A Husband In Her Eyes

by Karen Rose Smith

  “Yes, it was. But it took about nine months until my eyes healed enough so I could have the procedure. It was hard to cope. My friend Barbara invited me to stay with her and her family. I don’t know what I would have done without them. I couldn’t see and they were so patient with me, so helpful without treating me like an invalid. Even after the operation it took a long time to get my sight back.”

  “But you did.”

  “Yes.” Then she said the words that had to be said, the words that would change everything. “I got my sight back because of your wife.”

  Her statement reverberated in the room until Zack broke the heavy silence. “Sherry was an organ donor.”

  “Yes.” She wished she could leave it at that. She wished she could just tell him she’d come to thank him…to thank Sherry in a way. Yet she couldn’t. She had to be completely honest with him. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, though.”

  She couldn’t read Zack’s expression when he asked neutrally, “Aren’t the files of organ donors and recipients kept confidential?”

  “Yes. And I never would have tried to find the donor except I had to.”

  Now he shifted away from her. “Why did you have to?”

  How could she explain this so he’d understand? She still didn’t understand. So she simply related what had happened. “Immediately after surgery I began having dreams. I heard a woman’s voice, but I couldn’t understand what she was saying to me. And there was always a man in the dreams.” She paused and then went on, “That man was you.”

  Now he was staring at her as if she had lost her mind in the explosion, too. “How could I be in your dreams when you’d never met me?”

  “I didn’t know. I didn’t know who you were. I didn’t understand what was happening. But the dreams kept recurring, and I had these feelings and yearnings that I didn’t understand, either. They didn’t feel like mine.”

  His eyes narrowed and his brow creased. “This sounds like some sort of plot for a grade B movie.”

  “It was no movie, Zack,” she quietly assured him. “I couldn’t sleep at night, was upset during the day. I had my eyesight back but I wasn’t at peace. I had to find out what it was all about. So I hired a private investigator and he found out Sherry was my donor. He gave me information about you, too. That’s how I knew you needed an interior decorator. Through it all, it seemed as if someone was leading me…as if I were on a mission.”

  “A mission to do what?” he exploded.

  “I don’t know. I’m still not sure. But when I met you I knew you were the man I’d seen in my dreams.”

  Now he was shaking his head with disbelief. “How do you expect me to believe any of this?”

  “Because I’m telling you it’s so.”

  With the certainty in her voice, his gaze met hers and he studied her for long moments. Wariness replaced his disbelief. “You came here under false pretenses to do what? Replace the family you’d lost?”

  Her throat tightened again, but she managed, “Nothing can replace the family I lost. And I didn’t come here under false pretenses. You needed a decorator.”

  “Not one with ulterior motives. What do you want from me?”

  How intricately complicated that question was. “I believe I was led here, Zack. By Sherry. I don’t know why. Maybe because I can give you and Amy something you need.”

  “Oh, you can give me something I need, all right.” His eyes raked her from her tear-stained face to her flat shoes. “You’ve almost proved that more than once. But after this cockamamie story you’ve told me…” His voice had gone cold, his eyes hard.

  She protested, “It’s the truth!”

  “It’s the truth according to you. I believed who you said you were. Now I don’t know what you are, and to think I let you get close to my daughter—”

  Hurt, she slid away from him…from his disbelief. “I would never hurt Amy. I’ve come to care for her…deeply. I care about you, too. Don’t you see this wasn’t just some whim of mine? The dreams—”

  He raked his hand through his hair. “Dreams mean nothing. As far as you believing I was in them…You probably saw a shadow and then when you saw me, you wanted to believe I was the man in your dreams. This is real life, Melanie, but I don’t think you have a good grip on it.”

  The way Zack was looking at her made tears come to her eyes again. They welled up, and before they spilled over she looked away. This was too much for Zack to absorb at one time, too much to absorb with her here. “I understand that this is a lot for you to take in, and I know it must all sound fantastic. But I came here because I felt there was something Sherry wanted me to tell you. I still don’t know what that is. Whatever it is, maybe you can help me figure it out.”

  At that, Zack’s face became even stonier, and she knew he wasn’t in the mood to listen to any more tonight…maybe not anytime soon. She made a decision. “I think it would be better if I leave. I can stay at the motel in Cool Ridge and then look for a place in Santa Rosa over the weekend.”

  Silent, he stared out the huge picture window into the night as if searching for the truth about her. When he didn’t respond, she stood and went to her bedroom.

  Tears were too close to the surface tonight, and Melanie did her best to keep them at bay as she pulled her suitcase from her closet and laid it on the bed. She was methodically filling it with the clothes in the dresser drawers when Amy came toddling in, moving much faster than usual. Melanie was afraid Amy was running so fast she’d fall.

  The little girl came over to her and wrapped her arms around Melanie’s legs. “Mellie, Mellie. Cookies. Nighty-night.”

  Amy wanted Melanie to put her to bed, that was obvious. Tears openly flowing now, she didn’t know what to do.

  When Zack followed Amy into Melanie’s room, he stopped in his tracks. Melanie’s tears and what she’d been through tore at him. He watched as she picked up Amy and held the little girl as if she were the most precious child in the world. He didn’t know what to think of her wild story and her motives, but it was obvious she cared for his daughter. Spending Christmas with Amy could give her back some of what she’d lost with her own child.

  But what if she was crazy?

  He took a deep breath. After practically living with her all these weeks, he knew she wasn’t crazy. Misguided maybe. On a mission that might have nothing to do with him but rather with her own loss. After everything she’d done for him and Amy and his offices, he couldn’t deprive her of spending Christmas with his daughter.

  Crossing to them, he said, “It’ll be a little difficult to put out cookies and milk for Santa if you’re in Cool Ridge or Santa Rosa. Besides, you’ve a lot of work to do to get ready for the grand opening. It would be inconvenient for you to find your own place before then.”

  At his words there was so much hope in Melanie’s eyes he had to dispel it. “I don’t believe your dreams are anything more than your way of coping with loss. As long as we’re clear on that, there’s no reason why you can’t finish my project, is there?”

  She hesitated only a moment, “No. No reason. But Zack—the ski trip. Do you want me to stay here while you go?”

  “That trip is your Christmas bonus, Melanie. I don’t renege. You’ll have your own chalet. There’s no reason why we can’t ski and enjoy a few days away.”

  “I was afraid to tell you all of this when I first came.”

  With good reason, he thought. “If you had, I wouldn’t have given you the job.”

  Then he took Amy from Melanie’s arms. “Let’s go see if we have anything to use to decorate that Christmas tree.”

  When he left Melanie’s room with his daughter, he was more unsettled than he’d ever been in his life.

  Chapter Ten

  Ten days later Melanie waited for Zack at the top of the ski run, knowing her time with him was running out, and not knowing what to do about it. He still looked at her with the same intensity. Chemistry still sparkled between them. But there was a wariness i
n him now. He’d kept his distance since the night she’d told him everything, and she hadn’t mentioned her dreams again. He thought they were a product of the trauma she’d gone through, and she supposed that was better than having him think she was crazy.

  They’d spent Christmas together, with Flo and Amy acting as buffers. Ted had come over and had given her odd looks, as if he’d known something was wrong. Yet he hadn’t asked her, and she didn’t know if he’d mentioned the obvious tension to Zack. He and his dad seemed more comfortable with each other now. She didn’t know what had caused the change, but she was glad of it. Any and all bonds were precious. She knew they could be severed from one day to the next.

  Now as Zack joined her again at the top of the intermediate ski run, she admired how gracefully he moved on his skis, how handsome and strong and athletic he looked in his black ski suit with its jagged yellow streak on the sleeves. Though he was an expert skier, they’d spent the morning on the milder slopes, and she’d gotten her confidence back. Zack had told her he’d skied this run often over the years and it matched her level of skill. She suspected it was easy for him.

  As he skied toward her, she thought about last night as she’d sat in her chalet alone…and gone to bed alone. She’d prayed for a miracle. Not an open-the-sky-and-see-an-angel kind of miracle, but just something—something that would make Zack realize what they had between them, something that would make him realize he could move on, something that would encourage him to believe in her and what she felt.

  As he stopped beside her, ski poles poised, he gave her one of those friendly smiles that didn’t reach his eyes. “Ready?”

  She nodded, letting him take the lead as she had all morning, letting him show her the way.

  The sun had slipped behind a cloud, and as Melanie concentrated on the downward slope before her, she caught a glimpse of Zack approaching a stand of pines. Suddenly, like a movie playing in front of her eyes, she knew right before he swerved away from the trees that his skis would skid on a patch of unseen ice and he’d forcefully slam into one of those pines. She couldn’t let that happen.

  Picking up speed, she called after him, “Zack! Zack, stop! There’s ice over there. You’ll hit it and run into the tree.”

  She didn’t know if he’d heard what she said, but he slid to a sudden stop about twenty yards from the pines and waited until she caught up. “What did you say?”

  This knowing or vision was like her dreams—insubstantial, seemingly fantastic. Still, she knew what she’d felt and “seen.” She pointed to an area by the trees. “Over there. There’s ice. I saw you hitting it and running into the tree.”

  Pushing his goggles on top of his head, he just stared at her, stunned.

  “Zack, I know you said not to tell you anything else. I know this doesn’t seem real. But I saw it happening. I couldn’t let you just—”

  “It did happen,” he said gruffly.

  His words caught her by surprise. “What?”

  “It did happen. Three years ago. I slid, ran into that tree, and broke my leg. You’ve got to tell me the truth about this, Melanie. Did you find out about that? Did Pop tell you? Your private investigator?”

  “No one told me. I saw it happening. I didn’t realize it was in the past. I didn’t realize it was Sherry’s memory…until now.”

  His cheeks had been ruddy from the sun and the wind, but now he looked ashen, shell-shocked, as if his world had been shaken to its core. She knew that feeling well.

  “Zack, I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’ve had Sherry’s memories before. When we went to San Francisco, behind the restaurant, remember? You told me that was the last place you and Sherry had been happy. That wasn’t true. She was always happy with you. She just wanted you to realize how much her career meant to her.”

  “Melanie, stop.”

  “I can’t, Zack. You have to know. Then that day at your dad’s with the Christmas lights. Sherry knew you put blue lights in the middle and white on the sides. I didn’t. It just came out before I even thought about it. Don’t you see? There’s something you need to settle, something you’re not at peace about because she isn’t, either.”

  As the cold wind swept by them, his words seemed even colder. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

  His attitude was breaking her heart. “No, I don’t. But I think you do. If you just talk to me about it—”

  “Talk to you about what?” he cut in. “Talk to you as if you were my wife? I don’t think so. I can’t believe something so bizarre, and I’m still not sure any of it’s true. Maybe it’s just one big hoax you’re trying to pull.”

  His accusation lanced deeper than anything he’d said before when he’d simply thought she was misguided. “Why would I do that?” she managed.

  “I don’t know. That’s what I have to try to figure out. Let’s finish this run and get back to the chalet.” Then he pushed his ski poles into the snow and took off—away from her and everything he didn’t want to face.

  The day after Melanie returned with Zack and Amy and Flo from the ski vacation, she checked Zack’s headquarters to make sure everything was the way it was supposed to be. The last of the furniture had been moved in.

  Since they’d returned from Winter Haven, Zack had hardly spoken to her. Every time their gazes met, she knew what he thought of her. Last night it had hurt so much she’d decided to move out of the penthouse as soon as possible. If she couldn’t find an apartment today, she’d move to a motel.

  Her mind was spinning as she drove to Santa Rosa—the Apartment for Rent page of the newspaper beside her. The day was as gray as her emotions. She and Zack had hardly seen each other the last two days of their vacation. He’d come in from the slopes yesterday while she was playing with Amy and had barely been civil. He obviously believed she had some grand scheme up her sleeve, that she wanted to marry him to replace the family she’d lost or maybe simply marry him because he was well-to-do. She didn’t know how to convince him otherwise, and the best thing for all of them was for her to move out.

  Over the next two hours as she examined apartments, she realized she hadn’t yet decorated the penthouse for Zack. It was just as well. He wouldn’t want reminders of her anywhere around.

  The third apartment she looked at she liked. It was even available immediately if she wanted it. The tenant had moved out before the holidays, and management had had it cleaned. It was in immaculate condition. Melanie knew it was best if she took it today. She wrote out a check and gave it to the manager.

  Fifteen minutes later she drove through Santa Rosa, still preoccupied with Zack and Amy and everything she’d be leaving. She couldn’t stem the flow of tears again. She’d cried more in the past two weeks than she had after the fire. Had all of this been for nothing? She couldn’t believe that. She couldn’t let it end like this. Sherry Morgan wanted something from her, and Zack needed whatever it was.

  Instead of taking the road that led to Cool Ridge and Zack’s headquarters, Melanie turned down a main street and then a series of side streets heading for Ted Morgan’s house. She had an idea and maybe he could help her.

  The sky had become even grayer by the time Ted answered his door. He took one look at her face and ushered her inside. “What’s going on, Melanie?”

  “It’s very complicated, but I need the answers to some questions and I thought you could help. Zack won’t.”

  “All right. Shoot.”

  “Do you know what happened the night of Sherry’s accident?”

  After a considering moment, Ted shook his head. “No. Zack never talks about it.”

  Melanie felt stalled before she got started, but one way or another, she was going to find out what had happened. “Can you tell me where it happened?”

  Looking puzzled, Ted asked, “Why do you want to know?”

  “Just tell me, Ted, please.”

  “From what I understand, it happened on a road outside of Cool Ridge. It’s a shortcut to Zack’s
new headquarters. He was in the site trailer, working late.”

  “Tell me exactly where it happened.”

  Seeing her determination, Ted gave her a few landmarks.

  “Thanks, Ted.” She went to the door.

  “That’s it? You’re not going to stay and have a cup of tea with me?” He seemed concerned, and she wished she could tell him not to be.

  “No tea today. There are a few things I have to do. Maybe another time.”

  Then she left before the compassion in Ted Morgan’s eyes made her spill the whole story and she’d have to face his judgment of her motives, too.

  In her car forty-five minutes later, Melanie took the road Ted had told her about—an alternate route that would lead her to Zack’s headquarters. It was narrower than the two-lane road that ran through Cool Ridge. It was also bumpier and curvier. As she drove Melanie was absolutely aware that this was the way Sherry had traveled that fateful night. Melanie tried not to let her anxiety and helplessness over the situation with Zack overtake her. She tried to clear her mind and her heart so she could feel—feel not only her own feelings, but Sherry’s, too.

  A drizzling rain began to fall, and Melanie turned on her windshield wipers, keeping her eyes peeled for a small gas station Ted had described as a landmark. She passed a red-and-blue house trailer and then a cedar-sided, ranch-style home. The curve Ted had also described was right beyond the house. That was where the accident had happened.

  On alert, Melanie spotted the sharp curve, the ditch along the road, the live oaks bordering it. Slowing to a stop, she knew she couldn’t park along the curve, so she backed up a safe distance, almost in front of the house, hoping whoever was inside wouldn’t mind. There was a feeling stirring in her chest, the flash of a picture in her mind of a dark green sedan tilted into that ditch, its front end smashed into the trees. She really didn’t care about the rain as she exited her car and walked toward that ditch. It drew her like an unbearably strong magnet.

  The falling rain was icy as it pelted her face and wet her hair. That didn’t seem to matter. There was something here she had to see…had to know…had to do. She didn’t know how long she walked in and out of the trees and along the ditch, but suddenly she heard someone call, “Hello, there,” and she looked up.