Amish Redemption

by Patricia Davids

  * * *

  Seeing the worry fall away from Mary’s face made Joshua happy. He still didn’t understand why she had been so upset about appearing on the news. There had to be more to it than what she was sharing with him. He’d seen the flash of fear in Nick’s eyes, too, before anger replaced it.

  Joshua was curious, but it wasn’t any of his business, so he kept quiet.

  A car honked behind them. Joshua urged Tilly to a speedier pace. The road was still filled with traffic and many drivers grew impatient when they had to creep along behind an Amish wagon or buggy. He didn’t want to cause a wreck. Unfortunately, it meant they arrived at Ada’s farm that much quicker and his time alone with Mary was cut short.

  And soon the rest of his time with her would be cut short, too. He would have to head home by Wednesday at the very latest. It wouldn’t do to miss his first meeting with his parole officer, even for another day in Mary’s company.

  When they reached the farm, he stopped the cart by the front gate and got out. He held out his hand to help her down. Her fingers closed over his with trusting firmness. Hannah darted out of the house, letting the screen door slam behind her. Tilly flinched at the sound, jerking the cart. Mary lost her balance. She would have fallen if he hadn’t caught her by the waist and pulled her against him. She clutched his shoulders to steady herself.

  He gazed into her wide eyes as he slowly lowered her to the ground, reluctant to let her go. His hands spanned her tiny waist with ease. Color bloomed in her cheeks. An overpowering urge to kiss her hit him. What would she do if he tried?

  Hannah shot down the porch steps. “Joshua, you’re back. Did Levi get my wagon fixed?”

  Joshua slowly released Mary. Her hands slid down his arms in a soft caress before she stepped away. He drew an unsteady breath and turned his attention to Hannah. Ada was at the screen door watching them with a knowing little smile on her face.

  Feeling foolish, he gave Hannah his full attention and dropped to one knee to address her. “I went to the buggy shop, but as I suspected, Levi was too busy to work on your wagon.”

  Her hopeful expression fell and her lower lip slipped out in a pout. “Oh. Well, that’s okay. Lots of people need their real buggies fixed. I can pretend my shoe box is my wagon for a little while longer.”

  “I’m glad to hear you say that, Hannah. It means you believe in putting the needs of others before yourself.”

  She tipped her head slightly. “It does?”

  “It does. Thinking of others has its own rewards.” He rose to his feet and withdrew the box from beneath the seat. Setting it on the ground in front of her, he waited for her to open it. Mary looked on with a pleased expression.

  Hannah glanced up at him. “What’s this?”

  “A reward for putting others first.”

  She opened the flaps of the cardboard box. “My wagon! It did get fixed.”

  She pulled it out and then stared in the box with a puzzled frown. “Someone left their toys in here.”

  He grinned. “They are your toys. I made them for you.”

  “You did?” She reached in and came out with a handful of wooden animals.

  “Look, Mamm, Joshua made me a cow and two horses and three pigs, and here is Bella!”

  The toys were little more than crude wooden cutouts, but he’d had a chance to sand them smooth. They were recognizable animals even if they weren’t detailed. “Do you like them?”

  “They are wunderbar! Did you make some chickens?”

  “I didn’t because you already had some.” And because they might have taken more skill than he could muster with Levis’ jigsaw.

  She loaded the animals in her wagon and ran toward Ada. “Mammi, look what Joshua made for me.”

  “They are very nice. Did you thank him?”

  “Danki, Joshua.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Ada held open the screen door so Hannah could come inside. “Joshua is making both my girls smile today.”

  Feeling pleased with himself, he propped his arms on the gate. “Ada, you are the only Kaufman woman I want smiling at me.”

  “You are a flirt.” She rolled her eyes and blushed before she disappeared into the house.

  “Only because you tempted me with your fried chicken,” he called after her.

  He turned to put the horse away and found Mary watching him with her arms crossed and a tiny smile curving her lips. “How do you do that?”

  “How do I do what?” He strolled back to stand in front of her with his thumbs hooked under his suspenders.

  “How do you make us all like you so easily?”

  Joshua leaned closer to gaze into her sky-blue eyes. He saw the chasm opening under his feet, but he was powerless to keep from falling in. Why did the first woman to turn him inside out have to be a sheriff’s daughter? “Do you like me?”

  “I can’t decide.”

  “Guess that means I’ll have to try harder.” He leaned closer still, but instead of trying for the kiss he wanted, he slipped past her, grasped Tilly’s bridle and led the mare to the barn. He knew Mary was watching.

  Inside the barn, he found Oscar waiting for him in the first box stall. The big brown horse whinnied a greeting. He limped forward and Joshua saw the large dressing covering his hip. “Looks like the vet took care of you.”

  He led Tilly into an adjacent stall, unharnessed her and began to rub her down.

  The barn door opened and Ada came in with a basket full of bandages and ointments. “Before you flustered me, I was going to tell you that your horse arrived.”

  “I’m sorry I teased you, but your fried chicken is the best. I mean that. Better than my mother’s, and that takes some doing.”

  “Stop with the flattery.”

  “If I must.”

  “The vet sent instructions on how to take care of your horse’s injury and some supplies. I’ll leave them here.” She put them on a workbench beside the barn door.

  “Danki.”

  Her face grew serious as she walked toward him. “I know it is not our way to interfere in the lives of our young people, but I’m an old woman with a bad heart, so I hope you will forgive me.”

  “For what?”

  “Are you a free young man?”

  He stopped brushing the mare and stared at Ada. His stomach flip-flopped. Had she found out about his prison record? “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t flirt with Mary unless you are prepared for her to take you seriously.”

  Laying his currycomb aside, he came to the stall gate and leaned on it with his arms crossed. “I would never knowingly hurt Mary.”

  “I’m sure that’s true, but she has endured many heartaches. I don’t want to see her suffer another if I can help it. Do you know what I mean?”

  “I like Mary. I think we can be good friends.”

  “But not more than friends?”

  “I have to return home. It may be a long time before I can come back.”

  She sighed deeply. “I’m glad you are honest about it. You are a likable young fellow, but don’t encourage her if you don’t mean it with all your heart. I have never seen her smile at anyone the way she smiles at you. I don’t want to see her get her heart broken. Supper will be ready soon.”

  “Can I ask you something, Ada?”

  “Ja.”

  “Is Mary still mourning Hannah’s father?”

  “She does not mourn him. He did not treat her well, but through him, God gave her Hannah, and for that gift we are all grateful.”

  “Why hasn’t she gone out with some of the local fellows?”

  “Because a man must win Mary’s trust before he can win her heart, and she does not trust easily.”

  Ada left the barn and he mulled over her word
s as he finished taking care of Tilly. Was he being unfair to Mary? He liked her. He wanted to spend more time with her. If she felt the same, what harm was there in their friendship?

  He wasn’t prepared to admit his feelings were stronger.

  He left the stall and picked up the supplies for Oscar. He briefly read through the vet’s instructions. It was simple enough. He entered Oscar’s stall with the intention of changing the dressing as per the vet’s instructions. He noticed the grain in the horse’s feed bucket hadn’t been touched, but his nose was wet from getting a drink.

  “What you doing?”

  Joshua looked over Oscar’s back to see Hannah had climbed to the top of the stall gate and was watching him. “I’m checking to make sure Oscar is comfortable. He’s in a strange new place and he’s had a lot of scary things happen to him.”

  “He looks okay to me.”

  “Looks can sometimes be deceiving. He hasn’t eaten anything, but he has been drinking water, so that’s good. I think he’ll be okay in a day or two.”

  “Mammi says you are going to be leaving soon.”

  “That’s right. I have to go home.”

  “You are coming back, aren’t you?”

  “I hope I can. Will you look after Oscar for me until he can come home?”

  “I think Mamm should do that. He’s pretty big.”

  “What is it that you think I should do?” Mary asked as she leaned on the gate beside her daughter. Joshua’s heart jumped up a notch, as it always did when he caught sight of her. He was kidding himself. What he felt was much more than friendship.

  “Joshua wants you to look after Oscar until he comes back because he’s going to be leaving soon.”

  Mary met his gaze. “I reckon I can do that, if he will show me what needs to be done.”

  “I was about to change the dressing, if you want to watch. The vet left me detailed instructions.”

  She opened the gate and slipped into the stall, making Hannah giggle as she swung it wide and then closed it. Hannah grinned at her. “That’s fun. Can we do it again?”

  “After Joshua shows me what needs to be done.” Mary moved to stand near him. She kept her arms folded tightly across her middle. He tried to keep Ada’s warning at the forefront of his mind. He didn’t want to hurt Mary. He would be more circumspect in his dealings with her.

  “First thing is to remove the old bandage.”

  She stepped up beside Joshua to read the paper he held. Her nearness caused him to lose his train of thought. “Then what?” she asked.

  He forced his attention back to the horse. “The vet stitched the wound, so you want to check and make sure none of the stitches look infected.” He pulled the dressing off and revealed a swath of shaved skin with a neat set of sutures down the center. The cut itself was about eight inches long.

  “It looks good to me.”

  “Me, too.” He softly pressed along the wound. “You want to check for hot spots or lumps that would indicate an infection is forming deep in the tissue.” Yellowish fluid oozed from the lowest stitch when he pressed beside it.

  Mary placed her hand next to his and followed with an examination of her own. “I don’t feel anything unusual. What about this drainage?”

  “The vet says we need to wash it down with cool water and he suggests putting some petroleum jelly on the skin below where it is seeping. He sent along some ointment to put on the dressing to keep the edges of the wound moist. Mostly, I’m worried about Oscar rubbing it against the boards when it starts itching.”

  Mary rubbed her left wrist. “I remember how much they itched before the doctor took them out.”

  “You’ve had stitches? I never have. What happened?”

  She looked away and tugged her cuff lower. “I got cut with a piece of glass.”

  “On your wrist? That could’ve been serious.”

  “I was fortunate.” She folded her arms again and wouldn’t make eye contact.

  Something told him there was more to the story, but he didn’t press her. “Other than a dressing change every other day, he shouldn’t need anything special. The vet doesn’t want him out where he can run, but I hate to see him confined to a stall.”

  “I can walk him.”

  “That would be great.” He applied the ointment and a clean dressing, and then patted Oscar’s shoulder.

  “Do you know when you’ll be leaving?” Mary followed him out of the stall.

  He swung the gate wide several times, making Hannah laugh as she held on. He plucked her off and set her on the floor. “I must be home by Thursday. I’ll stay as long as I can.”

  Hannah skipped out of the barn ahead of them. Mary walked slowly. “When do you think you’ll be back?”

  He had to be honest. He stopped walking and she paused beside him. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back, or if I’ll be back.”

  “I see.” Some of the light in her eyes died.

  “A lot depends on the man I’m meeting on Thursday. If I can’t return, my father will send one of my brothers to collect Oscar.”

  “I hope you come back.” She bit her lower lip and looked down, as if she were afraid she had said too much.

  He lifted her chin with his fingers until she was looking at him. “I hope I can, too. But I can’t make you any promises.”

  She laid her hand against his cheek. “I’m not asking for a promise.”

  The longing in her eyes was too much for him to resist. He leaned forward and gently kissed her.

  Chapter Ten

  Mary knew she should turn aside, but she didn’t. Joshua gave her a chance to do just that. He hesitated, only a breath away from her. She didn’t move. She wanted to know what his mouth would feel like pressed against hers. She closed her eyes.

  His lips were firm but gentle as he brushed the corner of her mouth. She tipped her head slightly and he took advantage of her willingness. His kiss deepened and it was more wonderful than she had imagined, than anything she remembered. Her heart raced. She gripped his shoulders to steady herself and kissed him back.

  A few seconds later, he pulled away. She opened her eyes to stare up at him. His face mirrored her wonderment. She didn’t know how to react or what to say.

  Regret filled his dark eyes. “I’m sorry, Mary. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  She pressed her hand to her lips. They still tingled from his touch. “Don’t be sorry.”

  She turned and raced out of the barn, determined to regain her self-control. Something she couldn’t do when he was near.

  After all this time. After all the heartaches she had endured, the Lord had finally sent someone to make her believe in love again.

  Only she knew it couldn’t be love she felt. It had to be infatuation. She barely knew Joshua and he barely knew her, but for the first time in years, she believed it was possible to care about a man and have him care about her in return. A man who was kind and generous. Someone who could make her heart flutter with just a look.

  When she reached the house, she paused and looked back. He was standing in the barn door watching her. He didn’t look happy. Her common sense returned, pulling her silly girlish fantasy out of the clouds.

  He was sorry he had kissed her. He was leaving. By his own admission, he might not come back. She was a fool to let her feelings get so far out of hand. Miriam had warned her to think with her head and not to let her emotions rule her. She hadn’t listened.

  It wouldn’t happen again.

  * * *

  It couldn’t happen again.

  If Joshua had known how much a simple kiss would change his relationship with Mary, he would never have given in to the impulse.

  Supper was strained. Mary wouldn’t look at him. She barely spoke. She barely touched her food. Even Hannah seemed t
o notice that something was wrong. She kept glancing from her mother to him with a questioning look in her eyes, but she didn’t say anything.

  Ada kept up her usual running chatter. Had Mary told her what he’d done? He didn’t think so. If Ada thought he was trifling with Mary, he was pretty sure that she would sic Bella on him. He half believed that he deserved it. After professing that he would never hurt Mary, he’d gone right ahead and made a very stupid move.

  The thing was, he didn’t regret that kiss at all.

  Mary’s smile was sweet, but the taste of her lips was even sweeter. They were soft and delicate, like the petals of a rose.

  And he had to stop thinking about it right this second. It couldn’t happen again.

  When he went into the living room to read the Bible after supper, Mary excused herself, claiming a headache, and went to bed early.

  Hannah played quietly with her wagon and wooden animals for an hour, and then Ada took her up to bed. Joshua was left alone with his thoughts. They weren’t happy ones. His impulsive gesture might have cost him a friendship he valued deeply. Was there a way to make it up to her? Would apologizing again help? Or only make things worse? He was afraid to find out.

  He wandered into the kitchen. He missed having tea with Mary. He missed the quiet, intimate moments they shared across the red-and-white-checkered tablecloth. Leaving the kitchen, he climbed the stairs. He glanced at Mary’s closed door, then kept walking until he reached his room. He didn’t write home. Instead, he lay down on the bed and folded his arms behind his head as he tried to figure out his next move. The full moon rose and cast a bright rectangle of light through the window. He watched the moonbeams’ slow crawl across the floor for hours and still didn’t have an answer.

  * * *

  Sunday morning dawned bright and clear and Mary was thankful she could finally get out of bed. Attempting to sleep had been a futile exercise until the wee hours.

  She saw Joshua’s door was open when she stepped out into the hallway. His bed was neatly made and empty. He was already up, too. She paused at the top of the stairs. What would she say to him? What would he say to her?