Perfectly Reflected

by S. C. Ransom

  On the day she had taken my memories, Catherine had been spotted in the water of the Thames. She had been extremely lucky; the tide was out and there had been very little rain for the previous week, so the water levels were very low. It was still dangerous though, and it sounded like the lifeboat had only just got there in time. I was skimming another report when the tingle was back in my arm.

  “Hi there, gorgeous! I’m sorry about earlier. I really didn’t mean to snap at you. Am I forgiven?” Callum’s gossamer touch was on my neck and I could see in the mirror that he was looking up at me from under his long lashes as he nuzzled my shoulder.

  “Hi,” I whispered. “Definitely forgiven. But Mum and Dad are still in their room so I need to be quiet. You should read this.” I angled the laptop screen back so that he could see it more easily, and I watched as his frown deepened. Eventually he sat up straight and looked at me.

  “Interesting… She clearly has some of her own memories too or she wouldn’t know her own name, just yours. I wonder how we can use this?”

  “Well, I know there’s the small detail of getting the memories in the first place, but once we work out a way to do that, as least we know what the amulet does to you. Sounds like it could be a bit dangerous too.”

  “Yes, that would be ironic wouldn’t it? Go to all the trouble to come back to life and promptly drown before anyone can save you.” He sighed, then smiled. “I’m just relieved that it’s only Catherine and not a random stalker doing all this.”

  “I know – me too! I’m almost pleased to see her again.” I smiled at him as I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

  “I’m not sure I would go quite that far,” he murmured as his lips found my hand. “She’s still a nasty piece of work.”

  I found it increasingly difficult to concentrate as he kissed each of my fingers in turn. I could see his soft lips in the mirror and I yearned to be able to touch them again properly. “Is it safe to go back to St Paul’s today?” I asked hopefully. I had been really disappointed that the trip the day before had been cut short and longed to feel his arms around me.

  Callum pursed his lips as he considered his answer, and I could see the gold flecks flashing deep in his eyes. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, not after all the aggro yesterday.”

  I sighed, but I knew he was right. I never wanted to meet Lucas again. Just thinking about how close I came to taking off the amulet made me shiver. “Lucas seems particularly vicious.”

  “He’s the only one here who knows anything at all about his past life, and I think it’s made everything even worse for him.”

  “Really?” I asked, intrigued. “What does he know?”

  “He has a tattoo on his arm that says Emily, so he knows that somewhere, someone meant something to him.”

  “Oh, that must be tough.”

  “Well, we might be more sympathetic if he was a nicer character, but honestly, he’s a really nasty piece of work.”

  “How long has he been over there with you?”

  “Since before Catherine and I appeared. He spends his entire time winding people up, as if it’s his mission to make everything even more miserable than it is already. I mean, we don’t exactly have friends over here, life’s not like that for us, but no one ever, ever chooses to spend time with Lucas.” He paused for a second. “But he’s the only one who knows anything at all…”

  “You know about Catherine, that she’s your sister; doesn’t that count?”

  “I don’t think it does, because we’re both here together. We died in the river at the same time but don’t remember anyone else. What Lucas has is proof that someone else existed for him, that he had a wife or girlfriend who he cared about. Maybe knowing what he’s lost is why he’s so twisted.”

  I hesitated, thinking of those cruel eyes. “Maybe. Or perhaps he’s just a horrible person.” I forced myself to smile, and reached for his face. “Good job I have you, eh?” I breathed, letting my fingers wander gently down his jawline. “How long can you stay?”

  He peered over my shoulder at my watch. “Not long, unfortunately. I have to go and help Olivia with her gathering. You know I help her most days, but I left too early this morning to do anything useful.”

  “I really liked Olivia. It’s awful that such a young girl is stuck with your terrible life. What can she possibly have done to deserve that?”

  “She was very excited about meeting you too, once she got over her nerves. I guess I could still bring her back with me later, if you want me to.”

  “It would be nice to talk to her.” I looked at him as innocently as possible. “She could tell me a little bit more about you!”

  “Umm, not so sure that’s a good idea. You might go off me once you know all about my bad habits.”

  “Bad habits?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “What can you possibly have been doing that would count as bad?”

  “I guess I’ll let Olivia tell you. She’d enjoy that.”

  “OK, that’s a deal then. You go and sort out your gathering, and I’ll give some thought to where we can start searching for Catherine. I’ll see you with Olivia later. When do you think you’ll be back?”

  He frowned slightly and his arm snaked back around me. “It could be a while; this afternoon OK?”

  “Sure. Can’t wait…”

  As I watched in the mirror I could see him hesitate, his mouth opening and shutting a couple of times as if he was trying to work out how to say something. The gentle touch on my arm became fractionally stronger. I smiled and raised an eyebrow in a question, and he looked at me almost shyly.

  “What is it?” I asked eventually.

  “I – I just wanted to apologise… again.” He was starting to look extremely embarrassed.

  “Apologise? What for?”

  “For this morning. I’m really sorry; I shouldn’t have come here so early. I’m not good at that time of day.”

  “Oh, that doesn’t matter. Don’t worry.” I couldn’t work out why he was getting so wound up about it.

  “But I was really horrible. You deserve better than that.” His fingers were tracing lines down the length of my hair, from my shoulder to my waist. It was hugely distracting.

  “Oh, well … that.” It was my turn to be embarrassed. “It’s not your fault, really.”

  “Thank you for trying to help anyway. It makes me love you even more.”

  “I would do anything for you, you know that.”

  “It’s not going to come to that. We’ll find some other way of making it work, trust me.” He hesitated a moment as he started to gently move my hair to one side, and I could see him stroking my shoulder next to the spaghetti strap of my top. “Now, I probably don’t have to leave for another five or ten minutes,” he muttered as his head bent down and I felt the briefest of touches as he started kissing my neck.

  “Or even quarter of an hour…” I whispered, feeling myself melt at his touch.

  The morning dragged on after he left, and I even volunteered to help with the gardening to occupy some time. I wasn’t used to getting up quite so early at the weekend. I hoped that by making myself useful all morning, I would avoid being called on to help with the dinner. My grandparents were coming over, and that meant the full roast, whatever the weather, and I had other plans for my afternoon.

  I was taking a well-deserved break at lunchtime when there was a knock at the door. Outside was our neighbour with her new puppy. The little brown Labrador was leaping all around her, enthusiastically chewing on his lead and planting his big front paws on her knees. “Hi, Lynda,” I smiled at her. “Hi, Beesley,” I added, stroking the dog’s head. He turned to leap up at me, licking my fingers.

  “Oh, Alex, I’m glad you’re in. I was hoping you could do me a favour.”

  “Sure, how can I help?”

  “Well, there’s a bit of a problem at work, and I have to go into the office. I was hoping I could leave Beesley on his own, but he’s already chewed through two cushions a
nd a shoe this morning. You know you offered to take him for a few hours…?” She lurched sideways as Beesley saw a bird land on the garage roof and tried to make a break for it. Hauling him back in on his lead she looked up at me apologetically. “It would really help me out. He’s still a bit of a handful as he hasn’t had many of his obedience classes yet.”

  I dropped into a crouch and called softly to the puppy. He bounded towards me, his chocolate-brown eyes full of mischief and his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth. He was gorgeous!

  “I’d love to look after him for a while. How long do you need?” As I looked at her Beesley leapt up and started trying to lick my face. “Down, boy, that’s enough,” I murmured.

  “Could you hang on to him until six?”

  “No probs. Do I need any of his stuff?”

  “I’ll run home and get everything now. It’s not too much, just his dinner and a couple of toys. And his basket of course.” As she was speaking Lynda was already walking down the drive, keen to get away. “I’ll be right back.”

  Mum looked somewhat surprised when I appeared in the garden with Beesley on his lead, and even more surprised when she saw the huge pile of stuff that Lynda had brought back with her. “How long’s he staying?” she asked, surveying the basket, which was heaving with toys and blankets and rolls of little plastic bags.

  “Well, she said until six,” I said dubiously. “But it looks like he’s moving in.”

  “It’s more stuff than you need for a baby,” Mum added, sorting through the pile. Beesley shot towards her, spotting his bag of treats in her hand. She ruffled his head.

  “Hmm, you’re not so dumb, are you? After your treats when you’ve done nothing to deserve them.” The little dog gave her a playful nudge. “What are you going to do with him all afternoon? He shouldn’t really be left on his own for too long.”

  “He’ll need a walk after lunch; that should take a while.” And give me plenty of time alone, I added to myself. I wondered what Beesley would make of the Dirges.

  In fact, both Beesley and the Dirges took a while getting used to each other. When Callum arrived I was out in the garden, and Beesley was sniffing in the bushes on the end of a very long lead as our fences weren’t good enough to let him loose. Beesley went berserk, barking and jumping up towards Callum.

  “I see,” he said as he reached me. “I’ve been replaced in your affections already, have I?” Although I couldn’t see him I just knew that he was raising his eyebrow at me.

  “Well, I wanted someone reliable, you know, someone who would come when I called, that sort of thing,” I teased back.

  “I think I’ve been very reliable,” he murmured as he started to stroke my neck. “And I’m sure I have some other benefits too…”

  “Maybe,” I agreed grudgingly, hiding a smile and trying not to wriggle too much in full view of the kitchen. “Some, anyway.”

  “Well, if you can control that mutt for a moment, Olivia’s here. She’s waiting just outside – I said I’d come and check what you were doing before we both appeared. Shall I go and get her now?”

  “It might be easier if we all take the dog for a walk. Then he should be used to both of you by the time we get back.” I had to shout the last bit over the noise of barking as Beesley, who had momentarily lost interest in Callum, noticed him again.

  I gathered up some toys and plastic bags, then grabbed my phone, pocket mirror and keys as I went through the kitchen and headed out of the front door. “I really must remember to have my phone on me when I’m pretending to talk to you with the earphones,” I mumbled, mostly to myself. Luckily Mum hadn’t noticed.

  Once I was on the driveway I quickly scanned around with the mirror. Olivia was sitting on the bonnet of Dad’s car, her hands still in constant motion as she made the links of a chain with her forefingers and thumbs. The repetitive movement gave away her nervousness, and as soon as she saw me she jumped up guiltily. Then she saw Beesley and her face was transformed.

  Beesley loped over to her and started to jump up and lick at where her hands would be, barking a greeting. I could see Olivia looking at Callum, presumably asking what she should do. “Stand up straight, put your hand out towards him palm down and slowly lower it. It seems to do the trick for me.” I couldn’t resist watching although I knew I looked a bit peculiar, standing there holding the mirror. Beesley looked up at Olivia and stood still for a moment, his eyes fixed on her hand. As she lowered it he gave one last bark and was silent.

  “Good dog!” I said, quickly walking towards him with a treat and shortening the lead. He wolfed it down, dribbling slightly, and turned to look at me with a happy expression on his face. “Hi, Olivia, let’s get to the park and then we can talk a bit more easily. Is that OK?” I caught a quick nod and a smile before I stashed the mirror back in my pocket and we started walking.

  It was a strange procession, me talking to the dog and to Callum, Callum talking to me and to Olivia, and Olivia playing with the dog. It was bizarre how quickly I had accepted such weird events in my life. I led them to the field near the playground, which was bordered by a large stream and had a small ford. As kids we had come here regularly to wade in our wellies and try and catch the fish, and I was sure Beesley would love it.

  We quickly discovered that Beesley really enjoyed having the Dirges to play with. After a little gentle persuasion, Olivia was more than happy to play with the puppy, running in and out of the ford and letting the dog follow her.

  While they were busy Callum and I had the chance to talk briefly. “Have you had any ideas yet? How we can use what we know about Catherine to help you get away from there?” I asked when Olivia was out of earshot.

  “I’ve thought about nothing else,” he replied quietly. “You realise that you are in the most terrible danger? If someone like Lucas had any idea, any idea at all, that draining someone of all their memories would bring him back to life, he’d stop at nothing to kill you.”

  “Look, I know about the danger, and I’m prepared for it. What we need to do is find Catherine and get her to tell us what she knows and why she hates me so much. Maybe that way we’ll get some clues to help us get you over.”

  Callum was silent for a moment. “And we need to stop her hounding you.”

  “I wonder if she’s living round here somewhere.”

  “I wonder what she remembers,” Callum said quietly.

  “How do you mean?”

  “Well, she obviously has all your memories, and she knows her own name, but did she get back all of her past as well? That’s what I’d like to know. If she did, she would know who we both were…” His voice tailed off.

  “Oh Callum, I’m so sorry, I hadn’t thought about that.” I reached across and gently stroked his arm, trying to smooth away the pain I could see in his eyes. He looked so downcast, almost defeated and yet again I yearned to be able to comfort him properly. “But don’t you think that this is good news? I mean, if she knows who you are, you could find out a bit about yourself and, well, I don’t know, maybe that would also give us some clues about what we can do.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think I could bear knowing anything about my past. It’s one thing living this life of endless misery when that’s all you know, it would be quite different if you could remember everything you had lost. That would a nightmare. Look at Lucas.”

  I thought about my own life, my family and friends and how I would feel if I could see them and hear them, but know that they thought I was dead. That would be unbearable. “I’m so sorry,” I said again. “What do you think we should do? I mean, we can forget all about Catherine if you want. I’m sure she’s not going to be persecuting me for ever.”

  Callum sighed. “I don’t understand why she would be bothering in the first place. I mean, what’s she got to gain?”

  “I know. You would’ve thought that she’d have had enough of me by now, given that she has to live with all my memories. In fact,” I added, my brain leaping forward a few
steps, “if she had any of her own memories why would she bother with me at all? What would be the point? I bet that means that she doesn’t have any of her own, or maybe just the ones from life as a Dirge.”

  Despite my efforts Callum still looked pretty glum. “You could be right,” he agreed grudgingly, “but she may just be vindictive. We really can’t know until we talk to her.”

  “Would that be a good idea? Think about it – she really hates me, and you can’t talk to her unless I hand over my amulet, and that’s not going to happen.” I couldn’t imagine having the cosy three-way communication we had just had with Olivia with Catherine, and there was absolutely no way I would give her the amulet. I shuddered at the thought.

  “We – well, you – are going to have to talk to her at some point. If we know more about what happened when she came over it will really help us work out what we can do.”

  “So that’s what we’ve got to do – track her down and get some answers.”

  “I guess so, and we need a bit of a plan to do that. How about— Oops, time to change the subject; Olivia is coming back over.”

  I turned to watch the puppy coming towards us from the stream. He was soaking wet and stopped every few metres to give himself a good shake. The water sprayed out in an arc around him, catching the sunlight. Between each shake he jumped up, wagging his tail and giving a playful bark. Even without looking in the mirror I could imagine Olivia there, jumping up and down in excitement with him. I turned back and looked over my shoulder in the mirror. It was exactly as I had pictured it: Olivia was bounding along with Beesley, her cloak thrown back over her shoulders, her young face flushed and excited. Even though he couldn’t hear her, Beesley seemed to be able to see her as well as Callum could. He was jumping up and licking her outstretched palm, making her giggle. The two of them arrived next to us in a flurry of spray.