Stunned (The Lucidites Book 2)

by Sarah Noffke

  “Sometimes I call them Beve, but that’s only when I’m not thinking quite clearly,” I say, taking the book from him and pinning it next to my side. From my peripheral I catch his disheartened expression. Good.

  I’m grateful to find that my iPad automatically connects to the internet. The first thing I do is send Bob and Steve an email. They ping me back immediately, which fills me with an excited anticipation.

  “So is anyone up for episode three?” Aiden asks, returning to his bed.

  When I don’t answer, George says, “I think I’m good, but thanks.”

  I feel Aiden boring into me, willing me to connect with him, but I refuse. Right now I could crawl into George’s bed and he would hold me and accept me and declare our love to the Institute. But Aiden can’t do that. A part of me wants to do just that, fling myself into George’s willing arms. Then maybe Aiden would realize what’s at stake.

  “Roya?” George asks, tearing my attention from my attempts to ignore Aiden.

  “Yeah,” I say, swiveling in his direction.

  “Are you still planning on leaving the Institute? Now that the mission is over? I know it was the only reason you stayed.”

  I sense Aiden on the other side of me, soaking up this information and hungry for more.

  “I’m not certain,” I say, arranging the presents back in the box. “Joseph thinks he needs me to stay, but I’m not convinced. So many things about the Institute don’t feel natural to me. My life here is shrouded in secrets and I’m to my limit with that.”

  George nods, a thoughtful look of understanding. “I know, but I still hope you plan to stay.”

  “And I want to stay for you, and Samara, and Trent and…” I pause, pretending to think. “And…news reporting. But I still don’t know. I’m torn.”

  “Those are all good reasons,” he says, a smile in his voice.

  “What will you do?” I ask, pretending I don’t see Aiden shuffling uncomfortably in my periphery.

  “I’ll stay,” George says. “At least for a little while. I’m going to check into a few departments to see if I might be a good fit.”

  “George, any department here would be lucky to have you.”

  His eyes smile at me before they slide to my right, I’m guessing finding Aiden’s.

  ♦

  The silver tunnel greets me like an old friend. My body howls with intoxicated gratification. I’ve never enjoyed the experience of dream traveling this much. Near death makes every part of life sweeter. And also like an old friend, the trustworthy tunnel deposits me safely in exactly the right place.

  My eyes instantly squint, unaccustomed to such brightness. Sunlight. It warms me and the cobbled street under my feet. It’s been too long since I’ve felt it glow on my skin. Even one day without sunlight is too much, and I’ve almost gone four.

  Bob waves to me from a café on the other side of the street. A smile breaks across my face as I hurry in his direction. Just as I’m about to cross the street, I notice something out of the corner of my vision. Chase’s unmistakable face. It stares back at me from the darkened alleyway. Not love, but fear washes over me. I spin back around and sprint across the street, ready to protect Bob and Steve if necessary. I throw my back up against them, searching the space where Chase was a moment ago. He’s gone. Ragged breaths whistle through my chest as I scan the street occupied only by busy Middlings jostling by.

  “Roya,” Steve says cautiously. “Is everything all right?”

  “No,” I say, turning to face him. “I mean yes. It’s fine. I thought I saw…never mind.” I run my fingers through my hair. It wasn’t real. There’s no way Chase would be able to find me so quickly. I’m imagining things.

  “You’re as white as a ghost,” Bob says, peering at me sideways.

  I feign a smile. “Well, you know dream traveling washes people out.”

  He gives me a skeptical look.

  “Blood loss will also do it.” I laugh, enjoying the freedom to do so while dream traveling. “Thanks for meeting me here,” I say, hugging both of them. “I know it’s simple and plain, but I needed that right now.”

  “Roya, you’ve come a long way if you think a café in the center of Verona is plain.” Bob grins.

  “Can we walk?” I say, looking over my shoulder. “I’ve been locked in a bed for too long.”

  Bob presents me his arm. Steve does the same. I hook mine into theirs and we set off for a causal walk. How’s it I always have a guy on either side of me lately?

  In detail I tell them about most of the Grotte, with the exception of Chase. It’s bad enough that most of the Institute knows about that mortifying situation. Not telling them preserves my ego a tiny bit. And besides, it would only make them worry, and that’s not necessary.

  “I have a question for you,” I say, taking in the smell of fresh bread wafting from a corner bakery. “That note about the dream you had, Bob, did you know I could control the wind? Was that what it was about?”

  “Yes and no,” he says, earnestly. “I knew that the dream meant you were powerful.”

  “But how? We hadn’t even met yet when you had the dream,” I say.

  Bob shrugs. “How does anyone know anything?”

  I stop and stare at him, confused.

  “The universal source must have placed the information in my brain. I didn’t know at the time I had the dream or even when I wrote the letter to you that it was literally true. I thought that you would provide some balance to this tumultuous battle between the Lucidites and the Voyageurs. It has been going on for too long,” he says, irritated.

  “Really, how long?” I ask.

  “Since the beginning,” Steve chimes in.

  “Why, what’s the rub?”

  “I don’t know,” Bob says, scratching his head. “I’ve never met a Lucidite who knew.”

  “Hmmm…sounds like another Institute secret.”

  Bob shrugs again. “Whatever the cause for the rivalry, it’s produced extra strain on our society. We’re loyal to the Lucidites, but I wish that the hatchet could be buried so we didn’t always have that extra threat hanging over our heads. I was hoping you’d be a part of that change.”

  “And she still might be,” Steve says.

  “If anyone can then it will be the girl who defeated Zhuang,” Bob says with a smile.

  “And can control the wind,” Steve adds.

  The Lucidites still believe I defeated Zhuang, although Trey hasn’t been able to confirm this. Now’s not the time to burst their bubble so I simply say, “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  We continue walking until we come to the riverbank. There we find a stone bench and sit, listening to the waves gently rap against the shore.

  “Are you getting lonely being held up in the infirmary?” Steve asks.

  “No, I could actually use a little less attention.”

  He arches a curious eyebrow. “Oh?”

  “Aiden and George are also current residents of the infirmary. And relations between the three of us are…tense.”

  “Ahhh,” Bob says, like he’s realized something suddenly. “Tense like in a romantic way?” My eyes slide to the right, avoiding Bob’s impish grin. “Yep, I guessed it!” He turns to Steve and beams.

  Steve shakes his head at Bob, looking irritated. “Wait, you’re all sleeping in the same room? The three of you?”

  Bob slaps Steve on the arm. “Stop being such a prude, would you?”

  He gawks. “Bob, they could try something with her.”

  “Oh, I’m sure they probably will.” He winks at me. “If they haven’t already.”

  I flush and slide down an inch. Why did I even bring this up? Talking about Chase’s programming would be way less humiliating than this.

  “So let me get this straight,” Steve says, sitting forward, blocking Bob from my view. “The Head Scientist has a crush on you?”

  “Crush? Really, Steve?” Bob slaps him again on the arm. “They’re not kids on a playgroun
d.”

  I’m fairly certain I’ve lost the ability to speak. My voice is buried under the loads of embarrassment piling higher in my chest.

  “And there’s George too?” Bob says, giddy, his voice dripping with curiosity. “Oh, that must be tense.” Steve flashes him a look of disapproval. “Oh, come on, Steve, she’s a girl. Let her be one.”

  “I know, it’s just, look at her,” he says, waving his hand at me like I’m a mannequin in a display case. “And she’s saved the Lucidites twice, who wouldn’t be in love with her? I don’t want her getting hurt. That’s all.”

  Bob waves his hand at Steve, dismissing him. “She’s probably going to get hurt. We all do and we manage to get along fine. It’s life, don’t you remember? And it can be kind of fun too.” He gestures with his thumb at Steve. “He’s worried that they’re going to break your heart, but he forgets that’s part of the game of love.”

  Steve clears his throat. “And Bob forgets that you’re young and although wiser than most, still naïve.”

  “Well,” I say, finally finding my voice, “I appreciate the concern and the enthusiasm. Sadly, I’m actually in love with both of them, but I really don’t think I have the option of being with either. So in a way my heart has already been broken.”

  Bob takes my hand, pulling it across Steve’s lap, and pouts his bottom lip. “Oh, Roya, I’m sorry. Love is complicated and rarely is there a straightforward path to it.”

  I nod.

  “Maybe what you need is a break from them and all the demands at the Institute,” Steve says. “I know staying with two middle-aged men doesn’t sound exciting, but the offer still stands if you want to live with us.”

  “I’ve had just about enough excitement to last me awhile.” My mind flashes to Chase and my heart sputters suddenly. Yes, no excitement would be good. But then there’s his threat, which I believe. Am I safe at Bob and Steve’s? Would I be putting them in danger? Am I putting them in danger already by having contact with them? And what’s the alternative, cut off everyone in my life because I fear Chase will harm them? I spent the last sixteen years in a vacuum, devoid of real love. I’m not about to withhold my affection for the people in my life now because of some threat.

  “Well, you think about it and let us know,” Steve says, finally breaking the silence. “Bob could teach you to play the harp and I could teach you the piano, if you wanted to.”

  “That would be incredible,” I say, but my voice doesn’t reflect my excitement. Living with Bob and Steve feels like a good solution to my complicated life, but again I find myself torn. It’s becoming the overarching theme to my life. “Thank you. I’ll think about it.”

  We spend the rest of the morning bathing in the Italian sun, walking the streets, and exchanging tales. Being with them is wholesome. I imagine this is how most people feel in the company of their parents. They approve of me, validate my emotions, and make me ridiculously sentimental.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  To my relief Mae discharges me early from the infirmary. She still orders me to take it easy, but I no longer need observation. If I hadn’t dream traveled last night then I’m uncertain how I would have slept. To spend another night imprisoned between George and Aiden would probably kill me. And the cold shoulder I’ve been giving to Aiden is slowly starting to warm. If I don’t get away from him now then I’ll be back in the act, ready to be sawed in half again.

  “You done with that box, missy?” Patrick says, wheeling a cart behind him. “I’ve been asked to deliver it to your room. Apparently, you’re still too feeble to lift a finger.”

  “You know how I do.” I fold up the box and push it toward him on the bed.

  “Yeah, you got the rest of the Institute fooled, but believe me when I say I’ve got you figured out,” he says as he loads up the box and pushes it out of the infirmary.

  George and Aiden have also been released. As we all prepare to leave I sense the ever-present tension increase. I wish I could grab my stuff and go, but I feel obligated to say goodbye.

  “Roya,” George says approaching me, “are you almost done? I’ll walk with you.”

  “Not quite. I need to make sure I didn’t leave anything else behind. Can you wait?”

  He turns and appraises the clock. “I’ve got a meeting in a few minutes.”

  “Go ahead then,” I say. “I’ll see you soon.”

  Aiden’s fumbling with the cord for the television, failing multiple times to get it wound to his liking. George glances at him over his shoulder and then back to me. “I wanted to tell you that spending this time together, recovering, has been meaningful. We’ve been through so much. And more than anything—”

  A sudden crash interrupts George’s speech. I peer around him to spy Aiden retrieving the Star Wars box set of DVDs from the floor.

  “Sorry,” he says with an embarrassed wave.

  George nods and then turns back to me.

  “Anyway, I want to say more, but later,” he says, seizing my hands.

  “Okay.” I squeeze them once and pull him forward, hugging him, arms gripped around his neck. “Thanks for everything, George.”

  His hands glide up and down the length of my back, pressing me against him. When we separate there’s something different in his eyes. A warning, maybe? Worry?

  He leans forward and whispers in my ear. “You deserve the best. And I want that for you, no matter what.”

  I ease back and nod. “Thanks.”

  What does that mean? Does that mean him? Or Aiden? Or neither? Or does it even refer to my love life at all? I search George’s eyes, which always feel strangely like home to me. It’s his warmth and acceptance, like a fire on a winter’s night.

  George leans down and grazes my cheek with a kiss. “I’ll be around if you need to talk about anything.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper. He evaluates me once more, a solid look in his eyes, and then turns to leave. There’s a brief exchange of handshakes with Aiden. Neither of them looks at the other. Then George walks to the exit faster than I could manage in my current state.

  I retrieve my iPad from the bedside table. The infirmary door hasn’t even swung completely shut before Aiden throws the cables to the ground and marches over to me. “Roya, please stop being angry with me,” he says, taking the iPad out of my hands and tossing it on the bed.

  “I’m not angry at you, Aiden,” I say, staring at the letters on his T-shirt.

  “So look at me already.”

  I lift my gaze up to his. The bruises I touched a day ago have already dissolved a bit. “Happy now?”

  “No, not at all,” he says, stepping forward again until less than a foot separates us.

  “Aiden, I’m tired of being your secret. I don’t want to sneak around. It feels wrong and like I said the other night, it frustrates me that we can’t just be together.”

  “It frustrates me too,” he says, staring down at me.

  I step back, needing some space to clear my thoughts and bolster my confidence. “Well, this is your situation. I keep wondering why I’m subjecting myself to these restrictions. I don’t have a job where I have to hide my relationship. I can be with anyone I want—openly.”

  “Like George?”

  I gulp. Should have seen that coming.

  “Yes, like George.” His eyes flare with red-hot anger. “But that’s not the point I’m trying to make here,” I say, brushing past him to clear the candy wrappers which have accumulated on my tray. More than anything I need to do something with my hands which are threatening to shake. “The point is that I can’t keep this up much longer. And I shouldn’t have to.”

  Aiden places his hand on mine, bringing my attention directly to him. I let the cellophane wrappers fall back on the table. “Roya, it’s not like I want to either. I wish I could broadcast how I feel about you on the Lucidite newsfeed.”

  “That would no doubt be deemed an inappropriate use of the technology.”

  An almost imperceptible grin reach
es his eyes.

  “I’m not asking you to publicize anything about us. I’m tired of sneaking around. It cheapens this,” I say, motioning between us.

  His expression darkens. “Look, life apparently has a vendetta against me, ’cause if you were anyone else and I felt the way I do then this would be easy, we could make our relationship public. But with you, it’s not that simple.”

  “How’s this suddenly about me?”

  He laughs. He actually laughs. If I didn’t want to kiss him so badly, I might actually clock him.

  “Roya, this has always been about you.”

  I close my eyes, shake my head.

  “It’s true. When you were elected to challenge Zhuang it was made clear to everyone working at the Institute that we needed to support you in every way possible.”

  “Well, that mission is over.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Even after the Day of the Duel I’ve been required to make daily reports regarding your frequency changes.”

  “How are you doing that?”

  “I installed a recorder device in there.” He points to the frequency adjuster around my neck. I forget I’m wearing it most of the time. “It sends me your readings every half hour.”

  “Why are you measuring my frequency changes?”

  “Trey worries that the adjuster could have long-term effects on your natural frequency vibrations. Since he isn’t about to kick George out of the Institute, he’s asked me to innovate another device that will fix the problem without changing your frequency. And until then he wants me to keep an eye on the changes.”

  “That’s so weird,” I say, stretching out the last word. Not to mention totally perplexing.

  “And now there’s this whole Chase situation to deal with. I’m certain once I leave here I’ll be working nonstop to find a patch for your protective charm.”

  “Aiden, what does this have to do with you and me?”

  He snatches my hands. His grip makes my eyes widen. I have yet to feel such urgency in him. Maybe he’s desperate to express his point. Maybe he’s still off because of the drugs from the Grotte. I listen regardless.