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A Rumored Engagement

Page 20

by Lily George


  Baxter blinked, as though he was surprised by his master’s gratitude. “Of course.”

  Daniel kept his composure until his butler quit the room, and then he started to pace. Everyone would be here in a moment’s time. Paul. Susannah. Her sisters. Donaldson. He was playing host and trying to woo his fiancée, both at the same time. And what was he using to lure her? Hard work, of course.

  Daniel pressed the heel of his hand against his forehead. What could he offer Susannah beyond the myriad responsibilities and hard work that he would pile on her once she became his wife?

  He strolled to the window and gazed out over the frostbitten countryside. He would send for his mother’s jewels, for one thing. He had been telling the truth when he said that Susannah would not be impressed by mere baubles. But they were quite elegant, and as they were emeralds, would look stunning against Susannah’s fair skin and auburn hair.

  He lost himself in thought for a moment, leaning up against the window frame. Susannah’s vivid, glorious locks and those bewitching gray-green eyes...

  A flash of black caught his eye. That was his carriage. The Siddonses had arrived. And Paul wasn’t even here yet. Fashionably late, as usual. He’d have to entertain the entire clan until his friend bothered to show up. Honestly, one could smack Paul sometimes. He was probably at home, asleep even yet though ’twas early afternoon.

  He rushed from his room, landing on the bottom step just as Baxter opened the door to admit his guests.

  Susannah looked up at him as she stepped over the threshold, the hood of her cloak pushed back, her lovely hair a bright contrast to the pale porcelain planes of her face. There were dark smudges under her eyes. She was tired. Or worried. Or both. An uncertain smile broke across her rosy lips. “Good afternoon, Daniel.”

  “Susannah.” He caught her hands in his, and heedless of her sisters’ amused gazes, brushed his lips across her gloved knuckles. Then, even though he had no care beyond his fiancée, he turned to her sisters and bowed. That was respectability kicking in. Even though he wanted nothing more than to bundle Susannah off to the study and find ways to lift her sagging spirits, he must pay some attention to his other guests, as well.

  “Can we go riding now?” Becky’s face was aglow with excitement. Obviously she was too anxious to remember protocol or her manners.

  “As soon as Paul arrives,” Daniel promised with a grin. Having sisters around was so much fun. They lightened the mood—even this hallway in Goodwin, so formal and polished—came alive when graced with their presence. “Shall we have tea? My man of affairs should be arriving soon,” he added, glancing over at Susannah.

  “That sounds nice.” Susannah cast a warning glare at her sisters. “And of course, we shall amuse ourselves until Paul arrives.”

  Nan and Becky nodded, turning their eyes down toward the parquet floor, and started to remove their cloaks. Baxter stepped forward, clearing his throat. “Beg pardon, ladies, but Mr. Paul is in the stables now. One of the grooms just walked down to tell me so. He will bring the horses here, if you care to wait.”

  “Must we wait here?” Becky pleaded. “Couldn’t we walk up to the stables ourselves?”

  “Yes, I agree. After all, we have two good feet apiece,” Nan added, her tone dry as paper. “No need to stand about, waiting to be waited upon.”

  “Oh, very well. Go on.” Susannah shooed her sisters out the front door with a wave of her hands. “Baxter, would you please send the groom with them? To show them the way?”

  Nan snorted and rolled her eyes. “As if we would get lost. The stables aren’t that far from the house.”

  “For propriety’s sake, if nothing else. Baxter—has the groom left?”

  “No, Miss Siddons, he has not. I’ll send him round to show the ladies the way.” Baxter gave a slight bow and quit the threshold.

  “Now, mind you, be polite to Paul. He’s going out of his way to entertain you both,” Susannah hissed as though her tone wouldn’t reach Daniel’s ears.

  He tried to hide the smile that was threatening to break out across his face. Sisters. “And have a lovely time.” He pulled Susannah away from the threshold. “Enjoy your day.”

  The girls nodded, beaming up at him in a way that warmed his heart. Nothing, not in all his years of wandering, made him feel as affectionately welcome as those smiling faces. This must be what family was supposed to be— This was why people had families in the first place.

  He gave them a nod and a wink, and closed the door. They would be well taken care of. The girls would ride about the estate, and Paul would be at his most charming, and then they’d all have dinner together. And that meant he was free to focus all his attention on Susannah.

  “Are you all right, Susy? You look pale.” He’d never say that she looked tired. He had been around enough women to know that could be taken as an insult. “If this is too much—”

  “No, no. Don’t be silly. Just a long night.” She stifled a yawn.

  “Ah, well.” What had kept her up all night? Was she reconsidering their engagement? Best not to ask too many questions—he might find answers he’d rather not know. Instead, he would endeavor to show her how very right her decision had been. “Come into the study, my—” Was it too early to call her “dear” or “darling”? Probably so. He didn’t want to sound too forward. “My...estate manager will meet us there.” There. That was a good cover for his near mistake.

  She looked up, gazing at him with those lovely gray-green eyes that changed color depending on her mood. But she said nothing and only tucked her arm under his elbow. ’Twas the first time she had touched him deliberately since childhood. He would merely ignore the time she helped him up the stairs. This touch communicated more than care. It showed...that she was perhaps willing to be his.

  He ushered her into the study and closed the door, glancing quickly about as he guided her to the settee. Yes. Everything was in order. The fire crackled on the hearth, and not a speck of dust marred the furniture. Someone—a maid, ordered by Baxter, most like—had created a lovely arrangement of autumn crocuses and placed it on the mantel. This was Goodwin at its most gracious, and for the first time in ages, a feeling of pride filled his soul. Would Susannah like it, too?

  His future bride had stripped off her gloves and was holding her hands out to the blaze. “What a cheerful room this is. It must be quite nice for your work.”

  “Thank you. But it’s our work now.” Best to go ahead and seize the moment. “I need your help, Susannah. My estate manager has come up with some changes that will greatly increase the productivity of the farm and mill. And with that, I want to improve the lives of everyone on this place. He has some ideas of where to start with the tenants, but I want your input.”

  “Well, of course. I can share the information I gleaned from the tenants themselves, when I visited the other day.” She tossed a smile over her shoulder at him, as she might toss a blossom at his feet.

  “Yes, that’s precisely why I want your help. But not just because you spoke with the tenants. Because I value your opinion more than anyone’s.” He crossed the room and sat opposite her, forcing himself to look directly into those lovely eyes of hers. In some ways, this was as difficult to say as a declaration of love. In some ways, it was a declaration of love. “I admire all you’ve done. Keeping your family together. Starting your own shop. I want your input before I take another step.”

  She blinked rapidly, her eyelashes fanning out across her cheeks. “Of course, I will help as much as you need.”

  “I cannot do this without you. Thank you for helping me so. For agreeing to marry me. You have no idea what it means.”

  The color had risen in her cheeks, and her gaze remained fixed on the floor. “Daniel?” Her voice was soft, hesitant even.

  “Yes?” Something profound was happening between them. He held his breath, as tho
ugh by exhaling he would frighten her.

  “I need to tell you something. I—”

  At that most inopportune moment, Baxter opened the study door and ushered the estate manager in. Daniel jumped from his position in the chair, and Susannah’s head snapped up. The moment had ended. And how much had Baxter and Donaldson seen of that brief, intimate flash betwixt them?

  No matter. He was engaged to Susannah now. He could be seen with her and even be espied in a tender moment with her. He had no need of shame.

  But ’twas disappointing all the same. He almost had Susannah— She was there, with him, for that second. She was no longer demanding and thorny and disappointed.

  She had been warm and uncertain and gentle. His Susy.

  * * *

  ʼTwas a very good thing Baxter burst in when he had. Susannah had almost confessed—something—to Daniel.

  She assumed the mask of civility and graciously made the acquaintance of Daniel’s estate manager, all the while inwardly fanning herself. She hadn’t made a complete cake of herself.

  She hadn’t been certain what she was going to say. But her talk with Becky was still fresh in her mind, and she felt the need to make some sort of statement. A commitment, or a pledge, or something. Obviously, he didn’t love her and she didn’t love him. Funny how it still hurt to admit the truth of that inside. ’Twas like falling from a tree and hitting the ground—all the wind got knocked out of her.

  She could not be vulnerable to Daniel again. Nor could she confess her strange feelings to him. He admired her, he had said. Admiration was not the same as love. One admired a beautiful painting, or a statue in a garden. ’Twas a distant emotion, one that set her deliberately apart from him.

  She didn’t want to be apart from him any longer.

  Whatever was she thinking? Susannah stuffed that last honest admission down deep within and sat on it, as she sat on the settee and went over the plans for the tenants. She shut off her rebellious thoughts with a snap and gave her full attention to both men.

  “I think we should start with repairing the roofs,” Donaldson was saying. “Even though the weather is already turning foul. By winter a strong, sturdy roof will be a blessing to many of these people.”

  “Susannah, is that what the tenants mentioned when you spoke to them? What were their greatest wants?” Daniel turned his gaze upon her, his dark green eyes so somber and serious that her heart fluttered.

  “Y-yes.” Gracious, she must get her turbulent emotions well in hand. ’Twould never do for Daniel to see how very flustered she was. Besides, the tenants were depending on her. “Leaky roofs, warmer clothing—preparing for the winter is topmost in their minds.”

  “You know, if we give the southern field a rest, as we had been saying, we could use the spare farmhands to mend the roofs.” Daniel sat back in his seat, nodding. “That would be at least a dozen men. Perhaps more. We would have everything repaired within the course of a few weeks.”

  “Excellent idea, sir.” Donaldson made a few quick notes, his quill scratching across the foolscap. “That will give us enough time and enough labor to make other improvements, as well.”

  And the women. They needed to take care of the women and children, who would suffer the most from the cold. “I should like to order several bolts of wool and begin the process of making good warm clothing for the tenants, especially the women and the little ones,” she interrupted.

  “I understand that you want to help them, Miss Siddons, but we must be very careful,” Donaldson warned. “We don’t want to seem as though we are offering charity.”

  “I fail to see how offering them winter clothing is inappropriate when we are also repairing the roof over each tenant’s head.” Susannah straightened her spine and looked directly at the estate manager. “After all, one of the women there told me that, aside from a leaky roof, their biggest hardship was staying warm through the winter while wrapped in rags.”

  “Susannah is right,” Daniel interjected. “We cannot allow our people to suffer through the winter with clothing that won’t keep out the weather.” He turned again to Susannah, encouragement in his deep voice and in the level gaze of his green eyes. “How do you feel we should go about this, my Susy?”

  Her cheeks were growing hotter. He had called her his Susy. And not only that, but he was asking for her opinion, allowing her a say in a matter about which she already took ownership. “I—I don’t know,” she confessed. She really must stop allowing her emotions to run rampant over her common sense. “But I do believe that if all the women worked together, as the farmhands will to repair the roofs, then we could have everyone clothed well enough for winter, and in a hurry.”

  “By Jove, I think you’re onto something.” Daniel beamed. “A kind of sewing bee, perhaps? My mother used to have parties like that. Only, the women would work on quilts.”

  “Yes, precisely so.” She had been too little to remember Daniel’s mother, who died when they were both so young. But she was an indelible presence nonetheless. Her own parents always spoke of Daniel’s family quite highly, reserving special praise for the mistress of Goodwin.

  And in just a few short weeks, Susannah would be stepping into her shoes.

  This was all too much. Her head was dancing about in circles. Her muddled feelings for Daniel, his lavish praise for her and thoughts of his parents—why, she would faint if she couldn’t leash her own emotions. She, who had never fainted in her life.

  “Susy, are you all right?” Daniel’s voice echoed in her ears.

  “Yes, yes, quite all right.” She forced herself to look over at him. If only the world would stop spinning so. “I just had very little sleep last night. I must be tired.”

  “Donaldson, I think we have at least a path cleared for getting started.” Daniel rose, drawing their meeting to an abrupt close. “Let’s leave the south field fallow, and start instructing the men on repairing the cottage roofs. In the spring, let us look into rebuilding some of the cottages when the weather is more amenable. And we shall order the woolen cloth for the tenants’ garments without delay.”

  “Yes, sir.” The estate manager bowed. “But if I may say so, it might be better for Miss Siddons to organize the sewing. ’Tis likely to be more readily accepted, and not thought of as an act of charity, if proposed by the lady of the house.”

  “Of course.” Daniel extended his hand to her. She accepted it. So strange, her hand in his. The strength flowed from his body into hers and her dizziness abated. “You will see to it, Susannah?”

  “I will.” And she would. Goodwin Hall would be her home soon, and the tenants would be her responsibility. She would make sure that everyone could depend upon staying warm and well fed through the harsh winter months ahead.

  She stood beside her future husband, his hand, rough and strong, enveloping hers. He stood with her, when others had failed her. He asked for her help, and begged for her support, when others withdrew from her.

  The young lad who fled all responsibility and crushed her girlish dreams of rescue was gone. And in his place a man stood, a man who was accepting the responsibility of Goodwin and of marriage with strength and purpose.

  And he was asking her to join him.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Once his estate manager left them, there was really nothing or no one to whom Daniel could look for distraction. Susannah was at Goodwin for the afternoon, and she was no mere guest. This would be her home in just a matter of weeks.

  How could he spend the afternoon convincing her that she’d made the right choice?

  He could show her how well Mother’s chapel looked now that it was done. That was one improvement to the place that he had supervised all on his own, and its completion could now be a point of pride. And since she had shared this journey with him, it might be nice to show her how far her encouragement had
led.

  Daniel offered her his arm. “Would you like to come with me to see Mother’s chapel? It’s all finished, and I am rather proud of my handiwork.”

  Susannah placed her hand tentatively in the crook of his elbow. Warmth raced up his arm as she touched him, though the pressure of her fingertips was light as a feather. “Yes, thank you. That sounds lovely.”

  They strolled thus, Susannah lagging half a pace behind him as he led her through the main house and down the front porch. “I don’t know why it became so important to me to finish the job, but it did. All at once, I felt a burning need to make the place beautiful again, as Mother would want it to be.” He shrugged. “Perhaps because it was something so small and manageable. Not at all like taking on the entire estate, just a little piece of it.”

  “Or it could be that there was a deeper reason. Perhaps you needed to find a sort of spiritual center—a calm place you could claim as your own for contemplation and reflection,” Susannah added in her soft voice. “I could well understand that.”

  Funny, he hadn’t really regarded it in that light. But the void within him was filling as he finished the chapel and as he worked on the Hall. Perhaps this was what happened when a man finally recognized his home. He said nothing but pulled her arm a little closer to his side.

  They fell silent as they reached the clearing in the grove. Reverend Kirk was right. Susannah’s faith had sustained her through all her trials and tribulations. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in God. He’d never really given the matter much thought before. It was just that God was wrapped up with his dour, domineering father in a sort of traditional, hidebound package that left very little allure. And now, Susannah’s gentle friendship had opened his eyes to what faith meant.

 

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