He lowered himself onto me, holding his hard cock in his hand as he guided it right to my wet slit. I took a deep breath waiting for him, wanting him to thrust himself fast and hard into me. I opened my eyes again and bit my lip in anticipation.
“Are you sure you want this Vanessa?”
I pulled my brows together questioning why he would even ask that at a moment like this. Finally, it dawned on me that I was the one who constantly told him no. I nodded my head quickly. “Matt, please, I want you so badly. I need you inside of me right now,” I pleaded as I began to breathe faster.
Relief flooded his face as he thrust himself hard into me. I cried out from pure bliss as he moaned at that same moment. Lips pressed against mine as he begged to enter my mouth also. Breathing heavy as he continued to thrust into me and I wrapped my legs around his ass as he pumped into me over and over again. “Ahhh, oh, yes,” I cried out as my rapid breath met his every thrust into me.
“Oh fuck, Vanessa, baby, come please come. I …” I arched my hips as he hit my spot over and over again in that fantastic way that brought me that euphoric feeling. I cried out in pure pleasure knowing that the thought of making Matt come brought on mine.
We lay there breathless, not really wanting to come down just yet. Matt kissed my neck as he mumbled something completely inaudible. I thought he said something about thanking me, but I wasn’t sure. Our breaths finally began to even out as Matt moved slightly. “No,” I protested, giving a slight pout. He quirked up that eyebrow and he moved himself inside of me, dragging out that wonderful feeling. “Mmm,” I moaned, enjoying every pulse from his cock inside of me.
He slowly pulled out and headed to the bathroom. I couldn’t resist sitting up slightly to watch him from behind. Most fantastic ass on a man. Ever. I lay back laughing to myself about checking him out.
I sat up and retrieved my shirt from the floor. Putting it on, I started to have slight regret about what we just did. It felt so fantastic, how could it be wrong? How could I regret it?
Work. The stupid fucking office policy.
Matt returned just as I was pulling my yoga pants over my hips. He sat down next to me and pulled me onto his lap. I wasn't sure how I should act after we just had sex. I started to wrap my arm around him and he gave me a questioningly look that made me pull my arm back and place it in my lap.
“Hey, are you upset?”
I shook my head. “No, of course not.” I gave him a comforting smile trying to match what I just told him.
“What are you thinking about…us?” He asked as he tried to gaze into my eyes. I looked away not knowing what he was looking for. He doesn’t want a relationship. I know that and should be fine with that. I couldn’t explain to myself why I was saddened by that thought.
My eyes darted around as if I were searching for the words to say. “We’re fine,” I stated flatly.
I didn’t want to have this conversation anymore. I didn’t know what to say to begin with and I felt like I needed to sort out my feelings. I started to get up, not wanting to discuss this at all. Matt grabbed my hips and pulled me back down onto him. He stared at me for a moment and then thrust his hands through my hair, pulling my mouth to his. I couldn’t help but groan into his mouth. My God the man can kiss as if he were made just for me. He’s not made for you. You’re just friends. The thought made me pull away from his kiss as I shook my head at the same time.
“What are we doing? I can’t do this, Matt. If someone were to find out…”
“They’re not going to find out. We live right across from each other. Neighbors go out all the time with each other.”
“So what are you implying? A friends with benefits thing?”
He pulled his brows together, frowning as his eyes glanced around my apartment. “Sure. If that’s what you want it to be, then that’s what we’ll be.” His eyes met mine and all I could do was stare into his, wondering if that’s all he really wants. Of course that’s all he wants. He wouldn’t want a relationship with you. I bit my lip trying to stop my thoughts, but realized my line of thinking was exactly what Matt was probably thinking.
“Just sex and hanging out. No relationship.” I stated flatly so as not to lead him on into any questioning.
“Yeah, I mean. We wouldn’t want to go against your work policy and have some sort of relationship. As for the sex part, no one has to know about that since we’re right across the hall from each other. We can keep our distance at work so no one thinks anything else.” He gave me a small reassuring smile as he continued to stare into my eyes.
I nodded my head, knowing it was reasonable. At least it was reasonable to me. I wouldn’t have to hide wanting him anymore and could probably stop teasing, well, both of us. “Friends with benefits. We’re the only ones that know.”
“Good.” He smiled as his hand wrapped around the back of my neck and sifted through my hair. He pulled me closer as he stared at my lips. Just as he was about to kiss me, he said, “Now let’s work harder on the benefits thing.”
Abso-fucking-lutely.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Matt
I WATCHED Vanessa as she headed to the ladies room. We were sitting at the bar in Allure having a few drinks before we head back for a continuance of our new friends with benefits deal.
I smiled to myself remembering our “workout” at the gym downstairs in our building. Having the place all to ourselves seems to be a major perk of this building. The alcove with the chin up bar really works well just in case someone were to walk in while we were having our own version of what exercising is.
“Looks like you two are really into each other,” I heard Izzy say from behind me, pulling me from reminiscing my active day with Vanessa. I turned in my chair to see her smiling face. Little matchmaker.
I smiled back and corrected her. “Nah. Just friends with benefits.” I took a swig of my beer.
Izzy pressed her lips together. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly and her eyes lit up. “Really?” She asked after a moment.
I nodded, remembering a particular “benefit.” “Yeah. It’s all good.” Izzy smiled happily back at me.
“Well, good. I’m glad to hear that. So, you’re just friends and having additional benefits?” She asked with a small tilt to her head. I nodded again.
“Yep. That’s all it is.” I sighed remembering another fantastic moment today.
“Hmm, then I guess you wouldn’t have a problem with her talking to Luke again?” She asked grinning as if she knew some secret.
My smile dropped from my face as I asked, “Luke?” For some reason, my stomach dropped too.
Izzy continued to smile and nodded her head towards the table area. “Yeah. She’s at his table talking to him.”
I looked over and immediately pegged Luke at a table — with Vanessa. Vanessa was standing at his table, placing a lock of hair behind her ear, smiling at him and laughing about something. “Shit,” I said under my breath, or at least tried to.
“Is something wrong? I thought you just said you were friends with her.” Izzy’s voice was anything but sincere. Sarcastic laden would be more the description.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of them together as I responded, “Well, we are…but…” I stopped short as I watched Vanessa do that hand thing she did before where she touched Luke’s bicep. I mean, what the hell is that? There’s no need to touch his bicep, right?
Jealousy. That’s what I was feeling. I’m not jealous. Jealousy would be for a boyfriend or something like that. Well, we’re fucking, that’s gotta qualify me for some type of jealousy, right? Something at least.
Laughing. I watched her eyes spark as she laughed at something he said. That sure as shit spiked my jealousy as I started to stand up.
“Wow, they look like they’re having a great time. I wonder if maybe he could also become a friends with benefits for her,” Izzy taunted in a soft voice.
My eyes snapped to hers. “Not funny, Izzy,” I sternly snapped as I felt an
ger build up at just the thought of Vanessa being with Luke too — or any other guy for that matter.
“Why? I thought you said you’re just friends,” she pointed out. “What? She can’t be friends with another guy now? Kind of hypocritical don’t you think?” Sarcasm dripped from her tone. I hate it when she does that to me. She’s like my conscience pointing out blatant crap that I didn’t want to think about.
I stared her down and attempted to explain my side of things. “I’m not doing the friends with benefits thing with anyone else. Neither should she,” I informed her.
Izzy gave a quick nod of her head and pressed her lips together. “Hmm. Did you two discuss that?” She asked as her eyes glanced back to Luke and Vanessa.
I tore my gaze away from Izzy to look back at them also. “No,” I admitted while staring at them.
“Hmm.”
I snapped my head back to Izzy. “Would you quit with your ‘hmm.’ You spend too much damn time with your therapist,” I sneered at her, but then I felt bad. A little.
“Maybe you should go have a visit with her. You could explain how your friends with benefits thing is supposed to work,” she told me sarcastically. I deserved it.
“Ha ha.”
Z picked that particular moment to come over, glancing as he walked our way in the same direction both Izzy and I were looking. He came up behind Izzy, putting his arm around her shoulders.
“Wow. Luke is really putting the moves on her,” Z said as he bent down and kissed Izzy on her cheek. Izzy nodded her head in agreement with Z. “You know it’s funny, he came in here last week saying that someone told him that Vanessa’s a little crazy. That same someone told him that she goes up and down in moods real fast,” he told her, as if I weren’t here.
I looked away and took a sip of my beer as I continued watching Luke and Vanessa while listening to Izzy and Z. I wondered if Luke told Z who that someone was.
“I set him straight though,” Z told Izzy. “Vanessa can be a little harsh sometimes if she’s uncomfortable, but for the most part, she’s a really sweet and fun girl.”
“Wow, Matt. You guys must have so much fun together. You know. As friends.”
I turned around and shot her a look as she giggled. Z and Izzy both had a devious grin on their faces.
I took a deep breath and set my beer on the counter. “Alright. I get it. Point taken,” I muttered to Izzy as I stood and started to head across the bar. I think I even heard them both laughing behind me.
Luke and Vanessa were having their own private conversation. I could totally tell they were leaning in more towards each other. At least he was to her. She wasn’t backing away either though. Was she playing a game with me? Was she trying to see how I would handle this type of situation? Was she trying to make me jealous?
I was giving in to her, if that was the case. I just played right into her hands if she was trying to make me jealous. I slowed my pace, unsure of what to do. Neither of them noticed I was nearing the table.
I would hope that Vanessa was wondering where I was. That had to be her intent. I mean she headed to the bathroom. You would think she would walk right back to me and to our conversation, right?
I just happened to look over to my right and noticed a familiar face. Visions of hot amazing sex flooded my brain about the woman that I was staring at. I started thinking about her naked body as I slammed into her in the bathroom at the bachelor party. Sarah. Damn. I never hooked up with her. I probably should have, then I wouldn’t be having these weird jealousy feelings for Vanessa.
Sarah was sitting at a table full of her friends. Her green eyes sparkled as they followed me shift in direction towards her. And yet…I felt…nothing. She’s hot, really hot. I stared at her and she was doing that flirtatious thing with her hair, batting her lashes, slowly running her tongue along her bottom lip and finally tugging on it with her teeth. Hot, but yet…I felt…nothing. I don’t think I could even get my dick to twitch.
Just like last night with Ava. I tried to make out with her and all I could think about was Vanessa. Then I tried to pretend Ava was Vanessa and then that just messed with my mind too much. I made up a lie that a friend was having surgery in the morning and I was worried about it. I grabbed a cab for her, the whole time trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.
I glanced back at Vanessa behind me. There was no way I could turn around without being blatantly obvious to both of these women. Unless, I pretended to head toward the bathroom. I could do that, I thought to myself as I started to try to pass Sarah’s table.
“Heeyyy, Matt!” Sarah called out. I glanced over to her and smiled, giving a slight head nod as I continued walking toward the John. She jumped up from her seat and sidled right up next to me, grabbing my arm tightly.
“Oh hey, Sarah,” I smiled nicely at her. I couldn’t be rude. She didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not her fault that a certain auburn hair gorgeous knockout kept entering my thoughts.
“I haven’t heard from you. I was beginning to think you don’t want to get together with me again.” She said flirtatiously as she rubbed her breasts up against my arm. She was trying to be subtle; it was anything but that.
“Uhh, yeah. I started this new job and I’ve been traveling a lot.” which wasn’t a lie, really.
“Oh, well…since you’re here now…” Tugging at her lip with her teeth, her green eyes lit up. Fuck. I should take her in the back room. I should prove to myself that Vanessa and I are just friends, with benefits. Hot amazing benefits. Being with her is just…shit. What makes it different with her? Why can’t I pinpoint it?
Stall. I needed to stall so I could figure out a way out of this with Sarah until I figure out what the heck I’m doing.
“Yeah. Umm, can you give me a sec…” I didn’t have time to get my words out because the next moment, Sarah’s lips were on me forcefully. She pressed her body against mine and I had to take a step in order to keep my balance from the force of her kiss. Dammit. Nothing. That sweet thing that Vanessa has — That…Fuck, I can’t even explain it to myself. It’s that breath, that essence right before we kiss. I swear it’s each and every fucking time. Nothing with Sarah. My heart didn’t even skip.
Vanessa fucking ruined me for every woman now. Is that what this is? Shit. I felt bad that I couldn’t even return Sarah’s kiss. She pulled back with concern in her eyes. Crap.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
I looked back over to Vanessa and Luke still in their own little world. “Umm, nothing’s wrong, Sarah. I just…” I squinted my face and tilted my head toward the bathroom. Lame excuse, but I needed to try to buy some time.
Her face lit up knowing what I was trying to say. “Oh, got it. I’ll be here when you get back.” She smiled as I quickly removed myself from her grip and continued toward the bathroom.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror wondering what the fuck was going on in my head. Face the facts Matt. You might feel something a little bit more with Vanessa than you’re willing to admit. In such a short time? Impossible. I spent way more time with other girls. So, what is it? What makes her different than the others?
My mind flipped through all the things we’ve done, all that we’ve talked about, all the annoying crap at work. It’s that breath you share, right before you kiss. As if you’re sharing your heart…your soul.
Great. Now I’m sounding like a fucking Hallmark commercial or something. I ran some cold water and splashed it on my face trying to get some sort of clarity in my mind.
I began to entertain the thought that I might feel something more with Vanessa than I did with any other woman, which brought me back to Stephanie. I was head over heels in love with that girl, but I was also a stupid boy at the time. I spent years trying not to feel anything like that again.
And now here I am, starting to feel that again. I can’t let my guard down. I can’t get hurt like that ever again. This thing with Vanessa was going to have to just remain friends. With benefits. I smile
d at my reflection knowing I wasn’t about to give up that part of our relationship.
She’s out there with Luke and I’m in here talking to myself at my fucking reflection. Letting the jealousy kick back in I grabbed the door handle and walked back into the bar. Ignoring Sarah jumping up out of her seat heading toward me, I looked over to her and told her I’d call her later as I passed.
I walked right up to their intimate conversation and stood there. Neither of them seemed to notice, so I gave a small cough.
“Hey Matt,” Vanessa greeted me, her eyes lit up the same time as her gorgeous mouth turned up into a smile. “Where have you been?” She asked.
Where have I been? I was just about to ask her that. She’s the one who didn’t walk back up to me at the bar.
“Mattyyyy, wazzz up?” Luke asked as he clapped my shoulder. I stared at him for a second into his glassy eyes. They were bloodshot. He’s drunk, I realized. I glanced back at Vanessa who appeared to give me a fake smile as if trying to make me understand something.
“Hey Luke. How’s it going?” I carefully asked, glancing back and forth between the two of them.
“Goin’ greeaat.” He slurred as he clapped my shoulder again. “Vanessa’s greeaat. Isn’t she great?” He asked as he smiled happily over at her.
“Yeah. She’s really nice.” I glanced back at Vanessa who was raising her eyebrows and pressing her lips together. I was trying to get her message, but still wondered if I interrupted something between the two of them. I looked back at Luke and watched him sway slightly as he stared at Vanessa with bloodshot eyes. “Are you…are you doing alright, Luke?”
He leaned forward and whispered, “I got laid off yesterday. ‘Nessa here is gonna help me find a new job.” He cupped his hand to his mouth as if to pretend he was keeping it from the rest of the bar. “She’s got contacts in the HR world.” He nodded his head as he grabbed his beer for another drink.
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