Lucky for us, one of his buddies walked over and we were able to engage them in conversation as I gently eased us out of the conversation.
I finally got Vanessa out of the bar and we headed back to our building.
“Oh my God. He was annoying the crap out of me. Why didn’t you come rescue me sooner?” Vanessa scolded me, glaring at me as we continued our walk.
“Rescue you?” I asked her. “You were touching his bicep and shit. You were laughing. You looked like you were flirting.” Okay, that last part, I probably shouldn’t have said, but I couldn’t resist throwing it at her.
“What? Oh, dear God no!” She scoffed at me. She shook her head, her face scrunched up letting me know how stupid I sounded. “Can’t you tell my fake smile from my real one yet? We need some sort of code if we’re going to hit the bars together,” she mumbled as she started to walk towards our building again.
“How about we just don’t talk to other people. There’s a thought,” I blurted out a bit harsh and laced with anger that even caught me off guard. Shit. What the hell is wrong with me?
She stopped walking and turned towards me. Her brows pulled together and her mouth turned up slightly. When she does that she has this adorable dimple that shows and she almost looks like she’s smiling. Slightly. She slowly walked toward me and I felt like a total jackass. My heart started pounding not knowing what I was going to say next. Why would I have said that? Did she see my jealousy?
“If we did that, we would be exclusive or more than just the friends thing we talked about,” she said slowly and that small smile was no longer there.
“Okay,” I said flatly and probably way too quickly. Wow. I put my hands on my hips and started to look around. Couples walked by us and I tried to focus on anything other than how Vanessa was going to respond to me as my heart raced wildly in my chest.
“Okay? What does that mean?” Vanessa stopped right in front of me and looked up, trying to look in my eyes.
I glanced back to her quickly to see concern mixed with confusion written all over her face. My eyes flicked to the store front window as I realized it was a jewelry store. Figures, doesn’t it?
“It means alright. Fine. I agree with you,” I asserted to her. My heart started beating faster as my brain was catching up as I was telling her what I really wanted. I stared into her eyes. You would think I’d be giving her a romantic, sweet look right now, but I wasn’t. My look was more of a daring her to agree with me look. I almost wanted her to tell me “no,” so that I could figure out how to get over her, but I really didn’t want that. I wanted her.
“On what? Just being exclusive?” I nodded my head as Vanessa looked around trying to make sense of what I was saying. Her eyes flicked back to mine as she argued, “You don’t date exclusive. Do you?”
I crossed my arms in defiance. “I did it once. I can do it again.”
“Matt? Are you telling me you don’t want this to be friends with benefits thing?” She looked in my eyes and then flicked away back and forth. She was clearly unsure if she should ask what she did, “Do you want more?”
“Sure,” I responded quickly. I kept feeling like I wanted this discussion over with, but I couldn’t figure out why. I didn’t want to discuss it, I just wanted us to “be.”
“But we just agreed upon the friends thing this afternoon, why didn’t you just say you wanted more then?” Her head turned towards the direction of the bar before she finally exclaimed, “Oh, God. Are you just doing this out of jealousy?” Her mouth popped open as she looked back up at me as she shook her head. “I can’t be with someone just because they’re jealous.”
“No, I’m not jealous.” I huffed as I threw my hand in the direction of the bar. I was completely frustrated that she didn’t feel the same way. “I…well, how come you’re not jealous?” Maybe she didn’t feel as strongly about me as I thought she did. Maybe all this breathing, kissing thing is just in my head. Fuck, she’s driving me crazy.
Vanessa appeared to be totally thrown off guard and completely confused of my question to her. “Of what? Why do I need to be jealous?” Her eyebrows lifted as if she just realized something, her mouth popped open as she accused me, “Did you screw someone in the back room?”
“You didn’t see me with Sarah?”
She looked even more surprised and disgusted. “Sarah? Who’s Sarah?”
“The brunette who kissed me,” I admitted.
Anger flashed on Vanessa’s face as her hand slammed into my chest, knocking me slightly off balance. “You kissed someone tonight, but you’re mad at me for touching Luke’s bicep?” She yelled at me, causing people passing by to turn and stare as they continued their walk.
This was almost comical. Almost. Then I realized she really didn’t see the whole interaction with Sarah at all. I swallowed nervously as I asked again, “You didn’t see Sarah kiss me?”
“Nope,” she popped the last “p” of that out of her mouth as she turned to continue walking. Shit. I just opened a can of worms.
I stood there like a jackass wondering what just took place in our conversation. I watched Vanessa walk, more like stomp, back to our apartment building. I ran my hand through my hair as my heart started beating frantically and I finally admitted to myself that this thing between us was definitely more than I had thought before.
I watched her head shake slightly and had to chuckle. She was talking to herself, probably arguing with me, telling me off. She’s going to tell me to go fuck myself. She hates me right now for kissing Sarah. Damn, she’s adorable, I thought to myself as I watched her hands move up and down in her own personal argument. A couple passed by her and they looked back at the crazy woman arguing with no one.
Maybe I’m just as crazy because right then, I wanted nothing more in my life than to have her in my arms. A smile crept over my face as I started my sprint to catch up with the insane lady yelling at air.
Her hand flipped up just as I ran up next to her and I grabbed it just in time before her arm would hit me. She spun into me yelling, “You have NO right to accuse me of…” I didn’t let her finish her sentence as I grabbed her waist, pulled her close to me and pressed my lips right to hers, inhaling her essence right before our mouths met. She moaned into my mouth as she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. We stood in the middle of the sidewalk for the longest time just enjoying our passionate make up kiss. Resolving our conflict without talking. Using our mouths to explore possibilities of a relationship.
The romantic idiot in me wanted nothing more than to see myself marrying this woman, when just a second ago I was ready to leave everything to us just having sex. I was taking a huge leap, a tremendous chance with her. Vanessa was the most confusing woman I’ve ever been with and right now, I wanted nothing more than for her to continue to mystify me.
I pulled back and pecked her lips. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I pressed my forehead to hers, staring into her eyes.
She paused for a moment, staring back into my eyes, before closing them quickly, as if to resolve something in her own head. “Forgiven,” was all she whispered to me.
“I do want something more,” I admitted as my heart beat so hard, I swore she could hear it.
She swallowed as she asked, “You do?”
I smiled and nodded. “Yeah.” Her smile was all the reply I needed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Vanessa
WE JUST FINISHED off some Chinese food for lunch after another round of amazing sex. We were lying in bed facing each other. Our bodies were pressed together and his hand was softly running up and down along my body. Grazing against my breast, stomach, hip and back up. I was exhausted, but couldn’t help wondering how many other women he had this friends with benefits relationship with.
We never really discussed any further what we are to each other. I wasn’t sure what “more” to the benefits thing really was. He probably had one with Kara. My stomach dropped just thinking about that. I glanced away from hi
s eyes trying to get the thought out of my mind.
“What was that?” Matt asked as he brought his hand back up to my face. He swept my hair behind my shoulder, pulling it through his fingers slowly as he did that.
“What was what?” I looked back into his eyes, unsure if my expression had changed. I gave him a half smile and swallowed.
“What are you thinking about?”
I didn’t want to ask because I knew it might ruin the moment, but it was possibly a self-destruct button built in to me. Out with it. I swallowed and blurted out my question, “Did you have a friends with benefit thing with Kara too?”
Slowly, Matt answered me. “Yes.”
I nodded, knowing I already knew that and I was ticked off that I asked that. I decided I asked one thing, I might as well ask more issues that were bothering me. That self-destruct button was taunting me internally.
“What was it that you saw in Kara?” I shrugged and rolled my eyes. “Besides her good looks.”
Matt gave a small smile before answering. “She touched me. I liked that she wanted something better for herself.”
“Did you…I mean…do you love her?” God, what is wrong with me? My heart sped up not really wanting to hear his answer. What if he does love her?
Matt shook his head, propping his elbow up and resting his head in his hand. “No. Kara…she was like a little sister almost.” My expression must have changed completely as he continued, “Stop looking at me that way. I didn’t mean an incestuous sister. I just meant that I felt like I wanted to help her out, take care of her…”
“And sleep with her,” I added.
Matt smirked and shrugged. “Well, that was just an added perk. She’s a sweet girl. Really.”
You’ve got your answer now move on. I told myself. “Well she seems interested in Tom’s roommate.”
He gave a small pensive smile. “Yeah, she does.”
“Are you jealous?” Another question I blurted out and then cringed, not really wanting the answer.
“I think I was more annoyed than anything, but then realized I just want her to be happy,” he admitted. He ran his finger along the curves of my body, barely touching my skin.
“What about you?” I looked back into his eyes, wanting to know if he was really happy. I wasn’t sure how he felt about sleeping with so many women and never having a relationship.
“Me?”
“Yeah. Don’t you deserve to be happy?”
His smile brightened. “I’m happy right now,” he quietly said as his hand brushed my cheek, making my heart jump.
“You are?”
“Yeah, I’m having fun with you.”
I wasn’t sure what answer I wanted from him, but his answer seemed like a let down. I faked a smile, hiding that I was starting to have a little more feelings for Matt. “Fun. Yeah, I guess that’s what we’re having, isn’t it?”
He smacked my bare ass quickly. “Come on. You need to change,” he said as he started to sit up.
I really wanted to just take a nap and snuggle in his strong arms. “Change for what?” I groaned playfully.
“We need to work off some of that Chinese food.”
“Ugh…between you and Aubrey, why can’t I just have a friend that lets me rest through my carb coma?”
He chuckled as he slipped his jeans back on. “Nah. Change,” he ordered. “I’ll be back in a few minutes to drag you down to workout.”
I gave a slight pout as I flopped onto my stomach and pulled a pillow over my head. He chuckled and pulled it back, kneeling on the bed. He bent down and whispered, “I’ll make it worth your while.” He kissed my neck and left.
Well, I couldn’t resist that offer, could I?
“CRAP. Do you have any more condoms?” I heard Matt ask me. I had just stepped out of the shower and was drying off. After a hot sweaty workout mixed with sex, I needed a hot shower, you know, so we could have some “clean” sex.
“Umm, I don’t think so. You can check the nightstand on the right. I might have one in there.” Aubrey gave me a couple after I told her about my break with Charles. Charles and I never used one since I’m on birth control and Matt and I still hadn’t broached the subject.
“Holy shit! What’s this?” I heard Matt exclaim. I looked up and stared into my reflection in the bathroom mirror with an “oh shit” look knowing exactly what he just found. I dashed into my bedroom just as Matt pulled out my vibrator from my nightstand.
“Agh!” I screamed as I dove onto the bed. “Give that back to me!” I tried to grab it from his hand.
“No way.” Matt’s eyes were lit up as he licked his lips, staring at me excitedly. “Look at you. Dirty little whore using a vibrator,” he teased me with a sexy lustful gleam in his eyes.
“I don’t use it,” I lied as I gripped my towel closer to my body. I’ve used it almost every night since we got back from our night together in New Jersey. Every fantasy was entirely about him.
“What? Why have one and not use it?” He laughed as he looked it over and started playing with the controllers. He smiled even more as the speed rotated the plastic shaft around. He put his hands to the beads in the shaft and squeezed, chuckling like a little boy with a new toy.
“We bought it so I could…practice.” I told him squeamishly.
Matt stopped what he was doing, his smile completely gone as he asked in a gruff voice, “We?”
I realized what he must have thought so I quickly explained, “Aubrey bought it for me.”
His eyes lit up and he licked his lips. “Nice. That sounds like a good time. Should we invite her in here when she gets back?”
My mouth popped open at what he thought Aubrey and I did. “Very funny. No. She bought it for me so I could,” I stopped not wanting to tell him the real reason. “…learn.” Was all I could come up with.
“Learn what?” He sat up a little straighter, intent on hearing what I was going to say. I rolled my eyes and started to get off the bed. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. “Vanessa? Learn what?”
Knowing he was going to just enjoy a good laugh about my shortcomings, I took a deep breath and spit it out. “How to give a better blow job.” I swallowed and started to try to wrestle my wrist from his grip.
Matt’s eyes seemed to pop out of his head as he asked in all seriousness, “Really? You did just fine at the conference.” He gave me a sweet smile as I rolled my eyes. “No really. You were great,” he insisted. His eyes turned seductive and he gave me that half smile. Fucking sexy as hell. “Let’s see you practice.”
I huffed as I tried to grab my vibrator from his hands. “I’m not doing that!” He quickly pulled it back, laughing.
“Come on. Let’s see what you’ve got, baby,” he teased as he started to rub B.O.B. against my lips.
I smacked it away and rolled my eyes again. “No,” I said, this time more insistent. I was embarrassed enough. I didn’t need him watching how horrible I really was at that.
He pushed me back onto the bed, my towel falling open as he straddled me. All naked. His heavy hard throbbing cock was resting on my stomach. He took the vibrator and turned it on. He ran it over my neck as I giggled. It was tickling me, but Matt was making me wet just by being so playful in bed.
He took the vibrator and ran it down my chest to my breasts. He circled each nipple with the vibrator. The rumbling of the vibrator left my skin tingling and so turned on in its wake. Then he ran it along the side of my stomach and then across. Looking into my eyes the whole time to see what this would do to me; he watched my reaction. He smiled as I swallowed slightly and pressed my lips together. I had stopped giggling and was seriously enjoying what he was doing to me.
He rubbed it around my breast again and took his other hand to his hard cock. I watched him as he stroked himself slowly with that half smile of his.
“You like that, Vanessa? Do you like that vibration?” I gave him a brief nod.
He gave a small chuckle and then took the vibrator next to his
cock. His was most definitely larger as I glanced down at the difference. “What do you think, Vanessa? Would you rather have this one inside of you?” He held up the vibrator, “or this one?” he glanced down to his own cock.
“Yours,” I barely said loud enough.
He smiled a little more. “I didn’t hear you, Vanessa. You need to speak up.” He took the vibrator behind him and ran it in between my legs slowly before finally resting it right at my wet opening. I felt like my eyes would roll back from the phenomenal pleasure of the vibration. Just resting it in between my slit and gliding it back and forth was about to make me come. He tilted the vibrator a little more against my clit and I began to moan, “Oh…Matt.”
“Did you say you wanted me, Vanessa? Or this thing?”
I couldn’t catch my breath as another moan escaped my lips. “I…I don’t care right now.” I just want something in me. Suddenly he turned off the vibrator and I felt the immediate urge to grab it from him and turn it back on. I popped my eyes open. Matt had a satisfied Cheshire grin.
He leaned down as he tossed the vibrator to the side. He growled into my ear, “Looks like you like that thing. Maybe you should use it more often if I’m not around. I like that thought of you pleasuring yourself.” He kissed me right under my ear, “Touching yourself.” His lips brushed against my cheek. “Shoving it in your wet pussy. Making yourself come.” He began to nibble on my ear, then ran his tongue over my neck and kissed me tenderly.
I squirmed from his little teasing act. I pressed my thighs together and he looked up at me as he was beginning his descent down to my breasts. He chuckled as he gripped both my thighs and spread them apart. “Trying to give yourself some relief?” He placed his knees under my legs, so I couldn’t close them. Then he cupped both my breasts, squeezing them together.
“Damn you’ve got fantastic tits. I think my cock needs some attention too. What do you think, Vanessa?” My eyes widened, unsure of what he meant. I watched him inch up my body and place his cock in between my breasts and move back and forth, fucking my breasts as he pinched each of my nipples. My hands immediately reached up to feel the tip of his cock. I flicked my tongue out to taste him. Salty and sweet mixed together as I licked my lips and then his cock again.
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