With a sip, I think about the proposition I had this afternoon in the school’s cafeteria. The principal, a man named Steven Johnson, asked me out for Friday night.
I told him I’d think about it and get back to him by Wednesday. It’s Monday, and I only have a couple of days to decide if that’s a thing I want to do.
In my jewelry box are both the engagement rings Rod and Reed gave me and I look at them each and every day, placing them one at a time on my finger to look at them and think about which man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Raise a family with.
And the truth is, I know if I pick one of them, the other will be hurt. I don’t want either of them hurt, but I also don’t want their family hurt.
So the idea of moving on from the Manning clan is forefront in my mind. And Steven Johnson may be the first step out of that world and into a new one.
But I’m not sure yet. I’ve been a Manning’s girlfriend since I was eighteen, except for the two years when I was no one’s girlfriend.
There’s no easy choice. But if I had to make it right now, I’d have to say that Reed still has the largest piece of my heart and I ache to hear his voice.
It’s him I miss the most!
The nights have been lonely, much more so than ever before.
Ironically, it’s my complete love for Reed that has me contemplating picking a whole different man so Reed doesn’t lose his family because of me.
I love him so much, I would let him go for him to have a happy life free of the family drama I’ve caused him so far.
But, my God, I miss him!
ROD
Drinking a beer as I look up at the star-filled night sky after a hard day at work, I tip the bottle back and think of having Jenna back in my arms.
It was nice having her back in my life again. Seeing her and having her around, even though it was only for one day before she left, was the best I’ve felt since the night I left her a little over two years ago.
And when I kissed her goodbye, I felt the old feelings flow back into me from the second our mouths met.
Her body melted into mine just like old times. Her tongue moved with mine like it always had. Her breathing went faster and her heart did too.
I know she felt something for me again. Now to find out if it can override what she feels for my brother.
Being the ass I can be at times, I peeked at Reed and her when he gave her his goodbye kiss. He gave us privacy for ours, and I feel kind of crappy for doing it, but it did give me some insight into what my chances are for Jenna picking me instead of him.
There was a significant amount of intimacy in their kiss. A lot of facial stroking by them both. A lot of deep sighs and many, many, loving words were whispered by them both.
The reality is that it made my chest hurt to know I’m coming between them when it seems they have a very deep connection. The thing is, though, she and I also have the deepest connection I’m capable of.
My brother has always been more in touch with his feelings, so it doesn’t surprise me the two connect on a deeper level than she and I do. But it doesn’t make him the right choice for her.
I was her first love, after all. I think Reed is her rebound love and, while that can seem like a true love for a while, those are usually very intense and burn up quickly.
Not to mention that Jenna and I have years of history and Reed and she have only months of it. He rushed to ask her to marry him only a week after they started seeing each other, from what Mom told me.
I think he found the need to rush things so when I came back I’d have no chance of rekindling what Jenna and I had. And that gives me hope that he saw something in her which told him I could get her back if I tried hard enough.
Which I plan on doing. But, since we did agree not to contact her, I have to wait and see if she’s even going to give me a chance to do that.
I gave her my number, and she knows Reed’s. She changed her phone number, so neither of us has it. I wonder how my brother is doing with all this, so I pick up my phone to ask him. It rings a couple of times before he answers, “Is Mom okay?”
“Yes, she’s doing great. I saw her this evening after I got off work. I went to the rehab, and she was up doing some aerobics with a bunch of old ladies. She was wiggling her caboose when I left her.”
“Good. I didn’t call her today like I normally do. My mind was elsewhere,” he says.
“Jenna?” I ask.
“Yeah. I did something really dumb and took out the binder we made of the wedding plans. And it made me all lonesome for her. It also made me wonder about what I’ll do with all the things that are already paid for concerning the wedding if she doesn’t pick me. I came up with an idea, though.”
I take a drink of my beer, then ask, “What did you come up with?”
“If she picks you, then I’d like to let you two have the wedding we planned. Jenna really planned the whole thing. I just showed her the different things that are available. It’s her dream wedding. As such, I’d still give it to her even if it’s not with me. So I’m asking if you plan on marrying her if she picks you, Rod?”
“I do,” I say quickly. “I’ve planned on marrying that girl for three years now. I just got very sidetracked.”
“Then it’s settled. The wedding will go as scheduled if she picks either one of us. And if she picks some other man, then you and I can have us a bad ass party with our family up here. It’s a win, win, win. Don’t you think?”
I think about it for a minute, then laugh. “Reed, you’re something else, little bro. I don’t think I could do what you’ve done. You’d still give that girl her dream wedding even if it’s not with you. That’s very interesting.”
“Well, she deserves it. And I’ll accept whatever she decides to do. I’ll love her forever, of course. You can’t stop that when it’s gone on for so long,” he says.
“How long have you loved her, Reed?”
“Since she was a mere fourteen years old, I have mooned over that girl.”
I take another drink. The fact is, I didn’t know I loved her until I looked into her eyes after she told that cop not to take me in. I knew I wanted her. I knew I wanted something with her, but love didn’t come into play until that day.
“Seems you do have a bit more of a longer love for her than I have, how did you stand it then when you saw her and me?” I ask him, then take another long drink.
“What choice did I have? And, honestly, the way you treated her, and the way she took, it told me there was no reason to try to take her away from you. If she didn’t leave your ass after what all you pulled, then me telling her my feelings for her wasn’t going to change her mind, anyway. She was loyal to your mean ass.”
I look up at the stars and blink back tears. “Yes, she was. And I repaid that loyalty by leaving her with no clue as to why. I left her not knowing if I was dead or alive. For two long years, I left her alone. And all the while you still didn’t have her and you paid for her college and gave her encouraging phone calls to keep her moving forward with her life.”
Reed laughs. “The way you put it, I sound kind of saintly. I’m not a saint, though. My reasons for not making an effort to get her were selfish. I knew in my heart that if you showed back up, she’d leave me. But when I saw her hot ass in the grocery store that afternoon, well, I couldn’t help myself. I had to have her.”
I suck down the rest of the beer. “And you and her made quick plans to cement the deal. Then I showed up and threw a kink in your plans. Dick move, I know.”
Reed sighs, then says, “Talk about your dick moves, I fucking told Jenna I was marrying her after sleeping with her for the first time. I didn’t ask her to marry me. I told her we were getting married. I judged you for controlling her, but I did the same damn thing. Only I left out the whips and chains.”
“She’s probably better off without us, little bro,” I say, and pull another bottle out of the six pack on the ground by my feet.
“She probabl
y is,” he agrees.
Maybe we should let her know that …
Chapter 33
JENNA
Putting on a pair of strappy sandals, I end my preparation for the first date I’ve ever had that isn’t with a Manning.
I’ve accepted Steven Johnson’s offer to take me to dinner, and my heart is pounding in my chest with anxiety. The man is about to turn thirty. He’s five years older than me, and very sure about what he wants for the future.
He’s been a grade school principal for two years, and he’s looking to move into a higher job with the school system here in Tempe as the superintendent. So he’s got a plan, and that’s admirable.
Steven is easy on the eyes, with dark hair he keeps cut short. He wears dark suits, which I think is a bit overdressed for a grade school principal, but I think he must be dressing for the success he’s aiming for.
A knock on my door has me nearly hyperventilating, so I stop and take in a deep breath and say to myself, “Calm down! It’s just a date!”
But it’s a date I don’t really want to be going on. I want to be lying on our bed, wrapped in Reed’s strong arms. That’s what I really want to be doing.
As I open the door, I see Steven wearing a nice black suit and tie and looking like he just left a high-powered business meeting. I stifle a laugh as Reed is a billionaire and only wears suits when he has too. He pulls them off way better than this man does.
“You look gorgeous,” he says as he steps inside. He holds up a bottle of wine. “I thought a drink before we head out would be nice. Where are your wine glasses?”
I step back, as he’s too close to me. “Over there on the counter.”
He walks over, opens the wine, and pours it into a couple of the glasses. “That color green of the dress you have on makes your pretty green eyes stand out. You have a real knack for fashion, Jenna. It’s what drew me to you. Well, that, and the fact that you have a killer body and are sweet as they come.”
“Thank you,” I say, and take the wine he hands me.
He takes my hand and pulls me with him to sit on the sofa. “So tell me your story, Jenna. I’m dying to know how you ended up working in my school.”
My brain nearly implodes. There’s no way I can tell him the truth, so I say, “My family thought Tempe would be a good place to try student teaching. I’m not too far away from my hometown of Jerome.”
His arm moves over the back of the sofa and way too close to me. “And no man?”
Sure, there’s a man. Or men, should I say?
I shake my head. “No man.”
He takes a drink and looks at me with a knowing gaze. “I think there was one. Am I right?”
“Of course I’ve had men in my life before.” I look away and take a drink and am really rethinking this dating thing. When you date someone you don’t know, there’s so just much backstory to catch up on.
And my backstory comes out a little dirty and sinister. Not a thing I like to talk about.
I laugh inside my head as I think about telling this man that I started out with a man who liked to whip my ass and ended up with a man who liked to shower me with love and affection, and it’s his car I’m driving and we’re sitting in the apartment he rented me. I’m wearing clothes his money bought me as well.
I shake my head as I just realized I’ve been a kept woman by both the Manning men. And that’s so not what I wanted for my life.
So I decide to give this guy a real chance and shove Reed and Rod out of my head.
For tonight, anyway!
He drains the last of the wine from his glass. “Ready to go? I made reservations. You do like French cuisine, don’t you?”
I shrug. “I’ve never had it.”
“Oh my goodness. Where have you been living, under a rock? Never had French food!” he says as he ushers me out the door.
No! Bel-Air, Mr. Rude!
My car is nicer than his, I see as we get out to the parking lot. Reed has me in a Mercedes, and Steven is driving a Ford Fusion.
Then I realize he has no idea what I drive, as I mostly walk the two blocks to the school.
He looks over at my car, which he’s parked right beside. He lets out a long whistle. “Now what kind of pretentious piece of work drives this environmental killer?”
I have no idea if I should claim it or not. Then I think maybe I should be truthful with this guy. “It’s mine.”
His eyebrows go way up. “Yours? How the hell can you afford this?”
I can’t!
“It was a graduation gift from my family,” I lie. And I think I’ll find myself lying about more things, if I’m not very careful.
He walks around to the driver’s side, not even attempting to open the car door for me, which Reed always has done. Even Rod would let me in on his side of the truck and I’d slide over, staying in the middle to be next to him.
I get in, a bit disappointed in the man, but still not giving up on him yet. “So where are you from originally, Steven?”
“Florida.” He stops and looks at me. “Well, New Jersey, then Florida. And sometime before that, I lived in Connecticut. My family moved a lot. My mother married three times before I turned eighteen and went off to college.”
“Are you close to your family?” I ask as he pulls away from my apartment and I realize I’m stuck with him until he decides to bring me back. It scares the shit out of me for some reason.
“God, no!” he says, as his hand goes through the air. “I don’t even talk to them. I have four half-sisters, one-half brother, and that’s all on my mother’s side. On my father’s side, I have no real number to tell you. He was a real player. As a matter of fact, that’s what my mother loves. Men who cheat on her. I like to call her a professional victim. She acts like it’s never her fault the men cheat on her. But she picks the same type over and over again.”
“I see. So no big family Christmas parties or anything like that?” I ask as I look out the window at the lights passing by very slowly, as this man drives like an old man.
“No. I haven’t even seen any of them in the last three years. And what about your family?” he asks, then he takes my hand and holds it in the middle console.
I look at our clasped hands and feel nothing. His touch does nothing to me.
Does the hand have to belong to a Manning to ignite anything in me?
“I have a mom and dad and I’m their only child. They were older when they had me. I was a surprise. They thought my mother couldn’t have children,” I say, and look back at our hands and wonder why there’s no spark at all.
“Well, maybe she wasn’t meant to have children. I know there are plenty of women out there who should never be mothers. Mine included.” He gives my hand a squeeze. “I should think, since you want to be around little kids all day with your kindergarten teaching, you have no desire for kids anytime soon.”
My mind is kind of blown that he said my mother must not have been meant to have kids.
Does that mean I was a mistake in his eyes?
“I love kids. I want quite a few of them.”
A frown covers his face that I would call handsome. He’s definitely not ugly, but the way he talks is making him look less attractive than I thought he was before this.
“Yeah, but you’re just starting your career. I know you don’t want kids for at least ten years or so, right? I mean, you have to get your life in order first and then see if kids have a place in it.” He pulls into a parking lot with not a lot of cars in it, and that usually means the food sucks.
“Ten years is a long time. I’ll be in my thirties by then. No, I want kids before that.” I open the door and get out on my own once he parks, as it’s obvious that, if he didn’t open the door for me to get in, he won’t be opening it for me to get out.
He walks up next to me and puts his hand at the small of my back. “That’s interesting that you’d say that. In my ten-year plan, I have no part of it that contains kids.”
“I don’t have
a ten-year plan,” I say as I wait for him to pull the restaurant door open, but he’s behind me, so he doesn’t.
I sigh, pull the door open, and step inside, as he looks confused. “No ten-year plan, huh?”
I turn back to him. “Does that disappoint you?”
He shakes his head. “No. No, not really. I can teach you about those kinds of things.” He looks at the hostess. “Reservation for two for Johnson.”
She looks around the half-empty restaurant with a smile on her face. “Oh, you’re the guy who called. Yeah, we don’t usually need anyone to make reservations. But come this way, please.”
Steven looks around then whispers, “It’s eight o’clock. We must’ve missed the dinner rush.”
I nod, but think there never is a dinner rush in this place and plan on filling up on crackers or bread or whatever they don’t cook in this place.
The woman shows us to a table for two under a dim light that hangs from the short ceiling. “Can I start you off with any appetizers and drinks?”
Steven sits without pulling out my chair so I do it myself and think that even the motorcycle gang member, Rod, pulled out my damn chair for me.
“Escargot and Merlots,” he says.
The look on the young woman’s face makes me think she has something she’d like to say, so I ask, “Is the escargot good here?”
“Um, uh,” she stammers.
Steven looks at me. “I’m sure it is. Go ahead and get what I asked for. You said you’ve never eaten French cuisine before. What do you know about escargot, Jenna?”
“I know it’s snails, and I can’t think of a way to prepare snails in a pleasant tasting way at all.” I pick up the menu and look at it as he stares blankly at me.
“Well, they are a refined taste for a palate which is experienced. You will learn to like the finer things in life if you decide to keep dating me, Jenna. I can show you a world you never dreamed of.”
I pull the menu down to look at him. “Is that so?”
He nods. “I am very well read, and have studied a lot about all kinds of things.”
Rockstar Untamed: A Single Dad Virgin Romance Page 51