“But we only joined once.”
Roth chuckled. “You know as well as I do, that’s all it takes.”
True, and he’d never forget his one time with Eryn.
It happened the day of the mine explosion and the females’ escape. Somehow, Eryn became deeply involved in it all. He shouldn’t have been surprised—she’d told him often enough she’d do anything to escape and return to her ship and her mission. Except, as they spent more time together, she’d softened, talking to him more, laughing, and at times, welcoming his touch—or at least becoming accustomed to it. He’d begun to think she was coming to accept him as her mate. But every time she’d flashed her pretty green eyes or gave him her soft smiles, all while sleeping in his arms, had been a ploy to cover up her plotting with the Purists.
The pain of her betrayal cut deep, especially when he remembered their last day together.
If what Roth told him turned out to be true, could he set aside what she’d done and move forward with the mother of his child? A niggling seed of hope began to grow inside him.
“You said she’s due in a few weeks.” He did the math in his head. “It’s been six months. Isn’t it too soon? Don’t human females carry for nine?”
“Typically, yes. Although like Eva, her pregnancy is progressing at a more rapid rate. Ellar thinks they may be closer to the Primarian gestation period of seven.”
He shook his head in wonder. “I’m going to be a father.”
Grinning broadly, Roth nodded. “Congratulations, my friend.”
“Thank you, but I have so many questions.” Unable to remain still any longer, Ram began to pace. “Why didn’t I succumb to separation sickness, other than it fucking with my head?”
“How so?”
“I dream of her every night.”
“Huh, it’s usually the female who has mate dreams.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Were they erotic?” Roth asked next.
He paused mid-stride, turning to face his longtime friend. “Even for you, that’s damn personal.”
“I didn’t ask for the intimate details,” he drawled with a chuckle, although it faded as he turned serious again. “I wonder…”
“What?” Ram prompted when he didn’t continue.
“Have you considered the possibility your dreams may have been a mild case of the hunger. Consciously, you didn’t have an outlet, so your subconscious created one.”
“I didn’t know that was possible.”
“I don’t know that it is, but stranger things have happened. If you recall, I didn’t get sick, nor did I experience the hunger until after Maggie got my mark. It’s another phenomenon no one can explain. Jarlan believes acceptance on the female’s part is the key.”
Ram snorted then looked away. “If that’s the case, we have a problem. Eryn hates me.”
“Funny, she assumed the same about you.”
Assailed by guilt upon hearing this, he wasn’t surprised, not after how he’d left things.
Roth rose from his chair, drawing his gaze. With his hands flat on his desk, he leaned forward, emphasizing his words. “You’re having a child together; the greatest gift from the Maker. You are mates. There is no out for either of you by our laws and by the treaty.”
“They will both be mine.”
“For eternity, my friend.”
“Where is she?” he demanded.
“In med-bay until 5:00 p.m. They’re holding her after the last test, monitoring the baby.”
“Is he at risk?” Fear for the child he’d only just learned existed twisted like a dagger in his heart. “Is Eryn?”
“No, both are well. I’m told the observation is just a precaution.”
He glanced at the clock. “Damn. I can’t get there in ten minutes. What I wouldn’t give for a teleporter.”
“I have something almost as good.”
“What?”
“Her address.” Roth held out a slip of paper. “You can have privacy for your discussion.”
Without hesitation, he snatched it from his commander’s fingers and rushed to the door.
“Ram?”
He stopped, glancing back.
“Take it from someone who has been there; be patient. Earth women can be exasperating as hell, but the rewards from their acceptance are boundless.”
“You’re saying what they put us through is worth it?”
“Every minute.”
He grunted. He’d been patient his two weeks with her and betrayal had been his reward. “I’ll have to take your word for it.”
10
An hour later, Eryn paced the floor in her apartment, nerves strung tight. Being suppertime, she needed to eat, but with her stomach in knots, she feared she wouldn’t keep anything down. Footsteps came from outside in the hall, and she froze. Her gaze shot to the door, expecting Ram to come bursting in. She’d reacted to noises like this since she’d gotten home. Every thud, squeaky floorboard, and slamming door made her jump, dread clenching her insides with the anticipation of their inevitable confrontation.
When the steps halted at her door this time, she spun around, searching for an escape option. She eyed the window. Three floors up, she quickly ruled it out. So, she held her breath, motionless as she stared at the door, reassured with both the lock and the dead bolt engaged. If she remained quiet, he might leave.
Damn! When had she become such a coward?
She held her breath when the door swung open a second later. Lana stepped in, pausing a foot inside with bags of groceries in her arms. “Eryn, what’s wrong?”
Her relief so great, she plopped down—before she fell down—onto the couch behind her.
“You’re shaking.” Concern filled her roommate’s face. “And white as a sheet. Are you ill?”
“No, but I could be.”
“What?”
“Actually, I probably will be by the time the night’s over.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Maybe I should call the doctor.”
“I just came from there.”
“Really? I’m so relieved. What did they say?”
“Everything is progressing normally, though they aren’t really sure, since normal hasn’t been defined yet in a human-Primarian pregnancy.”
“Let me put these down then you can tell me what else they said.” Bags crinkled as she dropped them on the counter, muttering, “I knew you weren’t three months along.”
“Go ahead and gloat. You win the prize of most annoying, know-it-all friend.”
“Like I need permission to say I told you so.” On her way to the couch, she halted. “Wait. Does Ram know?”
“No, but I’m sure Roth has shared the news by now. He was very insistent.”
Lana twisted around and rushed to the window. “I hate to tell you this, but I thought I saw him on my way home from the PX.”
“Are you sure it was him?” Eryn nearly shouted the question as she joined her at the window. Brushing the filmy drape aside, she pressed against the glass while straining to see down the street.
“I don’t know. Is he a big guy, about seven feet tall with long dark hair?”
“Very funny.” This description matched almost every Primarian male. “I’m serious.”
“It was him.” Lana stepped, allowing her side of the curtain to fall back in place. When she glanced her way, tension lined her face. “And he seemed pretty ticked.”
“How long before he gets here?”
“A few minutes. He’s on foot but really moving.”
“Dammit! I’m not ready for this.” In a panic, she hurried to the door. She’d go out the back, avoid him until she figured out what to say and what to do. It shouldn’t take long…a few hours, a couple of years, no more than a full decade.
Maybe she’d head west to the mountains. As a kid, she’d camped with her parents, and learned some skills. She’d become a mountain woman, living off the land, raising her son or daughter in peace. The baby kicked hard, eviden
tly not on board with the plan.
“Wyoming might be nice,” she murmured then swung open the door.
“You can’t go!” Lana warned. “You’d be AWOL. Besides, have you met these Primarian Warriors? He’ll come after you. Trask followed me across galaxies.”
Their eyes locked.
“It will be all right, Eryn. Talk to him. He won’t hurt you, and I doubt if he’ll spank you too hard while you’re pregnant.”
“Lana!”
“What? There’s no denying their nature. We both lived with one for weeks. And you teach classes on their ways for God’s sake.”
“I can’t think about this right now. I’ve got to go.”
“What you have to do is be rational. Don’t forget the treaty. It’s a capital crime to take a child from a Primarian parent, especially the father. If you run, you’d be a fugitive, Eryn.”
“Damn treaty!”
“Every U.S. Marshal in the country would be on your trail, not to mention Ram, who would employ the full power of their alien technology to hunt you down.”
“Thanks, Lana,” she snapped. “You’re making me feel so much better.”
“I’m trying to make you see reason. The males I’ve met are good men. A little intense sometimes, but they care.”
“So why did you leave?” she challenged.
“I had my reasons.”
“And I have my reasons not to stay here.”
A slamming door echoing throughout the corridor had her tensing. Footsteps sounded on the stairs. She raked her fingers through her hair, imagining his reaction at the news. After what had happened, how would he feel about being forever mated to a…a…?
She closed her eyes, unable to think the awful word while forcing herself to face the truth. Even before that unforgettable morning, their pairing had been disastrous. A captive, she’d been justified in her defiance but had pushed it too far in the end. Regret weighed heavy on her shoulders.
Yet, it had come ahead of an alliance, the signing of a treaty, and the droves of willing women who jumped at the opportunity to travel to another galaxy to become Primarian mates—inconceivable to some, but they had five thousand signed contracts and a waiting list with more. Back then, when they had been unwilling captives of barbaric aliens, everything had been different.
Silence followed another slamming door. “Not Ram,” she breathed in relief. But it was just a matter of time before he arrived and confronted her. “I need to go, to think.”
“Promise you won’t leave the base?”
She met Lana’s gaze, her friend’s eyes bright with unshed tears, her sympathy palpable.
“I’ll stay and face the music because, as you say, where on Earth would I go to escape him? But not now, not yet. Today has been, well, overwhelming doesn’t do it justice. I need more time if only a few hours.”
Letting the heavy door slam shut behind her, she hurried down the steps at the rear of the building. The metallic ring echoed in the stairwell, sounding censorious in her ears. Running was a stall tactic, nothing more, one she’d used repeatedly with Ram. But she needed a little time alone, because when he caught up with her, she doubted he’d let his baby out of his sight again.
11
Paused with a fist raised and ready to knock on the solid wood panel, Ram angled his head closer to listen. Hearing hushed conversation, he knocked. In his emotional state, he banged harder and louder than he’d intended, making the nearby light on the wall surge bright with a buzz before blinking out. The muffled voices inside went silent. An instant later, footsteps approached. He held his breath in anticipation of seeing her for the first time in months. When the door opened, he stared down into brown eyes instead of the vivid green he’d expected.
“Lana,” he said in confusion. “Where is Eryn? I was told she lives here.”
“She does. We’re roommates. But she left, Ram. She isn’t ready to talk to you.”
“I heard voices.” He looked past her shoulder, searching the room.
“It must have been the vid-screen.” The news was on behind her, but muted.
His eyes cut back to her. “Where did she go? Ready or not, she’ll have to talk to me.”
Her gaze shifted to the end of the hall. When his followed, he noted the lighted exit sign and started toward it.
“Wait.” She gripped his sleeve, her nails digging into his arm. As suddenly, she released him and stepped back. “I’m sorry. You must realize things have changed. She’s changed.”
“Haven’t we all? It’s no excuse for running to avoid difficulties.”
“You don’t understand. She hasn’t been well.”
“She’s ill? Why didn’t you say so?”
“Not in body, Ram.”
He stiffened. “It’s getting dark. I must find her.”
“She’s gone for a walk to think. And she’s heartsick over this, Ram.”
“Doubtful,” he scoffed. She’d been the one who left him, in an awkward position, at that. What right did she have to a troubled mind, except out of guilt, which was warranted?
“It’s true. You don’t know her like I do. About her past, what she endured.”
“She told me of her parents’ passing.”
Her head tipped to the side, and her eyes narrowed in confusion. “Her mother is gone, but her father isn’t dead, that we know of.”
“When she’d spoken of them, she used the word loss. I assumed—”
“Did she mention her brother,” Lana went on, “or her aunt and uncle?”
“No, what of them?”
“It isn’t for me to say.”
“You’ve opened this up, Lana. She isn’t going to tell me, so if it’s important, I need to hear it from you.”
She chewed on her bottom lip, indecision warring on her face, but he didn’t have all day. When he started to leave, she grabbed his arm again, as he expected.
“Fine,” she grumbled. “Her mother died right after she turned twelve, leaving her father distraught. He shut down, and it fell to her to care for her eight-year-old brother. She had to grow up fast when, out of grief, her dad turned to the bottle—that means drank alcohol in excess—and he lost his job. This went on for about a year until, without a word, he up and left.”
“He abandoned his children? What kind of male does that?”
“Sadly, it isn’t uncommon, but let me finish. Her aunt and uncle took them in, and the situation there wasn’t much better.”
“How so?”
“Her uncle made advances.”
He frowned. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“He took a sexual interest in Eryn.”
He flinched in shock. “Disgusting! At twelve, she was still a child.”
“Yes. She fended him off for a while, but it got worse as she developed. At fifteen, when he wouldn’t listen to ‘no’ any longer, she ran away, taking her brother, Jacob, with her. They lived on the streets until she found steady work. She took care of him until he was old enough to enlist in the military. With nothing to keep her here and no education to find a decent job, she enlisted, too.” When Lana’s gaze rose to his, a plea for understanding shone in her light-brown eyes. “Can you see from her upbringing why she doesn’t trust easily, especially men? And she’s independent, used to doing everything for herself from such a young age.”
“Her brother, where is he?”
“Killed in the line of duty.”
“Faex.” Much of her behavior was beginning to make sense, but could it justify what she’d done? “She has no one.”
“Only herself, and several good friends who care about her. At the time, duty and her mission came first, and she thought of little else—you must understand that. Then you came along, and whatever happened between you changed her, and shook her to her very core. She struggles with it, and it’s made her second-guess herself. For the bravest, most confident woman I’ve ever known, the change has been drastic.”
This gave him pause. He, too, was a pr
oduct of his childhood and the trauma of losing both parents at a young age. In addition, as a dedicated warrior, he understood commitment to a cause greater than himself, but did it excuse her lies, trickery, and betrayal?
He couldn’t deal with any of it until he found her and made her stay in one place long enough to talk to him.
“I must go find her.”
“Please, be kind.”
He bristled at the comment. “No matter what many of you humans think, we aren’t barbarians. Ours ways are different, but neither of you gave Trask or me a chance to prove we can be kind and caring, and also be good mates.”
“How is Trask?” Her tone might have sounded casual, but he could tell it took an extreme effort.
“Keeping busy,” he answered dismissively. She had devastated Trask, much the same as Eryn had done to him when she’d left.
“Has he found his mate?”
“No, he thought you were the one. You can understand it may take him time to get past it.”
She nodded, looking away.
“I must find Eryn.”
“Of course. She left by the back door. There is a path to the road by the ocean. She goes there to think sometimes.”
“By the public road? Is she insane with all the protests going on?”
“I saw that on the news just now. The last I knew, the demonstrations were peaceful and hadn’t spread beyond the major cities. I don’t think Eryn was aware, either.”
“We had trouble here last night and again this morning.”
Her eyes darted to the windows at the end of the hall. “We’re fenced in, and the area where she walks is wooded with lots of shade. There’s a good chance she won’t be seen or bothered.”
But she spoke to the back of his head as he strode to the stairwell. Taking the steps two at a time, he moved down the three flights in a flash.
“Headstrong woman,” he muttered. “Thinks she’s invincible. We’ll have to work hard to curb that impulse.”
On the ground floor, he burst through the door, searching the wooded area behind the building, frowning when he realized it covered acres.
His Rebellious Mate (Primarian Mates Book 3) Page 12