by Munn, Vella
“No, I don’t. Jes, I’m not ready.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not.” She sounded semi-angry. “Leave it at that. What about you?”
“We’re still married.”
Unless they did something radical, they were on a course to end what they’d started on the day they’d exchanged vows. He’d stopped wearing his ring about six months ago and her finger bore no indentation.
“Yes,” she whispered. “We still are.”
Too close. He wouldn’t open that door any more than it was. “So,” he said. “You lived with your aunt for a while. I take it you have your own place now.”
“Actually, it’s a doublewide on land owned by Aunt Christina’s friend. I like being beyond the city limits.”
“You liked looking at the mountains around Kalispell.” Despite warning himself to keep his mouth shut, he didn’t. “Have you considered moving back there? You’d be closer to your folks. The city’s large enough to accommodate both of us.”
“I wasn’t running.”
Hadn’t she been?
She got up and headed toward the lake, making him wonder if this spelled the end to any and all conversations today. When she returned she was carrying several pine cones which she placed on the ground next to her chair. She sat down again.
“The doublewide isn’t in the best shape and with the winters Montana has, I’m thinking I need to make a change before the weather goes bad.”
“Is Kalispell off the table?”
“Not completely,” she said without looking at him, “Aunt Christina’s daughter moved there this spring and now she’s talking about doing the same. She teases that she’s going to kidnap me and bring me with her, but I’ve worked hard to make connections in Missoula. For one, I’d have to start over.”
Tell her. Just get it over with. “Have you reached out to any Kalispell schools?”
“No.” She ran her sandal over the ground. “I—one thing at a time. I wanted to finalize things with you first.”
“Why did that move to the top of your list?”
Again she stood. This time she wandered over to the stump he’d been sitting on earlier and took several close-ups of the black ants. “Getting divorced is hard. Complicated. At least it is for me.”
Me, too.
“All right. All right.” Her expression turned fierce. “This is crazy. Why are we putting off what we both want? Do you want me to bring the papers out here or would you prefer to read them inside?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he told her when he was standing a few feet away. “Because I’m not ready to sign them.”
Chapter Seven
Don’t do this to me.
Jes was too close, too warm, too sensual, too all-encompassing and then there were his words. Why was he making things so hard, tying her in knots?
“Why are you throwing this at me?” She demanded. “I’ve been more than fair. The house is—”
“I know. You want me to have it.”
She tried to settle her nerves with a deep breath of pine-scented air. “My lawyer said I had every right to demand a percentage, but I want to make a clean cut. I’m even paying the legal fees.”
“What were you going to get?”
“Were? Free,” she said even though she wasn’t sure she’d ever get to that point. “My intention is to walk away from our marriage with what I brought to it. Keep things as simple as possible.”
“As if it never happened?”
“Don’t say that. I’ll never forget us. And even if I could, I’m not sure I want to.”
“Why not?”
What was Jes driving at? This probing wasn’t like him. “People should learn from their mistakes. I—”
“That’s how you see me, as a mistake?”
A few minutes ago she’d felt close to this man. Now she wanted nothing more than to get today over with. “Never.” Not caring about the ants, she sat on the stump and looked up at him. “Why aren’t you going to sign?”
For a moment she thought he was going to touch her. Then it passed and she was studying a rugged man with his hands in his back pockets and his eyes half-closed to keep the sunlight and maybe her out.
“Because I brought my own papers.”
Her mouth sagged. She managed to close it but couldn’t think how to respond.
“They’re in my vehicle,” he continued. “I want you to read them, but I can give you the essence now.”
Jes wasn’t a vindictive man. He wouldn’t try to get back at her for giving up on their one-sided marriage, would he? Suddenly she wasn’t sure—about anything.
Feeling exhausted, she stood and stepped away from him. She looked around for something, anything, to take pictures of.
“Why did you think you needed to draw up your own divorce papers?” she asked with her back to him. “Maybe you don’t trust me to—”
“It isn’t that, Shyla.”
Darn him! His saying her name had always sent warmth running down her spine, and today wasn’t any different. “What is it then?” she whispered.
“I’m going to sell Silent Wheels. You’re entitled to half of the profit. That’s what the papers are about.”
She wasn’t sure her legs would support her. “What? No. Why?”
Even though she wasn’t facing him she knew he was right behind her. She wondered if his hands were still in his pockets or reaching for her. Getting ready to bring them together.
No, not together. Today was about apart.
“Why are you entitled to half?” he said. “Is that what you’re asking?”
“No. I don’t care about that. You’re selling—that’s the last thing I expected.”
Twin weights rested on her shoulders. She turned slowly, feeling his hands moving with her, anticipating and dreading what she’d see in his eyes.
“Jes.” His name threatened to close her throat. She wished there were more clouds. Maybe that way she could better read his expression. The only thing she knew was that his attention was focused on her. “Silent Wheels has been your dream for years. I can’t believe you’re considering selling it.” She paused then decided to say what was on her mind. “If there are financial problems—”
“It’s doing very well. You know I hired a firm to handle sales back when we were—anyway, that took a lot of stress off me.”
“Not all of it.”
“No. But thanks to that firm, Silent Wheels is selling well in several chain sports equipment stores. It’s been written up in a number of publications. We even got a segment on the national news.”
“I know. I saw it.” Loved seeing you and hearing your enthusiasm.
“You did? Production has gone through the roof this year. I bought land on either side of the original shop. The new facility is putting out more units than I ever imagined. This spring I hired five more people.”
Incredible as what he’d told her was, she wasn’t sure she was fully grasping it because his closeness was still distracting her. Also, he didn’t sound excited.
“You’re taking your success in stride,” she came up with. “Maybe you always had faith that Silent Wheels would take off.”
He shook his head. “Nothing’s certain in this world. We both know that.”
Yes, we do. “Why sell now?”
He groaned and let her go. He looked a little lost with his arms at his sides. The image took her back to the nights they’d lain together and discussed whether he was doing the right thing. Was he crazy to think he could run a business? Would the public want his product? No matter that her stomach had been tied in knots and her heart had raced, her response had always been the same. Silent Wheels was the right concept at the right time and he was the only person who could make it work.
Every morning she’d sent him off with hugs, kisses, and a smile to hide her fear, not of his ability but because so much was beyond his control. She hated seeing him carrying the entire weight of creating something from nothing but he would ne
ver be satisfied unless he tried.
“I don’t feel the same about the business as I once did,” he said with his arms still dangling and his attention now on the ground.
“Because of me?”
“Your absence is part of it but I’ve changed. Run out of steam. Burned out.”
He hadn’t given her enough but she wouldn’t push. She needed him to offer. “Did the killer hours catch up with you?”
“Yes. Finally.”
“You’ve thrown a lot at me Do I have to look at the papers right now?”
“No as long as the same holds for me. I don’t think either of us wants today to be ugly. What difference will a few more hours make?”
More hours in his presence? “None,” she said.
“Good because I want to spend the night—at the lodge of course.”
“Oh. Hopefully there’s a vacancy. Maybe you should call and—”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“No. I just—I’m sorry. You don’t need me telling you what to do.”
He shook his head. “That was never your way. You let me sink or swim.”
“Is that how you saw it?”
“It doesn’t matter. Look, how about we dangle our feet in the lake?”
He was avoiding her question, taking them back into safe territory. Grateful for it, she walked beside him as they returned to Lake Serene. She sat on the dock, took off her sandals, and eased her feet into the lake. Cool as it was, she wouldn’t want to swim but getting wet up to her calves was invigorating. He rolled up his pants legs then sat near her and removed his tennis shoes and socks. His feet made little sound as he lowered them into the water.
“There.” He smiled. “I’m glad I thought of this.”
“You can be brilliant at times.” Keep it light. “Remember when we moved in together and had too much furniture? We couldn’t decide which to get rid of.”
“Then we read about the family whose house had burned down. I suggested we donate everything we didn’t absolutely need to them.”
She smiled. “We got a little carried away and wound up having to buy new towels. I was delighted when you included that awful painting your sister had gotten you as a gag gift.”
The corners of his mouth lifted. “I was afraid I’d be stuck with it for the rest of my life or we’d spend our birthdays giving it to each other.”
“I envied you. I still do. Having siblings—I always wanted them.”
“I know you did.”
“How does life get so serious?” she asked. “Why can’t there be more gag gifts, peanut stealing birds, and having most of a lake to oneself?”
“I don’t know. All right, other than your own private lake what would you like most from life?”
“That’s a hard one.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
He wouldn’t be pushing if he didn’t want an answer. “To be able to do more nature photography. To have truly warm snow boots. Hair that fixed itself would be great and I wouldn’t mind clothes that folded and put themselves away.”
“Don’t you want them to climb into the washing machine?”
They’d once had conversations like this. If the world was theirs to control, cars would never need repairs, showers would instantly produce hot water, and refrigerators would refill themselves.
“Good point,” she said. “What’s at the top of your list?”
“Whipped cream.”
She’d once wound ribbon around a can of whipped cream and taped the cap so he had to use a knife to get to his favorite treat. “Do you still keep a can in the refrigerator?”
“I’m not—there might be one but I’m not sure it’s still good.”
“Your tastes have changed?”
“Some. I just said what I did to see how you’d react.”
They’d once had fun together, simple and wonderful fun. Incredible sex. Where had it gone? “The secrets we keep,” she muttered.
“It wasn’t that. I just—”
“I understand. Jes, you don’t have to talk about your decision to sell if you don’t want to, but I’d like to know.”
He nodded. Their fingers were only inches apart, their feet capable of touching each other. “I hadn’t put it up for sale, but it was at the back of my mind. There’d been a lot of activity right after the national news segment aired, but things had started to settle down. We were still getting lots of orders. I hired a manager to take over some of what I used to do. Once I could see beyond the end of my nose, I toyed with the idea of devoting my free time to exploring ways to diversify.”
“Such as?”
“Using solar to power drones.”
“Oh. That sounds exciting.”
“If the concept was going to work, I’d have to secure the patents before larger companies did.”
“Patents were far from your favorite aspect of the business.”
“But they’re vital. I just wasn’t sure that’s how I wanted to spend the spare time I’d worked so hard for. I was worn out.”
He was getting at something that was important to him. She just had to wait for him to share with her, if he was going to. Would the decision-making have been easier if she’d been there and what would have been her advice?
“The question of whether I’d consider selling Silent Wheels came from a group of investors. When I said I was willing to listen, they sent a team to examine the operation. For a few weeks after I didn’t hear anything.” He kicked, sending water over their knees. “Then they sent me an offer. I nearly called you then but...”
“I wish you had. Hopefully you had someone to talk to.”
“My lawyer.”
Not his wife or a close friend but someone he paid. “What did he advise?”
“That it was a straightforward offer. As for whether it was a decent price that was for me to decide.”
By yourself. “Which you’ve done.”
“Yes.”
He hadn’t looked at her since they’d sat down, but now he did. He’d been waiting all afternoon to drop his news on her, putting up with her insistence on taking pictures while giving what she was doing only a small part of his attention.
“Shyla after we’re done splitting the proceeds, we’ll both be millionaires.”
Doesn’t compute. Can’t wrap my mind around this. “Oh.”
“Just oh?” he asked as he captured her fingers and drew her hand toward his thigh. “Maybe it’s different for you because of your parents’ estate.”
“Don’t.” She wanted to pull free. At the same time she needed the contact to continue.
“Don’t what?”
Didn’t he understand? “You’re focusing on the difference between our families’ finances. Yes, my parents are well off, but that’s their money, not mine.”
Instead of asking if he was picking a fight, she studied the droplets sliding down her calf from when he’d splashed her.
“A million plus dollars for you,” he said. “An unexpected benefit from having supported me.”
“Is that it? You want to make me admit you were worth the investment?”
“You wouldn’t have to work.”
“Neither would you. What are you going to do with yourself other than get some long overdue sleep? It doesn’t sound as if you’re all that interested in solar powered drones.”
He swung his legs back and forth, dragging his feet through the water. Fascinated by how his thigh muscles were working and the impact on her libido, she did the same. With every sweep, her desire to share her body with his grew, to go back to when everything had been good and simple between them.
A year hadn’t been long enough after all. She wasn’t over him after all.
“You remember the field behind the factory?” he asked.
“That was where we were going to house our champion thoroughbreds.”
His chuckle turned her toward him. “We were a little unclear how we’d find and afford the next triple-crown winner but w
e knew we’d need a barn and corral.”
“There was also a little matter of not having a clue how to train a race horse.”
“The field is part of what I bought.”
Talk to me. Let your words swirl around me. Give me more.
“Shyla, instead of selling the field as part of giving up ownership of Silent Wheels, I’m going to keep it.”
“And use it for what?”
He started swinging his legs again and she withdrew her hand from his thigh. He had an erection. That’s all it took for her core to heat. The cabin included two small bedrooms, each with a queen-size bed. They would probably regret having sex but she didn’t care.
“Not long after you and I split up, the alternative high school asked me to consider letting a couple of their students apprentice at Silent Wheels. Once I met with the two they had in mind it was a no brainer.”
She’d heard nothing about this. It hurt but she was the one who’d pulled out of his life. “How is it working?”
“Good.” He studied the lake then again focused on her. “At first I had them doing basic stuff like sweeping floors and polishing the bikes before they left the factory, but over time I’ve given them more responsibility. Trever really gets it. Harnessing solar power fascinates him. Cole’s more interested in seeing how fast the bikes will go.”
Jes’s eyes were shining and excitement filled his voice. Just the way he spoke the boys’ names told her they were important to him. This was the Jes of old, the one she’d fallen in love with. Different from the tired and stressed person he’d become.
“Has their enthusiasm transferred to other things? Maybe their grades have improved.”
“They’re no longer in danger of flunking.”
“That’s good.”
“After a rocky start while they were deciding whether I could be trusted, neither boy has missed a day of work. Their school attendance is nearly perfect.”
She hadn’t seen him so engaged since he’d sold his first solar powered bicycle. “Will the group that’s buying Silent Wheels continue to let the boys work there? They’d be disappointed if suddenly they don’t have jobs. They might believe you abandoned them.”
“I’d never do that.”
Oh, Jes, I understand. Maybe more than you do. “Why won’t you?” she pressed.