by Kat Mizera
“Son, why are you doing this to yourself?” Evgeni opened a drawer and pulled out a bottle of vodka, pouring two shots for them. He handed one to Vlad and then downed his own.
Vlad hesitated a moment and finally tossed it back, letting it burn as he swallowed. “I need to know,” he said at last. “I can’t get on with my life until I know where I came from. How can I be a father if I can’t tell my kids what their heritage is?”
Evgeni shook his head. “This is ridiculous. Their heritage is you—and their mother. You come from strong Russian stock. What else is there? The life you lead, the example you set, that is your legacy, not the man who impregnated the woman who gave birth to you. What if he was a murderer? A pimp? A fucking psychopath? What’s the point of having that information? You’re not any of those things and you never will be. Maybe that’s why your mother gave you away, so you wouldn’t know that life.”
“I still want to know.”
“And I still don’t have any more information than I’ve given you.”
The two men stared each other down until Vlad got to his feet. “Then I guess we’re done here.”
“That’s it? Your only interest in seeing me was to get information?”
Vlad hesitated. “No, of course not. I’m sorry, I just… I can’t seem to get past it and now that I’m here, I’m going to do everything in my power to get the answers I’m looking for. Unfortunately, time is short because training camp starts in a little over a week.”
“I’ll make a deal with you.”
Vlad raised his eyebrows in silent question.
“Come to practice tomorrow, give the boys a day they’ll never forget, out there on the ice with them and I’ll tell you how to contact Natalya.”
Vlad’s mouth fell open. “You know where she is?”
“She married my son.”
“She married…” Vlad’s voice faded and he cleared his throat. “Your son?”
“She was a nice girl, hand-picked for you. She wasn’t like the others, and when you left for America, she was lost. She had nothing and wound up on the streets, but she wasn’t cut out for that life. Her first night out she was badly beaten. She had nowhere else to go, so she came to the rink, to me. I brought her home, to my family, and my son was immediately taken with her. They fell in love, got married, and now I have a grandson.”
“You think she knows something?”
“She would know who her pimp was, who first contacted her. I don’t know, never thought to ask, but if you’ll do this favor for me, I’ll tell you where to find her. Just promise me you don’t cause trouble for her and Kosta.”
“Of course not.” Vlad scowled at him. “She was my friend—I would never do anything to hurt her or her family.”
“I’ll see you here first thing in the morning, nine o’clock. I’ll have equipment for you.”
Vlad made a face as he got to his feet. “Yes, all right. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“And Vlad?”
“Yes?”
“Take care you don’t bite off more than you can chew.”
“I hope not.” Vlad walked out towards the front, so much running through his mind he felt a slight headache coming on. He needed food and a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow would be exhausting, no matter what. He was in shape, ready to start hockey season, but he hadn’t been on skates in over a week and now he was going to get on the ice with twenty or thirty teenagers. It would be a good distraction, though, despite the inevitable publicity. He yearned to reach out to Rachel, tell her what he’d found out so far, but she wasn’t talking to him and had asked him not to contact her.
Sighing heavily, he trudged out to his rental car. Without Rachel, he didn’t know if any of this was worth it. If only he’d been able to let it go, to move on without finding out who he was. There was simply no way to have the life he wanted with her without answers about his past. Now it looked like he might find what he was looking for but Rachel wouldn’t be there when he did. Resting his head against the back of the seat, he focused on what he had to do here in Russia. Everything else, even Rachel, had to wait.
9
Rachel dreaded going back to work, but everyone knew she wasn’t on her honeymoon so it seemed silly to stay home in hiding. The press had been camped out in front of her house since she got back from Las Vegas, but the crowd had thinned and she’d hired a bodyguard to escort her to and from the lot where Vampire Legend was filmed. She’d called the producer, Bud Hendricks, and told him she desperately needed to come back to work. She’d taken a few days off but all she did was sleep, and that just made her more depressed. Going back to work would get her mind off things even though she would have to deal with tons of questions from her co-workers.
She would have preferred to just disappear and had even considered going on the honeymoon by herself but going alone wouldn’t be any fun and there was no one else to go. Ashleigh was pregnant and had to be on set anyway, she didn’t get along with her mother well enough to spend ten days at a resort with her, and most of her other friends were men. She’d gotten to know some of the Sidewinders’ wives, but now that she and Vlad had broken up, she didn’t know if those friendships would continue.
She’d just gotten into the car hired to drive her to work when her phone rang. It was Jamie, and she smiled as she answered. “Hey.” He’d called every day since the day after the wedding and she’d never been more grateful for their amicable break-up than now.
“How’s it going?”
“Ugh. Don’t ask.”
“Going to work today?”
“Yeah.”
“It’ll be okay. The gang on the show love you.”
“Yeah, but they’ll all want to hear everything, and if I say I don’t want to talk about it, they’ll be cool, but it’ll be hanging over my head because we’re close, so eventually they’ll expect details.”
“Technically, you don’t have any details. Tell them that. Tell them you honestly don’t know what happened, that you and Vlad haven’t talked other than a few meaningless texts.”
“And flowers.”
“What?”
“I got an incredible bouquet yesterday morning. It was delivered to the set, but Ashleigh took a picture of it and brought me home the note.”
“What did it say?”
“I love you. That’s all it said: I love you.”
“I’m telling you, Rach—something is up. This wasn’t because he doesn’t love you.”
“I can’t deal, Jamie. I just can’t.” Her voice broke. “I did nothing but sleep for three days and I’m still exhausted. I miss him so much but can’t afford to fall apart, so I’m going to work and putting on my most calm, relaxed face.”
“You don’t have to,” he pointed out. “Come to Vegas, stay with us…”
“You already have a houseful.” She laughed. “Emilie and Chains, Simone, Viggo and Misty—what would you do with me?” Jamie lived with his husband Viggo, Viggo’s ex-wife Emilie and her boyfriend Chains, Viggo and Emilie’s toddler Simone, and Jamie’s friend Misty, who was their nanny. They had a big house, but Rachel would undoubtedly be in the way.
“We’d make room,” he said gently. “Always.”
She sighed. “Thanks for being here for me, Jamie.”
“You were one of the first people at my side after my attack,” he said quietly. “So I’m always going to be here for you. Always.”
“I know.”
She was greeted by lots of hugs when she got to the set and was surprised when Bud handed her a clipboard.
“Congratulations,” he said dryly. “Marshall has the flu and we can’t afford to lose another day—you’re directing.”
“What?” She gaped at him. “Is this some kind of joke? Because I don’t think I’m ready to—”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve been on the show since day one and you know exactly what needs to happen no matter what’s going on. No one is ready until the first time they do it. Go on and get started, I
have a conference call now but then I’ll join you.” He disappeared around the corner and Rachel stared at Ashleigh, who was chuckling.
“Is Marshall really sick?” Rachel demanded.
“He wasn’t here yesterday, either.” One of her co-stars, Ricky Shay, shrugged.
Rachel had to admit, as far as distractions went, this was a good one. It was two thirty before she realized how much time had passed and one of the runners brought her a salad. She took it to her trailer and put it on the table, sinking into a chair and leaning back, exhausted. It had been fun, but she was tired and felt like she was getting her period even though she’d just had one two weeks ago. Her periods had been off all summer, but she’d been so busy planning the wedding she hadn’t given it much thought.
After sleeping late all summer, it had been hard getting up at five thirty in the morning for work. Even after three days of sleep, she still didn’t feel caught up but figured it was due to stress, her crazy periods and hiding just how badly her heart was broken. She’d cried the day of the wedding, and most of the night, but other than getting teary-eyed a few times, she hadn’t cried again. She was angry now, anxious to move on with her life and forget she’d ever met him.
She’d known dating another member of the Sidewinders might be a disaster, but she’d never imagined something like this happening. Breaking her heart had always been possible, but leaving her at the altar with the lamest explanation ever had been above and beyond anything she thought Vlad capable of. It hurt so much she didn’t know how to handle it, so she’d focused on simply pretending it hadn’t happened. If she could avoid it until the pain burned itself out, maybe she’d be able to move on. Until then, she had to hold her head high. She hadn’t done anything wrong and refused to be embarrassed. Whatever was going on with Vlad was his problem and she was done with him.
She hadn’t realized she’d dozed off until she felt someone shaking her shoulder.
“Rach? Hon, you’ve been asleep over an hour and we’ve got to get back to work. You okay?” Ashleigh was leaning over her worriedly.
Rachel blinked and sat up. “Um, yeah, sorry. I guess I’m struggling to get back into the swing of things. Tell everyone I need five minutes to grab a drink and I’ll be out.”
“Okay.” Ashleigh ducked back out and Rachel reluctantly got to her feet. She’d fallen asleep in the middle of the day. Did a broken heart do that? The truth was, she’d been falling asleep a lot lately. Vlad had been teasing her about sleeping until noon on the weekends and in retrospect, it wasn’t normal. She’d passed it off as wedding stress on top of the long hours she put in, but a tiny bit of genuine concern had begun to creep in. Maybe it was time to schedule a physical and talk to her doctor. She had weird periods happening, too, which was mildly worrisome.
I better not be pregnant. They’d had a scare back in July and though Vlad hadn’t been upset, she wasn’t ready to be a mother. Now that they’d broken up, the last thing she wanted was to have to call and tell him she was pregnant.
“Please tell me I’m not pregnant,” was the first thing she said to her doctor a week later at her follow-up visit.
Dr. Marian Collins shook her head. “No, there’s no elevated HCG. However, your pap smear revealed something we need to talk about.”
“What?” Rachel was caught off-guard.
“Well, there were some abnormal cells. Normally, a pap smear only detects cervical cancer, but sometimes there are endometrial cells as well, which is what was found.”
“Endometrial…” Rachel’s heart started to pound harder as she struggled to wrap her head around what the doctor was saying.
“I want to do an ultrasound and a biopsy. I think we should schedule them right away. If it is cancer, early detection and treatment is key.”
“Are you saying I have cancer?” Rachel’s stomach clenched painfully at the thought.
“They found cancerous cells in the pathology report, so that means there’s probably something there. The good news is, endometrial cancer is highly curable, but we need to move quickly to ensure it doesn’t spread.”
“Is this cervical cancer?”
“No. Endometrial cancer is inside the uterus. When it spreads, it usually gets to the cervix next, which is why I want to schedule you for a biopsy immediately. Tomorrow, in fact, if that works for you.”
“I, uh…” Rachel couldn’t even think. “Um…”
“Do you want to call someone?” Dr. Collins asked gently. “I know you recently called off your wedding, but it might be helpful if you had someone here with you.”
“I don’t… My best friend is at work and my family lives out of state. Just tell me what has to happen.”
“A biopsy, ultrasound, and maybe a CT scan, depending on what we find.”
“And if it’s definitely cancer?”
“A hysterectomy is the best chance of getting rid of everything.”
“What about chemotherapy? Radiation?”
“You’re getting way ahead of yourself,” the doctor responded gently. “If we get to the point of a hysterectomy, the surgeon would probably take some lymph nodes as well, to make sure it hasn’t spread. But we’re still a long way from that. The first thing we need to do is…”
She continued to talk but Rachel was too shocked and terrified to absorb any more information. She was focused on just one word: cancer. She had cancer. And she was more alone than she’d ever been in her life.
10
Eight months earlier
Vlad got to the locker room in the nick of time, knowing he was almost late. He and Rachel had lost track of time in her hotel room, talking, laughing and making out. He’d nearly fallen off the couch when he’d realized how late it had gotten. Luckily, Rachel was pretty easygoing, grabbing her purse and immediately announcing she was ready. Even though her lipstick had smudged and her shirt was rumpled. He’d laughingly wiped her face before they hurried to the elevator.
Based on the way Brock was looking at him, he probably had a stupid grin on his face, but there didn’t seem to be anything he could do about it.
“What the hell happened to you the other night?” Brock was asking. “I got back to the room about six a.m. and you weren’t there.”
“Met someone.” He shrugged. “Went to her room.”
“Yeah?” Brock wiggled his eyebrows. “Hot?”
Vlad just smiled, starting to pull on his equipment.
Toli sank down beside him, searching his face. “So, what happened?” he asked in Russian, since no one else knew about Rachel.
“She’s great,” he replied in kind. “I really like her.”
“What about all the sexual tension?” his friend teased.
Vlad turned to him, his face serious. “We haven’t slept together. We’re going to wait.”
Toli’s mouth fell open and he snapped it shut before bursting out laughing.
Zakk Cloutier glanced over at them and scowled. “If it’s that funny, would you speak English already?”
The look of panic on Vlad’s face made Toli laugh harder, though he continued to speak in Russian. “So you really like her, eh?”
“Stop laughing!” Vlad looked so miserable Toli took pity on him.
“Look, I think it’s great—but why the hell are you waiting?”
Vlad sighed. “I don’t know. The words came out of my mouth like diarrhea and then I couldn’t stop talking and then she agreed and now I have to wait until we go to Anaheim.” He finished in a rush that had Toli laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach.
“How come we don’t get to know what’s funny?” Zakk grumbled.
“Asshole!” Vlad grunted at Toli in English. “I never tell you shit again.”
Toli put a hand on his friend’s arm, his eyes serious as he continued in Russian, though he was still chuckling. “If this is something that’s working for the two of you, so what if you wait two weeks for sex? It’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know anything
about romance,” Vlad grumbled. “She started talking about the difference between making love and fucking—I have no idea what that means.”
Toli smiled. “That’s not something I can explain—you can only feel it. The first time you truly make love to a woman you’ll know.”
Vlad met his friend’s gaze. “Did you feel this the first time you slept with Tessa?”
“Not the first time,” Toli admitted. “I think it was our second trip together—not the second time we had sex, but our second time together as a couple since we had to do the long-distance thing for a little while.”
“That’s not helpful.” Vlad tried to focus on getting dressed.
“Don’t let her get in your head,” Toli said gently. “Everything will happen the way it’s supposed to. Is she here tonight?”
He nodded. “She would not sit with the others—she’s by herself. She’s wearing my jersey from the World Junior Championships when I was fifteen.”
Toli tried to hide his smile as he looked at his friend. “That’s really great. When will you see her after tonight? Anaheim?”
Vlad nodded.
“Finish getting dressed—it’s going to be okay.” Toli went to his own locker, leaving Vlad to his thoughts.
When Vlad put the third puck in the net that night, scoring the first hat trick of his career, he became acutely aware there was something special about the woman in the crowd who’d brought him luck. As his teammates piled on top of him on the ice, he felt a rush of pride and camaraderie. He managed to get back to his feet and looked in Rachel’s direction in the stands. She was standing on her seat jumping up and down, a huge smile on her face. For the first time in his life, Vlad thought he might be a little bit in love.
“Game isn’t over,” Toli whispered in Russian. “Stop looking at her!”