Black Tears

by Woods, Karen

  “Have you seen Jade?” the woman smiled and started to tell her that back door Bob had just pulled up and took her. They both started to laugh and Dawn nearly choked as she lit her cig. Back door Bob was a well-known character to the girls on the street and they called him that because he only ever wanted anal sex. Bob was about twenty stone and had a bald head that shone like the moon on a dark night. He was a nice enough fella but the girls only went with him as a last resort. Dawn laughed as she knew Jade had never experienced him before and couldn’t wait for her to get back so she could take the piss out of her. A car now pulled up and the woman who she was speaking to got into the car leaving Dawn alone. Dawn felt a bit sick and wiped her mouth with her sleeve. The taste of the man she’d just sucked off was still in her mouth and no matter how much she tried she couldn’t get rid of the taste of sweaty cheese.

  Jade finally could be seen walking up the street about half an hour later. She looked as if she had been riding a horse. Dawn had to bite her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing at the sight of her. Jade’s face was a picture when she reached her and you could tell she wasn’t a happy bunny.

  “Where have you been? You’ve been ages,” Dawn asked. Jade made her way to a doorway in silence and was shaking like a leaf.

  “Give me a cig will ya, because what I’ve just been through you wouldn’t want to know.” Dawn passed her a cig and started to enquire what had happened.

  “Are you okay, you look like your gonna be sick?” Jade lit her cig and sat down as Dawn came to join her with a secret smile on her face.

  “My arse hole is fucking killing me. Talk about the ring of fire or what. The man I fucked off with was an arse bandit and wanted nothing but anal sex. I tried to work a gobble on him but he was having none of it and wanted my rusty bullet hole instead. I told him to fuck off at first but when he shown me two twenty pound notes I couldn’t turn it down. I told him to be quick but the fat fucker was there for ages and now my back doors have well and truly been kicked in.”

  Dawn nearly pissed herself as Jade told the story and had to hold her belly as she laughed. It was just the look on Jade’s face as she told the story. She looked so serious and quite shocked that anyone would dare ask her for anal sex. Dawn now told her about the man’s nickname and they both laughed as Jade held her arse.

  The rest of the night went well and before long, they nearly had enough money to go home. They bought a large bottle of vodka between them and drunk it as they waited for more punters. Life on the game was shite and as the night came to an end when both girls had had enough. Dawn was the last one to come back from a punter and they decided they should start walking home. They were both pissed and Dawn joked about Backdoor Bob all the way home. Jade had seen the funny side of it and said that her farts smelt of sperm thanks to Backdoor Bob. Dawn could hardly walk and took off her shoes and placed them in her hand as she continued. Her knickers were piss wet through as she laughed at the thought of Jade with Bob and she tried not to think about it anymore.

  As they walked down the garden path they tried to keep the noise down. That was all she needed, a crazy neighbour strangling her again, she thought, so she hushed Jade to be quieter. Dawn searched her bag for her key and opened the front door. When they both got in they could hear the television in the front room.

  “Oh Philip must be in” Dawn thought and carried on into the front room. The front room was dark and the light from the television let them see the shape of Philip on the settee. As Jade switched the main light on they could see he was in some kind of trouble as he looked blue. Dawn looked concerned and knelt to where he was on the settee. His arm still had a shoelace wrapped round it and the needle was still stuck in his arm.

  “Philip,” she shouted, but still he didn’t respond. She pulled the needle from his arm and got Jade to remove the lace that was tightly fastened around it. They both started to lift him up and down from the settee but it remained lifeless. As she touched his face, his skin felt cold. Panic now took over them both and they sobered up within minutes. Dawn was hysterical and shouted at Jade to ring an ambulance. She froze at first but as Dawn screamed into her face, she ran for help as quick as she could.

  Phillip was pronounced dead at three o’clock that morning. Once the ambulance had come they took him straight to the hospital, but he never regained consciousness. Dawn sat outside the hospital when she found out the news and screamed at the top of her voice. Jade sat by her side and tried to comfort her but she felt hopeless not being able to calm her down.

  Philip’s parents came to the hospital and when they’d come out of the room where their son lay dead they were heartbroken. Jade tried to speak to them but her words were wasted as his parents made their way to Dawn who was now sitting on a chair in the waiting area. Phillip’s mother approached Dawn like a loose cannon and it was only her husband that stopped her from killing her there and then. Phillip’s father held her tight as she screamed into her face.

  “Are you happy now? My son’s dead because of you lot and you’re dirty fucking heroin. Why didn’t you throw him out, then he would have come home and still be alive today. You’re nothing but a low-life scum bag Dawn and I wish you were dead as well. You dirty fucking smackhead.” Phillips mother was dragged away kicking and screaming as she continued to shout abuse. Jade put her arms around Dawn as they sobbed together. His mother had been right, she was a low-life scumbag and she hated the way her life had turned out more than anyone did.

  The morning of Phillip’s funeral arrived and Dawn tried her best to look respectable. His mother said she could come to the funeral as long as she kept well out of her way and Dawn obeyed her and stood at the back of the church to pay her respects. Six members of his family carried Phillips coffin inside Blackley crematorium. The song he once loved played aloud. The song by Coldplay, called ‘Fix You’, seemed to express all the thoughts Phillip’s family had about him. As Dawn heard the words, her heart shattered into a million and one pieces, and she realised how much drugs destroyed not only the person taking them, but their families as well. Each word of the song felt as if a hot poker had been plunged deep into her heart. The priest began the service as Phillip lay in his coffin on the altar facing them. The rows in front of her were filled with his family and there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. The crematorium was a beautiful place and somehow Dawn felt at peace sat there. All the stories were told of Phillip in his younger days and how he once had a great life in front of him. The priest then spoke about how drugs had changed such a nice man with everything to live for and Dawn sunk her head in shame knowing everything he said was true.

  Phillip’s sister now stood in the pulpit and started to begin her speech about her brother. His sister looked so pretty, her blonde hair was clipped back from her face by a black flowered slide. As the wet mascara ran down her face, she held the tissue close to her eyes as she prepared to speak. Her father stood at the side of her as she spoke and held her when she couldn’t speak any further. As she spoke, she told of their times together as children and you could see Phillip’s mother nodding her head in agreement as she spoke about a bike he always played with. Her next sentence sent shivers throughout the crematorium and they all looked at each other until she finished.

  “I’m glad my brother is no longer alive”, she paused for a moment and continued. “He is no longer suffering and can be at peace without drugs in his life. My brother was lost to our family many years ago and all that we had left was the shell of the brother I once knew. He got caught up in a life of crime and drugs and I don’t think he knew how much it broke our hearts.” Her tears trickled down her face now and she shook as she tried to finish the speech. She said she owed it to her brother to set the record straight and this was her last chance to let people know that her brother was a good lad and never really meant to hurt anyone. She told everyone that it was just the drugs that had stolen his life and made him seem like he didn’t have a care in the world. As she finished her speech she looked
towards the coffin and made the sign of the cross and said her final goodbyes as people round her broke down in tears. “Goodnight our kid. Missing you already, goodnight, God bless.” Her father kissed her head and hugged her tightly. Dawn and Jade sobbed out loud, because his sister had hit a nerve inside them both that made them think of all the bad things they’d done to their families and people they cared about.

  The red velvet curtains finally closed and Phillip’s body disappeared behind them as the final song was played. The song the family played for him was songs by The Verve called ‘The Drugs don’t work’ and as the song played, everyone listened and thought of the wasted life that lay behind the curtain.

  Philip’s family left the crematorium huddled together. His mother could barely walk as she passed Jade and Dawn. As Dawn looked towards the red curtain she felt like she needed to run up and pull the curtain open and speak to Phillip one last time before he was gone forever, but she knew it was too late and remained frozen as she tried to make it out of the church. Dawn shook more than ever once they were outside in the cold air, and she knew her body’s need for heroin was more demanding than the loss of her boyfriend. After what had happened how could she even think about drugs, she thought, but still she continued to crave and never gave a second thought to the grief she was feeling. Jade needed a fix too and as they left the cemetery, they both hurried home to feed their need for the demon drug.

  As the weeks passed, Dawn was at an all time low and on a couple of occasions she thought about taking her own life. Jade had been there all the time for her but she couldn’t take the pain away. Jade had been the only one who had been earning any money at this time and she funded Dawn’s addiction while she tried to sort herself out. Jade had even gone back to shoplifting to try and earn extra cash for them both and was earning quite a bit of money now she had put her mind to it.

  One particular morning Jade went to Harpurhey Market to earn cash and events took a strange turn. It was all spur of the moment and once she’d started she knew she couldn’t go back. She was on the market looking at what she could have away, when from the corner of her eye she saw Tom and Francesca. At first, she felt sick in the pit of her stomach and then her thoughts turned to how she would pay them both back. Creeping round the market stalls, she could see them looking at some jumpers and she noticed they had left the baby unattended to the side of them. The noise on the market was quite loud and you couldn’t hear a word as you walked through. The vegetable man was shouting at the top of his voice.

  “Come on ladies, bunches of bananas only a pound, come and get them before they’re all gone.” Jade positioned herself at the side of the stall and as soon as a crowd of people were walking past she joined them and pushed Francesca’s baby with her. Her heart pounded and she knew she didn’t have long to get as far away as possible from the market, because within minutes the alarm would be raised and everyone would be searching for the baby. Her fat legs ran and ran and within minutes, she was heading for Dawn’s house not far from the market. She’d already decided she’d tell Dawn she was babysitting for a friend to end any questions regarding the baby. Anyway Dawn wouldn’t even know what day it was never mind that a baby was in the house. As she neared the house, sweat poured down her face, and she felt excited inside. Let’s see who is laughing now smart arse, she thought, as she tried to imagine Tom and Francesca’s faces as they looked for the baby.

  “Told them I would have the last laugh the pair of bastards, that’s what they get for fucking with me.”

  Francesca turned her head from the market stall and didn’t realise her baby was missing at first. It was only when she went to put the jumper she’d bought under the pram that she felt the terror. She looked round in panic and initially couldn’t speak. She started to run up and down the market stalls shouting at the top of her voice.

  “Has anyone seen my baby, please has anyone seen my baby?” Tom now ran to her side and realising the baby had gone, and started shouting. People on the market started to ask questions to each other and the market was up in arms looking for the missing child.

  “What colour is the pram” one woman shouted.

  “It’s, it’s, its fucking navy blue with cream piping round the side. He can’t be far we’ve only just turned round to look at the stall.” Everyone on the market passed the news round to one another and all the people were looking for the missing baby. Francesca was running round like a headless chicken and looked in every nook and cranny. One of the stallholders phoned the police and within minutes, they too were searching the area.

  A policewoman came to assist and tried to get as much information about the baby as possible. They asked what the baby was wearing and Francesca struggled to remember. She shook from head to toe and she wanted to be out on the streets searching for him, not sat wasting her time with a police officer. The officer asked the question again and Francesca snapped.

  “I can’t fucking remember. Listen my baby has gone missing and at the moment my mind won’t let me see further than that.” The officer gave her a few minutes to calm down and watched her pace the small market office. Tom tried to calm her down and reminded her that woman was only trying to help. He tried to jog her memory in the hope that she’d remember something. Francesca tried to calm herself and the vision of Rico lying on her lap that morning came flooding back. She remembered how she had laughed at the little blue train on his jumper and pointed to it making the noise of a train as he laughed. Then like a bolt of lightning, she remembered.

  “A blue jumper with a train on. That’s what he had on. I bought him a suit from Asda. It was light blue pull up bottoms and the jumper matched except it has a red train on.”

  The policewoman asked lots more questions and asked whether the baby had been fed, and what time his next feed would be. Francesca cried out now and screamed she wanted her baby back as Tom held her. Tom told the dibble that Rico had two readymade bottles in the pram along with several nappies. He knew this because he’d made them that morning, as they had planned to be out all day and needed to make sure he had enough food with him. The policewoman went outside the room and relayed the information to her colleagues. Francesca sobbed as she heard her son’s name being given over the radio. He was only five months old and he needed his mother she cried. She knew everything about him and when it come to bedtime the person who had him wouldn’t know how he liked to go asleep or anything about him.

  Sirens could be heard all over Harpurhey and the police helicopter was out in the sky searching the area. The residents were in shock and kept their own children locked indoors fearing that they would go missing too. The police started door to door enquires almost straight away and the press were there trying to get an interview with the parents, but Tom and Francesca weren’t ready for that yet. They just hoped that before the day was through they’d be reunited with Rico and they could be a family once more.

  Unfortunately, day turned into night and Rico was still missing. The local news had been near the market telling the story of the missing baby. They gave out a phone number for anyone knowing the whereabouts of the baby and to get in touch. They hoped somebody out there would phone in with any information, because at the moment nobody had a clue where the baby was.

  The police questioned Francesca and Tom, and they both felt like they were suspects. One of the officers knew Tom from when he’d been a smack head and asked him if he was still using heroin. Tom had gone ballistic and told the officer that he’d been clean for ages now and what the fuck had that to do with the disappearance of his nephew. The police asked who the father was of the baby and Tom told them it was his brother’s child. They asked about the arrangement between himself and Francesca and when he told them they lived together a whole new story started in their brains.

  “What, your brother’s locked up and you’re living with his girlfriend. What kind of set up is that?” Tom found himself getting angry and started to lose his temper as the officer carried on with his questions. Th
e next question hit Tom where it hurt and he realised how much of a secret himself and Francesca shared.

  “Are you having a relationship with your brother’s girlfriend Tom?” Tom’s lips dried as he searched his mind for the right answer to give. He didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t know what Francesca was going to say so he paused and tried to banish the question.

  “What the fuck has that got to do with my nephew being missing. This is about a missing baby, not mine and Francesca’s relationship.” The policeman realised he’d hit a nerve and looked at his fellow officer with concern. Tom felt guilty even though he knew he was innocent, and pleaded with them just to find Rico.