She fell into his arms. She was asleep before he could even text Angela. And even though he had an agonizing hard-on, he somehow found himself more content than he could ever remember being.
CHAPTER TEN
“Hey,” Colton nudged Lauren, looking at his phone. It was three-thirty pm, and he had five texts from Angela. Beth would be getting back from classes any minute. He didn’t feel like being there for her wrath or inquisition. Somehow, she liked Colton well enough for herself; but she despised him for Lauren. Smart girl. He couldn’t blame her. He knew why, and he wouldn’t disagree.
“Hmmmm.” Lauren rolled over and nuzzled her body against his.
He smiled down at the beautiful, half-naked girl lying next to him. Fuck. What have I done?
Her hair was a tangled mess that fell around her shoulders, and for the first time, he noticed a few freckles on her nose, which prompted him to kiss it. “Lauren.” He pushed her hair away from her face and smoothed it back, relishing how soft it was.
She opened her eyes, still green, glassy, sleepy. She looked right at him. He felt like she could see into his soul, the way she stared up into his eyes. “Yes, Colton?” She licked her lips.
“I’ve gotta go,” he said, not really knowing what else to do or say. Why can’t I just be a normal boy who falls in love?
But he wasn’t a normal boy. And falling in love was not in his game plan, not with his dirt-bag father’s blood running through his veins.
“Yeah,” she said. “Okay.”
“I’ll text you later, okay?”
“Okay,” she said and closed her eyes again.
Colton hoped she really was tired and not feeling hurt by him, yet again. She smelled so good. So sweet. He found himself at war within himself, wanting to touch her again, stay with her, hold her, make her moan. But he also wanted to run as far away from her as possible to save her.
He kissed the top of her forehead and snuck out of the bed, over to the door, and raced to get out of the dormitory.
As soon as he was out of the room, Lauren felt it. Unease. Tension. Even a little fear. She ran her fingers across her lips. They felt swollen, abused, and she let out a long, pained sigh. She looked down at her body, and she shivered to think what she had let him do to her. What she’d wanted him to do. What she wished he would do again and again. She couldn’t help it, and a tear escaped her eye as she quickly brushed it away and forced herself to get out of bed.
She had English and math homework, which she had planned to get done before dinner with Brian, and now she realized she’d have to cancel with him. She had a rough draft due for English the next day that she had completely ignored, too focused on her music essay and presentation.
As she was getting dressed, Beth came flying in with Stephanie. Lauren stiffened. She wondered if everyone was going to be able to tell that she just experienced her very first orgasm. Her very first orgasm with the one and only skilled Colton Masters. They were laughing and chatting, holding Dunkin Donuts coffees in their hands, and Lauren realized no one knew about her escapade except for her. She could relax.
“Hey, Lauren,” Beth said casually. Then she looked her up and down. “What’s up?” Lauren was disheveled. There was no denying it.
“I took a nap,” Lauren blurted.
“Lucky you,” Stephanie said. “Napping at my place is virtually impossible. With three roommates, there’s always someone around making a racket.”
“We’re heading to the library to do some studying. You wanna come?” Beth offered.
“Library? You? You sure?” Lauren joked.
“Yup. I’m on probation again.”
“Oh, Beth.”
“Yup. I know you don’t believe me, but I’m going to stop all the bullshit. No more partying like that, no more cutting classes, no more being stupid. I can’t work for my parents’ company. I’ll die a painful death. And this is my last chance to get a degree, or my parents are pulling me out for good.”
“Well, in a way, I’m happy for you. But I’m sorry, too, at the same time.”
“So, come with me? I need you to rub off on me!”
“Maybe. I was supposed to meet Brian for dinner in his room, but because I fell asleep, I’ll probably have to cancel. I have an essay to write, so that might be a really good idea, actually.”
“Yeah. We just saw him downstairs with Tiffany and Masters,” Beth offered. “Those two looked hot and heavy.”
“Who looked hot and heavy?” Lauren asked it before she could stop herself.
“Colton and Tiffany. Brian was telling them they weren’t allowed to do something or other. He’s kind of like an overbearing father.” Beth laughed.
“Wait. When? Just now?”
“Yeah, just now. Masters was probably trying to get her to have sex with him right there in the lobby or something,” Stephanie said, then laughed.
“Remember last year in English class when he and Angela came to class late and Tiffany went ballistic on him? Basically told the whole class they’d been together the whole night before and that he loved her and not Angela?”
Lauren felt bile rising in her throat. She really didn’t need to hear this stuff. It was bad enough she was trying to come to terms with what had just happened between the two of them.
“Oh, I remember,” Stephanie continued. “She had it bad for him. Still does. This time, though, she might actually have him by the looks of the two of them.”
“Yeah, for the moment anyway,” Beth said, and they laughed again, completely oblivious to the fact that Lauren was ready to throw up. “She is fucking gorgeous, though.”
Stephanie nodded in agreement.
Beth gathered her books and looked at Lauren carefully. “Hey. You okay? You look pale. Is that why you were napping? Do you feel okay? You sick?”
“I’m not sure. I think I’m just tired.”
“Well, come meet us at the library if you want.”
“Okay,” Lauren said.
The girls left, and Lauren sat down on the bed and then curled up into a ball.
Why would he be with Tiffany again when he told me he was only using her to get in to see me? Was he lying? Did he play every girl like this? Why would I think he might be any different with me?
Lauren heard Colton’s own words in her head—I’m not that nice.
****
Hey Brian. I need to cancel. Have to write an essay, Lauren texted when she finished her shower.
Really? Come on. Hour? Half-hour? Brian wrote back.
Lauren knew it was wrong to want to go try to get some info out of Brian about Tiffany and Colton, but if she was being honest with herself, she knew that was the only reason she was entertaining going.
K. Be there in 10.
Cool. See you then.
Lauren threw on some black, capri yoga pants, Taylor Swift red Keds, and an oversized, off-the-shoulder sweater after securing her hair in a loose bun. She liked that she could be herself with Brian, comfortable that he wouldn’t make fun of her or call her sheltered or rich or privileged or whatever other stereotypes people might have of her.
She would eat with Brian, and then start her essay, some personal narrative assignment. She was pretty sure she knew what she would write about, the day her family discovered that her sister had leukemia. It was a stand-by topic, but it always felt good when she could talk about it. It was cathartic. She needed cathartic right now. But she really wished she could write about how she was feeling about Colton, how mixed-up she was. She wondered if Colton would actually text her like he said he would. He hadn’t yet, but then again, it had only been an hour.
Why does it feel like an eternity?
Every second of that excruciating long hour, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She felt different somehow. How did he do that? What was that?
When she thought about that feeling, an indescribable wave traveled up and out her body, warmth spreading between her thighs. She had to stifle herself from actually moaning when s
he reimagined what he did to her body, her mind even. She had to stop thinking about it. She had to stop thinking about his kisses. She had to stop thinking about the way he spoke to her, the way he touched her, the way he smelled. The way he somehow seemed to care about her. She had to stop thinking about him, period. And she knew going to Brian’s was not the place to forget about Colton, because she had every intention of weaseling what he knew out of him.
“Hi, Lauren,” Brian said, opening his dorm room door. “I’m glad you changed your mind and came. Frozen pizza? Got the toaster oven.”
“You bet. That sounds great, actually.” She realized she’d skipped lunch altogether. “I’m starving.”
“Cool. What were you doing this afternoon? I knocked on your door.”
Lauren paled. Oh my god. Did he hear me? Did he hear me having my very first orgasm?
“I took a nap.”
“I thought so. I saw you come in.”
She wanted to ask who else he saw, but it was clear he had no clue that Colton Masters had been in the room with her almost taking away her virginity. Almost. Why hadn’t he? She watched Brian stuff a package of Ellio’s in the little oven. He was cute. Tall. Preppy. Short, brown hair and brown eyes. She might have found him attractive if she wasn’t constantly thinking about another boy.
“College is exhausting.”
“It sure is,” Brian agreed. “Try being an RA on top of it. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t, but I need it in order to afford staying here. I love it here.”
“Yeah?” Lauren probed. “I bet it can be difficult dealing with students who’re supposed to be your peers, but you end up kind of telling them what to do.” She knew she was trying to steer the conversation to Colton.
“Exactly.” He rolled his eyes. “Like that Colton Masters dude. He doesn’t even live in this dorm, and he seems to always be here.”
Too easy. Lauren knew it was the inch she needed to pry and couldn’t believe how she didn’t have to manipulate the conversation in any way to get them right where she wanted them to be. “Is he?”
She heard her voice crack and prayed Brian hadn’t. Did he know? Did he know he had just been in my dorm room?
“Yeah. He dates a girl on the first floor, I think. Today, she was basically trying to get naked right in the front lobby with him. She’s a beautiful girl. I don’t really understand why she feels the need to act like that. And him…he just confuses me.”
“Confuses you? How?” Lauren could feel her heart beating right out of her chest. Can he tell?
She was trying to ask casually, as if they were having small talk, but she was actually on the edge of her seat, both intrigued and petrified of what he might say.
“Yeah. Like one-on-one, he’s super cool. Smart. Seems like an okay guy. And then, I see him doing things like that, and it just makes me want to punch him right in the face. Gives every guy a bad rap. Like we’re all just put on this Earth to get laid and nothing else matters. He treats girls like shit.”
“I don’t know him much,” Lauren lied.
“Well, I guess his father’s a real asshole. He landed himself in prison, and I guess his mother used any money Colton had saved for college for his father’s defense.”
“Oh my god. Really? In prison for what?”
“I’m not sure. Something about selling drugs.”
“Holy crap.”
“Yeah, from what I heard, Colton’s the one who told the cops. And I guess his father was a real prick about it. Disowned Colton. And continues to say he’s innocent. Not sure about his mom or family. Kinda sad.”
Lauren’s stomach growled.
“Hungry?” Brian laughed.
“Yeah.” She cursed her stomach for making the topic of discussion shift. She tried to steer him back on track. “You think that Tiffany gal and he would have had sex right then? Right in the open like that if you hadn’t been around?”
“I don’t know. Probably. The guy’s got a crazy reputation.” He opened the toaster oven. “Just a few more minutes...so, you had to do some homework assignment with him? I hope he’s not your friend, Lauren.”
Lauren wouldn’t describe Colton as her friend. What would she describe him as? “Yeah. We have a class together, Music Expression.” She didn’t respond to the second part of his statement.
“Wow,” Brian said, impressed. “Freshmen don’t usually get to take that class. You must be talented.” He smiled at her, and Lauren wondered if maybe he liked her more than just friends at that moment, and it made her uncomfortable.
“No. Around here, I’m no more talented than the next.” And she meant it.
“Well, you are much too humble, Lauren. But speaking of non-humble people, I do know he is.”
“He? Is?”
“Yes. Talented. I’ve seen him play out before.”
“Really? Where?” Again, she hoped she wasn’t giving anything away. She was far too interested, and she wished she weren’t. She wished she could think of something else.
“Local bars around here. He usually does the open mic. We should go sometime. Lots of good performers. You should try it.”
“Oh, no. Not me. Not my scene. I’m more of a musical theatre kind of girl.” Damn it. Why did I just say that?
“That’s right. When do you hear about Les Mis?”
“Hopefully this weekend.”
The toaster oven beeped. “Pizza time. We should do something about that growling stomach of yours.” Brian smiled down at her. Why couldn’t I like a nice boy like Brian?
Lauren’s text went off, and her stomach flipped. Brian was too busy pulling out the pizza. She looked down.
You coming to the library?
Lauren’s heart sank. She couldn’t believe how much she wished it had been Colton. How foolish.
At Brian’s eating. Not sure.
K. We should be here for another hour or so.
“Everything okay?” Brian asked, placing the food in front of Lauren. “Coke okay?”
“Do you have any water?”
“Yeah, sure, of course.”
“You’re the best, Brian. Thank you for being such a good friend.” And she felt she didn’t deserve his kind friendship at that moment.
“You’re welcome.” He brought over the water. “You headin’ back to your dorm to do your homework after this?”
“I might. That was just Beth. They’re at the library. I can’t decide if I should go meet them.”
“Yeah. I have my proctor duty tonight after this, so I’m stuck in the dorms. If you’re around later, come visit?”
“You bet.”
They chatted about school and movies, and Brian cooked another rack of pizza.
“This is some good pizza, Chef Brian,” Lauren said.
Brian smiled. “By the way, you’re a good friend too, Lauren.”
“Thanks, Brian.”
Lauren relaxed, maybe partially forgetting about Colton even, until her text went off again.
Hey.
It was Colton, and she could feel her face flush and her whole body react, her stomach doing things that were not natural. She prayed Brian didn’t notice. She finished the last bite of her pizza.
“I should probably think about going,” Lauren said, trying to steady her nerves, her voice. She felt her hands sweating. It was only a text for god’s sake.
“Yeah. Beth again?”
“Yeah,” Lauren lied and couldn’t fathom why. She didn’t like to lie, but she knew she couldn’t tell Brian the truth. Until she figured out what was actually going on with Colton Masters, she planned to keep mum about the whole thing. She didn’t like it, but what choice did she have?
“Well, thanks for coming. You know where to find me.” He bent over and kissed Lauren’s cheek.
“Okay. Bye. Thanks for dinner. I really had a great time, as always.”
He smiled, opening the door for her. “Bye, Lauren.” Then he shut the door behind her.
She ran back to her room and immediately wro
te back to Colton, flinging herself on her bed, trying to find his smell.
Hey. She didn’t know what else to write.
She waited.
Finally—What are you doing? Colton asked.
Nothing much. Just had dinner with a friend.
A friend?
Yup. You?
Who?
Lauren faltered. Is he jealous? Or is he worried that it might be Brian and that Brian might tell me about Tiffany. She debated what to write back. Before she could, he wrote again.
Let me guess. Brian?
Yes. Why?
No reason. TTYL.
I know the reason, Lauren finally wrote.
But Lauren wouldn’t get a response, and right before she fell asleep, she wrote—I hope you know I’m not expecting anything.
*****
Colton looked down at his phone, read Lauren’s text, put it on silent, and sat on Angela’s couch, picking up his guitar. Angela was furious with him.
“You know, Colton, Tiffany is probably not the chick you want to be fooling around with after all that shit last year. She’s not all there in the head. I get her appeal and all, but really? Why would you want that kind of drama?”
Colton had made sure Brian saw him with Tiffany. His alibi needed to pan out. He could never tell Angela where he had really been. She would flip out. Tiffany was a safe cover. Angela was not intimidated by Tiffany. She knew Colton had no feelings for her. But Lauren?
Lauren was different. Colton knew it. And Angela would know it. If Colton ever admitted to being with Lauren, it would hurt Angela. And Colton didn’t want to hurt Angela. Her friendship meant the world to him. But even more, he didn’t want to hurt Lauren, and he knew that Angela might approach her. Angela had a dark side; one he did not want to expose Lauren to.
But he did not like the fact that Brian probably told Lauren or would tell her. It wasn’t what it looked like, but he was sure Brian saw it differently. And Colton knew he wasn’t being fair to Tiffany. But Colton didn’t know how to play fair. He wasn’t nice. And Lauren needed to learn that sooner rather than later, before he ruined her.
“Colton? You here?”
Play Only For Me: (A New Adult Romance) Page 10