands. “I never saw this coming, but maybe I should have.”
“What?!” I say, bolting upright, a stitch assaulting my side. Joseph lays a cautious hand on me, but I swat it away. “What does that mean? How could he…And why should you have seen—”
Trey holds up his hand, cutting me off. He swings around to Ren. “I want you on this right now and full-time. Find out as much as you can and report back immediately.”
Ren stretches his arms overhead, letting out a giant yawn. “Right-o,” he says with zero enthusiasm before trotting out of the infirmary.
“What are you keeping from me?!” I demand. “Tell me what’s going on!”
“Roya,” Trey says, his voice five octaves under mine. “I’m sure this is nothing for you to be concerned with. We really need to find out more information and once we do you’ll be the first to know.” He sounds like he’s trying to talk me off of the ledge of a building. “This probably is a misunderstanding. Let’s have Ren look into it before we worry unnecessarily.” Everything about his demeanor has shifted, going from erratic to suddenly collected. My guess is he’s in cover-up mode. Telling lies must put him at ease. “Now go ahead and finish telling me what else happened in the Grotte.”
I regard him for a long minute, unconcerned for the nervous shuffling around the room. It grows with intensity as each silent second ticks by. Trey stays locked on my narrowed eyes. One minute he says he’s certain Chase is after me and the next he says it’s probably all a misunderstanding. Maybe Trey doesn’t think I’m coherent enough to keep up with his incongruities, but he’s wrong. Joseph prods me, but I don’t take my angry eyes off Trey. I want him to know I can’t be fooled. I want the room to know he’s hiding something.
“What happened next is that I stabbed Pearl,” Samara says in a tortured voice.
Shuman places a large hand on her shoulder. “You did the right thing. It was not the easy choice, but it was the right one. Soon you will see this.”
“Do not blame yourself for what you had to do,” Trey says, the artificial smoothness back in his voice. “Samara, the Head Officials, including Mae, support the decision you made. If you hadn’t taken Pearl’s life then I
’m one hundred percent sure that you all would be dead, with the exception of Roya.”
When it’s been quiet for a little while I finally nod at Joseph. He describes when the osprey swooped in and attacked Chase.
Shuman tilts her head, a new curiosity in her eyes. “When did you learn you had a spirit animal?”
“I’ve known for a while now,” he says nonchalantly. “In the Grotte, Chase was about to turn Roya into a vampire and much like she described her emotions takin’ over to create the wind, well, that’s what happened to me. When the osprey soared into the cave I knew he was there to do my bidding. I told him to attack Chase and peck his pretty little eyes out.”
“Thanks,” I say, looking at Joseph.
He fires his finger at me like a gun. “Hey, I was afraid that I wasn’t pulling my weight in this fight. I’m glad I could save the day.”
“After that there isn’t much left to tell,” I say. “We rescued Aiden, sent the team back and then Amber showed up. I guess I killed her, but it was kill or be killed and so…” I shrug indifferently, exchanging a quick look with Samara. “Then I used the modifier to throw off Allouette, who was approaching and—”
“You used the modifier?” Aiden asks in disbelief.
I scowl at him. “Yes, I was trying to buy some time.”
“Interesting,” he says, repressing a smile.
“I also used it when we got to the Grotte…so we could save you. Is that interesting too?”
“Oh, yes, terribly,” he says, a perfect example of professionalism. “And thank you.”
“What was the message you embedded in Allouette?” Trey asks.
“That I was dead,” I say coldly, finally lifting my eyes from Aiden’s. “It was just supposed to buy me some time to dream travel. I knew as soon as she arrived that she’d figure out it was a lie.”
Trey actually smiles. “That’s perfect! It might have worked!”
“What?” I look at him, confused.
“Yeah, Allouette might believe you’re dead now,” Aiden says, a new enthusiasm in his words.
I shake my head. “But once she got to the room she’d find out I wasn’t there and it was untrue.”