Rockstar Untamed: A Single Dad Virgin Romance

by Michelle Love

  Her idea of me pisses me off and I pull away from her. Staying in the shadows, I hiss, “Your assessment of my character isn’t a thing I like.”

  “Am I wrong, Ryker?” she asks as she looks up at the night sky, full of bright and twinkling stars. “You too will leave this world and I will be right here. Am I to pine away for you when you go? At least I can honestly say, Damien’s leaving me to go to Mars won’t hurt that badly. If I allowed you to get as close as you’d like, I have a feeling your leaving would devastate me.”

  “You act as if you can’t go. You can. I’ve told you, I will take you. Why do you have to be so stubborn about it?” I ask her as she’s making me furious.

  “You are the one who is being stubborn. It’s you who is trying to force something. I’ve made my pact and I will stand by it.” She turns and looks at me. “That’s the kind of person I am, Ryker. If I tell you I will do something, then I will.”

  “Tell me you won’t marry him,” I say as I reach out for her to come into the darkness with me. The tips of our fingers touch, I maneuver them up until I have a solid hold on her hand and pull her to me. Holding her close as I lean against the wall to stay hidden from prying eyes, I find it hard to stop myself. “I want to kiss you, Gia. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”

  “But you won’t, unless I give you my permission,” she says as she looks at my lips.

  Resting my forehead on hers, I say, “Give it to me, Gia.”

  “I can’t. Even now, I feel my heart pounding harder than it ever has. You are my one temptation, Ryker. You are the one thing I have to learn to deny myself. For my family’s sake.”

  “I can take care of them. I will take care of them,” I tell her as the need to feel her mouth is overwhelming.

  “I don’t trust you,” she says then I feel the dog at my feet, bumping against our legs and yapping that she’s ready to go back inside.

  “But you trust him,” I say as I graze my lips over hers. Her sweet breath is intoxicating to me and I feel light headed and want to fall into a drunken state as I taste every inch of her.

  “I do. We should go inside now. I’ve been too long out here.”

  Holding her tightly, I say it once more, “Tell me you won’t marry him, Gia.” I meant my voice to come out much stronger. Instead, it comes out like a plea. I’ve never pleaded with anyone!

  “I’m not going to marry him. I don’t have to. He merely wanted to let me know he would if I needed that from him, which I don’t. I have no want to try to divorce a man who’s left the planet, so I can one day marry a man I love.”

  Her words send me to a place of joy and hope. “Good. I’m glad you’re being smart about that. You’re an extremely smart woman, except where relationships are concerned.”

  “And I’m sorry you don’t understand me. Let me go inside first, just in case Damien is waiting and watching.” With that, she leaves my arms, opens the door and she and her dog go inside, leaving me alone in the dark and feeling sick at my stomach.

  My head is spinning and my world feels as if it’s coming undone. If this is love, it certainly sucks!

  GIA

  The touch of Damien’s hand on my stomach makes it tense. Lying in bed, next to him, I’d rather be anywhere else. But he needs me, so I stay.

  With a kiss to my cheek, he moves his hand lower and I see where he’s headed and can’t believe the man. “Damien!” I hiss at him. “Do you think I actually want to have sex with you, after what you’ve told me?”

  “Gia, nothing has changed, except now you know the truth. It doesn’t mean anything needs to be different between us. As a matter of fact, you knowing what you do and still staying with me actually, makes me care even more for you.” His lips run over my shoulder as he turns over to lean his head on his hand and look down at me. “The same way I don’t expect the mother of my son to go without sex, I don’t expect you to, either. And seeing as you won’t be getting that anywhere else, per our agreement, I am here for you. Take advantage of that.”

  “Look, I have no idea how you don’t understand how I’m feeling right now but you are clueless, so let me educate you,” I say as he does seem not to understand me at all. “The man I have thought was faithful to me has just told me he’s slept with another woman every week during our relationship. The kid I can get past, the sleeping with another woman, I can’t.”

  “Are you telling me that you and I aren’t going to be having sex again because I can’t take that?” He looks at me with a grin on his face, as if he’s being cute. “I like your body and I like the way you make me feel.” His finger trails between my breasts. “Are you going to lie to me and tell me you don’t like it too?”

  Measuring my words, as I don’t want to annihilate the guy, I tell him, “It’s a thing I find satisfying. That said, I don’t feel like doing it at this time. When my emotions are all over the place with your news and I feel like crying.”

  His smile grows and I find him more than a bit insensitive. “You care about me, Gia. I can see it now. I mean, I knew you had to care about me to stay with me all this time but I wasn’t sure how much you were staying because you liked me or if you stayed so I’d take care of your family. What you’re saying now means you have real feelings for me. And that’s sweet.” He leans down and kisses me.

  I don’t stop him. I should but I don’t. I can’t even explain to myself why that is. I can’t seem to do anything but give to this man. Whatever he wants, I just give it to him.

  My body goes numb as he moves forward with his sex plan. I suppose he needs it to feel like we’ve made up. But we haven’t exactly done that. I’m going to accept the fact he has a kid and another woman who will be on the sidelines while I get to take center stage, where his family is concerned.

  And as he kisses me and nudges me to bend to his will, I do as I’ve always done and bend any way he needs me to. And for what? For the financial safety, my family gains from this?

  When it ends, he rolls off me with a deep sigh. I roll over and close my eyes and try to fall asleep to end this hell of a day. Tomorrow morning, he will leave and I will be alone with my family, thankfully. I need some time to think.

  I should be getting more out of this deal. Ryker is right. Perhaps I should get my own side relationship, no one needs to know a thing about. It’s only fair, after all!

  RYKER

  “Good morning, Ryker,” Gia says with a smile as she comes into the breakfast nook. “Thanks for shoving the map and note under the bedroom door this morning. I would’ve never found this room on my own.” Her hand flows along my shoulders as she comes to take the place next to me. “The rest of the family isn’t far behind me.” She kisses my cheek and I find a smile moving over my lips. “Thank you again for this. You’re one in a million.”

  “Damien got off early this morning,” I say as I fill her juice glass. “Is that why you’re in such a good mood?”

  After taking a long drink, she places the nearly empty glass on the table where I refill it for her. “Not exactly. I just feel kind of fantastic today. That’s all. Most likely it’s due to you bringing my family in for me.” She leans over and plants another kiss on my cheek, making me wonder what the hell happened to make this drastic change in her.

  “Well, I’m probably going to make you do flips with this,” I say then take her shoulders to keep her seated. “I’m taking you all to the beach today.”

  Her eyes go big and she claps her hands and I get another kiss on the cheek. “Thank you! You are the best, Ryker!”

  “You’re welcome. And I’m happy that you’re happy, Gia.” I kiss her cheek and find her moving at the last second and my kiss lands on her lips.

  “Oops,” she says as she turns her head.

  I kiss her cheek and have an odd feeling that wasn’t an oops, at all. The sound of her family coming down the hallway has me leaning back in my seat and in no time the small breakfast nook is buzzing with excited conversation as we all talk about going t
o the beach on such a sunny and gorgeous day.

  Gia’s nearly glowing as we leave the room after enjoying the delicious breakfast that was prepared for us. And Gia took the reins easily when I handed them to her. She made the order for what food they’d be preparing at the beach for us for dinner.

  Lobsters, clam, shrimp, and Mahi Mahi will all be made for us on a grill down by the water. I foresee a moonlit stroll with her this evening. I know I’m happy to have Damien out of our hair for the next two days!

  As her family goes off to dress for the day at the beach, I take Gia by the hand and lead her with me on the pretense of helping me get together leashes and other things for the dogs, so we can take them with us.

  “Lady’s never been to the beach,” she says as we look through drawers for the elusive leashes I know I have but can’t recall where I put them. “I bet she’ll love it.”

  I find a black leather collar, studded with rhinestones and hold it up, “I have your collar, now to find a couple more for the dogs.”

  She laughs and bows. “You want to me my master, Ryker?”

  She’s joking, of course. The fact she lets Damien rule her isn’t a joke, though. I take her chin in my hand, lifting her back up to eye level. “You don’t need a master, Gia. You’re perfect just the way you are. No training is required.”

  Her lips quirk up on one side as she looks at me. “Thanks. You know, I have to say I think you’re pretty perfect, yourself.” Finding the errant leashes and collars has her opening another drawer and she quickly takes out a handful of leashes and holds them up while eyeing me. “You certainly have a lot of these things. You sure you’re not into some kinky stuff, Ryker?”

  “I’ve been known to dabble on occasion. If you care to come with me to my bedroom, I could show you a thing or two.” I chuckle but I mean it. If she’d go, I’d be down for that.

  “Not right now. We’re supposed to be getting ready for a day at the beach, remember?” she asks as she picks out a red leash for her dog and a blue one for mine.

  I follow along behind her, admiring the view and happy to know I’ll soon be seeing her nearly naked. “I had something delivered to your room,” I tell her, making her stop and turn around.

  “What?” Her eyes sparkle a bit with curiosity.

  “Something I want you to wear today. It’s tiny and red and will look great on you.” I push a lock of her hair off her shoulder and let my hand rest there.

  “A bikini?” she asks with a frown. “Because I only wear one pieces.”

  “Why is that?” I ask her as I move my hand down her arm then over to her waist. “You have a smoking hot body, Gia.”

  “Damien…” She stops herself.

  “Damien doesn’t like you to wear bikinis?” I ask her as I pull her close to me. She nods and I lean in close. “He’s not here, is he? And I won’t tell on you. Can your family be trusted?”

  She giggles and says, “I suppose you’re right. Don’t take any pictures, though. He’d be furious.”

  “And we can’t make Damien mad, now can we?” I stare into her eyes until she closes hers.

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Educate me, Gia.” Letting her go, she takes a step back and shakes her head.

  “Maybe another time. I honestly, don’t want to think about him today or tomorrow. It’d be great if you wouldn’t talk about him at all. I need a little Damien-free time.” And with that she turns and walks away, leaving me wondering what the hell has gotten into her.

  GIA

  Salty air and warm sun seem to be just what the doctor would’ve ordered, had I went to one to get a cure for what ails me. The addition of Ryker has made it a day I will remember for quite some time.

  My dog is playing with his in the gentle surf. My mother and father are strolling, hand in hand, along the shoreline. My sisters are gathering shells to take home to their kids. And I am sitting on a lounge chair under the cover of a giant umbrella. I can’t recall a time when I’ve felt so relaxed.

  “How about a walk?” Ryker walks up and asks me. “The sun’s getting pretty low in the sky. A walk, on the beach, at sunset, no less. Well, I won’t blame you if you accidentally fall in love with me, if you come with me.”

  Pulling my sunglasses up, I look right into his eyes. “What if I’ve already fallen?”

  He chuckles and takes my hands, lifting me up. “You most likely have. Come on, walk with me. I want to delve into that brain of yours.”

  “I don’t want to think today,” I whimper as he keeps hold of my hand as he leads me to walk in the shallow water. Our bare feet make tiny splashes with each step and I find it odd how much I like the way our feet look, walking side by side like this.

  “Can you imagine what it will be like to swim in water that no one or thing has ever swum in before?” he asks me and I see he’s going to talk to me about going to Mars with him again.

  “Ryker, I want to ask you something. And I want you to be honest with me.”

  “I always am,” he says then pulls our clasped hands up and kisses mine. “Ask me anything.”

  “Is it selfish of me to want what Damien has?”

  “His money?” he asks.

  “Well, that and one other thing,” I say, careful not to spill Damien’s secret to Ryker, who would most certainly not keep it to himself.

  “What’s the other thing?”

  “No, I can’t tell you that. I just want to know if it’s selfish to want the same thing your boyfriend has.”

  “Like, he has a motorcycle, so you want one? That kind of thing?”

  I weigh that idea then nod. “Yes, he has something and I find it unfair that I don’t get to have one too. If that’s how he wants to be.”

  “Come on,” he says as he stops and takes both of my hands and turns me to face him. “Tell me what he has that you want too but he won’t let you have.”

  “Just something. I really can’t say. But I have no choice except to let him keep this thing he has. If I was to get something like it, it would have to be kept a secret. I’m not a liar, so that may well be impossible,” I tell him as he looks at me with an odd expression on his handsome face.

  “I think it’s fair for you to want the same treatment you give. I think it’s fair to want things that your other half has if you want them. Is this a thing you two could share?”

  A laugh jumps out of me, without me knowing it was going to happen. I jerk my hands out of his and cover my mouth with them. “Sorry.”

  “What would be funny about that?” he asks as he eyes me, suspiciously.

  “Nothing. So, if I did get something along the lines of what he has, you’re saying I wouldn’t be an awful person?” I ask him to be sure of what it is he thinks.

  I care about what he thinks of me. I don’t want to come at him with my idea and have him think me trashy or a person with bad moral character.

  “I’ll get whatever it is for you,” he says and I laugh again. “You’re making me crazy. What is it? Is it some kind of weird sex toy?”

  “No. Not really.”

  Taking my hand, he starts walking again and shakes his head. “So, what will I be getting you?”

  “You.” I leave my answer short as I have no idea of what else to tell him.

  He laughs and looks at me out of the corner of his eye. “Me?”

  I nod and bite my lower lip as I wait to see what he thinks about it. He looks down and doesn’t say anything, making me think this was a huge mistake. So, I add, “It’s just for sex, Ryker.”

  “Damn!” He makes a nervous laugh and then stops. “Gia, what is this about? You told me you are no cheater and now you openly ask me to have sex with you. That is what you’re asking, right? For us to have sex but tell no one about it? And just what are we talking about, once? Or is it more like an ongoing thing that we have to hide? Because I’m not into sharing. I’m not into lying and hiding, either.”

  And just like that, I know I’ve messed up. “Forget I said any
thing.” I pull my hand out of his and try to walk away from him but he grabs my arm, pulling me back to him.

  “If you’ve found out Damien is screwing someone else, why aren’t you dumping his ass?” he asks me as he glares into my eyes.

  He’s furious!

  I did not see this coming at all. I thought he’d just agree to a simple affair and be happy about it.

  “Because it’s complicated. And you can’t tell a soul. You have to promise me.”

  “Gia, you aren’t being true to yourself. There’s no good reason for him to have an affair and you stay with him. Get out of this relationship. You’re not even married, for God’s sake! Is it financial security? I can give you a job that will pay you a lot of money. Don’t do this to yourself. End it with him.”

  I look at him and know I’m breaking the agreement I made with Damien by doing this but I can’t seem to stop myself. “He got a woman pregnant on accident a few days before we met. She has his son. He’s taken care of her and the boy but she was a prostitute and his family will never allow him to marry her. If they found out about her and the boy, they’d cut him off without a cent.”

  “And that’s your problem because?” he asks me with squinting eyes.

  “Because I want financial security for my family. It’s a trade-off. I keep his family off his back by portraying his loving girlfriend or wife until he leaves on the mission to Mars. He’ll be taking the woman and boy with him but his family won’t be aware of who they are to him. I’ll get to keep his money, making me and my family set for life and then some.”

  “You’re selling yourself to him, Gia. An MIT graduate, a brilliant person, and you are selling your body to a man.” Disgust covers his face then he lets my hand go and walks away from me.

  I’m stunned. In silence, I stand and can’t comprehend what just happened here. I was offering him exactly what he’s wanted from the beginning. Sex with me.

  How could he judge me so harshly?

  RYKER

  Rain has set in as I head back to Orlando. I politely left Gia and her family alone at my place and told them I had pressing business to see to in Orlando. I told her family goodbye and told her I would send a car for her and make sure she was returned to the room she shares with Damien at the Four Seasons. I don’t want to see her anymore.