The Shepard's Agony

by Mandy Rosko

She shivered, partly due to the touch and the adrenaline from screaming her head off, but also because he was right.

  She’d forgotten all about it. When that man was hacking his own arm off, she stood stock still. Anyone could’ve come up to her and blown her head off and she wouldn’t have known it was coming until it was too late.

  “You …”

  “I didn’t just grab you and take you away, Gwen. I watched your back until I could get you out of there. There wasn’t anything I could’ve done for anyone else.”

  His hand slid lower to cup her cheek, his face dangerously close to hers. Her heart was still pounding, but not because she was angry anymore.

  “And, the address book?”

  To his credit, he managed to look ashamed. “I didn’t know they would find it, so I didn’t worry about it. I only know it’s gone because you just told me.”

  She stared him in the eyes, trying to find some truth.

  “I don’t want to see you get hurt,” he hesitated and smiled. “No matter how mad you are at me.”

  “I can take care of myself,” she said.

  He smirked. “So you’ve said.”

  And they kissed each other. Gwen felt that same tingling feeling that spread through her body when he touched her in the motel room. Only, this time she wasn’t tied up. She freely wrapped her arms around his neck when Shepard pushed her back into the wall. His weight was crushing her, but she didn’t mind. She liked it, wanted more of it.

  Despite how roughly he treated her with his body, he massaged her lips softly with his own, his beard scratching and tickling her mouth and chin until she pressed back hard and bit into his bottom lip.

  He groaned.

  Slow kissing was romantic and all, but Gwen liked it rougher. She especially liked getting him in the mood to give it to her like that.

  Shepard complied and grabbed her breast roughly through her shirt, making her cried out.

  “I think I’d like to see that birth mark of yours again,” he said when he pulled away, a wicked grin on his face.

  Gwen sure as hell knew it would be a bad idea, but, at that moment, she didn’t care. She didn’t care that he was a hunter or that she was still angry with questions that needed answering. She would have let him do whatever he wanted with her, good or bad, without caring one whiff, but a pounding on the door broke them apart.

  “Who’s in there? I need to use the washroom!” Not John or anyone else in the pack, just a human, an older one from the sound of it. Probably a patient.

  “Go somewhere else!” David yelled back.

  Gwen could feel him through his jeans and sensed the frustration that soaked him. She wasn’t in much better shape, but the interruption was enough to get her thinking.

  “You ain’t the janitor, there’s not a sign on the door.”

  Gwen didn’t know whether to be mortified, burst out laughing, or both. She settled for mortified and quickly straightened her clothes.

  David looked at her as if she’d just taken away his favorite toy.

  “This wasn’t going to happen anyway so don’t look at me like that.” She ran her fingers through her hair, honestly not sure if it would or wouldn’t have happened at all.

  I’ve got to stop this, I need to have more control. I need to stop talking to myself. She made to walk off, but he grabbed her arm.

  “We’re not done yet.”

  She looked back at him and decided to show some pity. “When this is over—” If it ever ends, she thought. “—I’ll show you my birthmark again.”

  The pounding continued against the door. “What are you doing in there? You got a woman in there? It’s the men’s room!”

  Gwen unlocked the door and slammed it open, giving the man on the other side a half a second to jump back before his face was hit with the door.

  “Thank you.” She smiled at him and went to sit on a bench, David trailing behind her, not knowing if the thank you she gave was genuine or sarcastic.

  ***

  “How can you trust a doctor who takes bribes? What kind of doctor is he anyway?” David asked, needing something else to think about. The clock on the wall said four a.m. and all he could think about was kissing Gwen in the men’s room and where it would have led if that elderly patient hadn’t interfered.

  “A good one,” Gwen said. “Doc takes bribes because he has to so he can see us under the table,” she defended. It wasn’t like he could put in his paperwork, “arm bitten off by werewolf,” or have any of their blood tested. If there was a case where the patient didn’t have the money on them right away, Doc saw them anyway. “He’ll need to take a look at you, too.”

  “I know,” he said, grumbling. Not that it would do any good since they all thought he was a goner.

  Shepard stopped scratching at the cut and turned away from her, the very thought making him angry all over again.

  “I’m sorry,” Gwen whispered. She could tell he was angry about being scratched and his upcoming change; with good reason due to the risks.

  “For what? You didn’t do this to me,” he muttered, a fresh hatred for John in mind.

  For a moment she didn’t answer him. It was true, she hadn’t done it to him, but if she hadn’t thrown him out of the truck, John wouldn’t have taken the opportunity to scratch him. She was still waiting for him to get out of the room with Doc so she could scream at him. She wanted to punch and kick and scream until she couldn’t scream any more. All because of John’s foolishness, David was possibly facing the last hours of his life.

  The thought made her eyes burn; she had to blink it away before the burn could turn into tears. She wanted to be strong for him and promised herself she could cry later when she was alone.

  “Would it really be so bad? Being a werewolf?” she asked after a time. Part of her just wanted to know how he would feel about it should he somehow survive.

  Shepard briefly wondered why she would ask him such a thing when she knew perfectly well it wouldn’t get to that. “My father kills werewolves, so do my brothers, even me at one time. You know that. They’ll want to kill me now, too.”

  She reached a hand out to touch his arm, but pulled back at the last second, grabbing and holding on to his hand instead.

  He turned to look at her, eyes wide at the gesture, and squeezed her hand as he melted.

  “Maybe your dad will accept you?” she asked.

  He let go of her hand and stepped away. “My father hates werewolves.”

  Of course he does, Gwen thought with a sigh. In a perfect world, his father wouldn’t hate werewolves, and in that world she and David would have met each other, fallen in love, and been happy without that void between them.

  “But, you’re his son,” she pressed. “He can’t hate werewolves that much.”

  Shepard opened his mouth, hesitated, and then spoke. “I never told you that I was named after my older brother, did I?”

  Gwen blinked, she knew he had three brothers from the questions she’d asked him in the car, which was surprising because most Shepard stories spoke of a family of at least ten, but there was another he didn’t tell her about? “Another older brother?”

  “Yeah, his name was David, too. He died before I was born.”

  “What happened to him?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but if it would provide her with the answers she needed then it had to be done.

  “A werewolf bit him. Got onto our farm and tore his arm nearly right off before my father could kill it.” She watched him clench his fist around his cut. “He didn’t know werewolves existed before that.”

  Gwen’s stomach clenched. Of course there were werewolf horror stories like that, just as there were stories of serial killers who hunted homeless teenagers. But, whenever a werewolf was the killer, the story became that much more gruesome, and werewolves everywhere suffered for it.

  “I’m sorry.” It seemed as if she was apologizing a lot lately.

  Shepard shrugged. “Don’t be. I didn’t even know about
him until Jimmy told me the story.”

  Gwen didn’t need to be told how the boy died. With a wound so severe, he wouldn’t even make it to the first change.

  So, that was where the Shepards got their connection to werewolves. It was a personal vendetta. A man out to avenge a dead son.

  Despite all the hatred the Underworld held for the Shepards, a hatred that she too held at one time, she couldn’t help but find it incredibly sad. If she were to lose her father, who was standing guard over Bill’s bed at that very moment, she didn’t know what she would do. In a strange sort of way, she almost didn’t blame David’s father, but felt pity. She would have to remember to replace that pity with the instinct to survive if she ever came face to face with him, otherwise he would kill her.

  So much for pity.

  “Did you want to know the bad part?” Shepard asked. This time, he looked at her.

  “There’s more?” she asked.

  He let out a dark sort of laugh, shaking his head. “There’s always more. If my father finds out about this,” he pointed to the long scratch on his arm. “He’s going to kill me rather than let me change because that’s how David died.”

  Gwen’s mouth fell open and stayed that way. With the way he told the story, she was sure the poor boy would have bled to death before he could change. She’d watched as bitten children cried and screamed until, finally, they would stop screaming in some half human-half wolf state. It was horrifying, even to her and she knew what to expect. She was grateful she’d only seen it once in her life. Once was enough, hopefully she’d never see it again.

  “But, the thing is, he actually thinks I am David.”

  What the—? “You mean, the other David?”

  Shepard nodded. “That’s the one. He likes to think I’m his reincarnation or something. When I was a kid and we’d go out hunting, I never knew why he’d tell me to get revenge for what they did to me. I still wouldn’t know if Jimmy hadn’t told me.”

  Now Gwen was mortified. Not for herself or for Bill or even the rest of the pack, but for him. She couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to live in the image of a dead sibling; to be compared to someone who died so young and innocent for so many years was something she just couldn’t comprehend. It was no wonder Garrett Shepard was out to get werewolves. Watching a son die in the middle of a change would drive anyone to insanity.

  He stood there tall and proud despite his story. Even with the hurt she could hear in his voice, she could see by his posture that his past hadn’t broken him. She not only saw it, she’d seen it previously when they were dating, when he laughed and kissed her. For a few seconds, she was proud of him and envious that he could be so strong and survive so much, but then she brought herself back to the topic at hand.

  “And your brothers just let him think this? They don’t say anything?”

  Shepard sighed. “They seem to think that it keeps him sane. It is relatively harmless,” he said, sounding as though he were making excuses.

  Gwen took his hand into hers and held on for support. Even when he tried to pull away again, she just glared at him and held on tighter. “Well, like it or not, you’re one of us now. I’ll be there for you when you have your first change.” She almost made herself believe he would survive. Regardless of the outcome, she meant what she said. When it came time for him to change, she would be there with him. She promised both herself and him that the last thing he saw before he changed would be her smiling face. He’s a strong guy, he might survive.

  That small thought gave her a hope she didn’t have since she found out he was turning. He was a hunter of strong body and mind, and as long as she was there to guide him through the change, he had a chance. She would see to it.

  Gwen squeezed his hand a little tighter and leaned her head against his bare arm, reminding herself of her promise to him in the bathroom.

  The thought made her shiver. It wasn’t the time for that. Later, she promised herself. There’s going to be a later.

  Shepard was surprised by the act and he looked down to see a content little smile on her lips. He couldn’t help but smile back at her. The urge to run his fingers through her beautiful white-blonde hair was strong, but he was having enough trouble having her so close and not being able to do more than just hold her hand.

  Every time he was alone with her he needed to touch her, in the motel, the bathroom, and he wanted to finish what they’d started. He’d even thought of where he could take her so that they could finish, but quickly pushed it out of his head when the images became so explicit that he had to shift his weight around to keep from becoming too uncomfortable.

  He’d never been so glad to be wearing jeans before, and no matter how much he wanted her, Gwen wouldn’t likely appreciate it in the middle of a quiet moment.

  They stayed like that for a time, long enough for Shepard’s body to calm down, until Evey walked up, licking her chops with a satisfied smile on her face.

  Gwen was feeling too happy and lazy to want to pay the vampire any attention. She wanted nothing more than to fall asleep on David, but the pleased look on her face made her tense and suspicious.

  “Where’d you go?” Gwen asked, one eye open and looking right at her. “You didn’t bite anyone did you?”

  “Of course not, it turns out this place has a lovely little blood bank,” she said as she lifted the side of a coat she’d stolen to reveal two more hidden bags of blood.

  Shepard bit back a laugh, but Gwen groaned and shut her eyes again. She didn’t want to have to worry about this. “People here need that blood.”

  “I’m well aware of that. I didn’t take much, and none of the rare kinds either. Blood doesn’t taste good when it’s cold anyway,” she said, hiding the blood bags that she’d stolen when a patient in a wheelchair wheeled by, curiously staring at her white hair and pink eyes.

  “I wish I could make blood appear with majick,” she said when he passed. “Then I wouldn’t have to go to so much trouble to get it all the time.”

  Gwen watched the man wheel around a corner until a thought she’d previously forgotten came rushing back to her. Her eyes snapped wide open.

  Oh God.

  “David?”

  He felt her tense and was concerned. “What is it?”

  “Is Jacob that vampire who was at the cabin?”

  Shepard blinked. “What?” How could she possibly know about him? Was he with Jimmy and Allen hunting her in the woods? Most likely not since the poor guy spent a majority of his time at camp. How could she know his name?

  “The vampire who was,” she hesitated, searching for the right words, “with your family at our Moon Night spot, was it him?”

  “How do you know that?”

  Gwen groaned. “I’m so sorry, I completely forgot with all the running and dodging I was doing.” She felt terrible, how could she forget something like that?

  “Gwen, what happened?” Shepard demanded, praying that nothing had happened. He knew his brother’s had been acting more hostile than usual lately, but even if they were to try something, Jacob knew how to take care of himself.

  Evey appeared both interested and concerned, probably because no vampire ever liked to hear that one of their own might be in danger, the same going for werewolves.

  Gwen told them of how she was in the woods, running away into the shrubs and trying not to create a noticeable trail for the hunters to follow. Eventually, both hunters stopped to rest, not realizing that she was right there watching them and listening to their conversation while keeping low to the ground to prevent them from catching sight of her noticeable white fur.

  They were loudly complaining, frustrated they couldn’t catch her, but also that he wouldn’t be there to participate in Jacob’s death.

  She didn’t get a chance to learn more since she accidentally stepped on a twig, alerting them to her presence.

  Shepard couldn’t believe what he was hearing. They were going to kill him? For what?

  “I n
eed to go.”

  Gwen blinked and grabbed his arm before he could go anywhere. “What? You can’t go! You need Doc to check you out!”

  “I can’t just let them kill him,” he said, shrugging her off. He never knew why Jacob stayed and helped his family despite the hostility, but he was his friend and he wouldn’t let it happen.

  “You can’t go back, you don’t even know if he’s still alive. Who is he anyway?”

  “I can’t leave him there,” Shepard growled through clenched teeth. Gwen drew back, shocked at the sound. He was becoming more and more a wolf by the minute.

  “He’s … he helps us on our hunts, but only because my father’s holding something over his head. I don’t know what.”

  “I’ll go with him,” Evey volunteered.

  “I’ll go alone,” Shepard said. He didn’t want to put anyone else in danger. He could handle his family on his own.

  “I’m a vampire, I can help you,” Evey argued. “Besides, if he’s thirsty, he can have my blood bags.”

  It was a generous offer since vamps hated sharing their food.

  “I’ll go too.” Gwen said, wanting to help in any way she could, but also not wanting to let him out of her sight. If he set the vampire free and decided not to return, she could live with that. Actually, she would prefer it; at least then he’d be out of the way of her father and Bill. But, at the same time, she wanted to be with him until his change like she promised.

  Shepard hesitated. Jacob would be thirsty since his job rarely allowed him to drink. Evey was right, she would be needed, but Gwen …

  Shepard went and cupped her cheeks; her skin was smooth under his rough touch, grey eyes afire with intensity. He didn’t want to hurt her any more than he already had, but when he died, if he died, he could at least die knowing that she was his and his alone. Shepard covered her mouth with his own, pleased when she kissed him back, completely forgetting that they were putting on a show for Evey, who had enough decency to turn away, but not without a little smile on her lips.

  Shepard’s hands roamed to the small of her back, and while he couldn’t hear her thoughts, he was far enough into the change to understand what she was thinking. She was thinking the exact same thing that he was. She could hear his voice clearly inside of her head, even without practice.