Alluring Promises Box Set (Books 1-3)

by Josie Bordeaux

  His stance matched his voice as spat, “So you asked for a break so you could have sex with other guys?”

  Shocked by his question, I burst out, “No! Of course not. I wasn’t out looking for a guy or sex or anything like that. I just wanted…”

  He interrupted me, yelling, “I know what you wanted! You wanted to fuck him! This is why you wanted a break, so you could act like a tramp. You always wanted to be a fucking slut in the bedroom. Did you want to see how his dick would feel inside you?” He stomped towards me, full strides. Fear gripped me as I stepped backward, finally hitting the wall. My face flushed with surprise of how he was speaking to me while pure panic swept through me. I had never seen him like this.

  Tears welled up in my eyes as I tried to protest, “No, Charles. Never. That was never…”

  Matt pushed Charles away from me and stood in front of me, blocking Charles from my sight. “Don’t talk to her like that. Just because she doesn’t want to marry you doesn’t give you the right to speak to her that way,” Matt yelled as I tried to peer around Matt to see what was going on.

  Charles stormed back towards Matt, so he could yell at me again. “You think he wants you for you? He’s just going to toss you aside after he gets what he wants. Or is it what you want? So you can just move on and fuck some other guy? Is that it?”

  Matt took a breath as if he was just about to say something when Charles turned his head back to Matt. Matt didn’t flinch or back down and they were nose to nose as Charles screamed at him, “YOU. I fucking saved your father’s life. This is how you repay me?”

  I couldn’t speak as I just stood there behind Matt not knowing what to do. I didn’t want them to fight. I didn’t want either of them to get hurt. “You save people’s lives every day. My father has nothing to do with this,” Matt said in a cool voice as he continued to stare at Charles.

  “The fuck it doesn’t,” Charles screamed, his face was red with anger. My heart was pounding as Matt’s body pushed back slightly into mine.

  Matt held his hands up and tried to calmly tell him, “Charles, you didn’t know me before all this. I understand what you’re feeling right now, but you don’t need to speak with her like that. And placing your anger on me isn’t going to do anything either.”

  “The fuck it’s not!” Matt quickly pushed me aside causing me to stumble. I caught my balance just in time to watch Charles pull his arm back. He balled his hand into a fist and threw a punch at Matt. Matt backed up quickly causing Charles to miss, only hitting air. Charles became even angrier as Matt took another step back with his hands up in front of him again.

  Several people in the hallway started to gather as some young guy yelled out, “Fight!” I stood there unsure of what to do. The two men I love were fighting all because I didn’t have the guts to be honest with either of them.

  “You don’t want to do this, Charles. Just calm down,” Matt tried to tell him, continuing to hold his hands up, but standing his ground.

  “Fuck you, asshole.” Charles lunged with his palm into Matt’s chest slamming him right into the wall. Matt grabbed Charles by his shoulders, shoving him off him.

  “I’m not going to fight you, Charles.” Matt tried to say, his face red with anger, his eyes not trusting what Charles was going to do next.

  Charles yelled at Matt, “The fuck you’re not,” as he took another swing at Matt. Matt ducked out of the way and Charles’ fist hit the wall hard as he screamed out in pain.

  “Dammit, Charles. Calm down,” Matt tried to order him as security guards came running up. They grabbed Matt, pulling him away from the scene. Matt held his hands up as I rushed over to tell them that he didn’t do anything and explained what happened.

  I glanced over to see Charles gripping his hurt hand with his other, his face contorted in pain. Concern for him rushed through me and I ran over to see if he was all right. I followed to make sure Charles hadn’t hurt his hand, knowing he needed them for surgery. All this was my fault and I felt horrible as I followed Charles down the hallway.

  Bruised knuckles, thankfully, was all Charles had. I sat with him as Randy, the emergency room doctor, examined his hand. Randy left to go check on something, leaving Charles and I to sit together.

  Charles sat up on the hospital gurney and I stood in front of him, unsure of what to do. We were both quiet and lost in our own thoughts. I couldn’t help but wonder what he could possibly be going through in his mind. We had been together for so long and for our relationship to come to an end like this was heartbreaking.

  “I’m so sorry about everything. I’m so sorry I did this to you,” I told him through my sniffles.

  He took a deep breath and shook his head. “I’m…I’m the one who should be sorry, Vanessa. You tried to tell me and I wouldn’t listen.” He glanced away and then back at me with tears in his eyes. “I love you so much. I’m sorry for what I said out there.” He pulled me in for a hug and I wrapped my arms around him, hoping to comfort him. He turned his head in an attempt to kiss me. I quickly pecked his cheek lightly, not wanting to give him mixed signals. He let out a deep sigh as he rested his head on my shoulder. “I thought we were really perfect for each other. I thought we would always be together,” he whispered into my neck.

  I hugged him tighter as more tears fell onto his shoulder. “You only saw what you wanted to see in me. I’ll always be grateful to you. I’ll always love you, Charles,” I sniffled.

  “I’ll always love you too,” he whispered as he pulled away. He swiped his finger under my eye, brushing away my tears. We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment longer before he sighed again. He cleared his throat and looked away briefly. “Do you…” he swallowed. “Do you think that guy will…” He took another deep breath as I tried to figure out what he might say. “He…if he doesn’t treat you right, you…” he looked back at me, tears welled in his eyes. “Just let me know, okay?” I nodded as tears fell from my eyes faster than I could wipe them away. Again I questioned leaving such a wonderful man. Here he is hurting and he’s still thinking of me, still making sure I would be all right.

  The doctor returned to speak with Charles. Working together and being friends, I’m sure Randy will figure out the situation, if he doesn’t already know. At least he was still cordial to me.

  They continued to discuss his bruised knuckles and then Randy began discussing another patient. I stood there waiting unsure if I should say something else. Charles glanced at me as if he wanted to say something more. He reached out and took my hand, lightly squeezing and gave me a small head nod.

  Ever so slowly our hands lost their grasp. His releasing me so I could be with Matt, just made my heart hurt more for him. When the tips of our fingers were barely touching, I knew that was it. Charles and I were finally broken up. As I struggled to keep a small cry from escaping, I pressed a kiss to my fingertips, letting Charles know how much I still love him.

  I always will.

  I LEFT the emergency room and searched for Matt throughout the hospital. Z let me know that Matt stepped outside to get some air. I found him outside in the small garden just across the parking lot.

  I slowly walked over to him, realizing he still seemed pretty upset, rightfully so. His back was to me as I walked up to him. His head turned slightly to see who was behind him and then he looked back out. I watched as he took a deep breath and gruffly asked, “So you never told your parents you broke up with Charles?”

  I walked around so I could face him; looking up to see his eyes I noticed how bloodshot and red they were. After the day he had, first hearing about Charles, his Dad’s surgery and then the fight with Charles, Matt looked worn down. I wanted to comfort him, but I wasn’t sure if he would accept anything from me. I took a step towards him to test the waters.

  He pressed his lips together as he rubbed the heel of his palm into his eye. He took a deep breath through his nose as if to try to keep it together. I realized it didn’t work for him as he unloaded all his frustrations on me.
“How fucking old are you, Vanessa? When are you going to stand up to them? This is your life. You need to live it as you see fit. You don’t need their fucking approval.”

  His words hit hard, but I accepted them knowing he was right. I wanted to stay calm since I knew he was hurting. He still didn’t seem to understand my relationship with my parents. I slumped slightly as I started to tell him my point of view. “Yes I do, Matt. I’ve wanted something from them my whole life.”

  “Something they’ll never give you, Vanessa. It’s something you’re still going to chase until you die. You want to spend your entire life doing that or do you want to live your own life?” He argued, trying to keep from yelling at me.

  Never having really discussed my relationship with my parents, I wanted to make him understand. I wanted him to know this part of me and why I do the things I do. “I just…”

  He didn’t even bother letting me try to say anything. “Dammit, Vanessa,” he screamed, making me jump at his outburst. “You’re not that heavy little girl anymore. You don’t need to keep seeking approval from everyone. Fucking own up and take charge of your own life,” he yelled at me as he turned and started to walk back towards the hospital.

  “Where are you going?” I desperately called after him, fear gripping me that he was leaving. Tears rushed down my face and my heart felt like it was being crushed as I watched him storm off.

  He turned around, his face red with anger as he spat, “When you figure out your life, let me know. Until then I’m not going to stand around watching you beg everyone to appreciate you. Start appreciating yourself, Vanessa.”

  He turned back around and continued to walk towards the hospital as I stood there, knowing he was right. I just wasn’t sure how to try to fix everything.

  IT HAD BEEN over a week since the ordeal at the hospital. I spoke with Izzy on the phone to find out about Matt and Z’s dad. I was relieved that he was recovering very well.

  I returned to work and hadn’t seen Matt at all. Through email he informed me he was using his personal time. It wasn’t a text like we’ve always done. It was formal and addressed to Human Resources for his file and he copied Payroll to make sure they knew to use his sick days. Professional.

  Friday finally came. It was the longest and most lonely week I’ve ever had. I missed Matt. I missed everything about him. I walked around like a zombie, unsure of what to do next. We had been together almost every single night since we started our “relationship.” Well, except for the Wednesday night “date nights” with Charles. My stomach churned just thinking about how I lied to Matt like that. I cried myself to sleep every night knowing that I was to blame for all of this.

  For living right across from each other, I found it really strange that we never ran into each other. I stood outside his door so many times wanting to knock or just hoping he would open his door to go somewhere so I would run into him by accident.

  Aubrey didn’t help matters. Every day she asked if today was the day I’d speak with my parents and then finally go back to Matt. The problem was, I wasn’t sure Matt would want to be with me even after I finally did tell my parents.

  Actually, I was pretty sure our relationship was over when I was called into Perry’s office that Friday morning. I was almost positive that Matt requested to move back to Atlanta and probably already made arrangements. When Perry asked me to draw up a transfer request for when he gives him his final choice, even though his year wasn’t up yet, my stomach dropped. They wanted him to stay as VP of Sales, but Perry insisted that he wouldn’t go back on his word. Perry wanted to make sure Matt’s old territory was ready for him to return to, if that was his choice.

  My heart was in my throat as I listened to Perry tell me all this. I kept my head down and took notes, pushing away the tears that kept threatening.

  After leaving Perry’s office, I headed straight for the bathroom and into a stall. Putting my arms up against the wall and my head down, tears spilled from my eyes as I released all the pain I was feeling. I knew it was up to me to fix things. I needed to speak with my parents, as Matt told me. But the truth was I was still too scared to tell them about Charles.

  I wondered if Charles had already spoken with his parents. Surely, it would have gotten back to my parents by now. If that were the case, my mother would have called or hunted me down by now.

  Wiping my tears and trying to gather myself I knew what I had to do. I realized I may have waited too long to tell my parents. I should tell them, if anything, just to advise them there wouldn’t be a wedding to plan. Visions of my mom yelling, screaming and carrying on, telling me what a disappointment I was, churned my stomach. Panic gripped me and I tried to catch my breath, but wound up working myself into such hysteria that it made me sick. I was thankful I was in the right place.

  Again, I slumped against the wall of the bathroom stall, crossing my arms over my chest as I realized how right Matt was. I needed to finally own up and live my own life. I needed to tell my parents once and for all that it was my life to live. The thought didn’t settle my stomach, but hoping that Matt might take me back helped ease my worry unless it was already too late.

  Thoughts of my future seemed dismal at this point except for my career. Matt had become such a huge part of my life and the thought of going through my days without him was heartbreaking.

  Aside from our spats before our relationship started, we really did get along. I felt like he complimented me perfectly. There was that word again, but with Matt, it seemed fitting. His fun, easy going mannerisms made my heart quicken just thinking about him. That’s it, I thought to myself. I was going to speak with my parents and then hope Matt would take me back.

  He may not take me back, but at that moment I felt like I had to give it one last try. I was finally free from Charles and after I tell my parents I would be completely able to tell Matt how I really felt about him.

  I couldn’t wait to tell him that I really do love him. Since the night he told me I wanted to say those words back to him so badly. I smiled just thinking about how much I really love Matt.

  I nodded my head, took a deep breath and opened the stall door. I walked out to the sinks, gazing at my reflection in the mirror. I wiped my mascara with the tissue when I heard Kara’s voice from behind me.

  “I think he’s in love with you.” I spun around to see her eyes flick up and down my body before she continued, “I don’t know why, but he does.” She paused a moment, “You know, he’s slept with a lot of women. A lot.”

  I flinched and shouldn’t have. I couldn’t help but swallow and try to make sure the lump that was forming in my throat stayed down. She gave me a bitchy look as she continued, “Don’t like the idea of how many women he’s had? He’s had a lot.” She crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall.

  Why did I continue to stand here fighting to keep the tears at bay, waiting for her explanation? Self-loathing probably. Maybe I like to hear such horrible things to just let it break me; just as I had finally made decisions about my life too. Figures.

  “Vanessa, you can’t tell me that when you’re out with him that you don’t see the women that fall for him constantly. Even when you’re just out for lunch?”

  I straightened my posture and tried to keep the tears back. “We’re just friends now. I realize he’s just a player.”

  Kara smirked and looked toward the ground and then back to my eyes. “Matty? Yeah, he is, but Matty is also the type of guy that will fall hard for a girl. For the right one.”

  I felt sick to my stomach wondering if Matt would now go back to Kara. Or maybe he already had and I was too stupid to know. I pulled my chin up, needing to know her purpose for keeping me in here. “Are you thinking you’re that one?” I asked, but hoped she wouldn’t answer me.

  Kara gave a pressed smile and then shook her head. “Me? No, I’m not the one for Matty.” Her eyes scanned the floor. I tried not to look her in the eyes, but when I glanced she seemed to be tearing up. She swallowed and pasted
a fake smile on. “You might be though.”

  I couldn’t hide the surprise on my face for hearing her say that. My stomach flipped and my heart skipped a beat thinking that she might know him better than I do and think this. “Me? No, I think I aggravate him way too much,” I tried to joke, giving a fake laugh.

  “No, you’re more of a challenge. I think he likes that.”

  “So you’re telling me that once the challenge is done, he won’t want anything more?”

  “No, you’re still not getting it. Once the challenge is done, you’ll have already won his heart. You just need to make sure you want it too. You break his heart and I’ll really hate you. Right now I’m just jealous of you,” she pushed herself off the wall and started to walk past me.

  “Jealous?”

  Kara rolled her eyes and uncrossed her arms, annoyed that I questioned her. She walked over to the bathroom door and pulled at the handle. She gave me one last glance and then added, “Don’t you dare fuck this up.”

  Little did she know, I already had.

  STANDING in my Dad’s office looking at all the awards, books and pictures in his bookcase brought back memories from when I was a little girl. Oddly enough, I was feeling like that little girl as I stood in his office now. I noticed a picture of a girl I barely recognized. She was chubby and hugging my dad. She looked so happy hugging him, but there was also something sad about her eyes. My dad’s eyes were full of love for that girl. For some odd reason, I didn’t realize that I was that little girl until I stared at it longer.

  “Dad, what is this?” I asked as I picked up the framed photo.

  “That’s my favorite picture of us, baby girl,” Dad said as he barely looked up from one of his patient charts.

  “Your favorite picture?” I questioned him. It made no sense to me. I hated those years. I hated how I felt, how I was tormented. I hated how Mom treated me like a “project.”

  “Yes,” Dad responded as he put his pen down and removed his glasses.