The Broken Man (Special Edition)

by Josephine Cox

  Delighted by Adam’s response, she went on, ‘So now, Adam, do you have any more questions?’

  After giving it some thought, Adam was concerned enough to ask, ‘Miss, if they’ve got two children of their own, why do they want to foster someone else’s child?’

  Miss Martin began, ‘Of course you must understand, that this subject is not for discussion outside of this room?’

  ‘Yes, miss.’

  ‘Very well then, and because I have secured their permission, I may partly share their confidence with you. Suffice for you to know that for medical reasons it is not possible for them to have another child. Apparently, they had planned a large family, and they had hoped their next baby might be a boy. Unfortunately, that cannot happen now, and so they decided to apply for fostering … with a view to adopt, if you fit in all right with the family.’

  Adam was curious. ‘Miss Martin, why would they want me? Why not a baby?’

  Miss Martin had gone as far as she was allowed. ‘I am not privy to that information, although if I were to make a guess, I would say that as they already have a baby they maybe wanted an older child. Also, they might think a sensible brother could befriend and guide their nine-year-old daughter. But, as I say, that is only my opinion, and you must not quote me on that. Do you understand?’

  ‘Yes, miss.’

  ‘Good!’

  Whenever Miss Martin put on her spectacles, she meant business; and she meant business now.

  ‘Now then, Adam. I can tell you that I gave them information on several children, including you. And because I believe in you, Adam, I did not hesitate to sing your praises.’

  ‘Thank you, miss.’

  ‘Fortunately, they seemed to warm to the idea of having you. But of course, I needed to arrange a meeting with them, so they can take stock of you, and you can also take stock of them, so you can see how you feel when you meet them in person. You will spend some time together, approximately half an hour initially, right here in this office. Afterwards, you must say whether or not you feel happy to go with them – if they indeed choose you … because, of course, it’s a two-way thing. So, Adam, is that all right with you?’

  ‘Yes, miss.’ In truth, mainly because of the dog, he found himself growing a little excited. ‘I would like to meet them. Oh, and will they bring the dog?’

  Miss Martin laughed. ‘Bless you, child. You have to look at the family first. As for whether they might bring the dog, I have no idea.’ She gave a merry little smile. ‘Although I will admit I did not forbid the little dog’s presence.’

  After Miss Martin dismissed him, Adam danced all the way down the corridor, a wide smile on his face.

  Maybe, at long last, things were about to change for the better.

  Since Adam had first been placed in the children’s home, Phil had been a regular visitor. As promised, he continued to remain a constant friend and advisor throughout Adam’s feelings of insecurity.

  In his own wise manner, he guided Adam through his anger and his sadness, and in doing so, he had not only brought a measure of companionship and love to the boy, but he had unexpectedly found a friend in Polly, one of the staff members at the home.

  Whenever Phil had been allowed to take Adam into town to watch a football match, or merely walk along the canal towpath, Polly was officially recruited to accompany them, as part of the security measures.

  Neither Phil nor Adam had any problem with that. In fact, through the early months when Adam found it difficult to settle, and through the bad, painful period when he was rejected from his first foster family, Polly had worked with Phil in building Adam’s badly bruised confidence.

  In the process, both Adam, and Phil in particular, had come to respect and admire Polly; so much so, that whenever he arranged an outing with Phil, he also looked forward to seeing the homely little care assistant.

  Today they had planned to sit by the canal and feed the ducks. It was one of Adam’s favourite pastimes.

  ‘Make sure Adam is back here by two-thirty.’ Being a stickler for the rules, Miss Martin went on to list the regulated dos and don’ts that accompanied any child on a trip from the children’s home. ‘Remember, Adam … do as you’re asked, and always follow Polly’s instructions. No changing the plans, or wandering off on your own. And you must stay in sight the whole time. Do you understand?’

  ‘Yes, Miss Martin.’

  ‘Good!’ She issued similar instructions to Polly, then she waved the three of them on their way. ‘Off you go, then.’

  As Phil was about to go out of the door, she called him back. ‘A moment, please, Phil.’

  Phil hurried back to her, while Polly and Adam waited in the porch.

  Pre-empting her reason for calling him back, he assured her earnestly, ‘Don’t you worry, Miss Martin. We’ll have Adam back by two-thirty, as requested.’

  Bold enough to speak out of turn, he told her what was on his mind. ‘If I may say so, Miss Martin, it really doesn’t give us much time together.’ He valued his time with Adam; and Polly too, if he was truthful.

  Unmoved by his remark, Miss Martin glanced at the grandfather clock. ‘It’s now twelve-thirty. To my reckoning, that allows you two hours.’

  Unable and unwilling to reveal delicate official information, and because Phil was not the boy’s official guardian, she gave a certain little smile, which offered Phil the smallest clue to her reason for cutting short the outing.

  ‘The reason I need him back here is because I care about his future … as I know you do.’ She paused while the remark sank in, then went on in a softer tone, ‘Adam might have important visitors arriving to see him. He needs to prepare himself, and I need a short time with him before the important event.’ She put on her most official tone of voice, ‘If you consider it a problem to have him back by two-thirty, then I must withdraw permission for the outing.’

  Again, she gave that certain little confiding smile. ‘I’m sure you understand what I’m saying.’

  Phil believed he understood exactly what she might be saying, and it brought a smile to his face. ‘You can trust me, Miss Martin. I will have Adam back here, in good time for the “important visitors”.’ He had an impulse to give a little wink. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Ah! So we do understand each other?’

  ‘I believe so.’

  ‘Good man!’

  Phil went away with a bounce in his step.

  A few moments later, Adam surprised him by saying cautiously, ‘I think I might know why they want me back.’

  ‘Oh, do you now? And why might that be then?’

  ‘Because there might be a new foster family coming to see me.’

  ‘Really?’ Phil gave a sideways wink at Polly. ‘Well now, and if they were coming to see you, how would you feel about that?’

  Adam gave a little shrug of the shoulders. ‘I don’t know.’ Beyond that, he would not be drawn. After enduring the previous fostering experience, he had grown very wary.

  Polly had said very little up to that point, but now she said, ‘Try and keep an open mind, Adam. One bad experience does not mean you won’t be placed with a good, loving family. In my experience, there are more decent, deserving people out there than there are bad ones.’

  While Phil readily endorsed her comment, Adam kept his silence, and brooded on his dark memories.

  Though, everything else aside, he was greatly excited about seeing the little dog.

  The new family would be bound to ask him questions, and he must answer truthfully, even if it put them off choosing him to be part of their family.

  Miss Martin had advised him to ask questions of his own, but Adam decided that he would know anyway if they were kind people and truly wanted him. And, because he had yearned to be part of a real family, he desperately hoped that at long last it might really happen.

  More importantly, today was a special day because it was the day when Phil took him to the churchyard to see his darling mother.

  Just as Adam was think
ing about her, Phil drew him back from the kerb. ‘Mind out, son. The bus is here.’

  When the bus arrived, Phil saw Polly on, then Adam, then himself.

  ‘Now then, Adam,’ he said, ‘being as we haven’t got much time, we’d best make it hot-foot to the florist and get your mum’s posy. Then we’ll walk up to the churchyard and spend a few minutes there. After that, we should still have time enough to treat ourselves to an ice cream and a sandwich.’

  He consulted Adam and Polly. ‘How does that sound to you folks?’

  Adam agreed that it was a fine plan and, by way of approving, Polly insisted on paying the bus fares.

  At the florist’s shop, Adam chose a small posy of pink flowers.

  ‘Mum always liked pink best of all,’ he told Phil and Polly, who had already learned that from previous visits to the florist.

  The florist was a round, smiling woman who always wore green. On more than one occasion, Polly had innocently remarked on how much the florist resembled the flowers, ‘all pink and green and wearing a smile’.

  Her description brought a little chuckle from the other two.

  The florist wrapped the posy in a cornet of stripy paper and tied it with a big floppy bow. ‘There!’ She was well pleased with herself. ‘That’s a very pretty posy, even if I do say so myself!’

  The churchyard was just a short walk up the hill. When they got to the top, Phil was puffing and panting, with Polly, sprightly as ever, springing ahead. ‘You need to do a bit of exercise,’ she told Phil, ‘get some of that fat off your belly.’

  Adam burst out laughing, while Phil replied haughtily, ‘I’ll have you know, I do a lot of walking and lifting, and I drive a bus full of sprightly children. If you ask me, that’s more than enough to keep a fella’s weight down!’

  Smiling secretly to Adam, Polly took the hint to drop the subject, while Phil took her comment on board and vowed not to beg any more of the children’s sweets.

  As always, whenever Phil had taken him to the churchyard, Adam ran ahead. Before the other two had even reached the top of the hill, Adam was running down the path to the church entrance, and then through the shrubbery to the pretty green area where his mother lay.

  Dropping to his knees, he told her in a whisper, ‘I’m here to see you, Mum. Look, I’ve brought you flowers. Phil’s with me … and Polly from the home.’ He placed a kiss on his fingers and pressed it to her name etched in the stone.

  A few minutes later, seeing Adam kneeling there, Phil stopped in his tracks. ‘Happen we should stay here for a while. Let the boy have some time with his mum.’

  For the slightest moment, Polly was torn between compassion for the boy and her duty to Miss Martin.

  Compassion won the day. ‘Yes, we’ll wait here.’ She smiled up at Phil. ‘Besides, it’s so pretty here … don’t you think, Phil?’

  Phil nodded. ‘Pretty it might be, but only for visiting.’ He gave a little shiver. ‘I’m not ready to overstay my welcome, at least not for some long time yet.’

  Polly wagged a finger. ‘If you feel like that, then it’s more reason for you to lose some of that belly.’

  Phil patted his stomach. ‘You might be right, but it won’t be easy. I’ve had this belly for a while.’

  ‘There you go then! Cakes and sweets and sticky buns won’t help, will they?’

  ‘How do you know I’ve got a soft spot for sticky buns?’

  ‘Because it’s what you order every time we take Adam into a café.’

  ‘That’s only once a fortnight or so.’

  ‘Hmm!’ Polly gave him a knowing look before seating herself on the nearby stone wall.

  Having placed the flowers, Adam told his mother in a whisper, ‘He can’t hurt you any more, Mum. And now he’s been put away.’ Leaning forward to wrap his two arms around the memorial stone, he whispered, ‘I kept my promise, Mum, but it’s hard. I peeped in the newspaper and it said he had hurt this other woman. But they caught him, and he was put in jail, and I hope they never let him out.’

  The tears were never far away and now he could not hold them back. ‘I hate him! He took you away from me and now everything’s changed.’

  Wiping his eyes, he told her sternly, ‘Sometimes when I’m in bed and I think of what he did to you, I want to hurt him … to kill him … I really do!’

  When the memories became too hard to bear, he cried, because he was sorry, and because he was frustrated that he could talk to his mum but he didn’t know if she could hear him. He wanted to see her pretty smile. He wanted to feel her hand over his, and he so wanted to hear her laughter … and see her as she suddenly raced him to the top of the hill when they had been walking out together.

  ‘Oh, Mum, I miss you so much. I will love you … for ever and ever, Mum …’ His voice broke beneath the weight of his sorrow, and he could say no more.

  Just then, he felt Phil’s loving arms about him, lifting him up to his feet and holding him close. ‘It’s all right, son. It’s all right to feel angry, but wanting to kill someone is not the answer. And besides, I have no doubt he’ll get his just deserts in prison.’

  ‘Do you know what, Phil?’

  ‘What, son?’

  ‘I hate him! I want to hurt him, like he hurt my mum.’ Adam clung to this man who had brought such comfort into his lonely life.

  ‘I understand that.’ Phil searched for the right words. ‘But … like I said, it’s not good to harbour thoughts of killing … Your mum would never want that, and you know it, don’t you?’

  When Adam was slow in responding, he asked again, ‘Adam, you do know it’s very wrong to think of killing, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes.’ There was a span of silence, before Adam angrily announced, ‘I hope they treat him badly in prison. I hope he’s really unhappy, just like he made my mum unhappy.’

  ‘Ssh, now.’

  Phil held him for a time, while Polly could only look on helplessly.

  Over her years at the home, she had seen many friends and do-gooders who might occasionally give a much-needed treat to one of the children at the home. But she had never before witnessed such devotion as she had seen between Phil and the boy. He was more than a friend to Adam. He was more like a father figure. And the love that had grown between these two was humbling to see.

  Polly understood how Adam had flourished under Phil’s protection. She had long realised that Phil was one of those selfless men – warm and giving – who asked for nothing in return.

  She realised it was not too hard to love a man like Phil because, in truth, whenever Miss Martin asked her to accompany Adam and Phil on a trip to town, her heart would turn over. And that had not happened these many years.

  A short time later, the three of them made their way down the hill, with Polly walking beside Phil, and Phil keeping a protective eye on Adam.

  ‘All right, son?’ Phil playfully ruffled Adam’s hair. ‘Ready for your ice cream, are you?’ After years of coping with the children on the school bus, Phil had a natural way of diffusing a bad atmosphere.

  ‘Yes, thank you, Phil.’ Having talked with his mum and rid himself of bad thoughts, Adam was calmer.

  ‘How about you?’ Phil turned to Polly with a smile. ‘Are you ready for your ice cream?’

  ‘Yes, please, Phil. I’ll have a double dollop of strawberry with chocolate sprinkles on top.’

  Phil and Adam laughed out loud at that.

  ‘Huh!’ Phil tutted. ‘And who’s been lecturing me to watch my belly, eh?’

  ‘I tell it as I see it,’ she retorted with a cheeky little grin.

  ‘There! I always knew it.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You’re a bossy boots!’

  Even so, Phil thought her to be a handsome, homely woman, and a fine companion into the bargain.

  CHAPTER NINE

  ‘NO, ANNE!’ SALLY pleaded. ‘You’re not ready to go back there yet. Please, stay here with us for a little longer. Just until you feel sure.’

  Anne had th
ought about it more and more of late, and though she shivered at the idea of walking into that house again, she was determined that Edward Carter would not defeat her. ‘But, I am sure, Sally. Well, at least as sure as I’ll ever be, I suppose. Besides, I’ve put myself on you and Mick long enough. If I’m ever going back, the time is now.’

  ‘But you’re not strong enough in yourself.’ Sally was worried. ‘You still have the nightmares, and I know if you go back to where it all happened, it might be too much for you to handle. Please, Anne. Stay here, with me and Mick, for a few more weeks at least. If you’re still determined after that, you can go home, and I’ll come and be with you for a week or so, just to see how it goes.’

  Sally knew only too well how deeply Carter’s vicious attack had damaged her dear friend. It was only when she was checked over at the hospital afterwards that it was discovered two of her fingers were broken, and because of Carter’s cruel handling of her, they found that some cartilage in her back had shifted, causing temporary damage to her spine. That meant an operation, and weeks of recovery back to full health.

  Edward Carter, though, had not only damaged her physically, he had left her in such a bad state mentally that she was a mere shadow of her former self. It soon became clear that while the outward scars were healed, the same could not be said for her fragile state of mind.

  In those first few months after she came to stay with Sally and Mick, Anne constantly teetered on the edge of a breakdown.

  In the early days after the attack, she was afraid to go outside on her own. Instead, she would huddle indoors, unwashed, undressed, and unable to cope with returning to work.

  At night, she could be heard pacing up and down in her bedroom, and whenever Sally took her out, she would never want to stay out long.

  On the few occasions that Sally was successful in taking her into town, Anne would be nervously glancing about, watching people passing, and hiding in doorways if she saw any man who bore even the slightest resemblance to Carter.