“Yeah, sorry. Have a song stuck in my head again. You’re right, Angela. But hey, what can I say? Sometimes it takes a lot for things to sink into my stubborn head.”
Angela laughed at that. “You are one frustrating person, Masters. It’s a good thing you are so fucking talented or…”
“Or what?” he taunted.
She laughed again. “Or…I don’t know. Just go home. I have some homework to do.”
“Yeah. Me too. Talk later.” And he hugged her good-bye.
When Angela shut the door behind him, Colton stood there for a bit, pulling his thoughts together. And then he could have sworn he heard her crying. And it made him feel like hell.
He turned his phone back on as he walked home and read Lauren’s last text. It read—Colton, I hope you know I’m not expecting anything.
And then he felt like even a bigger asshole. And that’s exactly how he should feel. He could picture Lauren—her eyes. The way she’d been crying. The way they held so much emotion. The way it seemed he couldn’t do anything without causing people pain.
But she was smart, too smart. She knew not to expect anything from him. It was like she was letting him off the hook. It was like she was trying to make him feel better. That was the type of person she was. She would accept all the pain he had to dish out, but she didn’t want him to feel any pain or guilt. He hated himself. And he couldn’t find it in him to write back. He couldn’t, because what he wanted to say was not what he wanted to feel. And damn it, he couldn’t control any of it. He was feeling too damn much, and that was the problem.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The week passed quickly. Blake had to cancel class for some reason on Wednesday, so Colton and Lauren didn’t have to see each other in class. Lauren hadn’t heard from Colton again. And she didn’t run into him anywhere. She was both sad and relieved. The memory of them together seemed like an imaginary fantasy now, like it couldn’t have really happened.
As Lauren waited for her order at Starbucks in the Barnes and Noble, she heard an all-too-familiar giggle. She turned around and there was Angela. And, of course, she was with Colton. Lauren’s face grew red as she snuck off to the side, praying they wouldn’t see her but knowing they would hear her name when her latte was ready. She peeked over at them. Colton had his arm draped casually around her shoulders as they laughed and chatted. He was in loose, faded jeans, and sported a navy fleece that hugged his torso all too temptingly.
Lauren looked down at herself. She wore her favorite skinny jeans with a light, cropped cowl-neck sweater, and her favorite UGGS she realized she wore when she felt lonely or homesick for Northeast weather, regardless of the temperature. Her hair was still air-drying, and she wore no make-up. She felt tired, worn out. He looked refreshed, happy, relaxed. It wasn’t fair.
“Lauren,” the barrister announced. “Mocha Latte. Venti?”
She slunk over to retrieve her drink and then went around in the opposite direction to avoid looking at Colton and Angela, but she couldn’t help but glance back. Colton was staring directly at her. He was alone now.
Their eyes locked, and as she forced herself to look away, she crashed right into a familiar face. Her coffee went everywhere. I am such a klutz!
“Oh my god. I am so sorry. I really need to watch where I’m going.”
The boy chuckled. “My bad. Lauren, right? We met at my party a few weeks ago?”
Lauren knew she’d met him but was having trouble placing the name. “Stephanie’s friend, right?”
“Yes. One of her roommates. I’m Will.”
“Of course. How are you?”
“Pretty good. You coming tonight? To our party?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I didn’t really know about it. I know Beth said something about letting loose this weekend, but she didn’t exactly clarify where, and she’s kinda gone on the straight and narrow—or trying at least.”
“Yes. I heard that. For her sake, I hope so, or, as Stephanie tells me, she’ll be kicked out for good.”
“Yes. I hope so too.”
“But that doesn’t mean you two can’t still come to my party. You can still come and not drink alcohol.”
Lauren smiled, trying to appear pleasant, even though she wanted to get out of there. “I’m kind of waiting on a phone call about an audition too.”
“Don’t you think your phone will work at my place? I don’t live in some cave in the Middle East, Lauren.” He laughed.
“Yes. Well, that is true. I’ll think about it.” But what she really wanted to say was— I don’t want to run into Colton Masters, and the moment she had the thought, she felt Colton’s presence right behind her. Every muscle, every fiber, every nerve-ending became fine-tuned to his presence. And then…his smell, that indescribable smell she’d unlikely ever forget.
“Hey, Will,” she heard Colton say. Lauren looked around, wondering where Angela had gone to.
“What’s up, Masters? Do you remember Lauren?”
Lauren stood there uncomfortable, not knowing what to say or do. She would follow Colton’s lead, and what he said surprised her.
“Of course I do. She’s not that easy to forget. Trust me.”
Will raised an eyebrow at that comment. “Let me just get my coffee. Be right back.”
Colton wanted to pull her in his arms the minute Will walked away. He wanted to kiss her, run his fingers through her damp hair. She looked up at him, and he thought he just might pick her up like a caveman and drag her back to his place.
“How are you?” he finally asked, but Colton could see he’d need to lighten the mood, the way her eyes bore into his. “Nice UGGS,” he added, playfully.
“Oh, right. That’s right. My clothes offend you.” She sounded bitter, angry. “Where’s Angela?”
“She has to work tonight,” Colton shared. “She waitresses down the street at a restaurant. I bartend there.”
“Oh. Is that what you’ve been doing all week? Working?”
Colton ignored her tone. “I asked you a question. How are you?”
“I gotta go. Nice seeing you, Colton.”
He grabbed her arm. “Hey. Wait. I’ll walk you back.”
“Why, Colton? Why would you want to do that?”
“I just do, okay?”
“No. It’s not okay.” He heard her voice hitch, and she began to walk as fast as she could out of the store and onto the sidewalk.
“Lauren, wait!” he yelled after her, catching up to her within moments.
Lauren walked even faster. Colton half expected her to run into a full sprint.
“Lauren. Lauren, stop,” he commanded.
She stopped, winded, and on the verge of tears. “What do you want, Colton? Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why? I don’t understand. Please. I can’t…”
He wanted to draw her into his arms. He wanted to be nice. He wanted to be nice…to her. He cared about her. He knew at that moment just how much. And it was very different from the way he cared about Angela. It was new to him. It was unnerving. It was something he’d never felt before. It went beyond desire. It was much more profound than that.
“Stop, Lauren,” he whispered. “Just stop.” This time, he did go to her and pulled her against him. He never wanted to let her go.
Lauren crumbled into him, and he found himself stroking her hair. She exhaled against his chest, and he just wished he could make everything right.
She pulled away. “I can’t. I need to go home. Please. Just leave me alone, okay. I’m fine, really. I’m just shocked to see you.”
“Lauren,” he said, drawing out her name. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I’ve been an asshole. I’m sorry. Let me at least walk you home.”
“So what? So you can…do…whatever it is you do to…trick women into doing…”
“Is that right? Is that how you’re going to play it?” He let her go.
She began to walk again, and he hesitated to follow. But soon, he did.
She started to r
un, and Colton couldn’t believe it, but he followed suit, chasing right after her. Colton Masters had never chased a girl in his life. He had to laugh at the absurdity of it.
When she got to the front of her dorm, Colton caught her and pushed her against the side of the dormitory wall out of sight from others. He gazed down at her burning eyes, blue and troubled. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to devour her. He wanted to ruin her. And at the same time, he wanted to soothe her. Make her happy. Make her smile. Make her his. He had never felt such conflicting feelings before. She was panting.
“Lauren. Let me come up with you so we can talk,” he reasoned.
She was acting irrationally. She knew that. She knew who he was. She knew not to expect anything from him. She said so herself. It wasn’t fair to him. She knew it intellectually. He hadn’t tricked her into doing anything she didn’t want to do. In fact, she wanted to do much more. Why hadn’t he?
“There’s nothing to talk about, Colton. I’m overreacting. I’m sorry. I was wrong to say you tricked me. That wasn’t fair. I’m a grown adult. You never made me any promises. I knew exactly what I was doing. I’m fine, really. College just hasn't been what I expected. I’m just emotional. It’ll blow over.”
“Lauren,” he growled at her. “If not in your dorm room, let’s go talk somewhere else.”
“Colton. What’s there to talk about? Really?”
“Lots.” He drew the back of his fingers across her cheek. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”
She tried to suck in the air that he seemed to steal from her completely, and gasped. Her mouth opened slightly, as she pushed the back of her head against the cement wall, closing her eyes. It both pained and thrilled her to hear his words. She hadn’t stopped thinking about him in the slightest. But she knew if she caved into him, it would only be a matter of time before he hurt her again.
“Come back to my place. I’ll make you dinner. My roommates will be out at a party. We can talk. At least be friends.”
“Friends?” She looked up at him with a small smile. She couldn’t help it. He was so adorable.
“Yes. Friends.”
She sighed. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Colton.”
“I do. Now come on. Don’t make me carry you over my shoulder.”
“Just how far is your place?”
“A couple of miles. I’ll call us a ride.”
“Hold on,” Lauren said, her phone ringing. “I have to get this.” She held up her finger to stop him from talking and walked around the corner to take her call.
Colton watched her walk away but with a look of unease on her face that worried him.
When she came back from around the corner, her cheeks were wet with tears.
“What is it?” Colton asked.
A huge smile spread across her lips, and she spun around a little in place. “I got it! I got the part of Éponine!”
“You did? Lauren, I’m so proud of you! I’m thrilled for you. Now there’s no excuse. We’re celebrating. I’m making you dinner.”
“Hold on again.” Lauren took another phone call. She put her hand over the phone. “It’s Leslie.”
Colton watched Lauren from a short distance. She was beaming. Happy. Alive. In turn, it made him feel the same, watching her so happy. His cheeks hurt from smiling for her. This must be what love feels like.
Lauren finished her phone call and walked back over to him
“That’s it. We’re celebrating. And that’s final,” Colton said.
“Okay,” Lauren conceded, looking too giddy to say anything else.
“Okay?” Colton was asurprised but couldn’t have been happier. “So, I don’t get to haul you over my shoulder? I was kind of looking forward to it.”
Lauren couldn’t help it and let out a giggle.
“You’re awfully cute, Ms. Percy.”
“Yeah, right. That’s why you haven’t been able to stay away from me all week.” Lauren rolled her eyes.
He ran his hands through his hair. “Lauren, I’m trying to do you a favor.”
“Don’t do me any favors I don’t want.”
“Well…I’m not staying away from you right now,” he whispered.
“Yeah. I can see that.” She rubbed the palm of her hand across her forehead as if she had a headache.
Within ten minutes, they were on their way to Colton’s place to become friends.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“P.B. & J okay?” He smiled across to Lauren as she sat on a couch in his living room.
Again, she couldn’t contain her giggle.
“I’m just kidding. I can grill up some burgers on the back deck for ya.”
“I’m not really that hungry, Colton.”
“Well. I am. Can I get you something? I know you don’t like beer. I have a bottle of wine my piece-of-work mother brought me when she visited this summer. Still just sitting in my fridge.”
Lauren didn’t want to be difficult. And she could use a drink to calm her nerves. “Sure,” she conceded.
“Great. Be right back.”
Lauren looked around the apartment. It was surprisingly clean. Not what she expected. But then again, Lauren never knew what to expect when it came to Colton.
He came back with a glass of white wine for her, and a beer for himself, and sat next to her. Immediately, she could feel the energy shift, and she wished she could control her attraction to him.
He held up his beer. “To friendship.”
“Sure. To friendship.”
“Hey,” Colton scolded. “And to your role!”
“Thank you, Colton,” Lauren said, tentatively.
“I can’t wait to see it,” Colton said.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Your song in class the other day…it blew me away. You blow me away. If you haven’t noticed, I’m quite taken with you.”
Lauren was warmed by his words and took a big sip.
“How is it?”
“Well, I’m not sure. I’m not really a big drinker.” She waited for him to make some sarcastic comment.
“That’s one of the things I like about you. Trust me, you’re not missing much. I’ve seen what alcohol can do to people. They can become completely different people.”
Lauren wanted to ask more. Wanted to pry. But she hoped that he’d continue without her having to do that.
“My father for one,” Colton finally said. “It’s when I first started to really love music. I could put the earbuds in my ears and blast out his drunk-ass voice and disappear. I’d forget where I was or where I was from, and I could just…float. Just like you described with your bedroom.”
“Colton.” Lauren put her hand on his. “I understand. I understand all too well. You can trust me.”
“I guess what I’m realizing is how much more alike we are than different.”
Lauren took another sip as her heart broke for him. “And now he’s in prison?”
“Yup. Sure as hell is, and I hope he rots there.”
“You don’t see him?” Lauren remembered what Brian had told her, and she wondered if it were true or not, but she just couldn’t ask. Maybe later.
“Nope…come out on the deck by the grill with me.” He grabbed her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist, and she felt that feeling again, that belly flip-flop, that unexplainable emotion.
Lauren followed Colton out to the deck. She had that light sweater on, but she was finding the Florida night air quite chilly compared to the day. She found it funny how cold she got when the sun went down here. She wrapped her arms around her waist and finished up her glass of wine. She felt relaxed and exhaled, closing her eyes. The meat smelled delicious. She was suddenly starving.
“You sound content,” Colton said, flipping the burgers. “You cold?” He opened his arms for her. “Come here,” he said. “Let me warm you up.”
She pushed her body into the warmth of his fleece, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He kissed the top of her head. B
efore either of them knew what was happening, Lauren drew her face up to his and prayed he’d kiss her.
Colton kept his arms tightly wrapped around Lauren’s waist, and her lips parted for him to have access. He kissed her slowly, gently, teasing his tongue with hers. “You taste oaky and delicious,” he said, and Lauren’s belly flip-flopped.
With one final kiss before he pulled away, he asked, “How do you like your burger?”
With a lazy roll of her tongue, Lauren begrudgingly answered. “Medium to medium-well.” She wanted to still be kissing him.
“A little pink?”
“Yes,” she whispered, and she didn’t know why. There was no one there to hear them.
“Like your cheeks right now.” He grabbed her hand in his, pulling her back against him again.
She could feel them becoming far more than pink as she tried to hide her complete and utter draw to him, her longing to be alone in his bed, her desire to fall apart under his touch again.
“Do you always make your friends’ cheeks pink?” Lauren said, sarcastically.
“Only the ones I really, really like.”
“And orgasms too?” She slapped a hand over her mouth, wishing the words hadn’t come out. She wished she had a better filter, more control. But in Colton’s presence, it was like someone else took residence in her body.
He couldn’t help it. A huge grin spread across his face. “You been thinking about that a lot?” He teased. “Do I always give my friends orgasms?” He was having too much fun. “Hmmm. Let me see. I guess if they beg me to.”
“Oh god,” Lauren said and covered her face. “That’s not fair.”
“You were kind of begging, Lauren. I’m not complaining.” He removed her hands from her burning red face so he could see her eyes. “I kind of liked it, actually.”
“I did not beg.”
“I distinctly remember a few please Coltons somewhere in there. A couple don‘t stops.”
Teasing her and watching her face burn up was too much fun for him. He couldn’t help himself. And he liked knowing she’d been thinking about it. He certainly had been.
“Okay. Okay. Just stop. Can we just change the subject?”
Play Only For Me: (A New Adult Romance) Page 11