Okay, she was being a bit over-the-top, but it was well-deserved today, of all days.
“Lay it on me,” she told him. “I can’t stand anymore waiting.”
“Master Ramikin is without a doubt the father of your child.”
Although deep down she’d suspected, especially in the past few weeks when her belly had grown so fast, yet her long-ingrained denial had been difficult to overcome. “You’re sure? It’s not going to end up a false negative like the pregnancy tests on the Odyssey?”
Ellar frowned at her. “While I can’t vouch for the exactness of your human tests, mine are accurate.”
“Unless you count your flawed compatibility tests.”
“That is still up for debate, young woman.”
“How is this possible?” she whispered. She looked from Ellar, who had turned away and was watching moving images of her baby on the screen with interest, back to Juna, her trusted physician and friend.
“The reality is we don’t know. Each bonding appears different, the same as each transformation.”
“So, pretty much, we’re lost in the woods without a compass or a map. We’d make really bad Girl Scouts.”
“I don’t understand the last reference,” the alien physic stated, “however, you are correct about one thing. No one knows what to expect. Like the matings, we are meticulously studying all the variances with the pregnancies.”
Great, being studied at all sounded bad, but meticulously so was bound to be a real blast. “Do you have any idea why things have been so inconsistent?”
“Bringing two different species together will always involve unknown variables and new challenges, but in our case, Jarlan has a theory. You Earth females are very independent. Much more so than our women. And, considering the circumstances surrounding the first matings, volatile emotions have been involved. Take Eva, for example. She was determined to save your people and resisted the joining. It wasn’t until after she realized she loved Kerr and accepted him that she transformed. Except for you and Eva, the other captives yielded more readily to their mates. Those six transformed right away.”
“Except for Lana. Hers didn’t stick. She transformed, but changed back again.”
“I haven’t figured Lana’s situation out yet,” Juna chimed in. “And she refuses to come in and talk to me. She’s stubborn like someone else I know.”
A shroud of uncertainty hung over her, and dread for the inevitable confrontation with Ram loomed ahead—something she preferred to avoid as long as possible, which wouldn’t be allowed if the commander had a say in it. “What about Maggie and Roth?”
“What of them?” Juna switched off the device, and the image of her baby froze on the screen.
“How come they didn’t sicken while apart?”
“Another pair of fated mates whose joining was unconventional.” Ellar took the scanner from Juna, examining it. “Their breaching didn’t occur in the usual fashion.” He glanced up. “I mean, usual with, um, penetration.”
“He means it began with oral sex,” Juna supplied in a stage whisper, which prompted the other doctor’s face to flush crimson.
“It came down to the sharing of DNA through there, well, uh…” The man became flustered as he struggled with the subject of sex despite being an expert in both science and medicine. Although she couldn’t summon a shred of amusement herself, Juna was grinning out right. “Well, yes.” He dabbed at his damp brow. “I didn’t mention that their unconventional bonding was followed by a delayed transformation. The captain didn’t obtain Roth’s mark until after she accepted him as her mate.”
“Then Ram and I could remain unmated if we don’t accept one another?”
“Eryn, you carry his child, and you’ve told me you dream of him. Those could be mate dreams.”
“What are those?”
Juna again deferred to Ellar to explain.
“Our females often dream about the male who will be their mate. Not always, but it occurs most in those who have a particularly cogent bond.”
With a pang of disappointment, she glanced down at where her hands curved over her belly. “Then mine aren’t mate dreams because, A, we aren’t a good match. B, we didn’t bond with a regular breeching, which I’ve repeatedly told you. And C, we made each other miserable.”
“But your situation was extraordinary. Because of the capture, you couldn’t focus on anything aside from your mission.” She gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “This time, with the alliance between our people and working for a common good, it might be different. And don’t forget, together, you have a child on the way.”
“I might come to accept him, but I don’t see any way the reverse could be possible.” Her gaze cut to the physic. “Is it conceivable I could bond and he doesn’t?”
“A partial bonding?” Ellar stroked his bearded chin. “It is plausible, I suppose. It seems anything is these days. We would have to be certain it wasn’t complete. The commander didn’t show signs of sickness until he had proof—in their case, seeing Maggie had transformed and acquired his marking. They are fated mates separated for days. She became ill, yet he never did. There is a risk the same could be true for you and Master Ram until we know for sure.”
“This is true,” Juna agreed. “And is why I am recommending extreme caution after the delivery. You are going to have to work this out with him, Eryn.”
“I don’t want to be with him if he doesn’t want me, if he only wants our child.”
“Earth matings have been based on less, I’ve been told,” Ellar observed gravely.
“Yes,” Eryn exclaimed. “Throughout history, there have been marriages of convenience and unions based on money and power. Many of those ended up in bitter divorce, broken homes and absentee parents, and a long-ago war. The common denominator in them all? Misery for the couple.”
“By the Maker.” Ellar exhaled, with a slow shake of his head. “Your society does have a capricious past.”
As she closed her eyes, she imagined her child growing up in a cold home, with parents always at odds. She wanted a love like her mother and father shared, brief as it was, and the joy their happiness brought to her life, and she wanted the same for her child. “This is bad because I don’t think marriage—rather mating—is meant for me.”
“Is the alternative for you?” Juna countered. “What if you have partially bonded, and, after the baby is born, he leaves, taking your baby with him.”
“He wouldn’t!” Eryn cried.
“You don’t think, after all we’ve been through, he would consider leaving his child here?” Ellar exclaimed, his usually calm voice rising an octave. “The notion is inconceivable for one of our males.”
“And you must think about what could happen if you are partially bonded, and he is not.” Juna paused long enough to grip her hand. “You could die, Eryn, and your baby would be without a mother. You have to think this through.”
“You forget, if he takes it away, my child wouldn’t have a mother anyway, Juna.”
“This conversation is a waste of time. A Primarian warrior would never abandon his mate, much less the mother of his child,” Ellar barked.
So, her choice became misery or potential death.
On this ominous note, she swung her legs over the side of the table. “Can I go now?”
“Yes, but you’re progressing so fast, I’ll want to see you in a week. You need to stay hydrated and eat properly. Controlled weight gain, nutrition, sleep, all impact the growth and development of your child, and are very important until delivery.”
“I understand.” She moved toward the little anteroom where she’d left her clothes.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, Juna. I need time to think.”
“You have about three more weeks,” Ellar advised.
“Please don’t do anything rash,” her friend urged.
She didn’t make any promises as she closed the door between them.
In a daze, her brain swirling w
ith the possibilities, she somehow dressed, left the clinic, and, before she knew how she’d gotten there, stood on her front steps. The notion she could have stepped into oncoming traffic and wouldn’t have had a clue until too late gave her a momentary fright. With leaden feet and a heavy heart, she slogged up the stairs of her three-story walk-up.
9
With the departure of the Intrepid only hours away, Ram went about his final preparations with a bounce to his step. The prospect of home made him lighthearted for the first time in months. So much, he found himself whistling an inane tune stuck in his head.
Stifling a chuckle and setting his mind to business, he climbed the steps to his commander’s office. Roth hadn’t indicated why he’d called this last minute, unscheduled meeting. Another unexpected dilemma or tragedy in the eyes of the nervous humans who were making the journey with him would be his guess. Although, he couldn’t fault the new mates for being anxious, this being their first space voyage. The government officials seemed as nervous, for no good reason, in his opinion.
Two months prior, the Dauntless made a similar return trip, the exception, their passengers included a team of over two dozen Earth scientists and the first two construction crews who had signed on to the new colony project. Although the Primarians had the data they needed, the still-hesitant leaders of the alliance countries wanted corroboration from their own experts. Ever since, glowing reports flooded in daily about the new world the humans would soon call home.
Game and plant life were plentiful, as was water, though not to the extent on Earth, but all of it fresh, not the brine that made up so much of their world now. The atmosphere, though a little thinner than they were used to, wasn’t anything they couldn’t adapt to. With the planet’s orbit and its proximity to the twin suns, New Earth had three climate zones—one temperate with seasons, a subtropical zone with abundant rain and warm temperatures, and one arid and hot year-round. Although smaller than Earth, with neither extreme desert heat or frigid polar zones, most of the planet was habitable. Comparing the positive differences between the two— in particular the stability of its core—made the new world vastly more appealing.
Physically, this would be an easy move for them. Socially and psychologically, however, it posed great obstacles. While Primaria faced the challenge of integrating new mates into one established society, the colonists would be melding twenty-five diverse cultures into one on a new world. The complexity of how it would evolve boggled the mind.
Each participating nation had agreed to unify under one governing body, a United Planetary Council. It remained to be seen if that continued when the small colony grew into a well-populated world. Primaria was prepared to take on an active, supportive role, providing security, resources, and guidance for a period of ten Earth years. Afterward, they would continue as allies, assisting when needed, but, by then, the humans should be able to fend for themselves.
Building this new world would take years, especially since updates on the progress toward making the planet ready for millions of people to call home weren’t glowing. Two construction teams could accomplish only so much. Even with seven more crews leaving for the colony tomorrow, it wouldn’t be nearly the number they needed.
Although uncertain, Ram suspected this as the reason for his summons to headquarters today. Issues with one contractor or another having specific demands or requirements during the upcoming trip, no doubt. As the captain of the ship, he expected Allon to be there to problem solve with them.
At the top of the stairs, he turned right and strode down the hall. Then he laughed, finding the silly song had started playing again, and this time, he was humming. Determined not to let anything spoil his rare good mood, he knocked on Roth’s door, barely waiting for his call to enter before doing so.
“You wanted to see me, Commander?”
“Allay the formalities, Ram,” his superior grumbled. “Or did someone else trounce me at a game of one-on-one last evening, trash-talking my defense and lead feet the entire time?”
Grinning, Ram recalled executing what the Earth soldiers who taught them the game called a “three-pointer from downtown” over his shorter—though not by much—commander’s head to win with a buzzer beater.
Although they’d known each other for years, with Roth away on fleet business most of the time, and Ram in the Primarian Army, they had little interaction except during leadership council meetings with Max Kerr. That changed when the Earth females entered their lives, as had almost everything else. And they’d become much closer since coming to the human planet three months prior.
A sudden bitterness burned in the back of his throat—jealousy. Roth had been fortunate when he found his fated mate in Maggie, as had Kerr, who awaited the arrival of his first child by Eva, in the next few weeks. Seeing his friends so blessed, when he hadn’t been so fortunate, disappointed him, but some failed interspecies matings were to be expected. This knowledge didn’t make the pain of not bonding with the female he thought would be his forever any easier.
“Sit down, my friend. I have grave yet exciting news to share of a personal nature.”
“Is it from home? Kerr’s mate has delivered? Did she have complications?”
“No, this isn’t about the Prima,” he reassured him. “She is fine, I’m told.”
“Thank the Maker. Then what can be so grave?” He had family on Primaria, his sisters, all mated and well cared for. Otherwise, he had no idea what this could be about. Roth gestured for him to take a seat, waiting until he folded into one of the large leather chairs in front of his desk before continuing.
“It’s Eryn.”
Although every day the other Earth females surrounding him reminded him of her, Ram had difficulty tamping down the emotions the sound of her name roused within him. It shocked him Roth would bring her up now.
“What of her?” he bit out.
“She is stationed here on the base.
“This isn’t information requiring a face-to-face meeting,” he grumbled. “A vid-message would have sufficed if you felt the need to share.”
Roth appeared unfazed by his gruff reaction. “I saw Eryn today in medical. She was there because she is expecting a child.”
Currents of white-hot pain pierced his chest, followed by a raging rush of emotions. Hurt came foremost, that she’d so easily found someone here on her planet she cared for enough to breed with. The image of her with another set his teeth on edge and turned to jealous anger. Down deep, he wanted to find the man and break his neck, after he separated his limbs from his body.
Mine! The word boomed like a thunderclap in his head.
Although untrue, much to his dismay, he couldn’t tamp down the irrational feelings of possession and rage sweeping through him. After all this time, somehow, he still felt a claim to her, the likely reason he hadn’t gone to the council for dissolution and ended their match for good.
But the thought of another having her, touching her, and fucking her, no matter the extent of his anger, was abhorrent. He’d tried to forget her both in mind and in body, by bedding a string of unmated, incompatible females. But he couldn’t replace the softness of her skin, the vibrancy of her coloring, or the sweet, delicious scent exclusive to Eryn. And the fact he couldn’t purge her from his system only angered him further. Especially now, more so now, as his body hardened at the provocative memories of her.
While he tried to control the rising need to act against this unknown man, his body shook with tension. A loud crack resounded in the room. Looking down, he saw both wooden arm rests had snapped within his iron grip.
He surged to his feet and stalked to the window, setting his back to Roth. He’d done a poor job concealing his fury. The least he could do was hide the obvious bulge of his rigid cock from his commander. “Why are you telling me this?”
“There is more.”
“No, there is nothing more.”
“Ram—”
“We failed to bond.” He struggled to control the frustra
ted growl rising within him. “And she chose to go home as allowed by the treaty.” Gruff and strained, he cleared his throat to steady his voice. “If there is nothing else—”
“There is something else, and you will hear me out, dammit. So sit your ass down and be silent,” his superior boomed, in an unmistakable order.
Although he wanted to shout, curse, and slam out of the room, Ram, a well-trained warrior, obeyed his commander, but when he went to take his seat, he found it destroyed. “I’ll spare the rest of your furniture.” He stood at attention, hands clasped behind his back. “I won’t lose control again.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the damn chairs.”
Any other time, Ram would have chuckled at how readily Earth curses flew from his friend’s mouth. Right now, the last thing he wanted to do was laugh.
“I don’t know how to put this other than to blurt it out,” Roth muttered. “The child Eryn carries is yours.”
Impossible, his reeling mind shouted. “She’s lying, which is something she is adept at.”
“Not this time—”
“She didn’t transform. We didn’t bond. No way is it mine.”
“You never breached her?”
Ram scowled, refusing to respond, which was as good as an answer.
“Over the past six months, what I’ve learned about mating with Earth females is to expect the unexpected, and that anything is possible.”
Obviously, he referred to the delayed transformation with Maggie. And the near-death separation sickness experienced by their Princep when his Prima and fated mate. Kerr had been near death before Eva’s timely return, and her intimate reconnection brought him back from the brink.
His gaze shifted, staring blankly at nothing as he tried to process what he’d been told, but couldn’t. “It’s inconceivable,” he whispered before he glanced back to Roth. “How do you explain conception by an unbonded female?”
“I can’t. Neither can Ellar, nor could Jarlan when they consulted him. However, the facts are indisputable. They ran the child’s cell sample through our data base. One match came up—you, my friend. Think of it, Ram, in a few weeks, you’ll be a father.”
His Rebellious Mate (Primarian Mates Book 3) Page 11