“No jokes! He’s a fucking joke!” I toss the phone on the bed and start to get off the bed, but it lights up and makes the buzzing sound it does when I have a text.
“It better not be another thing he needs to tell me how to do!”
But I see it’s Reed. Heard you were happy with a new man.
“Wonder who told him that?”
I text back, Heard you were happy with a new woman.
He texts back, Who told you that?
I text, Your brother and your mother.
He texts back, Funny, those are the same two who told me that about you.
I send, I’m glad you’re happy. Your whole family is a lot happier now that I’m not in the picture.
He sends, Not all of them
So I send back, What does that mean???
He texts, Don’t worry about it. Are you really happy???
Sue’s been doing so well. She’s made a full recovery from the tumor and there’s been no reoccurrence. She’s been so happy with how things are going. And she has not so gently told me about how compatible this new woman in Reed’s life is with him. How well they get along and how happy Reed is with her.
The phone buzzes again and I see he’s written, Are you afraid to tell me you’re happy, Jenna?
I think about it for a while and I know they’re all better off without me. So I send, Yes.
A little while goes by. Then he texts back, Okay, then. Have a nice life.
I quickly type in, You too. Then the tears start to fall.
I can’t breathe. My body aches. I think I might be dying.
I pick the phone back up to call him and think twice about it and put it down. He deserves better than me.
That woman is his equal. I’m sure she’s mentally strong too and I’m weak.
My phone rings and I can’t see who it is through all the tears. But I answer it anyway.
“One more thing,” Steven says. “No drinking tonight. I don’t want us to do any more drinking. I want to have the appearance of an up and coming couple who are about business and education. All work, no play. That kind of couple. A real educational power couple. And I want you to keep going to college until you get your doctorate. So get working on that. See you tonight.”
He ends the call without me saying a word.
Not one damn word!
The phone leaves my hand as I toss it away from me. I want no more of this thing with him.
He hasn’t asked me to marry him, but I saw pictures of engagement rings on his phone the other day. And now all this talk about the future and what I need to do to fit into his ten-year, mother-fucking plan.
Well, fuck that!
I’m done! Done with being led around like I don’t know what I want or am too stupid to know I can do more. I’m sick of it!
Reed never put me in a box. He never said, “Jenna, I want to have sex like this, so you need to learn to do it my way.” He never said, “Jenna, I want you to do this with the rest of your life, so go to school even longer so you can do what I want you to do.”
No, Reed told me I could do whatever I wanted. Anything or nothing. Whatever I wanted.
He let me love him the way I wanted to. He let me do the things that made me happy. He let me plan the wedding around what I liked.
And now he’s moved on to another woman. And I know in my heart it’s because I didn’t stand up and fight for what I wanted.
I rolled over and did what would make everyone else happy. Everyone else but me and Reed. I let him go, to keep the peace. I let him go because it was the easier road to take.
And now he found a woman who’s most likely willing to fight for him. The way I should’ve done.
I could’ve told Rod the same things I told him a couple of weeks ago, to get him to understand that I’ve grown and am not that person he loved. I could have told Rod those things that night, instead of kissing him to see if there was anything there.
Why did I do that?
Why did I allow other people to get between what Reed and I had?
What we had was real, honest, and pure. And I threw my hands up in the air and told myself it was for the good of his family.
So now what do I do?
I’m done with Steven. I won’t be his date tonight, and even though it will be uncomfortable working in the same school as he does, I will not quit my job and hide away as if I’ve done something wrong.
I will face the uncomfortable situation with my head held high and go on. Because shit happens, and it’s not always roses and wine. Sometimes it’s a pile of shit, and you have to step over it and go the fuck on!
The fact is I may have lost Reed. And he may have been the one for me. He may have been the only man who will ever make me feel electricity with his touch.
Reed Manning may have been the only slice of heaven I will ever have on this planet. But I will no longer let some man control my every move.
No joking around, Jenna! No drinking, Jenna!
Who does Steven Johnson think he is?
There’s going to be a new Jenna. One who knows what she wants, and when she finds it—if I ever find it again—she will hold on to it like her life depends on it.
And now I am done talking about myself in the third person because that seems a little crazy to me and I don’t want the new Jenna to be insane!
In an effort to face things head on, I throw on a dress and slip on a pair of flip flops, pull my hair into a ponytail, and get into my car.
I’m going to face Steven when I tell him we’re done.
Tucking tail and running isn’t a thing I’ll be doing anymore.
Steven is getting into his car as I pull into the driveway of the three bedroom brick home he has no immediate plans to fill with children because they aren’t in his life plan.
I pull in behind him and get out of the car. He doesn’t even bother to get out. He just rolls his window down. “Jenna, I need to go. Move your car.”
“This will only take a second, Steven,” I say as I lean in his window.
“Jenna, just do as I say. Whatever you have to say can wait until I get back. You can wait on the patio for me to get back, if you want. It should take me an hour to get what I need to done.”
He looks agitated that I’m still standing here instead of hauling ass to get out of his fucking way.
“I’m not waiting. We’re over, Steven. Done. K. I’ll let you go now.” I turn and walk back to my car.
I hear his car door open. “Jenna, wait!”
I shake my head, wag my finger behind me, and keep walking until I get to my car and slide into the driver’s seat. He stands there just looking at me. “Bye,” I say, and drive away.
My phone rings and it’s him. I ignore the call.
I’ve said all I have to say to him!
No amount of pleading is going to get me to change my mind and go back to being his Barbie doll that he dresses and tells how to act.
The fact that we’ve slept together a whopping three times, and never did I come close to climaxing and never did he care, sits forefront in my brain.
What an ass!
I feel weightless with this off my back. I can just be free. I don’t have to have a man just to fill some space in my life. I can just be me.
The fact is, the love I have for Reed has made me see that I should never settle for anything less than a love like that.
He may have moved on, but I think I’ll just kick back and relax and let myself live with the fact I have a heart that’s full of love for a man who totally deserves it.
He didn’t do a thing to make me stop, and I couldn’t if I tried. So why fight it?
I love a man who doesn’t love me anymore. Okay. I can handle that.
Pulling back into my parking spot at my apartment complex, I sit for a moment and let myself feel what it feels like to be a woman who is free but who also holds a ton of love in her heart.
It feels damn good. Whether it’s reciprocated or not, it’s there, an
d it feels great.
The first thing I do as I walk into my little apartment is go straight to my jewelry box and take out the ring Reed gave me. I slide it on my finger and look at it and feel happy.
Not sad at all. Reed made me happy once. He taught me how that feels. I can’t hate him for moving on. It was my fault.
But I can feel the way he showed me is possible. I can live my life the way I want.
From the day he talked to me about going to college and doing what I wanted, until the day he told me I could walk away from him if I wanted to see what I felt about Rod or anyone else for that matter, he has taught me a lot.
It’s not the job; it’s not the way you do things that matter. It’s how you feel about it. If you like it, do it. If you don’t, don’t!
I like wearing this ring. I like feeling the way I felt when I was with him. And I can if I want to.
Now to see how long this euphoria lasts!
Chapter 38
REED
I can’t stop staring at my phone. The last text from Jenna isn’t making sense to me.
I know that girl has not found another man who makes her feel the way I do. So I make a quick decision and look online and have flowers and candy sent to her address today.
Then I make damn sure Lana knows we have nothing going on, as she texted me a few times yesterday and I can’t have her thinking she and I are a thing.
So with a swipe of my finger I call her. “Reed! Miss me?”
“Lana, sorry. This isn’t one of those calls where I tell you I miss you and want you to join my family for Easter, sorry.”
“Oh, I see. What is this kind of call then?”
“This is the call where I tell you that you and I are not working out.”
She sighs. “Reed, that dumb girl isn’t coming back.”
“She might not be. But Lana, that girl taught me what true love felt like, and I’m done settling for Mrs. Right Now and not Mrs. Right. She may not take me back, but I’m sure as fuck going to try.”
“And what if she shoots you down?” she asks. “Do you think I’m the kind of woman who will take this from you, then, when you come crawling back after she tells you it’s over, welcome you with open arms?”
“I’m not going to be doing that. If she shoots me down, then I’m going to be thankful for what she’s shown me: how to love and be loved unequivocally. Sorry for wasting your time, Lana. I’m sure we’ll see each other around, and I don’t want things to be weird,” I tell her, then hear something breaking in the background.
“Damn it, Reed. Look, I get what I want!” she shrieks.
“So do I,” I say, with a very calm voice. “And I want Jenna Foster or no one right now. I’ll never be settling again. Not now that I know what real love feels like. Bye, Lana.”
There’s some cursing on her end, but I hang up without listening to anymore.
There was no love there. I was a thing Lana set her sights on. A nice bank account, a handsome face. But she had no real feelings for me. And I sure didn’t for her.
So that’s done, and now on to Operation Get Jenna Back.
A text comes in and I cross my fingers that it’s Jenna. But I see it’s from Lana. Reed Manning, we are through!!!
I laugh out loud. “Duh!”
Jenna or no Jenna, I’m through with faking it just to have a warm body around once in a while.
And I’m through with waiting around for Jenna to realize she’s hurting us both by taking this high road where she doesn’t cause any waves in the Manning family.
Pulling on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and my running shoes, I leave my bedroom and find my mother in the kitchen. “Hey, Mom. You feel like making some lasagna for dinner tonight?”
“It’s ten in the morning, Reed. I haven’t thought about dinner, son,” she says, then drinks her coffee.
I can see she’s slowly realizing what I’m about to do. Her eyebrows go up. “Reed!”
I kiss her forehead as she sits at the kitchen table. “Bye, Mom.”
“But Rod and his girlfriend are here. It’ll be Armageddon!” I hear her shout out.
But I keep on going. I know Rod won’t do a thing. Now Mom needs to see that too, and things will be fine and dandy.
As I slip behind the wheel of the rental car, I put my shades on and turn up the radio. I’m going to jam all the way to Tempe and pick up my girl!
JENNA
The doorbell rings and I get up off the sofa and peek through the peephole. I have no wish to see Steven.
It’s been about two hours since I ended things with him and he’s called several times and texted several messages, but I deleted them all without reading any of them.
All I see are flowers and then the face of a delivery man. “Miss Jenna Foster?”
I open the door. “Those are for me, huh?”
He nods and hands a huge bouquet of red roses to me and a big box of chocolates. Then he seems to be searching for something. He hisses, “Shit!”
“What?” I ask as I put the flowers and candy down on the table by the door.
“The card! Man, I lost it on the way up. I didn’t read who they were from. Sorry, ma’am.”
I laugh and shake my head. “I have a strong idea I know who sent them. I just broke up with this guy. They have to be from him, although, he’s never done a romantic thing before. Thanks.” I hand him a five-dollar bill for his trouble and shut the door.
And it hits me as I look at the flowers and the candy on the table.
Reed is in Jerome!
The text he sent last night was from his mother’s phone and he was at their pool. He’s there. A mere two hours away.
But that woman might be there too!
Oh, that would really start some shit if I showed up. And Sue is doing so well now.
Fuck it!
I spin around, go get my purse and car keys, and take off. I need to go to Reed and tell him how I feel and that I want to get married like we planned.
If I have to beat the hell out of some rich woman to get him back, then that’s what I have to do.
I’ll prove to him I do think he’s worth fighting for. It might have taken me a little while to realize it. But now that I do, anyone who is standing between us is in my way.
And heaven help anyone who does. Because I’m through being the quiet girl who gets out of everyone’s way and does only what makes everyone else happy.
Because the way Reed seemed on those texts told me he isn’t happy. And I’m not happy, so I need to fix things with him.
That man is mine. He knows it and I know. And I belong to him. Heart, body, and soul.
As I slide into the driver’s seat, I put on the shades Reed bought me that match his and I crank up the radio. I’m going to rock all the way back to Jerome and get my man back!
And I hope Sue can forgive me!
Chapter 39
REED
I take the stairs two at a time to get up to her apartment on the second floor. It’s number 212 and as I get to the top step, I see some man pounding on the door.
“Jenna, open up. I’m not going to let you do this to me!” he shouts.
“Hey, buddy!” I say as I come up behind him.
He turns around and looks at me. “Can I help you?”
I shake my head. “Nope. You seem to be looking for my fiancée, Jenna. What can I do for you?”
This guy is about three inches shorter than I am and he’s wearing a black J.C. Penny’s suit for some reason and smells like cheap cologne. He stammers as he looks at me, “Fiancée? I’m talking about Jenna Foster. She’s no one’s fiancée. She’s my girlfriend! Now who might you be?”
“I might be Santa Claus. Jenna Foster is my fiancée. So, why are you here?” I fold my arms across my chest, which is broader than his, and wait for his answer. But I’m pretty damn sure this is the grade school principal she was dating.
No way she’s in love with this douche!
“She and I had a misunderst
anding earlier and I’m trying to get it straightened out before we go to a party this evening.” He turns and bangs on the door again. “And I have no idea who you are. Jenna has been here about five months or so and I’ve never even heard her talk about any man. Much less a fiancé.”
“Well, I am her fiancé, and I’m about to take her back to our Bel-Air mansion, so you may want to go ahead and cut on out of here, buddy,” I tell him as I take hold of his shoulder to stop his incessant pounding.
“Bel-Air mansion?” He shakes his head. “There’s no way we’re talking about the same woman. My Jenna is not that refined. There’s no way she ever lived in Bel-Air in a mansion. Not my Jenna.”
I shift my weight to the other foot. “Okay, let’s get this straight. I have a Jenna. This Jenna is mine. You, well, I don’t know what you think you had, but you never had her. Her heart has belonged to me for some time now. So, like I said, you should go. She’s most likely hiding in there until you leave, anyway.”
His brown eyes go big and he walks to the top of the steps and looks down them to the parking lot. “Hey, did you see a white Mercedes when you parked?”
I shake my head, then recall that I had one just like that sent to her.
She’s not here!
My cell phone rings and I pull it from my pocket and see Rod’s name on it. “Hey, what’s up?”
“I got your girl, Reed. Guess who came looking for you? It’s just like you wished for. She showed up at our front door,” he tells me.
“Fuck! Tell her to wait for me there. Don’t let her go anywhere. I’m at her apartment in Tempe. It’s going to take me a couple of hours to get back. Don’t let her leave, Rod! Promise me, please!” I haul ass past the guy who thinks he knows my girl and get into my car.
The guy comes at me, waving his arms and shouting, “Hey, did you find her?”
I nod and shout as I drive away. “She’s at my house. It’s over, dude. Whatever you had is done. Bye!” I spin out as I leave the parking lot and floor it to get back to Jerome.
She came for me!
JENNA
I tap my foot as Sue stands in the doorway. “Well, he’s not here, sweetheart. I’m sorry,” she tells me.
This is so not like Sue to leave me on the porch. “Look, I know Rod’s here. I see his bike right there. Ask him if he knows where Reed went. I came all the way from Tempe to see him, and Sue, I am going to see him. If that woman is here with him, I don’t care. I have to talk to him.”
Rockstar Untamed: A Single Dad Virgin Romance Page 54