Perfectly Reflected
Page 21
Back at home the house seemed less gloomy somehow, and I realised that I was actually hungry. I smiled to myself; Callum was still there for me. All I had to do was work out a way to communicate with him using the dog. Perhaps I could get Callum to make Beesley bark to command: one bark for yes, two for no, that sort of thing. What I had to do was to work out lots of Yes/No questions for him. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen as I worked in the kitchen, throwing together a simple pasta dish. I tried to write down exactly what I could ask, to give me a bit of an idea about where to start, but it was fiendishly difficult. I decided that the best thing I could do was revisit all the places I had been with Callum, to see if questions came to me. And while I was out and about he might be able to hijack a different dog of course. It didn’t have to be Beesley.
Pleased with my plan I had a long, hot soak in the bath, then settled down to watch a movie. It was just getting interesting when the house phone rang.
“Hi, Alex, it’s me. Is your mobile still out of action? You need to get another one.”
“Hi, Grace, how’s it going?”
“You sound much more cheerful than I was expecting. That’s good.”
“I am more cheerful. I had a pretty dreadful morning, but this afternoon I think I saw Callum – well, nearly saw him anyway.”
“Oh, wow, Alex! How did that happen?” She couldn’t keep the confusion out of her tone, and I realised that I was never going to be able to explain about the dog over the phone.
“It’s a bit complicated, but I was down by the little river in the field, with next door’s dog and I’m sure Callum was there because dogs can see them, the Dirges that is…” I realised quite how ridiculous all of that sounded and ground to a halt. There was a brief silence as Grace struggled to find something to say. “Look, I know it sounds mad. It is mad, but I’m sure that I saw what I saw, and it has cheered me up.”
“Then that’s good enough for me, honestly,” Grace said in a rush. “Now, what time do you want me round?”
“Umm, have I forgotten something? I wasn’t expecting you round this evening.”
“It’s Saturday night and I don’t like to think of you sitting in all alone. I promised Josh I would look after you while he was away tonight, so I’m coming over.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ve just had a bath and set up a film, then I’m going to get to bed early. I’ve not been sleeping well.”
“Are you sure? I’ve ditched Jack for the evening and I can be there in five minutes.” She sounded as if she didn’t quite believe me.
“Honestly, Grace, I’m fine on my own. There’s no danger any more, go and give Jack a nice surprise by turning up at the cricket party.”
“You’re a disappointment to me, Alex; you were my cast-iron alibi for not going to the excruciatingly dull cricket presentation and disco,” she scolded in a mock stern voice. “Please can I come? I’ll bring popcorn and I can sit very quietly on the edge of the sofa while we watch the dodgy film. How about it?”
My resistance crumbled. It would be nice to sit and watch the film with someone. “OK,” I agreed, knowing that I had been masterfully manoeuvred to exactly where she wanted me. “But no difficult questions, I’m not up to it. Promise?”
“I promise. See you in a few minutes. I’ll bring my pyjamas too, just in case I decide to stay over.” She clicked off the phone before I had a chance to protest.
I yawned as I reset the film back to the beginning and waited for her to arrive, and I realised that I was happy for her to come and take over for a brief while, to keep me safe. Because whatever I said, I really didn’t know if Catherine was finished with me, and if she wasn’t, what her warped mind would come up with next.
Grace left me to have a long lie-in the next day. It was Sunday, and we had the house to ourselves until my parents got back. I had slept well and for the first time in days felt refreshed when I woke up. Downstairs I could smell the comforting aroma of toast and hear the faint sound of the radio. She was making herself at home. I looked at the ceiling as I worked on my plan; I decided to search some of the places I had been with Callum, and see if his presence was any stronger there. It didn’t seem likely though, not if I couldn’t get any sense of him at all at the top of the dome. But the alternative – doing nothing – wasn’t an attractive one either. I levered myself out of bed, wincing as my aching body protested, and made my way downstairs.
“Morning, Grace,” I said as perkily as I could manage. “You look like you’ve been up for hours.”
“Well, I didn’t wake that early, but you were sound asleep so I thought I’d leave you in peace. You don’t have any plans for today, do you?”
“No, only cleaning up the place and slapping on camouflage make up before my parents turn up.”
“Good point,” she said, eyeing the kitchen, which still showed evidence of some of Josh’s more experimental efforts. “Well, at least I can give you a hand with all this.”
“Really, you don’t have to, I’m quite capable.”
“If you say so.” Grace raised an eyebrow as I reached for the toast and winced. “Look, I can stick around for a bit, till I need to go and get some stuff done at home.” She peered more closely at my face. “And nothing’s going to cover that up; it needs days yet.”
“I know you’re going out later, but can you be here when Mum and Dad get back? You can stop them questioning me half to death.” I gingerly touched the healing scabs on my cheek; my skin felt like a cheese grater.
“Sure, just let me know when you think they’ll arrive and I’ll pop back. But your Beesley story is pretty watertight. Just don’t let them see your arm.”
Over several coffees and numerous pieces of toast we polished my story, then finally conversation turned to Catherine. It was such a relief to be able to talk with someone who knew, and who understood.
“So do you think she’s gone?” Grace asked me as we started trying to load everything into the dishwasher.
“I don’t know. She has what she wanted – first the amulet and then the ability to make my life dreadful. But she really, really loathes me.”
“That’s so odd, given that it was technically you who made it possible for her to come back to life. You think she’d be a bit more grateful!”
“You would, wouldn’t you? It doesn’t seem to have worked that way for her though.” I paused, remembering the night in the alley behind the pub. “She kept telling me that she knew it was all my fault, but unfortunately the details of why it was my fault got wiped when Olivia stole that memory from her.” I realised as Grace’s perfect eyebrow shot up that I hadn’t actually told her about Olivia and the stealing of individual memories. “It’s a long and complicated addition to an already unbelievable story, I promise you. Just accept that it happened,” I pleaded.
“Fine, OK, carry on.”
“So, she was massively cross about whatever it was that I’m supposed to have done, and the fact that she no longer remembered it did absolutely nothing to help. She was livid.” I rammed the shelf of the dishwasher back into place, making all the cups rattle. “I mean, what is it that’s my fault? Why am I responsible? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Maybe it’s something to do with the amulet. It’s obviously a powerful source of something. Maybe when you put it on something happened to her.”
“I guess that could be it,” I agreed dubiously, considering the empty space on my wrist. The amulet was powerful, that was true. A small idea started to circle my brain, and I wondered just how powerful it could be.
“Hey, dozy, are you going to switch that machine on?” Grace’s question cut across my thoughts.
“Oh, sorry, yes. I just can’t help remembering, you know?”
“Hey now, don’t you start getting all emotional again.” She caught me by both hands and pulled me around to face her. “I thought I’d been doing a pretty good job so far, and I don’t want to have to leave just as you are slipping back into your deep gloom.”
“Oh, Alex, thank goodness you’re home. I couldn’t get you on your mobile. We’ve had a terrible morning, and I need your help.”
“Whatever’s happened? Are you both OK?” It wasn’t like Mum to be in a panic and I found my fists were clenched, palms already damp.
“We’re both fine, love – I didn’t mean to worry you. We’ve been robbed though. At the airport. Someone took the bag with the passports.”
“What! How on earth did they manage that?” Dad was famously paranoid about keeping the passport wallet safe.
“Oh, it’s a long story, but it’s broadly my fault. I didn’t keep a close enough eye on the bag when I was standing in a queue talking to someone.”
“Oh, bad luck.” Dad would be furious, I thought. “What do you need me to do?”
“Can one of you please stick around the house today? I’m sorry if that mucks up your plans, but I’m not sure what documents the embassy will need faxing over in order to issue us with temporary passports.” She sounded tired and harassed.
“Of course, I’ll do it; Josh has gone to that music festival. I’ve got no specific plans for today anyhow.”
“I’m sorry, love, I’d forgotten you’d be on your own this weekend. When’s he due back?”
“Um, tomorrow I think. I don’t remember, but I can text him and find out.”
“Well, I’m not sure quite how long it’s going to be before we can get on a plane. Everything seems to be shut here today, and no one is ever much in a rush about anything. It could be a couple of days. I really don’t like the fact that you’re on your own.”
“Honestly Mum, I’ll be fine. Term’s ended, so I don’t have to get anywhere in particular, and Grace has been staying over. If you need me though, call the home number, not my mobile. I, er… well, I dropped it in some water and it’s not working any more.”
“Oh, Alex, you should be more careful! That was an expensive phone.”
“I know, Mum, I’m sorry. Anyway, for now, until I can get it fixed, I’m using the spare one. Have you got the number for that?”
“I’m not sure. Will you text it to me? I guess that explains why I couldn’t reach you earlier.”
“Sorry, I should have told you. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Well, it did seem odd. You’re usually welded to that phone. Look, I have to go; Dad’s trying to talk to the police at the moment, and with his grasp of Italian and their grasp of English, it’s not going well.”
“Oh, poor Dad,” I sympathised, knowing how much he hated trying to deal with officials. “Why don’t you remind me where all the documents are, then I can have them ready for you when you ring and tell me what to do with them?”
She gave me detailed instructions on where to dig in the office, which was just as well as it was packed to the ceiling with books, files and old post. Finding anything in there was a bit of an adventure.
Once she rang off Grace made a move to go. “Look, I’m sorry, I’m going to have to go now, but we’ll talk later, yes? This afternoon I should have a bit of time to check through the conversations on Facebook, and see if Catherine has given away any clues about where she might be, not that we have any real reason to find her now.”
“That would be great. Thanks for all your help.”
I shut the door behind her with mixed feelings. It had been great to have a conversation about Callum with someone, but once I was on my own I didn’t have to keep up the pretence about being OK. It also meant that I had some time to consider something that had occurred to me earlier. Grace had made some mention about the amulet being powerful, and I had started to think about just how powerful it might actually be. Every time someone found it and released a Dirge from their purgatory, the amulet managed to find its way back to the river, but no one had explained to me how that worked. Sometimes I guessed that it put people into the state of mind that they just threw it back into the Thames in despair: I had nearly done that at Hampton Court when Catherine had convinced me that Callum didn’t love me. And when I had found it, it was tied to a large rock that someone must have thrown in.
But over the years, surely someone would have tried to smash it? What if one of its powers was to regenerate itself in the river, ready for the next victim? The more I thought about it, the more feasible it seemed to be. Not feasible enough to share with Grace though; this idea I was going to have to explore on my own.
I started to mull over the implications as I searched the office, but soon found that I had to keep my mind on the one task. The piles of paperwork were huge, and although there were files for things, they were mostly full and the overflow was stacked up in random places. Eventually I found what Mum needed, and the old envelopes stuffed with ageing certificates proved quite distracting for a while.
It was a while before Mum rang back to get the information, by which time I had abandoned any thoughts of doing anything practical or useful for the day. But it had given me time to think; about the amulet, and about Callum.
My main difficulty was actually trying to work out just what I felt: on the one hand I was distraught because Callum was as good as dead to me with the amulet smashed; on the other I was positive that I had sensed him in the park with Beesley, so I knew that he was still there somewhere. So should I grieve or not?
My head was beginning to spin, going round and round the problems. I was grateful that Mum and Dad were going to be away for a while yet though, so I didn’t have to explain myself to them. I pulled up the sleeve of my T-shirt to see how the bruise was looking and quickly rolled it back down again. It was still very clearly a golf club head. I was going to have to keep that hidden for at least another forty-eight hours. After that I might get away with it.
I sighed, and went to make myself a cup of coffee. The kitchen was warm, so I opened up the French windows and took my drink out on to the terrace. As usual the birds were attacking the nut feeder, flitting to and fro from the nearby tree, the young fledglings trying hard to stay on but regularly falling off. It would be so much easier if Callum could influence the garden birds, not just a dog who didn’t belong to me. I watched them carefully as they fed, but there was no pattern in their movement, nothing that would make me think that he was around. And the more I watched, the more I wondered if I had imagined it with Beesley; had I been so desperate to hear from Callum that I had put my own warped interpretation on a perfectly innocent situation?
No, he was around, I was sure of it, I had to put those sorts of thoughts behind me and cling to the hope that he was there, that there was a way for us to be together again. The amulet had to be able to regenerate. I realised that my hands were clenched into tight fists and I forced myself to relax. It would be OK, I was not going to give up: the alternative was unbearable
Dad rang as I was contemplating my evening, with news that they were going to have to spend an extra couple of days in Italy but were hoping to get on a flight on Wednesday. He was also worried that I was sitting in the house all alone.
“Why don’t you get Grace to stay over again? You could watch a gruesome chick-flick, or whatever they’re called.”
“Dad, I’m fine, I don’t need a babysitter.”
“I’m not suggesting you do,” he said, surprised. “Whatever gave you that idea? I thought it might be fun, that’s all. You seem to like those terrible films.”
“Well, I suppose that’s true,” I admitted grudgingly. “But she’s out tonight. I’ll try someone else, Dad, if you really want me to.”
“Good girl. It would be nice to think that you were being entertained this evening, not just sitting there all alone.”
“There are some distinct benefits to being here all on my own for a change,” I mumbled to myself after I said my goodbyes. But only a few minutes after I had put the phone down on Dad, it rang again.
“Hi, Grace, what a coincidence! Has my dad j
ust called you?”
Grace laughed.“What are you on about? I don’t generally chat with your dad. Why would he ring me?”
“Oh, as he and Mum aren’t going to be back from Italy for a few days, he thought I should get you over again tonight.”
“Well, given your ability to annoy complete strangers, I agree with him. I could come back later if you want me to? It would be pretty late though, and I have to be back home first thing.”
“Don’t worry, it’s fine. Your mum will go mad if you’re late setting out for your gran’s house. Catherine has what she wanted – the amulet is gone. What would be the point in her persecuting me any further?”
“Well, I suppose,” Grace said cautiously. “There’s nothing at all from her on the Web. She hasn’t posted anything about anyone, so I don’t have any leads as yet. I’ll keep going though. Maybe she’s gone.”
“Maybe she has. Look, I’m going to be in the house all night. I can lock up now if it’ll make you feel any better. And Josh comes home tomorrow. What more harm can come to me here?”
“I suppose you’re right. But if you want anything, just call me or Jack, OK? We’re here to help.”
“I know, Grace, and I really appreciate it. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
The next morning I woke with a start, as if a noise somewhere in the house had disturbed me. I listened hard but there were just the usual creaks and groans of an old building. I had a strange feeling that I had been dreaming about something familiar, but as usual I could remember none of the details. Some people seemed to be able to recall their dreams in fantastic detail, but I never did. I just knew that Callum had been there, telling me what to do, what my next move should be, but I couldn’t remember any of it. I turned over and punched the pillow in frustration.
“I’m sorry, Callum. However hard I try the dreams are not working. I still don’t know what you are trying to tell me. We are going to have to work out another way of talking.”